Category: Foodstuffs

You know I’m bad

I’ve been trying (and mostly failing) to eat healthier lately, but it’s been hard. Turns out you can’t just turn your eating habits around overnight. I suppose it’s possible, but certainly not easy. Anyway, this “Lean Cuisine” business has been working its way into my lunches, but it’s all a bunch of baloney.

Taking a quick glance at the box does not reveal its sinister truths. No, in fact, if you’re not paying attention, you might be tricked into thinking that this meal is healthy for you. But that is a lie. The ravioli is a lie.

Oh, look at this in the corner, it’s the gist of the nutritional information. I know enough about this stuff to know that the six-inch ham sandwich I get at the Subway has less calories and fat than this box of ravioli. Not by much, but this purported “good choice” of a meal might not be all you think it is. But then let’s look at the fine print.

So the truth here is that they aren’t giving you healthy food, they’re just giving you a pittance of the same crap you’ve been eating all along. Very clever, lean cuisine, but not clever enough. My sad little Subway sandwich is healthier than this thing, and there’s more food there. Again, not by a wide margin, but the sandwich is considerably more filling than the even sadder six pieces of ravioli. The only thing that the lean cuisine is able to hold over the Subway sandwich is that the sub costs a bit more.

Maybe some of the other lean cuisine options are actually healthy for you. I haven’t checked them all out, because this is the kind that was in my freezer. Hopefully at least one of the other ones is a little better all-around than the ravioli. I’d much rather eat a bigger portion of healthy food than a small portion of food that’s not good for me.

Eyes of flame

Got me some of the second degree of those new (for a limited time, most likely) Doritos, the Firey Buffalo flavour, and I was not at all disappointed. It was a while back, so I don’t entirely remember how they tasted, but the description was pretty accurate. They were a super-hot version of buffalo-wing flavoured chips, and I found them much more in line with my tastes than the jalapeno variety. Still not exactly a kind of chip I would buy regularly, but there’s more to that than only decent flavour.

These motherlovers were hot. Like, insane amounts of spiciness lived within these chips, and I honestly could not manage to finish the entire bag in a single sitting – and this is one of the small bags we’re talking about. Luckily, I did not manage to buy a Pepsi Lime again, so I had a slightly more effective and much less disgusting glass of water there to help soothe the burn. Though it didn’t. Because they were so hot! I won’t say I’m a connoisseur of spicy foods, but there were definitely up there on the list of the spiciest foods I’ve eaten.

The odd twist to this story, however, lies in the 3rd degree burn Doritos. I’ve been looking for them since I polished off the second half of this bag, but I cannot find them! Perhaps I need to search convenience stores situated a little bit father from my house, but they seem to have disappeared right off the racks. Now I can’t believe that the hottest of these chips is the most popular, because I could barely stand the second level of them, but they can’t have been pulled or recalled because Frito-Lay still advertises them on their website. Perhaps the Scorchin’ Habanero was subject to a very small production run? I may never know for sure, but that may be okay, because I’m fairly confident that eating those chips would quite literally set my mouth aflame. Aflame, I say! I really love getting the chance to use words with a’s tacked onto the front of them. It makes me feel all dramatic and whatnot.

This is not speculation

So I had the items in the picture below as a snack today. Turns out I picked the wrong ones on both counts. I’m special!

First, the Doritos. Doritos apparently have not one, but three questionably new flavours out right now. Each one is assigned a degree of burnination. I guess they’re supposed to be really spicy? Being the lover of spicy things, I went for what I thought was the most spicy of the three. As it just so happens, I have no idea which way the burn degrees go. So really, I picked the weakest of the three, as I was informed after I got home and looked at the back of the package. There’s a little picture of a thermometer with the temperature just above the bottom, and an arrow which informs me that my heat level is there.

But damn, those Blazin’ Jalapenos were hot! My mouth was positively aflame! Well, of course it wasn’t actually on fire, but I imagine it would have been if I’d chosen one of the flavours farther up the spiceometer. Like, they were even more intense than the spicy thai ramen noodles that I love so much. There is no doubt in my mind that the Firey Buffalo and Scorchin’ Habanero will break me like a little girl when I try them (and you know I will). Also, I’m not a huge fan of ha-ha-halapeno, so the taste didn’t even resonate with me very well. Better than eating a straight jalapeno pepper, but not by a whole lot.

The Pepsi, on the other hand, was a fault of both my stupidity and my lack of attention to detail. There was a sign on the chip stand that said if you buy a Pepsi and a bag of Doritos, you get a slight discount. So why wouldn’t I? I never say no to an ice cold delicious Pepsi. I noticed the advertised Pepsi bottle has a green band around the top of the label, and assumed it was just part of the cross-promotion. Well it was, but it also served to differentiate the Pepsi With Lime from Good Pepsi. Of course I also failed to notice this until I got home.

Not a fan of the Lime Pepsi. It’s been promoted before, but I never tried it until now because it sounded like something that I would find disgusting. I don’t really think it’s that bad, but I surely will never drink it again if superior options exist. It’s like someone got 7up all in my Pepsi, but it negated the Pepsi and lemon flavours and just left lime and something that sort of tastes like it might be a creepy uncle in the Pepsi family. 7up and Pepsi mixed actually taste much better. But yeah, the lime flavour is overpowering and I obviously could stand it long enough to finish the bottle, but that’s never happening again. From now on, I pay damn close attention to my Pepsi labels.

Now I’m fine

Huh, it turns out that I almost get more hits when I don’t post. Take a look at this graph of site traffic over the last four months.

Crazy stuff, there. Anyway, back to the task at hand. Remember last June, when I posted links to a handful of my favourite articles on the site? No? Refresh your memory then. I had planned on making a second list of favorites, but it never really panned out. Like most of the things I try to do. But here I am, almost a year later, come to finally post the rest of my choices. Of course, I’d long since lost the list I had selected, but I think these ones are particularly memorable, even if I’m the only one who does.

Cap’n Crunch’s Choco Donuts – Present me loves the Cap’n cereals more than anything, but for some reason back in the day I guess I was inferring that he was a pedophile? Regardless, this was the first article that a lot of my friends complimented me on, so it sticks out pretty prominently in my memory.

Top 12 Reasons MegaMan Rules – My goodness, was I really this bad? I realize now that basically every word I typed here makes me look like a retarded fanboy now, but I suppose at that point I was. Oh well. I remember working really hard on this one, especially on the (now obviously) shitty, shitty banners.

The Squirrel Game – Board game fan fiction. For most people that’s enough reason to leave the site entirely, but I refute that that’s exactly why you should read this article. If only to get a good grasp on why I spend most of my writing time blogging and reviewing as opposed to creative fiction.

The Cup – It’s not about bras, or their contents, sadly. It is about a drinking cup, which is adorable. And speaking of adorable, look at 18-year-old me! He’s pretty hot! And young. Oh, how I wish I could be so young and carefree again…

Hachiemon – I really don’t know how to explain this one. There’s a huge language and cultural gap separating me and the understanding of this game. But I like the article! It kind of makes me want to go back and actually play Hachiemon. At least for a couple levels.

I Hate Socks – Sho ’nuff.

The Ramen Fiasco – It’s hardly a fiasco, but I have a soft spot for any articles I’d written about food. This one is short, but I think it chronicles my cooking prowess pretty well. On an interesting side note, said cooking skills have not developed at all in the 5 years since I wrote this!

I’d stare a lifetime into your eyes

So the other day I went out on my lunch break and bought a bucket of peach rings candy from Wal-Mart. It’s not that I really love peach rings that much or anything, I just needed some candy, and that seemed the most appealing at the time. Also it was like two bucks, so how could I refuse? I ate a few, went back to work, and left them sitting in the car.

Now, this summer’s been pretty crappy, and most of our days have been cold, rainy, windy, or any combination of those three. So of course when I got home and settled into my room and I realized I’d left the peach rings in the car, I wasn’t worried. I’d just take them in tomorrow after work. Of course, I forgot they were there in the morning, and they sat in the backseat all day long. And that was the day the sun came out to shine.

The little bastards melted something fierce, creating a horrible gelatinous peach blob. I was disappointed at first, but quickly discovered that the blob was not only still edible, but it also made a great plaything! The blob was unexpectedly smooth and soft, but it was also sticky as hell, as evidenced by the fact that if I put in my finger, then lifted it out, the whole bucket would lift with it, then slowly stretch back down. See!

Yeah. Sticky. And there’s really not much else to say about that. I showed a close-up picture to people (without telling them what it was) and they were totally grossed out, thinking it was some kind of gore. Then I said it was just candy and they were only slightly less disgusted. I ended up eating most of what was in the bucket, but it hardened back up pretty quickly and it became much harder to tear chunks off. So I’m out a couple peach rings, but I think the entertainment value was still worth the two dollar price. Also an easy blog post!

I suppose I should also mention that I’m going to Canmore again for the next week, so no blogging until Saturday at the earliest. Not that I’ve been keeping up very well over the last couple weeks though… Whatever.

It’s been no bed of roses

Because there were a total of four – count them, four – blog posts between January and March, I updated the news archive with a “1st Quarter 2010” page instead of one for each month. It’s quite sad. I used to love this blog… Oh well. Check this out! Crazy adventure time!

I never used to get sick, but since about November or something I’ve barely been able to go two weeks without contracting a cold or worse, and as a result, I’ve been drinking a lot of tea. Supposed to soothe the aches and throat and whatnot. It works okay at best, but I’ve actually grown quite fond of the stuff, and because my parents have a unexpectedly large collection of different teas, I’ve been able to be pretty adventurous with it too.

Now, brewing tea is pretty easy, and the process of selecting which flavour I’ll be drinking each night is left mostly up to sticking my hand in the baggie they are contained in and picking one at random. I’ve had all sorts of fun stuff, from exotic-sounding things like “Jasmine and Herbs” and “Moroccan Mint” to more mainstream selections like raspberry and english breakfast. When the situation calls for it, I’ll usually even add a glop of honey, as it’s supposed to help with the soothing of sore throats. Today though, I’ll be adding something a little more unusual.

Oh yes, that’s right. I’m gonna put Kool-Aid in my tea.

If you’re not familiar with Kool-Aid singles, they’re little packets that you pour into a glass or water bottle, instantly creating a single serving of Kool-Aid, removing the need for both sugar and a pitcher. This one is strawberry-Kiwi flavoured. They work really well, providing a possibly even stronger taste than traditional Kool-Aid, and given the fact that the orange tea has a pretty strong flavour itself, I’m a little apprehensive about how these are going to taste when they mix. I predict badly.

Once I poured the Kool-Aid packet in, the tea instantly turned a swampy brown, but when it all settled, it turned a much more appealing orange. I took this as a good sign. It smelled exactly like the Kool-Aid would if it had been on its own, another good sign. After letting the tea cool down a bit (because I’m a big pussy and can’t take the heat), I took my first sip, and was very surprisd. Initially it tasted just like strawberry-kiwi Kool-Aid, but after a while the orange taste broke through, creating an awesome evolving taste.

There’s really not much else to say. Both flavours stood out on their own somehow, and didn’t make an awful monstery taste like I’d predicted. I’m very satisfied with these results, and am anxious to try it out with other flavours of tea. Hopefully this is a universal trait of tea, and it’s not just this particular brand of teas that can withstand melding flavous with the Kool-Aid.

Love me like you’re gonna die

So things are getting better around here. I think I’ve finally got Torrential Equilibrium back to where it was pre-crash. Not that I’d been adding much lately, but the archive of old stuff is still all there for you to browse. I’ll take this opportunity to point out some of my personal favourite articles for you, in case you’re newish and need somewhere to start. Me, I just like going back to some of the better ones and appreciating how much love I used to put into this site. Maybe they’re not the most eloquent or best written articles, but they all hold a special place in my heart for one reason or another.

Nintendo Surprise – Unbeknownst to us at the time, this would start a long-running chain of surprise bag articles. Also, it’s summertime and I’m getting all nostalgic about that particular summer, like I always do.

Animal Crossing – It’s not really new games journalism, per se, but it is an article about a game that isn’t a true review. More of a short story written with the help of a video game. Oh fuck, I wrote a fanfic and didn’t even realize it.

World’s biggest McDonald’s – Maybe this is outdated now, but it was the biggest in 2004. And it had both an F-Zero arcade machine and a Bill Cosby standee. I hope it hasn’t changed a bit.

Dick Turtle surprise bag – Dick turtle is kind of a celebrity here at TE. I know I scour every dollar store I see in hopes of one day meeting him again. The day I do will be commemorated with a parade and fireworks. And cheerleaders.

Mickey’s Ultimate Challenge – I honestly believe this is one of the best articles on the site. It’s not often that I’m proud of my work, but I think this one is really great.

Makin’ pancakes with Shadowman – Another one I really love. There are lots of food-related articles on the site, and this is the standout one for me. Mostly because it was something I could just have fun and be creative with, as opposed to the others which were mostly reviews with lots of fluff.

Chat Radio – Of all my featurettes, Chat Radio is my favourite. It’s too bad that it can sometimes be boring and hard to understand. It’s the format’s fault. I really hope to do another one soon. That or get with the times and make a podcast.

So actually, looking back through the archives, there’s a lot of stuff in there that I really like. Almost wish I had more drive to create more crazy stuff like this. It’s just a shame I don’t do anything out of the ordinary anymore. I can only justify so many game reviews in a row. Anyway, back to my point, consider this “Ryan’s favourite articles Part 1” because I’m definitely gonna have to point out more, but all in one blog post seems excessive. Maybe next week or something. Oh! And now I have an even better idea! But I’ll keep it a secret for now…

TE’s Bargain Shop Adventure!

So I was in Lac du Bonnet the other weekend. Not something that’s going to be happening all that often in years to come, even though it used to be a trip the family made many times a year. Me and the girlfriend went to see the Canada Day fireworks display (which had been rained out in July and postponed to August 1st), and it just so happened that her uncle runs the Subway down there, so her whole family was there too.

Before hitting Lac du Bonnet itself, I decided to take her around the surrounding area and show her some places I used to frequent, like the cottage that used to belong to my grandparents, and the legendary Pinawa Burger Boat. It was a long morning/afternoon of adventuring, and we finally headed to Lac du Bonnet and made camp at the Subway. There were still many hours to kill before the fireworks began, so we had to busy ourselves in town. Reading her Cosmo and playing CrossworDS (guess who was doing which) only lasted so long, and we were forced to explore the small town to eat up the rest of our day.

Fortunately, that meant doing my absolute favourite Lac du Bonnet activity: scouring The Bargain Shop for interesting goodies. There’s also a dollar store that’s so generic that I can’t even remember what it’s called, but ever since my brothers and I were tots, I’ve loved prowling that The Bargain Shop. It even moved across the street into a bigger building a few years ago, making room for even more crazy crap. I bought a whole bag full of stuff that day, and all for less than $15! Let’s take a look-see, shall we?

Probably the last thing in the store to catch my eye (the first being shitty Transformers clones with absolutely horrid grammar on the box, sorry for the lack of pictures), but easily the best thing I bought were the Butterfinger Buzzes. They were three for two bucks, and my curiosity was piqued by the allegations that it contained as much caffeine as the leading energy drink, so I dove right in. It bears mentioning that the woman is currently addicted to/dependent on energy drinks, so it was easy to convince her to take one. I like Butterfingers, but I’m not a glutton.

Now, a Butterfinger is pretty good on its own, and the promise that it’s brimming with caffeine is even more enticing, but I was a little turned off by what I found when I opened the wrapper. For whatever reason, “loaded with caffeine” is apparently synonymous with “dyed an unnervingly bright red”. I guess it’s just that I was used to the golden Butterfinger, but the insides of these bars were bright, bright red. Possibly dyed with the blood of a thousand neon children.

In the end though, it was just a Butterfinger. Flamboyant colouring aside, it tasted perfectly normal, and despite promises of giving me the caffeine rush of a lifetime (I ate two!), I felt no more energetic after consuming them. Overall, I’m not disappointed though, because they were cheap and as I’ve stated at least twice by now, I like Butterfingers.

What I’ve never cared for, however, are Hot Tamales. Not sure why, but they just never caught on with me. I love cinnamon hearts, so it’s not the flavour or anything like that. Maybe the chewiness doesn’t mesh with the cinnamon in my head for some reason. Maybe I just don’t see the point of getting a box of Hot Tamales when you could get the far superior Mike and Ikes that are always right beside them. I may never know.

What I did know, however, is that I absolutely had to get the box of Hot Tamales Ice. It makes no sense! It’s so wonderful!

So as you can see from that box shot up there, these are minty flavoured instead of cinnamon, and as far as I’m concerned, are much more enticing. They give off that same cool aura as spearmint leaves, but have the smooth, pill-like texture of Hot Tamales. I don’t know if it was just an old box or that Icy Tamales are naturally hard, but these ones in particular were a bit tougher than your garden variety Hot Tamales/Mike and Ikes. This problem was circumvented when I left the box in my hot car one day and they became soft and more like their forebears.

On the note of this possibly being an old box, I could find no mention of the Ice Tamales on the official website, however it did show me that they’re producing a product that opposes the Ice Tamales even more than the original: Hot Tamales Fire. It is now my lifelong quest to find the Fire version. And then procure another box of the Ice, so that I may put Fire and Ice on display together as my most prized possessions. Sadly, this requires at the very least, a three-hour trip back to Lac du Bonnet. I guess I can just hope that they’re still there next year.

As an end note, I’m still a firm believer that Tropical Typhoon Mike and Ikes are the best of this candy family.

And speaking of tropical things, look at what we’ve got here! It should be known that I’m also a huge fan of Dots, even moreso since I’ve learned that Wal-Mart carries big ol’ boxes of ’em and I don’t have to wait for Halloween for my Dots fix. Even then it was a gamble. Dots always topped my Halloween candy wishlist, even though they’re not even close to being the best candy. You were always guaranteed to get a king’s ransom in Reese peanut butter cups and Tootsie Pops, but Dots, Dots were the rare candy that always made my Halloween.

The Tropical Dots, however, are not my friend anymore. I gave them the benefit of the doubt at first, as they come from good stock, but then I ate one. They come in five flavours, all listed in the image above, and none of them are any good. They all taste vaguely similar, and kinda waxy. The Wild Mango and Paradise Punch stand the best chance of being deemed “acceptable at best”, but I really couldn’t give a rat’s ass about what happens to the rest of them. Very, very disappointed here. I’m talking last-episode-of-Seinfeld disappointed.

Also, there’s a math puzzle of some kind on the back of the box. Boo, Tropical Dots! Not only do you taste bland, but you also use your box activity to attack my weak point! Massive damage! I hate Tropical Dots.

To add an extra level of woe to my already melancholy situation, I purchased two boxes of these chewy little abortions in my excitement of seeing a new brand of Dots. Eating two boxes of Tropical Dots does not make one a happy camper. I really hate Tropical Dots.

These suckers are less interesting than most of the other stuff I picked up, and in fact you can easily find them at most dollar shops or Zellers. Usually as a feature item, because they’re two for a buck. These really only made their way into the bag of swag because the girlfriend is totally nuts over suckers. And why shouldn’t she get a good tongue workout? Oh yeah. I went there.

The nice thing about them is that there are a ton of flavours, and most of them are awesome. Root Beer and Banana Split, which I have pictured here, are my favourites. Cherry Cheesecake and -strangely enough- Grape are also worthy competitors. There’s even some kind of margarita flavour, so there’s really something for everyone. I should also mention that they are incredibly tasty and much bigger than the average sucker, so you’re getting a great value with these little guys. If you see a stand next time you’re picking up cheap greeting cards, don’t hesitate to buy a couple.

This big ol’ lolly is both more and less interesting than the previously showcased suckers. It’s more interesting because look at all the colours! Whoo! they swirl so brightly! Also it’s much bigger. But the real amazement lies on the backside of this lollipop…

BAM! It came with a toy! For a dollar!

Yeah, I know it’s the cheapest-ass toy ever made, but still! Little motorcycle dude will reside in my room for possibly weeks or months to come, until I finally get too annoyed with his poor construction. It’s too bad, because despite his small stature and cheap build and training wheels, I really like Moto Dude.

The real tragedy here is actually that big lollipop itself. I’ve had many lollies like this one, in different shapes and sizes, with different colour patterns, and different characters emblazoned on them, but I’ve never had one like this. Not even close. This was hands-down the worst lolly I’ve ever had the displeasure of having in my mouth. Initially it had no taste at all, so I figured it was some kind of shitty coating that caused the lack of flavour, so I sucked some more, and eventually it just started to taste like plastic. The colours weren’t running at all despite the mass amounts of saliva being slathered upon it. I couldn’t even bite the damn thing. I’m beginning to think it was just a prop lollipop packed in as an easy way for whoever made this to sell their shitty little Moto Dudes.

Sadly, I’ve got to be one of the very few suckers ever to fall for it. Pardon the half-pun.

Okay, now this can’t possibly disappoint me, right? A sucker version of a Kinder Surprise? This has gotta be awesome.

But just one thing bothers me; how exactly did they get the toy and giant chup in that egg? Certainly the toy must be held in an egg within the chup, just like a fruity version of a Kinder Surprise. Yeah, that’s gotta be it.

What!? It’s just a regular sized chupa with the stupid toy taking up the rest of the space inside that humongous egg? I’m outraged! Mostly.

On the upside, the Chupa Chup is a sucker that you know you can depend on. They will always be good, as they always have, even if they aren’t bloated to an unbelievable size, as the packaging had led me to believe. Seriously, I only bought this because I thought I was getting a ginormous chupa with a toy encased within. If I had known it was a regular chup, I probably wouldn’t have been nearly as excited about it.

To dishearten me even further, the toy included inside was not at all the pencil topper that the various images on the package had promised. I mean, it’s a robot cat, which is cool and all, but Robo-Cat does not top pencils. He doesn’t even try. He just rolls back and forth whilst bobbing his head. Despite the fact that my fat sausage fingers weren’t nearly dexterous enough to assemble Robo-Cat without an hour-long fight, I’ve become quite attached to the little guy. He now sits atop my Wii with Moto Dude. I give them about a week before my dog eats one of them, having caught the scent of facetious suckers on them. I do not relish the thought of having to hold a tiny funeral for the tiny, unfortunate soul.

And that’s what I got. It may seem like I got taken to the cleaners for spending just under $15 on this mostly disappointing junk, but you’ve gotta remember that that comes out to over 130 words per dollar, so it more than evens out on a penny-to-word ratio. If I hadn’t written this completely pointless article, then the only thing I’d have had to walk away with was the enjoyment I got from the few candies that were good. Also a Robo-Cat. And that’s more than enough to satisfy me. Case closed.

TE Hits the Road: Fargo ’09

Hi all! Yeah, it’s yet another article about the once-again yearly trip I take down to Fargo/Grand Forks. I say once-again because there was a stretch in there for a few years where we didn’t go at all, but for the last three years, it’s been an essential part of summer. The only difference is that now, instead of going down with my family, it’s me and the woman. There are pros and cons for both parties, but I don’t really care who I go with. The Fargo/Grand Forks trip is the only summer staple I still have left, so I’m holding onto it as tight as I can.

That aside, I’ve decided that this year I’m just going to mash up all the pictures I took instead of trying to do anything more inspired with them. No categories, no long-winded stories, no character commentary. Nope. Just going to put them on the page and make some quick notes where I deem necessary.

Also there are tons of pictures,. Enjoy 😉

This is a cake. This is what Stephanie and I ate for breakfast. Actually I had a bowl of Reese Puffs cereal beforehand because she was taking a really long time to get to my house. But yeah, cake for breakfast. Woo!

We struck a deal before we left that she would drive there, and I would drive home. I wasn’t told until we’d arrived at the hotel, but apparently I had been voted to drive everywhere while we were in Fargo.

GPS. Lifesaver.

I bought a huge jawbreaker on a stick at the Duty-Free. It’s been ages since I’d had one of these bad boys, and I felt it was absolutely necessary. My mission was to finish it by the time we got home. I did one better and finished it before we were even back in Canada. The passport is there for scale.

She opted for the jawbreaker’s smaller cousin, the cherry Jelly Belly sucker.

I think I might have had a better chance of getting in here when I used to come down with my family. The girlfriend seems wholly opposed to entering a restaurant so garishly decorated. But we went to TGI Friday’s, so I don’t know. Maybe she’s got a fear of aliens?

I feel it’s important to mention that I used that baby pool to its full extent.

Our facilities. This is the most interesting photo ever.

Aah! Too much sunlight!

“Take one of me on the couch!”

“Now take one of me on the bed!”

See? TGI Friday’s. Hard on the eyes though it my be, no trip to the United States is complete without a stop in either here or Chili’s. I wish Canadian chains or those that extended into Canada knew how to make such wonderful fries.

Dear God! Six years with this camera and still I take blurry pictures! I’m a horribly lazy photographer.

So good.

Also awesome, but far less new to me.

For years, I’ve refused to believe that this DVD exists. Well ,outside Amazon, anyway. But I found it! I really found it! Now I can’t say Hot Topic never did anything for me.

More crap I bought. Teenage Zombies was ten bucks, and the rest I consider to be things absolutely essential for me to own. I was hunting Friday the 13th and American Dad Vol 4, but Ghostbusters Vol 1 came out of nowhere and made me the happiest girl in the world.

Like the trip to Fargo itself, no summer is complete without a small tub of Americone Dream.

TGI Friday’s was having a two-for-one burger day, and I had ordered a burger for dinner, so they gave me this second one to take home. I ate it that night and forcefully regretted eating two giant cheese-slathered burgers in one night. A task a younger me would ahve faced with aplomb.

The main dresser on our first morning. It’s covered in crap we bought and other such things. The Playstation 2 is there because I hate overpaying for movies I don’t really want to watch and every time I bring my DVD player I forget the remote.

Seriously. You’d think I would know how to take a not-blurry picture by now.

I usually grab a jug of Hawaiian puch on my southernly adventures, only this time I picked the “light” version. Trying to watch those calories…

West Acres mall. It’s huge, and wonderful. It’s probably the best mall ever. It’s not a lot better than Winnipeg’s biggest mall, but I only get to go there like once a year and I don’t get bored of it. Also I looooove Mrs. Fields’ cookies.

We went to the Lone Star Texas Grill on our second night. We’d never been there, but were pleasantly surprised. The steak I had was excellent (especially since I hadn’t had a steak for several weeks at that point), and there was a pail of peanuts on the table to keep me busy while we were waiting for the food to come.

That evening we ventured over into downtown Fargo, and on our way back, we ended up accidentally driving through some sort of classic car show-off night. Don’t know for sure what was going down, but we took a bunch of pictures.

I used the Fargo onion to determine that we were going the right way on the way back into the hotel/shopping part of the city.

I guess it’s just out of habit that I keep taking pictures of the Fargo TRU. We didn’t go in this year, but it looked just as sad as ever on the outside.

All packed up! I don’t subscribe to Nintendo Power anymore, but I felt like picking up an issue for old time’s sake. This one was the perfect candidate, because the only things I really want to read about are the new Mario & Luigi game and Wii Sports Resort.

This is how many towels we used over the course of two days.

I’m going to miss that wonderful continental breakfast buffet. It’s really the highlight of all my best hotel stays.

On our way home we stopped in Grand Forks to investigate the Columbia Mall among other shops. It’s just as boring as ever, if not moreso because they don’t even have the cookie place in the food court anymore.

Evidence that she does eat.

There was a completely random mailbox on the side of the road nearl Kohl’s. I felt that I should capture its soul incase it disappears between now and next year.

This makeup is all blurry! Let’s go somewhere else.

I bought these movies at Best Buy. Zombie Strippers is pretty hilarious, Zombie Diaries was disturbing, and Trailer Park of Terror-though I expected the most from it-was merely okay.

No, I did not buy Friady the 13th twice. I don’t know how it got into this picture. On the other hand, Jason X was five bucks and was the last missing piece in my collection, and the Elm Street four-pack was $10 and completed its own collection. Mallrats I couldn’t understand why I didn’t already own.

We hit Rock 30 games on the second night, and I picked these up there. I have no idea why in God’s name I had sold Donkey Kong, as it is one of the greatest original Game Boy games ever, and FF8 I own on PC, but would rather play through my PS2. I will not say how much I paid for either of these items. I will say that one was just a little more expensive than it should have been, and the other was hideously overpriced. I’ll let you come to your own conclusions.

And that’s pretty much it. Following in the general spirit of this “article”, I really don’t have much more to wrap up with, so I’ll leave it at that.

~FIN