Band of the Month – September ’04

Yes, it’s that time again. Time for me to take a band and review it! Only, this time I kinda misjudged how much time I actually have to do it, so this one is probably going to be a little short and typo-filled. But in light of that little oopsie, the show must go on.

September’s BotM is one of my favorite (and apparently not too well-known) rock n’ roll bands,  Firehouse. While most hair/rock n’ roll bands were having their best times in the 80’s, Firehouse started up (or at least released their first album) in the 90’s. Probably right after the tides of pop culture had shifted, and this could be why they aren’t quite as popular as say, Poison. Actually, I don’t really have any idea exactly how popular or whatnot they were, but nobody I know personally has ever heard of them, so I can only assume that they’ve spend most of their career just under the big time radar. Nevertheless, they’ve released a grand total of 6 albums, one hits collection and one live performance disc, spanning all the way from 1990 to 2003. Not bad, I say.

While I’ve never been able to track down any of these discs (and looking at the track lists, I know I’d pick up at least one or two), I have listened to a lot of their stuff, and I’ll just make various assumptions about some of the CDs. The first one, a self-titled debut (which seems like a rather common way to name a debut), is all-around pretty awesome. It’s got a lot of their best stuff, like “All She Wrote” and “Shake & Tumble”. Also in this little bundle of joy is “Oughta Be a Law”, which at first listen I thought was Motley Crue. Possibly my favorite song on the CD too. And then down near the end is without a doubt their best slow song “Love of a Lifetime”. The next release was Hold Your Fire, and I’ve only heard one song from it, “When I Look Into Your Eyes”, which is pretty good, but if I based it alone versus any of the songs off Firehouse, it really wouldn’t hold a candle the the first disc.

Next up comes 3. Short, appropriate, and to the point. Not generally what you look for in an album title, but it works well. Again, I’ve heard very little music from this disc, and I can’t make an appropriate judgement of this CD. But the few songs I have heard were pretty good, so the rest is probably along that track somewhere. Then came the hits collection, Good Acoustics. Haven’t heard every single song on this one, but it’s a hits collection. It has to be good if it’s made up of their best stuff. After that comes Category 5 which seems pretty good, if a bit out of order. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems as though slower songs work best near the end of a CD, especially with rock bands, and this one’s got a really slow song, “Dream” right in the number 4 spot. But it starts with another of my favorites, “Can’t Stop The Pain”, so I’m not going to ding any points.

And that brings us to the live CD, entitled Bring ’em Out Live. This is pretty much a second hits album, just recorded at a live show. Then we get to the twentieth century albums, O2 and Prime Time, both which I have never heard a single song from. But I have read a couple reviews of them on Amazon and the reviewers seem to think that they don’t even come close to the stuff on the first two releases, so I guess that’s all I’m able to tell you about ’em.

As a quick conclusion, I love the music. It’s really not quite up to par with some of the bigger bands of the genre, but it could fill in in a pinch. I’d love to talk about what parts of the music I like, but I really have no clue what’s going on there. I’m not really licensed to review music. Anyhow, great band, and you should definitely download a couple songs to see what they’re like. And if you ever, EVER see one of their CDs in a store, you tell me. That’s an order. I guess this got a little longer than I expected, but there was quite a bit to say. And to make up for what’ll probably become a post drought (yes, this month will probably be pretty uneventful), here are some links that I fancy.

Ninja Turtles anime, reviewed – Yes, a Ninja Turtles anime. You will be 100% surprised at what goes on here. Unless you’ve seen it, of course. But still. Six pages of wacky Japanicised Ninja Turtles. I’m still in shock. And toying with the idea of squid ink pizza.

TMNT musics! – More turtles. A bit of an overdose for a normal people, but for a TMNT fanboy like myself, this is just icing on the cake that was that review. Oh, and they’re soundtracks and such from different TMNT stuff, like that live concert (which I have the original tape of!).

The Number 000 Blues – *sigh* Another webcomic. I’ve gotta stop reading new ones. It’s just too much to keep up with. This one’s a sprite comic about what goes on behind the scenes before and during the first MegaMan game. Pretty interesting for someone such as myself, probably mundane for someone such as yourself.

Spider-Man reviews crayons – If you thought the bullshit was done, here’s some more! Seriously, if anyone but Matt (except maybe -RoG- of I-Mockery) had done it, it would be stupid as hell. But somehow, it works and it’s hilarious. Must be another six pages here, but it’s mostly pictures.

The Dick Turtle Surprise Bag!

I’m sure that everyone has seen a surprise bag sometime in their life. They were a very common item in the candy section at dollar stores, and I’m sure that they’ve been other places during their lifespan as well. I know that lately the surprise bag population is starting to dwindle, as I’m seeing less and less of the things every time I visit a buck store. In fact, I haven’t seen any in town for the longest time, and the only place I’ve seen them in the last 5 or so years is at the Bargain Shop out in Lac du Bonnet. And even there they don’t restock the things.

So while we were out there this past weekend, I made it a point to go find one. Sadly, the Nintendo Surprises are totally extinct, and even the Nintendo gum packs are gone without a trace. So I had to settle with one of the lesser brands of surprise bags. I had two choices at hand, one was a pack of random “fun size” candy packs, but the bag displayed what would be in the pack, and that just totally kills the surprise. So, I went with my second, less sanitary-looking choice.

Holy crap, does that look like a poor-ass grab bag or what? Here are a few close-ups, just so you can further absorb the crap that is Dick Turtle’s Surprise Bag.


Firstly, what the hell kind of character is Dick Turtle? Aside from the obvious attempt to rip off the old Ninja Turtles (which raises further questions about how old this thing is), he doesn’t look a thing like a turtle. Who names a turtle Dick? And why would any Richard want his name to be shortened to Dick. You have Rich and Rick, two perfectly good nicknames. But Dick? Come on. Thta thing on his back doesn’t even look remotely like a shell, and instead looks more like air tanks or something of the sort.

And then we get to the bottom of the package, which has promises of cosmic candy, toys and novelty. For some reason, I think that I’m going to be disappointed with what’s inside. I mean with a package like the one above, how good could the contents possibly be? And what are the chances that they’ll be “cosmic”? Why does Dick Turtle have rockets for feet? Since when did turtles need or even want to go to space? At least that kind of supplies reasoning for saying that the stuff inside will be “cosmic”. Turtles are nature’s D student (according to Stewie, anyway), so there’s no way that NASA would accept them. He must be working for those greasy Russians.

The back side isn’t much better. It’s just got Dick Turtle in his usual pose and a list of ingredients. The biggest problem with it is that it’s supposed to contain various crap, and they’ve gone ahead and given a list of ingredients. I guess that most candy is pretty similar in composition, but I’m sure that not all of it is made with the exact same substances. Also on the back is a small note that says “Minimum: candy 20G – 1 toy”. Well that just fills me with hope for what’s going to be in here. I guess it’s time to take a gander inside.

Is this a warning not to take anything that’s inside this bag? I certainly don’t know Dick Turtle, or who put this compilation of what is probably going to be crap together, so I should probably just toss it all out right now. I wonder if Dick Turtle thinks that accepting advice from strangers is okay? But… Wait a minute! Something is wrong right here! It seems that
Dick Turtle may not be exactly who we once thought him to be!

A ha! I knew taking candy and toys from him would be a bad idea. Dick Turtle is actually a space pirate! That slick bastard thought he could sell his crap by taking off his shell and eyepatch and putting on a happy face, but now I’ve seen the real Dick Turtle, and I’m not going to fall for any more of his trickery! But seriously, who the hell made this? Their character has no continuity whatsoever except for that he remains the same species. And I never quite believed that he was really a turtle in the first place. Let’s just hope the rest of this bag o’ crap is as good for reviewing as the bag itself.

On the opposite side of Dick’s advice card is a small maze that I definitely don’t have the attention span to complete. In fact, I don’t have the attention span to write a whole paragraph about it.

The first thing that I grabbed from the bag after that card was this little piece of candy. As you can read on the wrapper, it’s a “Yolk um’s” candy. I have never heard of this candy before, and therefore am surprised. There you go, Dick Turtle. Your bag was a complete success. You surprised me. It says that it’s cream filled, and it doesn’t look like the type of thing that should be cream filled, so I’m not going to eat it. I’ve eaten many a cream filled object, and I’m sure that this one will be a let-down, since I’ve only ever seen its kind in a Dick Turtle surprise bag. Of course, it could be a really popular candy that I’ve never heard of, but I’m better off safe than sorry.

Next up is… a shitty piece of plastic shaped vaguely like vampire fangs. I don’t think any one could review this, so I’ll just take a picture instead.

It was a good movie. I know my representation is a little inaccurate, but I wanted to make the reference. Anyhow, the teeth had a strange taste to them, and I now have a strange rash on the inside of my top lip. I guess this is one of those times where you have to suffer for your art. I should probably have dusted off the hat first, too.

You see, there was an alien head ring and a small toy hockey player, and there was no way I could review them both separately, so I forced the ring on to hockey guy’s head. On the upside, the alien ring was certainly of a “cosmic” air, so the bag wasn’t totally wrong. On the downside, I was feeling the bag before I opened it up to try to tell what was inside, and that hockey guy felt a lot like one of those awesome mini-ninjas. I was so disappointed when I learned the truth.

And the last thing in the bag is… A coffin? Could this be an omen of things that will happen should I eat the rattling stuff inside? Hmmm. Now that I examine the coffin more closely, I can see that there is something written on the top. Just gotta take off the sticker and…

Oh God! It says Mr. Bones! It’s gonna be full of crappy pizza! Augh!

That’s all I’ve got. Sorry.

Inside the coffin was a bunch of candy pieces. And they were some kind of old-looking. They were supposed to be coloured all rainbow-like, but they were also covered in a thick, white dust. I assume it was simply sugar, but you can never bee to careful when dealing with possibly-decades-old candy. There was one really cool thing about them though.

The pieces were all shaped like bones and such, and could be pieced together to form skeletons. I didn’t have quite enough pieces, and they crumbled to dust at the touch, but I did arrange them as if they had been locked together into proper shapes. Well, as proper as you can get when putting small candy bones together. I wasn’t going to eat these things either, because they didn’t even bear the telltale smell of candy, and I wasn’t about to put any other foreign objects in my mouth after the fangs.

That’s all that came in the bag, and I can’t say I’m impressed. Surprised, but not impressed. The candy was old looking and probably poisoned, and the “toys” were boring and common. I still wish I hadn’t put those fangs in my mouth. I’m also pretty pissed at how they totally changed their mascot halfway through the bag. But I guess that it’s not exactly made for people like myself. It really is more of a children’s novelty. In the end though, it made some great review material. There really wasn’t a lot to review though, so I thought I’d add in a little bonus material.


It’s not much, but I was making a bunch of characters on my brother’s “Smackdown: Shut Your mouth” game this weekend. It’s not only a great way to while away the time, but it also satiates my need to create. I made a lot of them and decided that since I did pretty good jobs on the ones based on real characters, I wanted to show them off a little. So I took some screencaps and here they are. Make sure to click on the pics to see some more stuff.

You see? I’m good at making stuff. The only one I’m not totally happy with is Vivi, because I wasn’t sure exactly how he looks, so I kind of had to make it up as I went. Overall, though, I’m very happy with how well I think they all turned out. The article here was a little shorter than I’d hoped, but I didn’t have that much material to work with. I can’t just ramble on forever about five pieces of crap and a plastic bag like I can with a game. Oh well, no biggie.

In the end, I’m just really happy that I’ve made it to 1000 hits. I thought 500 was pretty damn big. And the fact that the site is almost two years old is just the icing on the cake. I never really figured that I’d care about the site longer than a couple of months (just look at Quest for the Cube), but I’ve made it a lot farther than most personal web sites do, and I’ve even had some people who don’t know me e-mail me with compliments. Hah, I guess this December, I’ll have to throw some kind of celebration event. But that’s something to think about another day.

A call to drivers and rockers

On a happy note, new article! But that’s not all that I have to go on about today. Plenty of whining, good news and bad news will now ensue.

Nintendo Fusion Tour? Damn, I need to go! Featuring Story of the Year, Lost Prophets and My Chemical Romance? Damn I need to go! Three other decent bands? Oh why can’t I go? Only the closest they’re going to get to me is Minneapolis and Toronto… My birthday is soon and tickets are 20 bucks. Somebody take me! OK, the money I can handle, but I’d still need a ride and someone to go with, and that’s where other people come into play. Right now it don’t really matter who. I just wanna go! Having no car/license and girlfriend sucks every once in a while.

In other news, I might very well be going to see Van Halen when they come here in October. I’ll be going with my dad and brother, but it’s freaking Van Halen. They are the band that got me into rock n’ roll. It’s just something I have to do as a man and a rocker.

Better news yet, the X-Box that’s been dirtying up the house has been sold! Huzzah! As soon as we get rid of these Windows-based computers, the house will be Microsoft free!

Bad news, I’m out of mini bagels. This isn’t really relevant to anything, but I loved those little things.

I know there was something else I was supposed to be mentioning about now… Ah yes, Wolf Pack Productions, my favorite anime subbing group, has teamed up with Planet MegaMan to provide torrents for several entire MegaMan soundtracks. Awesome opportunity, and a wise use of your bandwidth. You know I have them all already.

That’s about all that I needed to get out of my system today. Now if you don’t mind, I haven’t played Tales of Symphonia for like a week and it’s really starting to bug me. Ryan, away!!

In the nick of time!

GorillaMask.net has gone through a major change. It’s been totally revamped, and you probably wouldn’t recognize it at a glance. And to think that I stole the site layout for myself just more than a month ago. That certainly was close. I guess this means that I’m not directly copying anyone anymore? Oh well.

There is more than that little note afoot, however. Two things, to be exact. Firstly, and it’ll be more important to my friends than anyone who’s stumbled across the site and has kept reading for whatever reason, I’m going to stop drawing new Spare! comics. As much as I loved doing it, I’ve realized that this comic endeavour is more of a big joke than anything else. Ever since I started reading Penny Arcade I’ve wanted to write my own webcomic. Reading Real Life made me consider starting a new site devoted to the comic, but there are two major obstacles in my way:

1) My source material is gone. With no more school to attend (for the moment), I’ve got nothing to write comics about. Sure, I could try to make some up on my own, but looking back at the fictional ones that I’ve already done, they’re some of the weakest ones there (bar the “imaginary girlfriend” saga, I really like those ones) and I’m just not good at writing funny. If someone would like to write for me, that would be excellent, but out of the people I know, and no offense to you guys, we’d need a whole team of writers to get anything done.

2) No webspace. Yes, I have a few options, but none of them sit quite right with me. Making another site on Angelfire is not something I want to do. Hell, I can’t wait to find an alternative for this one. I hate having to rely on free providers. A friend’s webspace? No. That way, I lose a lot of immediate control. And I wouldn’t be able to put up spur-of-the-moment stuff like this. It just wouldn’t be right. I could make my hard drive into a web server thing, but then my site would be a number, and people are less likely to remember a number than a name (not that “Torrential Equilibrium” is easy to spell either…). Someday, I’ll buy space and a domain name, but as it stands, that won’t be happening soon.

So as it stands, the comic is dead. I’ve begun the slow and painful process of Painticizing them, but that’s not looking too bright as an option. Nobody would respect a webcomic done in Paint. I’m probably gonna get a scanner for/around my birthday, so I’ll at least have them all up for viewage in a month or so.

Now, onto the other thing I needed to rant about. Damn, I went on so long about the comic that I’ve forgotten. Well, I’ll just leave this then. My brothers and I have all decided to forsake our Christmas presents this year, and will instead be getting a new computer (hopefully) sometime in November or early December. Yes, it’s a long time away still, but I’m pretty pumped. Obviously, there aren’t any ideas on the table yet in regards to specs or manufacturer, but it’ll certainly be able to run Doom 3, so I think that “the shit” is a pretty good ballpark description. Personally, I’m most looking forward to the possibly huge (looking at 200+ GB) hard drive. Living with ~10 (considering space for other users) gigabytes of storage space is very hard these days, what with current games taking anywhere between 500MBs and 6GBs each. Now that I’ve let out enough geek for the day, I think I’ll go do something productive, like mowing the lawn. Yeah right.

Ah, Hell. Now I remember. Planet MegaMan is currently offering MP3s of the entire soundtrack to RockMan X Command Mission. A pretty good bunch of tunes, if I do say so. Not quite as great as the original NES games’ tracks, but enough to tide me over until the game is released over here in the West. Go and download them now if you want ’em, as they probably won’t be up there long.

My brother is an asshole

REDACTED

(07/16/2021 – I’m all about preserving my writing history as a reminder of what a butthead I was in the past, but it’s okay for some things to be lost to time. This is one of them. But hey, at least there were some links included so this post isn’t completely deleted. Try clicking to see if any of them still go somewhere!)

Peasant’s Quest – This game looks freaking amazing. I really, really hope they’re not just screwing with our heads about this one. Though it does seem to be too good to be true.

New Weebl and Bob toon – Actually, it was new a couple days ago, but you can’t possibly expect me to stay on top of everything. The difference between me and other sites that feature cool daily-ish stuff is that I don’t have readers e-mailing me about cool stuff.

GISH? The Hell…? – New game review is up on I-Mockery, compete with an interview, Photoshop contest and a free demo dowload. Hoo-ray!

Disney World Day One: Highways From Hell

I guess I can say a lot for myself. I’ve been to Disney World twice before I reached the 18th year of my life. It’s a lot more than most people can say about the same topic, even if there are a few who’ve been there more. Other than that, though, I haven’t really accomplished much. But this isn’t about how I’ve done nothing noteworthy with my life up until now, it’s about my second trip to Disney World. So I guess I’d better start on THAT then.

It all started way back in January, when I caught wind that my aunt and uncle (who had taken me on my first visit to the Disney World) were going to take my brothers there in April, since they hadn’t been on the first trip. My parents were feeling bad for me, so they decided that they’d spring to send me if I saved a couple hundred bucks and pitched in. With an offer like that, there was no way to refuse. Only I had no steady income, so I was lucky to have a nice little nest egg saved away. But that wasn’t enough, and I still owe my parents a little coinage. Nothing big though, I’ll just work it off like one of those cartoon characters who forgets their wallet when they go to a restaurant and has to clean dishes to pay the bill.

So about a month later we went over to their house, where my bros were informed of the good news. Only there was a surprise twist for everyone. Instead of my aunt and uncle taking the four of us, they were just going to let my parents go instead! So now the whole family (except me… how did that happen?) gets a free trip to Orlando, Florida to bask in the sun and experience the wonder that is Disney World. I guess there’s something to be said for having siblings. For my mom having siblings, anyway. Rich siblings.

Fast forward two months. We spend the whole weekend doing a whole bunch of random crap, and completely neglect the fact that we need to prepare to go on vacation for a week. So Monday rolls around and we start toying with the idea of packing. Tuesday comes, and everyone is packing all evening and night. I carefully pack more than enough clothes to last me the week, not adding in the washing machine factor. My suitcase is almost stuffed, and this will become a key factor near the end, so remember that. Nobody really gets any sleep, and before anyone realizes it, it’s three o’ clock Wednesday morning, and we have to be at the airport by 4:30

We’re totally packed, confident that we have everything, and are waiting for our rides. Both sets of my grandparents came to take us to the airport since there are so many of us and so much luggage to go along. Now, it’s about 3:15, and my parents expect that we’re barely going to make it. Problem is, they forgot to factor in the lack of traffic in the middle of the night. So I’m perfectly confident that we’ll be on time. It might have been my keen intuition, it might have been the lack of sleep, but I wasn’t nearly as in a rush as everyone else. So I took a picture of myself just before I stepped out the door. And because I was the main photographer, this is one of the very few pictures with me in it.

Ugh… My neck seems to have rolled horribly. Oh well. It’s not like that’s how it is all the time. Keeping on track, I hopped in the van and popped on my shades. My grandpa remarked that it was too early to be taking flash pictures, and nobody commented on the sunglasses at night thing, because that’s the kind of thing I do. My family knows me well enough to not bother asking questions when I do something strange. So as I so cockily predicted, we made it to the airport with ample time to spare. Enough time, in fact, to enjoy a Tim Horton’s coffee. Well, the coffee drinkers did, that is. Me, I just complained that we had to wait half an hour. And it was only going to get worse from there.

We unpacked all the stuffs and moved them inside. After waiting in line for a good half hour, we waved bye bye to the grandparents and moved onto the customs. Now I’m pretty sure that all those people who claim that customs is really harsh are all exaggerating, if just a little bit. All I had to do was put all my crap in a bucket so they could scan it. Then we sat around and waited for the plane to get ready. This took another half hour at least. Finally, we were aboard the plane. And waiting. Again. Only a short wait this time, and after the captain gave the OK, I busied myself in my GameBoy for the flight.

There were two major problems with this flight. One, was that my brothers had never been on a plane before, so they got dibbs on the window seats. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but watching out the window of a plane is strangely entrancing. Secondly, due to the stupid part of the population who have allergies (or was it idiots who choked on them? I’m not sure), I received no airplane peanuts. Instead, I was offered a granola bar and orange juice, which I grudgingly accepted, cause I’d had no breakfast. The granola bar was so-so, but whatever kind of orange juice they’re serving, it must be squeezed from the oranges of Eden, cause it was the best freaking OJ I’d ever tasted. After 45 minutes or so of playing Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow, the captain said to turn off electronics and we landed.

Our first stop was the Minneapolis airport, where we would transfer onto our flight to Orlando. Since we had 2 whole hours to waste, we stopped in at one of the local McDonald’ses. I’ve gotten tired of hotcakes over the years, so I did something completely out of character and got m’self a McGriddle. Now I’ve read the review on X-E, and I know you can see yourself getting unhealthier as you eat it, but I wanted one, dagnabbit. I tried the eggs and bacon variety, and for someone who doesn’t like eggs, I thought it was pretty damn good. Also noteworthy was a sign for the McRib, which instantly reminded me of the “Ribwich” episode of the Simpsons. And if you think a whole paragraph about an airport McDonald’s is bad, just you wait. There’s a big surprise in the near future.

After that, we wandered the monstrously huge airport in hopes that we’d make it to our gate before takeoff. Yes, the Minneapolis airport is that huge. We did make it, and with a good hour to spare too. Fortunately for us, I have a special ability that lets me figure out where I need to go by reading signs that tell me which way to go. So we sat down, I played more Castlevania while listening to some sweet OC Remix tunes, and the time ticked by. It was getting boring, so we formed two groups; one which would sit and wait due to laziness, and one which would adventure in search of cool stuff to look at and/or buy. Surprisingly, I was in the latter.

So we walked down one hall, and then realized that there was nothing interesting to be seen in an airport other than the excess of “The Daily News” stores and went back to sit down. On the way back, I was distracted by a vending machine that had on display two types of bagged potato product: Potato Skins and Fritos. Now I’ve heard of Fritos, and they might be from the same guys who make Lays, and that was even more mind boggling, because there were Lays in the machine as well. I had no change on me, so I wasn’t able to find out. I guess it’ll be a mystery to me forever. As for the Potato Skins, I don’t know what’s going on there, but the bag says “T.G.I. Friday’s”, so I’ll just assume the worst.

Eventually we got on the plane and started to fly away. This time, I got the window seat, as evidenced by the picture above. If you’ve never seen the top of clouds, there you go. Look remarkably like the bottoms of clouds, don’t they? Anywho, this flight was going to be about three hours long. It was a good thing that I brought a lot of stuff to do. I popped on the ol’ headphones and booted up the GameBoy Advance SP. Things were good until I got to Death (still playing AoS, of course). Now he wasn’t much of a pain in Normal mode, but on Hard, he gives you quite a bit of trouble. So that got annoying and I gave up.

The “flight attendant” came around eventually, and offered not a granola bar, but a bag of pretzels. These were a bit closer to peanuts, but still not the same. It would have been okay had they been good pretzels, but I’ll let you in on a little secret: airline pretzels suck. And that’s all there is to it. The OJ was the same as on the prior flight, and I enjoyed it muchly. Now you may be wondering why exactly I took a picture of my “lunch”. Well, on the first trip to Disney World, I took several pictures of my food, and it had turned into a running in-joke with my family. So of course, before I left, I was reminded on several occasions to take pictures of my food. Sadly, this is one of only two I remembered to snap.

After I had become bored with Castlevania, I moved onto MegaMan Battle Network 2, and did a little bit of NetBattling with my brother. See, there are these secret battle chips hidden in the game, and the only way to get them is to play against a friend. And of course, to make it a bit harder, they show up randomly. That’s the bad part. We played over 100 battles and only managed to get four out of ten of these secret chips. BN3 had the same problem, but there was only one secret chip per version. And I’m delighted to hear that BN4 supposedly has none of these horrible things. On the upside, that did waste about an hour and a half, so it wasted a good amount of time.

Now I’m convinced that we were riding in some sort of Transformer, mostly because it’s a funny thought, but also because the wings kept changing shape. Now I know that they do that for a reason, but it’s a lot funnier if I pretend that I don’t. Just look at this shot compared to that other wing shot and tell me that there is no huge difference. …Ah, this is really a waste. It’s not nearly as funny in writing as it is in person.

After the lengthy GameBoy session, we cleared the bunch of clouds, and I watched the scenery go by as we slowly got closer to our destination. There are a lot of things that you can see from up in the sky, and one of those just happened to be a building shaped like and S! And not just any S at that. Specifically, it is shaped much like the S in the Metroid symbol. I thought this to be odd and worthy of writing about, so I took a picture of it and circled it in red because without the circle it’s kinda hard to see. Take it as you will, but I think that it’s some sort of conspiracy. Conspiracy of what? I don’t know, that’s why it’s a conspiracy.

After a short nap and some more window-watching, the plane finally arrived. We got out and were astounded by what we had to travel to get to our baggage. See, the Orlando Airport is divided into two buildings; one where you board and get off the planes, and one where you enter/leave the place, pick up your rental vehicle, and deposit/claim baggage. These buildings are amply far away from each other, and to travel between them, you get to ride a monorail. And it’s not just any monorail. It looks like it came straight out of some futuristic movie or something. That’s about it. If you failed to be impressed, you need to see it to get the full effect. Really cool monorail.

So we rode that, picked up our luggage, and went to pick up our vehicle. Only problem was, out of all the vehicle rental dealies, we got the one with the longest line. Talk about getting the shaft. So after about another half hour, we were finally on our way to our hotel.

This in itself proved to be an even bigger problem. Something had gone askew and neither my mom nor dad could figure out where we were supposed to go, even though they had two maps, one specifically printed off the internet to tell us where to go. After we’d finally collected our bearings and figured out where we were (this took almost an hour), we scanned the map to find out where our hotel was. Now there were two possibilities; either our hotel was the only one not on the map, or we were headed somewhere that didn’t actually exist. To our relief, we found the place after driving all over town all day. And what a town it was. There was so much crap there that you could be there a month and not see everything. As I was already aware, the same would apply to Disney World itself.

This is where we stayed, the Marriott Residence Inn. It was a nice place, and it seemed to be relatively new as well. Trust me when I say that this picture doesn’t show even half the place. The place had everything I could ask for; free breakfast buffet, an arcade room, full cable TV, and an internet-ready PC. I know I didn’t make any posts during the trip despite having the tools to do so, and I can justify that. Every time I went to try to get on the PC, there were some stupid teenage girls IMing it up, even though there was a framed sign right next to the thing that said, and I quote “For business purposes only. No chatting, please.” As useful as it is, I hate instant messaging. It just causes me to have less access to computers. Scratch that, I hate kids who use computers only for chatting, as they are most likely morons who know little more than how to use their P2P and IM programs, and don’t deserve to be allowed to use computers.

 

Here are the pictures of the room that we stayed in, which is actually five rooms. One main room, with kitchen and lounge areas, two bedrooms, and two bathrooms. This is quite possibly the fanciest place I’ve ever stayed, so I was impressed to say the least. I, of course, stayed on the couch-bed. I always choose the couch-bed over one of the real beds. Why? I can’t explain it, but I prefer the humbleness of it all. Oh, and there were three TVs, one in each main room, so everyone could watch what they wanted all weekend. My brothers’ was seemingly stuck on MTV, because I don’t think it ever changed. My parents did their thing, with the reality crap, and me, well I was captivated by a lot of the fancy American channels.

For most of the week, my tube was set to the Cartoon Network or the WB, and changing only to watch a little hockey and Big Daddy, which, if you haven’t seen it, is a great movie. For the first couple days though, it was set to this one channel which was constantly looping this one promo for Disney World about the seven best attractions there. Now why would I watch this channel endlessly when I have trouble making it through a half-hour sitcom? Simple answer there: hot host. Seriously. It’s not exactly the most dignified reason, but it’s the only reason I watched the thing even once.

Ooh! Here’s a good one. Check that out! It’s a silver and green fire hydrant, and not some kind of prop either. All of the hydrants were these funky colours. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m always amazed by fire hydrants painted colours different than red and black/yellow. The red hydrant is the stereotype, and stuff like that is always constant. Why do places change the world-known colours? It’s just crazy, that’s what it is.

By the time we were ready to get a move on, it was already seven or later, so we didn’t have a whole lot of time to adventure, but there were two must-see stops on our short first-day tour of Orlando. The first we had previously seen on the food channel: the world’s biggest McDonald’s. I told you it was only going to get worse. And it gets even worse than that, too. This place was HUGE. I’m sure everyone’s been to a Chuck-E-Cheese sometime in their life. Well this place was at least twice as big. It had 2 floors, tons of games, play areas, and decorations, and the most shocking part was that along side the regular McD’s fare was real food. Gourmet crap, pizza, real sandwiches, seafood, salads, and even a dessert bar with waffle cones! This place had EVERYTHING.

In fact, it was so big that I’m going to write a full article about it. It was probably the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen, and I was ready to go home afterwards. It was like a whole vacation spot in itself. Let me say this, if you ever go to the States for a trip and you don’t know where to go, head straight to Orlando and check this place out. It will absolutely blow your mind. But enough gabbing on about how great the place was, I was damn hungry by that time. I usually have an equal of four meals a day, and I had had less than one during this whole day, so I needed a big meal. Four double cheeseburgers with super-sized fries and drink hit the spot in a way I didn’t think McDonald’s could. The only repercussions were that the pipes were blocked up for three or four days afterwards.

On the way out, I picked up a cone of the ice cream variety and we started out to our second location: the legendary 24-hour Wal-Mart. And we were lucky that it was open 24 hours, cause it was at least nine by the time we left. Finding it wasn’t too much trouble, since we got some advice from some friendly locals and were on our way in no time.

As you can see, we did get there, even though everyone who we told about it said we’d not have enough time to make it there. Oh we made it there alright, and at least two other times during the week as well. We’re just one of those families who will eat at McDonald’s twice in a day and find time to visit Wal-Mart three times while on a weeklong vacation to Disney World. Now is when you get to feel a lot better about your own family, unless they would do the same.

But this Wal-Mart wasn’t only just open 24 hours a day, it was also a Super Wal-Mart. It was huge in comparaison to any other Wal-Mart I’d ever seen, even that one Bizzarro Wal-Mart (That was on a completely different adventure. I fell asleep while in the van on a trip to hockey one day, and woke up to enter a Wal-Mart that was the exact opposite of the local store.). So of course, it had a hell of a lot more crap in it, but it also had an entire grocery store in it. The only thing wrong with it was that the electronics section was shamefully small and poorly stocked. It was less than half the size or my local Wal-Mart’s electronics section, and just slightly bigger than most Electronics Boutiques (That I’ve seen, anyway).

After stocking up on root beer, juice, foreign cereals, and various other foodstuffs, we left the giant store and headed home for the night. All in all, it had been quite a day, and it was still only the first of eight. We all knew that it was going to be a very busy and fun week, and that we had plenty of walking and a lot more waiting ahead of us. At least the weather down in Florida is a lot better than it is up here in crusty old Winnipeg. And the scenery too, the grass was a brilliant shade of green, the palm trees were everywhere, and most notably, there were eye-catching monuments of buildings everywhere. Among the most notable of those buildings were an upside-down museum thing, a huge inverted metal pyramid (the Hard Rock Vault), and one big freaking shoe on top of a closed-down sporting goods store.

After we got home, I ate some more, watched a little TV, audited my pictures and went to sleep after a rousing round of Ms. Pac-Man. So ends my tale for now, but be sure to tune in for part two of this extraordinary adventure, where we make our first stop at the Magic Kingdom, visit Wal-Mart for the second time, and discover a giant outlet mall where dreams come true.

Tequila!

Today I did that mini-review, since there’s nothing else to do at 8AM on a Sunday. Sure I’m posting it a lot later, but hey, these things take a while to write. And now that that’s done, it’s almost time for MegaMan NT Warrior! You may not think it’s that hot, but you know how I’m a huge MegaMan fanboy. So now that I’ve done what I promised, it’s time to kick back, watch cartoons, and then maybe play some Wind Waker. I might even take a nap. Yeah.. that sounds good… Later.

~Ryan out.

The Christmas Gift List of 2003

It’s that time of year again, Christmas time. Or more accurately, it was that time of year again. The event itself is long done, but the season still lingers and won’t be gone until sometime around the time when school starts again. Our happy little holiday has come and gone, but like every year before, it has left its mark on pretty much everyone. As much as I hate to admit it, Christmas is celebrated by pretty much everyone and anyone, except the Jews. And I’m pretty sure they get a little of the spirit anyway, what with it being everywhere. Christmas is no longer a special holiday for us good little Christians, but an event for everyone. While that’s probably for the best, it seems a little unfair. But I’m not writing an essay on the commercialization of Christmas, so I’ll shut up about that before I really offend anyone.

Cartoon characters argue about it all the time, and I’m not exactly sure of it, but I think Christmas is about giving, getting, love, the birth of Christ, and delicious baked goods all at the same time. I mean why not get a little bit of all the good stuff? Why settle for one meaning when you can have 5? It just makes sense. Today I’m gonna be focusing more on the getting side. In the wrong context, that sounds kinda dirty. As I did for Easter and my birthday, I’m going to be doing a rundown of every gift and treat that I got this Christmas. Unlike the former two, this one is gonna be divided into 2 pages. Why? Because I can.

The first page (this one, for those of you who are a little slower) will show off the stocking stuffers and all the gifts that I got from people that don’t live in my house. After all that is through, you’ll find a link taking you to page 2. There, you can see all the stuff I got from my parents, my brothers, and the legendary Santa Claus (minus the stocking crap). Also, I’ll show a couple things that were addressed to the family rather than exclusively to myself. Then it’ll be done and I’ll provide a link to the Articles board in my message boards where you can discuss all sorts of crazy crap. Then comes my sig and e-mail address and then you’ll have to find something else to read. So let’s get started already!

Actually, on one last note, the pics are a little bit lower quality than usual because my webcam software doesn’t get along with Windows 2000, so just bear with it for now until I find a proper substitute.


As I stated in that long and unnecessary intro, we’ll start with the stocking stuffin’s and then move on to gifts from grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. One little note before I start, not everything got immortalized in a picture, some stuff (mostly money) couldn’t be present at the time so I had to do without. Of course, I’ll make mention of the gift and who it came from, just for the sake of completeness. So, here’s my stocking:

As you can see (if you look close enough), it has been stuffed to the point where it’s become misshapen and somewhat pointy. I myself hadn’t really rooted through it before I took the pics, I was waiting to get a picture of it before I was tempted to eat the delectable goodies that were sure to lurk inside. And lurk they certainly did. Let’s dump it out and see what’s inside.

Ah, quite the pile of mess I’ve made. That’s the second thing I’ve typed that sounds really wrong without the proper context. While we can clearly make out a few things in the pile, I feel some strange need to arrange it neatly and take another picture so that you can tell what everything is without a detailed description. At this point I can see that it’s not quite as full of exciting stuff like it has been in past years, but the candy haul looks decent, so I’m happy.

Ok, time for a list. In this bag we have:

  • A stuffed novelty Dallas Cowboys football. My dad was jealous until he got his.
  • A chocolate Santa on a stick. Clearly came from the same mold as the chocolate Easter Bunny on a stick.
  • Circular Candy Cane. So many C’s, none of them worth it. O_o
  • A gift certificate for some book store. I was far too disinterested to know which one or how much it’s worth.
  • Box of 5 CD-Rs. I guess half a box is better than none. Though I still have 13 left over from the birthday.
  • Net full of chocolate Santas. Also mysteriously shaped like the Easter Bunny chocolates.
  • Gift card for Blockbuster. This could be useful when I need to rent video games, unlock my door or pretend I have an important person keycard.
  • A stick of deodorant. Not my preferred brand, but it’ll do.
  • 5-pak of Tic-Tacs. That rhymed. Sweet.
  • Many, many Life Savers. All in a small, festive, book-like box
  • Mini-milk carton with the Cat in the Hat on it. I hate that cat. Apparently, the carton is filled with Whoppers. Anybody want some Whoppers?
  • Finally, a box of Hot Tamales. The cream of the crop? Yes.

I usually don’t do lists, especially unordered lists, but it’s a special occasion. I think that in the end I made out pretty good on the candy front. I ended up with a box of Hot Tamales and a ton of Tic-Tacs. Those could have been the only things in the stocking and I’d have been fine. The Candy Cane thing is a good entry, but I frown upon the Whoppers. CD-R’s are nice to have, but I’ve got a ton already. And the money substitutes will no doubt come in handy sooner or later. I don’t buy books until I have a gift certificate, so it’s time for me to do some reading! So now that that’s covered, I’ll move on to the presents. Mmmm presents.

Wouldn’t you know it, I just got out of a veritable grab bag and stumbled into a second. My grandparents always send a bag of useful-type stuff, littered with other less-useful fun things. This one came with deodorant (more Mitchum? Dammit! I told everyone I like Brut!), plenty of hair gel (it just hit me now that the blue bottle actually came in the stocking…), dental floss, gum, free golf, movie money, a scarf (which hadn’t left my neck until I took the pics), and some mittens. There was also a pair of boxers and some socks, but they were in the washing machine while I was taking the pics. I also got a new hockey stick, which is sadly enough in the same state as my old one; brand new. Not the absolute greatest stuff, but damned if I won’t appreciate getting it all.

One of my uncles gave me fifty bucks. It came in a nice card which is now sitting on one of the many tables in my living room. My aunt and uncle who live way in Ontario sent a card with another forty dollars enclosed. It has also found a home somewhere in the living room among all the other cards. The money wasn’t able to show up because I didn’t feel like finding my wallet. It always gets lost in my room. Perhaps I should look for it? Nah. When I need it, it’ll find me. That’s what wallets do.

Next up is the stuff from my other set of grandparents. The dark mass on the left is a new pair of jeans. They fit suspiciously well for new jeans. The only other jeans that have fit so well are jeans that have been worn in, but these had the tags and everything, so they certainly aren’t second-hand. Up on top is Big Shiny Tunes 8. I’ve been complaining that ever since 5, they’ve just been getting crappier each year, but I can’t complain with this one. It’s not too bad for a bunch of bands I never heard of. I still don’t like Linkin Park or Simple Plan, but “Get Loose” by The Salads makes it all worth it. If you haven’t heard the song, go listen to it now. Absolute best song from a band named after food ever. EVER.

And if you can’t make out the title, the big block on the right is a Shmuzzle Puzzle. Never heard of ‘em? Well nor had I until I saw it on TV, and then I knew I had to have it. It’s only 160-some pieces, but they’re all shaped the exact same! And they fit together in like a billion ways, so I assume that it’s gonna be quite the challenge to get this bad boy done. The box even says it’s a twin threat to my sanity. But I love puzzles and threats to my sanity, so I know I’ll enjoy doing it.

From another of my aunt and uncles, I got this little treasure; Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga. If you liked Super Mario RPG, you’ll more than likely enjoy this one. If you liked Paper Mario too, you’ll definitely love this. It’s the perfect cross between the two, and I absolutely love it. There isn’t a single thing I can’t say a good thing about in this game. The story is great, the dialogue is hilarious, the graphics and sound are spot-on, and it’s about 20 hours for an expert (good time for a GameBoy RPG). Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, it’s fun too. The battle system is very interactive and you can’t really take your eyes off the action like in most RPGs. I love it. Plus, it’s got the Mario Bros.game I get hooked on so easily and finally, an unofficial two-player option for those with a GameCube and a GameBoy Player.

From my cousin, another Big Shiny CD. Big Shiny 90’s this time. Mucho better than the other one, because it’s got music that’s closer to my preferred music era. Not only that, but it’s 2 CDs! Talk about your sweet deals. The not sweet deal is that it’s Volume 2, and I don’t have any volume 1 to speak of so I guess I’ll have to go searching for that now. It’s still a great compilation and I highly recommend it. From the fragments of commercial I can pick out of my memory I think the first one was better, but as it stands, I like this one just fine.

I’m not quite at 2000 words yet, but it’s time for me to make the move into the next page, which will be a bot longer. Oops… I’ll leave it to your imagination whether that was supposed to be “bit” or “lot”. Maybe I really did want to spell “bot”. Maybe I should quit trying to squeeze in a bunch of extra words to make the unspoken quota. Then again, most of the tags are counting as words so it’s a little inaccurate. But that don’t matter, we’ll just say I ended this page with a healthy 1900 words. Be sure to click on the link below to find out what the rest of my gifts were. If you don’t, I’ll know. And then I’ll get you for it.

[Pretend there’s a page break here. Years ago there actually was one!]

I guess the best place for me to start off is where I left off. Now that you’ve seen all that various crap, it’s time for a lot more crap! Only this crap came from my parents, siblings, and there are even a few presents from me in there somewhere. And to top it all off are a few gifts that were addressed to the whole family rather than just for me. I know I’ve told you this before but I thought I’d remind you, and I just didn’t feel right starting with a picture.

Every year for my birthday and Christmas, my dad gets me some sort of tool. I think it’s a pretty sweet deal, because I use them a lot. Maybe not for what they’re meant for, but I use them a lot. This year I got my very first wrench set. Now that’s great and all, but I asked for a saw (again) and it never came. Why I can’t have a saw is beyond me, but frankly I’m pretty disappointed. I love the wrenches and all, but they just aren’t a saw. Oh well, there’s always next year.

Everybody should know that I adore the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. If you don’t you do now. Sadly, I only got one action figure for Christmas, but it’s no big deal, I can just go buy the rest. I’ve already got all the figures from series 1, and Skatin’ Raph here is my first from series 2. Overall, it’s not that much different from the normal Raphael, except for the skates, his clothes, and the fact that his legs are stuck in a much more comfortable looking position. The skates themselves are quite large, but they work pretty well and ensure that he doesn’t fall over. My only complaint is that they didn’t paint as much detail on the actual figure as they did on the figure on the box. It’s really not a big deal, but I feel a bit cheated.

My brother, on the other hand, got pretty much all of the ones he needed. Ironically, I think the only one that he’s missing is Skatin’ Raph. I’m quite jealous because I’ve been a Turtles fan for so much longer than him, and if it wasn’t for me, he probably wouldn’t even know about them. I think the jealousy is mostly rooted in the fact that he has the Casey Jones figure and I don’t, but I have him one-upped in other ways that are soon to follow…

Back to the real world for a second, I’ll take a look at my CD’s. I haven’t been listening to Styx for a long time, but I really like the music, so I asked for the greatest hits and here it is. It’s a great CD, despite only having 11 songs, and I’m even listening to it as I type this. There is one song I don’t really like on it, but it’s not something I can’t learn to live with. After all, if I can tolerate the Three Days Grace song on Big Shiny Tunes 8 I should be able to put up with anything a real band can throw at me. Other than what I’ve already typed, there isn’t a whole lot I can say about a CD.

I believe my exact word were “Not another damn puzzle”. Just kidding, I think it’s cool that now my sanity will be cumulatively threatened four times. This one might be a little easier than the water drop as it’s got lots of colours, but I haven’t tried to put it together yet so I could be horribly mistaken. These puzzles are only like 10 bucks, so I urge you to go out and get one if you often find yourself bored. Or you could get one of those bajillion-piece puzzles, but those don’t have any gimmicks, so they can’t possibly be any good.

Just to diversify my gifts a bit, my mom decided that it would be good idea to get me a couple books. Only problem is that these books aren’t really books. Sure they’ve got words in them and all, but they’re mostly just for novelty’s sake. I mean, who actually reads through everything in the Guinness world record books? I’ll make it a point to be the first to do the feat and then I’ll get into the next one. I’m just curious if it came from the future, because it’s the 2004 book and there hasn’t been a whole lot of 2004 to make records in. That and it looks kinda futurey. The high point is that I found a new crustacean to top the most wanted pets list: the Japanese spider crab. Though I’d need a pool to keep it in because its leg span is over 2 meters long.

Now the Mario & Luigi player’s guide. I don’t really need it, but I can honestly say that it has come in handy. I also like to just read guides as well. Don’t ask me why, because I couldn’t tell you. Just ever since I got the guide for Final Fantasy 8 I’ve been getting them mostly just to read. We all know that you don’t need a guide for a side-scroller, but I got the guide for Viewtiful Joe because I like to read them, it was Viewtiful Joe goods, and it was 20% off. That’s like 2 bucks off right there. Greatest deal ever.

I got the second season DVD set of Friends for my 16th birthday, and I wanted the first and third this Christmas, but my mom was only able to find the third. I guess I’ll have to go hunting for it by myself eventually. Not a whole lot to say, but it’s got one of my favorite episodes on it, The One Where Nobody’s Ready. If you don’t recognize the title, it’s the episode where Joey puts on all of Chandler’s clothes at once. The special features aren’t very appetizing, but I like commentary so I’m happy. Oh yes, we got a DVD player a while ago, so I no longer have to use the PS2 or X-Block to watch stuff. Yay!

I told you I’m a Turtles fan and I wasn’t lying. I wanted Turtles DVD’s, and I got one set. Only once again, it’s the third in the set, and my brother got the first. Obviously my mother is not aware of my preference of getting things in order. Not only that, but my brother wrecked the plastic covering of his while trying to open in so now the cover is taped on very, very badly. Not that if affects me, but I hate to see something so precious abused in such a way. Seriously, if you saw it, you’d hit him too.

Now it’s time to set foot into the restaurant of video games and check out the real delicacies of the annual serving of gifts. Our appetizer, MegaMan Zero 2 is by far one of the hardest games of this generation. When I read the reviews I thought “Bah, they’re just babies, it couldn’t possibly be that hard” and I thought I was right, because they said the first game was hard and it wasn’t too bad. But when I popped this sucker in I got my ass handed to me. Getting killed in the intro stage generally means the game is hard or you suck, and I’m pretty confident that I don’t suck. But after some practice, I’ve been able to make it halfway through. My final opinion: I love it. We need more games like this. Capcom, I salute you.

Our side salad is, of course, the TMNT GameBoy game. Unlike MMZ2, it’s not unbearably difficult, but it does offer it’s own challenges. Easy mode is quite simple, but once you get to Normal, you start thinking that maybe you got more than you asked for. And it’s fun too. It’s like the old arcade/NES games, except it’s pure 2D and there is (very sadly) no multiplayer support. But it’s still an above-par game. There is a password feature, but it doesn’t unlock anything worth being there. The other problem is that they chopped up the cartoon’s intro and shoved it in there. It would have been better off without the intro, rather than with the butchered garbage that’s in there. But it’s small, and skippable so I don’t mind too much.

And now we get to the sweet, sweet main course of the bunch, the GameCube version of TMNT. Like the GBA game, it’s very similar to the old games, only it’s in true 3D. There is multiplayer support, but it only goes to 2-player. I bet if they didn’t have to put it on the PS2 as well, there would have been a proper 4-player mode. Oh well. The password system in this version is much better, as it opens plenty of things like new game modes and costumes. There is also a production art database, and being the art fiend I am, it pleases me muchly. Oh, and if all the crazy food metaphors are kind of confusing, I’ve been playing Mario & Luigi way too much, and you’ll understand if you play it.

I’ve said I’m a Queen fan in the past, and as you can see above, I got myself a little something to commemorate my last big Christmas haul. Actually, we were shopping on Boxing Day and I’ve never seen these CDs anywhere, so I did what I had to do. I imagine the reason they’re so rare is because they’re the first two Queen albums, and they were released a long time ago. Of course, they are the CDs and not the records, so they’re not the originals, but I’m not complaining. The one thing I am complaining about though, is that Queen II has a remix of the Seven Seas of Rhye, which I though was just an extended version or something, but it’s really a techo-ish dance mix which really destroys the song. Other than that, they’re awesome CDs that belong in the libraries of any 80’s rock fan.

Now we get to the family gifts. You can usually see a similar background in pictures of me that are on the site, but there’s one big difference (aside from the dog toys). The new weight bench we got is a lot better than our old piece of junk. This one’s even got a thing so we can do leg stuff as well. I may not seem like the type to be overjoyed by this kind of thing, but I am. Now all I need is some solid motivation and I’ll be in shape in no time. Ooh, it’s comfy too, so comfy in fact, that I was ready to use it as a bed one night. There was a whole bunch of (figurative) crap all over my real bed, so I just laid down. But then I got up and after some possibly amusing events I ended up sleeping on the couch.

I had taken all the pics when I remembered about getting this beauty, so I just surfed on over to Saitek’s website and stole their picture of it. It’s so much better than the old 4-button Gravis gamepad I had been forced to use for the last few years. Now I can play my ROMs in style! I would use it for other games, but we don’t really have any computer games that would benefit from using this. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, FPS games are made to be played with a keyboard and mouse or at least a Nintendo 64 controller. I wonder if I could play Tiberian Sun with it?

And that’s the whole lot of it. Every gift and goodie has been at least spoken of, and I’m ready to go and start a puzzle. Actually, to tell the truth, there is one thing I forgot to mention, and I’m sure it’ll make up for the one I missed in the birthday article…

Ho ho ho! Enjoy, ladies!


And that’s that. Sorry I couldn’t get this up closer to Christmas, I was planning to have it done by the 28th, but my PC got infected yet again and only a week after the holiday have I found time to finish up. And now that this is done, I an get to work on my English project of which I had 4 months to work on and have yet to start. It’s worth 10% of my grade so I guess I’d better get to work. I might even post some of the stuff I do for it on the site, so be sure to stay tuned.

As for the future, I stated in a recent news post that January is exam month, and not only normal exams, but provincial exams as well. They shouldn’t be too hard, as all my classes this semester are language classes, and I find that to be my forte in school, but I till have to study or something like that, so I probably won’t have a lot of time for updates. It’s going to be another November/December. If I do post anything it’s gonna be a mini-review or submissions to the gallery. Sorry about the lack of real articles, but my PC has been FUBAR so many times in the past couple months that I can’t really get anything done. Now that’s changed, and as of February I’ll be able to try a little harder.

The Top 12 Reasons to be a MegaMan Fan

Over the years, there have been many, many different video game heroes. Some have been in several games, some in only one, and some that could have an entire store dedicated exclusively to their games. Some of the most famous franchises have come from Nintendo, including Mario, Luigi, Donkey Kong, Kirby, the Pikmin, and hundreds of others. Mario alone has reached a level of familiarity with the world that more people know him than even Mickey Mouse. He’s appeared in literally hundreds of games, playing both big and small roles, even making cameo appearances in several other companies’ games. While no other video game superstar has come anywhere near the record that Mario holds, there is one who is gaining ground very rapidly.

That one character is my personal favorite, MegaMan. The little robot has starred in well over 40 games by now, and even has games named after him that he only has one or two lines in. As a single character usually has trouble getting over the 10-mark, MegaMan has been reincarnated several times, each time spawning a whole new series with a brand new plot and mountains of new secondary characters. MegaMan has been around for about 15 years now, and I know because Capcom’s been promoting the 15th anniversary for a while now. The little guy has been on almost every major game system conceived after the days of the Atari, and has seen the likes of every Nintendo system (except the Virtual Boy).

MegaMan has plenty of experience in different genres of games. His forte (Ha! Forte! You’ll get it later…) would be the side-scrolling platform game, but he’s also seen fighting games, racing games, shooting games, and has even a couple of RPGs. Not only that, but Capcom has also spliced genres and created unique games that defy any solid genre. Most notably, the infamously popular Battle Network series. But now the question is begging to be asked, “Why is MegaMan so damn popular?” That’s what I’m going to explain in today’s article. There are tons of reasons why MegaMan has persevered for so long, and these are the 12 most noteworthy points that I could think up. I’m going to assume that everyone reading this has a slight idea of what MegaMan is all about, since you should have read my MegaMan 4 article by now.


Known as RockMan Dash in Japan, the third MegaMan series may not have been the giant hit that Capcom wanted it to be, but for what it was, it did incredibly well. This series placed our blue hero in a new world, where nearly everything had been covered in water, and people got by by exploring ruins of ancient civilizations and finding treasure. Sounds a lot like what I imagine Waterworld was about. Since I never beat Legends 2 I’m not sure whether this MegaMan was a human in a “digging suit” or a robot, and I’ve never bothered to ask anyone who has.

The general public seemed to be rather disappointed with this series, as it totally changed the MegaMan universe. For one, it was a 3-D adventure game, which was way off from the norm. It also got rid of the standard type of boss enemies and just added in some new villain character and made most bosses run-of-the-mill robots. The one thing they did keep intact was MegaMan’s ability to equip new weapons, but they weren’t drawn from defeating bosses, but instead they were developed by Mega’s partner, Roll. She also changed (perhaps for the better) from a robot to a human. She the only character (aside from MegaMan) who survived into the Legend series, and only in name at that.

Aside from the fact that it wasn’t too well received by the public, the Legends series managed to go on for two games, and there was even a spin off featuring the main villain, Tron Bonne. She and MegaMan were also featured in at least one fighting game, Marvel Vs. Capcom 2. All the Legends games were Playstation exclusive until Capcom decided to port the first to the dying Nintendo 64 as MegaMan 64. To this day we haven’t heard of any new Legends games in development, and we probably won’t, even with Capcom’s tendency to drag on franchises forever. But in exchange for it, we got the Battle Network series, which is a more than suitable replacement.

This is where it all started. The original series bore to us the blue robot that the world would fall in love with almost immediately. Back in ’89, we got our first taste of MegaMan, and apparently it went over pretty well, because the original series managed to be carried over into over 20 games. Most of them adhere to the MegaMan rule of selecting bosses and completing the level in the standard run and gun format. Some were a little more original, such as titles like MegaMan’s Soccer and Super Adventure RockMan (RockMan is MegaMan’s Japanese name), which were totally different than what the casual Mega-fan would be used to, but still retained the charm of the more common titles.

The bulk of this series is the basis of almost every MegaMan game. The game starts with an evil mastermind, Dr. Wily, plotting world dominance, and MegaMan goes in to save the day. Before he can confront and capture the demented doctor, he has to go through eight robot masters, each with their own stage. After defeating an enemy robot, MegaMan acquires his special ability, which can be used to exploit the weakness of another robot. This formula is the most used for the MegaMan games, and only differs when the genre of the game changes. It may seem repetitive and boring, but considering the number of sequels, it obviously works.

Behind every great hero is a cast of loveable sidekicks and other secondary characters. In every series of MegaMan games, there are plenty of supporting characters. Some good, some evil, some still on the fence. There are no characters who survive the transition to every series, but Roll comes close, and appears in three of them, only absent from the X series. Roll is MegaMan’s sister robot in the original, his partner in the Legends series, and his possible romantic interest in the Battle Network series. Appearing in only the original games is Dr. Light, the good doctor who created MegaMan, Roll, and countless other robots. MegaMan’s first rival, ProtoMan, appears in both the Battle Network and original series. He acts as MegaMan’s brother in the original, and as a true rival in the Battle Network games. While his personality changes only slightly, he drops the gun arm from the original games and uses slick sword attacks in Battle Network.

Zero is one of the most loved MegaMan X characters. At first he played a small part, but as the sequels were made, he took the steps to become a star in his own rights. He’s even got two of his own games, MegaMan Zero and (obviously) MegaMan Zero 2, which could debatably fit into their own category. Like the battle Network ProtoMan, Zero uses a sword as his main attack and only uses a buster in a couple occasions. Zero’s allegiance is clearly with the good guys, but he was designed by the main villain from the original series, Dr. Wily. Wily managed to reappear as the main villain in the battle Network games as well, and leads the crime syndicate World Three. In the X series, the big bad guy is a robot named Sigma, who keeps coming back to life due to some strange virus that was passed to him by Zero. As for the Legends baddies, MegaMan encounters a family of pirates called the Bonnes, consisting of leader Teisel Bonne, tech wizard Tron Bonne, baby Bon Bonne, and a whole lot of little Lego look-alike ServBots.

As for the Battle Network co-stars, there are far too many to list, as the series is mostly an RPG. The biggest one would be Lan Hikari, who is more the main star of the game than a supporting character. He is MegaMan.EXE’s operator, and you’ll play as him almost as much as you will MegaMan. Other characters include Lan’s friends, Mayl, Dex, and Yai, his dad, who created MegaMan.EXE, and MegaMan’s Navi friends, GutsMan, Roll, and Glyde. Seeing as almost every enemy Navi in the game has an operator, that easily doubles the amount of characters in the game, and every game boasts about eight different Navis (some are independent though), meaning that there are at least 6 new characters introduced in each game. And that doesn’t even scratch the surface of how many characters are in the games.

MegaMan’s robotic animal friends are almost exclusive to the original series of games, and there are plenty of them. The most popular is the cyber canine, Rush. The little red robo-pooch could transform into many things that helped MegaMan, including a spring, a spaceship, a motorbike, and a submarine. In a couple games, MegaMan could even combine with Rush to create the Super Armor, which allowed MegaMan to fly for short distances. Rush appears in almost every original MegaMan game, either as an active ally, or just a side character. Rush is technically in the Battle Network series, but only in the anime version. He was a Popup virus that could call other viruses to aid if one of the Navis needed help.

Rush’s feline counterpart, Tango, was MegaMan’s aid in a couple of the blue robot’s GameBoy adventures, providing a special attack power or something like that. I never actually played the game(s) with Tango in it/them. Beat the bird was a great help in the later games of the original series, he would help MegaMan out of bottomless pits, and he might have done other stuff too, I just can’t quite remember. In Legends, MegaMan had a small monkey-like companion named Data, who could give him tips, save the game, and restore life. Data played a much bigger part in the story than any of the other animals, and he was definitely the coolest too!

If you hadn’t realized it yet, MegaMan and most of the characters are named after elements of music. MegaMan’s original name, Rock, is linked to his sister Roll, hence Rock and Roll. The animals are musically named too, with Beat, Tango, and Rush (which is either a pretty good band or some kind of music lingo). ProtoMan’s original name was BreakMan, and I know that “break” is some sort of musical term. Mega’s rival is also named in such a fashion. In English, he’s Bass and his dog is Treble. In Japanese, he’s Forte and the dog is Gospel. With all these references to music, the actual music in the games must be good, right?

Most of the music is rather upbeat techno stuff, and really helps set the adventuring mood. As the games evolve and get deeper story lines, the music also becomes more fitting, it gets dramatic if someone dies, and energetic and/or foreboding just before the final confrontations. Best of all are the actual theme songs composed just for the games. In MegaMan X6, we’re treated to a couple of great Japanese songs by Showtaro (search ‘Moonlight’ and ‘the Answer’) and a cool credits song (search ‘I.D.E.A.’). Best of all are the original theme songs for the RockMan.EXE (Battle Network) animes. At first I thought that the first show’s theme, Kaze wo Tsukinukete, was just awesome, but then RockMan.EXE Axess came around and wowed me with another kickass song, Futatsu no Mirai. Both can be found for free at RockMan.EXE Online under “music and videos”. Another great idea would be to check out the remixes of the various tunes at OverClocked Remix.

The X series was the second to be born and links directly to the original games’ storyline. At last I checked, nobody is sure whether MegaMan X is just an upgraded MegaMan or a completely different robot altogether. What we do know is that MegaMan X is much more versatile than his previous incarnation. While he still has the ability to take the weapons of defeated bosses, he can also cling to walls, dash, and collect different armours, which enhance his powers even further. Every new X game features at least one set of armor for X to collect, and the Playstation games have at least 2 each. The X games started on the SNES, then moved to the PSX and now the PS2 and GameCube, with spinoff series MegaMan X-treme on the GameBoy Colour, and an entire spinoff series, MegaMan Zero, on the GameBoy Advance.

The story of the original games continues hundreds of years into the future, when MegaMan X is found and is then used as a mold to created many new “reploids”. Eventually, they go berserk and X is charged with stopping them. Eventually he meets Sigma and destroys him, giving the illusion that the threat has subsided. But then Sigma comes back time and time again, each time twisting the plot a little more. Probably the biggest reason that the X series is so popular is because of Zero. Most people absolutely adore the red sword toting badass. The only drawback, and stupid plot advancement device, is that Zero dies four or five times total. This is why it’s either a love or hate decision with him. If you can look past his constant dying you’ll love him, if not, you’ll hate him.

The X series started strong, and kept up the pace until MegaMan X5, when new gameplay devices started appearing, changing the winning formula around until it was very different and very complicated. Not that they really made the games worse, but by the time X6 come out, it was starting to feel somewhat stale. Strangely, this never happened with the original series, and there are no signs of it happening to Battle Network either. In the future of X, however, is a completely new game, for the PS2, MegaMan X7. Only instead of reusing the side-scrolling formula, it’ll be in 3-D. At first I was worried, but now it seems like it might have been a step in the right direction. Capcom has also announced RockMan X Command Mission, which seems to be a more traditional RPG for both the PS2 and GameCube. They certainly aren’t giving up on this one.

At about 2500 words, this is getting awfully long, so I’ll quit here, and start on a fresh new page.

Pretend there’s a link to a second page here, will ya?

The best thing to do in this situation would be to pick up where I left off (as opposed to writing up a new intro for Page 2). It’s not like there are many other things that I could do. So now that you’ve seen the first six reasons why I prefer MegaMan over any other video game franchise, I guess you should continue down the line and find out what the next (and debatably more important) six reasons are. So fasten your seat belts and get ready for the rest of the ride.

As I’ve stated several times, for the most part MegaMan games are simple side-scrolling adventures. But there are plenty of other games featuring the blue bomber that break the mold. Most obviously are the Legends and Battle Network series, which take the game in two totally different directions, but are able to retain the general feel of the MegaMan series. The next most prominent genre that MegaMan has starred in is the fighting genre. He manages to appear in several Vs. Capcom games, both in the arcade and console versions. The best that I’ve actually played being the arcade version of Marvel Vs. Capcom. There really is no more satisfying super hero team-up that MegaMan and Spider-Man. Go on, try to think up a better team-up. It just can’t be done, plain and simple. There were also a couple games subtitled Power Fighters and Power Battles where one would choose from a set of heroes and battle enemy robots to defeat Dr. Wily. Never played ‘em, but they’ll be in the MegaMan Anniversary Collection released sometime in Q4 2003 or Q1 2004.

Besides fighters, MegaMan has also starred in a few sport-type games. The first, and more notable is MegaMan’s Soccer for the SNES. Back in the glory days, we didn’t get a whole lot of good soccer games. And I’m not saying this game is exception. The only thing that makes it better than other soccer games is that it stars MegaMan. Maybe I’m so harsh because I’m not a big fan of soccer. But it was great, because you could make a team of robot masters like ElecMan, BubbleMan, and even ProtoMan. What it lacked in fun, it made up for in fan appeal. Then there was the racing game, RockMan Battle & Chase, or something like that. I’m not sure if it ever hit Western shores, but I sure as Hell hadn’t heard of it until a few years ago. I don’t even know what platform it was for. You’d probably be better off with Super Mario Kart though. Finally there is . I don’t know what it is, and I’m not up to doing the research, because I’m not gonna tease myself with another game that I’ll never have the chance to play. All I know is that it was some kind of shooter.

I personally don’t have a huge crush on him like most of his other fans (I don’t swing that way…), but I thought it would be an injustice to not put him on the list. Forte is one of the greatest characters in the MegaMan universe. He is featured in both the original and Battle Network series, always a total badass. Created by Wily, the original Bass (or Forte for those of you in the know) was a tool made to destroy MegaMan, but he often rebels and does what he wants. His personal mission is simply to defeat MegaMan in battle, and he usually doesn’t stop until he’s beaten or MegaMan runs away. He was introduced in MegaMan 7, made an appearance in MegaMan 8, was a contender for both Power Battles and Power Fighters, and got a starring role in MegaMan & Bass. His robotic wolf buddy, Treble (Gospel), performed a similar function to Rush’s Super Armor, and combined with Bass to create the Treble Boost.

While his alter ego was itching for a fight with our blue hero, Battle Network’s Bass was a fearsome Navi looking to fight anyone. He’s a very shady character, appearing in all 4 installments of the game, and only in Battle Network 3 have we come to understand where he came form. But I’m not gonna spoil it for youse who haven’t played through it. Bass is a feared opponent to anyone who hasn’t played the games and haven’t found the easy ways to kill him. Still, if you weren’t going to use Program Advances (Play the games and you’ll understand), he’d be more than a challenge for even the best of players. In Network Transmisson, a hit worth 150 HP would barely even dent his life gauge. While Gospel (no name change this time) doesn’t play the same role as he did before, the two still manage to team up and create a very powerful problem for MegaMan.

MegaMan has enjoyed a nice lengthy stay in the video game universe, but his influence doesn’t end there. He’s even managed to score two different TV shows! The first one aired many years ago, long before the X series was out, so I’ll give you one chance to guess what series it was based on. The show would have been great, but it had just one problem: it was bad. Maybe not bad to the point where it was unwatchable, but even I can see that it wasn’t up to the standards of cartoons of that time. There were tons of plot holes, the cheesiest jokes and puns ever, and some very big inaccuracies (Read: ProtoMan working for Wily). Did I say one problem? I actually meant to type two. The second thing that killed the appeal was the opening song. It consisted of “Super fighting robot (da da da da) MegaMan!” Over and over and over again. Once or twice it wasn’t so bad, but after the third time it started getting real annoying. After his first try, one would imagine that Mega would be banished from TV Land. But in thinking that, one would be very wrong.

Last year, the world was overjoyed as a new MegaMan cartoon was brought to life. This time around, it was an anime, and the Japanese certainly did a better job than their American counterparts. RockMan.EXE was a huge hit in Japan, leeching off the already impressive popularity of the Battle Network games. It was so big that even us Westerners were swooning over it, downloading as many fansubbed episodes as we could and loving it. Recently, it has been dubbed and shown on a couple American channels. The only drawback is that the censors really screwed it up, changing some key elements, like character names and messing with some story elements. Changing ColoredMan to WhackoMan is apparently something that we can’t see past, and the dub hasn’t seen nearly as much success as the original Japanese episodes. I really hate how the pronounce Chaud as “Chod”. Ugh.
Oh, and there’s even a continuation of the EXE series called RockMan.EXE Axess which is just as good as the first shows.

The Battle Network series started just about 2 years ago, and already there are 8 games based on it. The series has enjoyed its extreme popularity, and shows no sign of slowing down any time soon. I own BN2, Network Transmission and 3(Blue version), and I’ve played through BN1. Battle Chip Challenge is due out sometime near the end of the year and BN4 will be out sometime next year. I can’t wait! Oh. Back to whatever I was talking about. The BN series is more like and RPG, where you walk around, talk to people and fight random battles. The catch is that the game takes place mainly on the internet. The main character is not MegaMan, but a 5th grader named Lan. In this world, everyone’s got a little thing called a Pet, which acts like a cellphone, e-mail thinger, and plenty of other stuff (ED: here in 2011, It’s called a smartphone). Inside each PET is a NetNavi, a program which is like a little friend for the operator.

Lan’s Navi is, conveniently enough, MegaMan.EXE. The general story is centered around Lan and MegaMan trying to stop the evil netcrime organizations World Three and Gospel. The game’s layout is a disguised version of the general formula. There are approximately 8 story bosses in the game, and you have to fight through their levels as the story develops. The only difference is that you have no choice in the order of which you’ll face the bosses. I should also note that (excluding NT and BCC), the battle system is very different, taking place on a 3 by 9 field rather than on the level itself. Battles can be fought with the standard MegaBuster, but it is preferable to use Battle Chips, which give MegaMan a huge assortment of attacks and abilities. The best part of these games is that they are huge. After completing the story, you’d only be done half the game, and maybe not even in BN3’s case.

Network Transmission uses the same type of Battle Chip system for fighting, but gameplay-wise, it is a closer relative to the original and X games. It’s a side-scroller all the way, and you never have to switch between Lan and MegaMan. Between levels you go to Lan’s room to play with the options, but other than that, it’s all MegaMan. The only problem with it is that it’s too short, with only about 10 levels, and 137 Battle Chips, whereas the other BN games have between 150 and 300 chips. Battle Chip Challenge, on the other hand, seems to more of a card game than an RPG or action game. I don’t have a great idea of how it plays, but I’ve gathered that it is a lot different that anything we’ve seen before. One of the pros I’ve found is that I can finally play as SharkMan! Hooray! I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what it’s all about.

One of the most obvious points of why the MegaMan games have been so successful is the plethora of enemies. In each game, there are approximately 8 boss robots. The exceptions to this rule (that I can think of at the time) are MegaMan and the Battle Network games, which feature far more than 8. In the original games, all the bosses’ names ended with -Man, some of the best being ElecMan, FireMan, and of course, SkullMan. The Battle Network bosses are mostly reincarnations of these robots, but there are plenty of original enemies like ColoredMan, DesertMan, and SharkMan. In the X games, all the enemies are based on animals and plants. These enemies include Chill Penguin, Tornado Tonion, and Commander Dragonfly. The only games without similar boss patterns are the Legends games, which have more generic robots as bosses (if robots inspired by Miyazaki films could be considered “generic”). I think that’s one of the reasons that they weren’t so popular.

Somehow, all of the MegaMan characters were able to inherit some kind of ability from the many robots. MegaMan, X and newcomer Axl all had the power to absorb the powers of any bosses they were able to defeat. Just like Kirby. Zero couldn’t really take the bosses’ powers, but he did learn special sword techniques in their stead. MegaMan.EXE didn’t absorb powers either, but if he was able to delete the boss Navis quickly enough, he could obtain their Navi BattleChips and use their powers that way, although they were used more like summons from normal RPGs than regular attacks.

The greatest part about the bosses is that they’re all rather likeable despite their allegiance to evil. A lot of the time, you’ll probably find yourself saying “Wow, ShadowMan is so cool, I really wish I didn’t have to kill him” or something along those lines. The only one I have a problem with is BrightMan. He’s always been a bit of an asshole, even as a NetNavi. Him and his damn “Lighto-beams”. That about concludes this portion. I really need better ideas for transition phrases.

The number one reason that I am so loyal to MegaMan is because… he’s a robot! OK, that’s not really the best reason, but it is one of the 12 reasons, and I’ve already done the other 11. Sure it may seem weak in comparison to some of my other points, but damned if I don’t think it’s a great way to end this. Now I think we can all agree that robots are pretty much the coolest thing ever. And MegaMan has all the makings of a kickass robot. He’s got the helmet, the giant feet, the gun-arm, the booster shoes, and the happy demeanor. Sure, he changes a bit from series to series, but in the end he’s always the little blue robot who fights for good. The rest of the point really sums itself up, and I feel I don’t need to write any more paragraphs about this particular point. Just rest assured that robots rule and MegaMan is the greatest of them all.

I said I didn’t need another paragraph, but after rethinking it a little bit, I think that maybe I don’t like MegaMan so much because he’s a robot with a gun-arm, but just because he’s MegaMan. Just look at the little guy, look at his versatility, look at how many games he’s been in. This guy has a number of starring roles that rival even Mario’s count. And the fact that he’s made it this far without getting stale is a good enough reason to like any character. Well, that’s my mama! …It didn’t work for Peter Griffin, and it didn’t work for me. Oh well. That’s the end. Read the conclusion and bye bye.


So there you have it folks, that’s why I think MegaMan is the coolest thing since sliced bagels. Which, by the way, are far superior to sliced bread. (Yeah I said it!!) Some of my points might not have been as influential to you as they seem to me but it’s all about my opinion, so technically it’s all right.

It’s funny how long this actually took to write. Seeing as it’s two pages, the actual writing process took about 3 days, but I was able to span it out over about 3 months. The main reason (which you probably know) is that Paint didn’t work and then my PC got fried by a virus (several times). But now that all is well and good I’ve been able to finish the conclusion and get the pictures done too. Sorry it took so long, but we’re slaves to circumstance. Now that it is done, I can finally move onto other normal projects, not just Mini-Reviews and other text-only stuffs. And with that little note, I leave you and head for my next assignment, which probably won’t be as long, but will most likely be more entertaining.