Taste the steel
One thousand hearts bleeding
Errr, so have you playerd Guitar Hero III yet? It’s like… awesome.
If I have to lobby any complaints against it, I hate the fact that they dropped my two favourite characters, Pandora and Eddie Knox. I was almost ready to boycott the game for that one, but Casey Lynch has a sweet lookin’ leather getup this time around, so I’m willing to forgive. I’ll never forget though. Also, Bret Michaels isn’t in the Wii version. It makes no difference at all, it’s just one of those WTF things.
In the end, it’s all good. If anyone reads this and has the Wii version, I’m more than willing to take you on. Just send me an e-mail and we’ll set it up for me to destroy you. At “Through the Fire and the Flames”. I haven’t lost at it yet. Nobody’s even come close.
I like to rock
I should start this post by correcting the previous one. I played Ninjabread Man some more the day after I made that post, and really, once you get used to the odd controls, it works okay. It’s not nearly as horrible as I made it out to be, it’s actually kinda playabe once you get the hang of jumping. And as for the sword? Totally unnecessary! Turns out that Ninjabread Man’s throwing stars increase in power each time you kill an enemy with them, so while the first couple will take like seven billion shots to kill, eventually they get really useful. And Wiimote aiming makes it twice as convenient. In closing, I was an ass to Ninjabread Man because I got frustrated and gave up quickly. It’s still not exactly a shining example of what a video game should be, but I’ve milked four hours of play time from it, and based on my salary, that’s made it more than worth the $20 I paid for it. I can even see going back to it to complete some of the harder challenges, so yeah. I’m sorry Ninjabread Man, you don’t deserve quite as much spite as I directed toward you.
Before I get off the topic of half-assed games, I spent a little time trying to get a little farther in Rule of Rose. Being the first time I’ve sat down with the game for more than half an hour (despite the fact that I’ve had it for months now), I guess I can now form an opinion. It’s pretty good, as far as the horror bit goes. It’s every bit as tense as Silent Hill, and a good deal more disturbing, given some of the themes. Gameplay is a mixed bag. Using the dog to hunt for items works way better than in Haunting Ground, but the controls are a bit unwieldy. Not horribly so, but a pre-release tune-up would have made all the difference. In any case, it’s a freaky-ass survival horror game, and despite some badness, that’s pretty much exactly what I was looking for. Hopefully I’ll be able to finish it sooner than later so I can get started on my most recent acquision in the genre, Siren.
In other news: Guitar Hero III launch is tomorrow. This means that basically I won’t be leaving my room for ever. Online play will be more than enough to keep me rocking until I die of exhaustion or dehydration or hunger or some combination of the three.
Gas tank is filled with vengeance
Look at the box to the right of this paragraph. “Ninjabread Man”. Does this not look like the greatest game ever conceived? Conceptually, yes it is. Otherwise…
Every once in a while I see a cheap game and based solely on the title or cover art, I will buy it, regardless of whether or not it probably sucks. Usually I do okay in this department. Bad Day LA, for example, is pretty bad, but it’s still playable, and even a little funnny at times. Ninjabread man, on the other hand, is not so spectacular.
I think it’s safe to say that Ninjabread Man’s biggest fault is the Wii. Being a ported PS2 game, developer Data Design clearly just tacked on motion controls to justify the port. But that’s their downfall. This game has awful, awful controls. Game-breaking controls. Firstly, you have to jostle the nunchuk to jump, which is a really bad idea. Then you swing the remote to attack, which wouldn’t be so bad, except for it only registers your swing like 30% of the time. The worst part? They had more than two buttons left over, so why can’t I turn off the motion controls? When they work, like in Zelda, motion controls are a great thing. In Ninjabread Man, they make the game almost unplayable.
Other complaints are far less important. For one, Ninjabread Man runs far too fast, and accelerates from 0 to 100 in about one second, which takes some getting used to. Also, the camera is a little janky, but that’s hardly an issue. On the positive side of things, the entire concept of the game is hilarious and I cannot express how much I would be able to tolerate it with a regular controller. But no. If you’re looking for comical ninja action, I suppose I-Ninja is still the way to go. Or you could just play Ninja Gaiden II on the Virual Console. You won’t laugh, but it’s a kickass game.
We carry on
Imagine, if you will, a play composed and performed by retarded monkeys. That would basically be your localization of Final Fantasy Tactics. The PSP port, The War of the Lions, on the other hand, is more akin to reading Shakespeare. No, really. I expected the story to be comprehensible this time around, but the thickness of the dialect they applied is astounding (in a good way). Let’s just say the improved loacalization alone is more than enough reason to play through the game. There. If you’re not sold on the fact that now you’ll be able to tell what in God’s name is going on, then read on.
I guess the only other real addition to the game I’ve seen yet (I’m on mission five, which is about as far as I’ve ever managed to get in FFT) is the revolutionary new “cutscene” feature. It’s this thing where instead of always having the fat little sprites quibble about with their text boxes, once in a while there’s animation and voice. But seriously, the cutscenes are beautiful. The style is so very inspired, and makes me happy to be watching my game instead of playing it. Or at least makes me forget the irritation of having just sat through twenty minutes of tubby sprites gabbing at each other.
Ummm… I dunno. If I have to gripe, it’s that they didn’t add an easy mode for people like me. I can shred through killer solos in Guitar Hero, but for the life of me I cannot manage to successfully get five heavily-armed men to take out three unarmed goblins. It’s a wonderful game though, regardless of how much I suck at it. But hey, on the upside, at least the outcome of the war between Heaven and Hell won’t be resting on my shoulders.
War has been declared
For many, many years, I was quite apathetic towards driving. You might even say I didn’t really like it at all. That might help explain why it took me just over four years to get my full driver’s license. Even after I got my license, I wasn’t totally up on the idea. All that changed when I got my car. The day that I bought that car was the day I learned to enjoy driving. In fact, I’d say that buying a car was the best thing that’s happened to me all year.
And that is exactly why I’m kinda broken up that the little guy is probably going to be leaving me.
I’m going to miss my car, and I may get enough scratch to help me buy another old car, but only now do I understand why some guys really love their cars. It did a lot for me, and in the short few months we were together, we’d gone through a lot of stuff. It wasn’t just a vehicle, it was a companion in its own right. No matter how many other cars I buy in my lifetime, none will ever be the same as my Spirit.
Fuck. That’s at least two eulogies this year. I hate 2007.
Singing songs of hope
It’s all yours
Hey hey hey. Band of the Month time. And this month’s band is a little group called Letterkills. I actually wrote a reivew of their CD, The Bridge, almost two years ago now, so maybe check that out for more info on that CD. It’s also got a small paragraph detailing how I started listening to the band, so I guess I don’t need to repeat that story here either…
Ummm… That’s really their only CD, so there isn’t much more to say. They don’t seem to have a real website, and their MySpace just has songs from The Bridge. Wow. Guess I’m done here then. Recommendation is clearly implied by the fact that they’re the Band of the Month.
You’re starting to bore me
Hey! Nintendo’s giving away free Wii Remote jackets! Okay, so it’s not a lot, but free is free, right? So, you know, any Wii owners might wanna mosey on over and get some sweet free goodies. Really, I just like getting things in the mail.
In other news, it seems while September was a wonderful month in which no games I really wanted were released, October was invented solely to bleed my wallet dry. The new Zelda and Chibi-Robo games drop today. Then later on come the first PSP games I actually want in a long time, The War of the Lions and Dracula X Chronicles. Guitar Hero 3 is on the 28th, and then on Halloween comes Dementium: The Ward. I’m sure there are more, but quite frankly, I’d rather not know about them. At least things are going to cool off to near-stagnation again when the month is over though.
I didn’t get to be with you
I was out on a Slurpee/junk food run a couple weeks ago, and I noticed a rather odd little treat in the impulse candy pile on the counter. It was a small basket full of tiny little… powdered donuts? Yep. Well, maybe not so much. They looked like tiny powdered donuts, but the fact of the matter is that they were marshmallows impersonating donuts.
You know, now that I’ve finished that last paragraph, I can’t help but feel that maybe I could have done a better job scaling the little thing. I mean, a DS card is a good comparison point (everyone’s got a DS), but only now does it become so obvious that a quarter would have been the best item to use for scale. Because they cost a quarter. It would have made me look clever. The only thing Ouendan 2 does is give me geek cred.
Psychological trickery aside, it wasn’t bad. I mean, marshmallow is closer to the bottom of the list of my favourite substances to ingest, but the jelly contained within was a joyful treat that made up for the otherwise bland marshmallow exterior. If you absolutely love marshmallows and jelly, I suppose these would rock your world. Otherwise I’d say to spend your quarters on arcade machines, because they’re on the brink of extinction, and you’ve gotta savour playing Metal Slug in an arcade cabinet while you still can.