You call this a good time? I just call it a trend

Having spent a little bit more time with Wii Fit Plus, I can safely say that my first-night impressions were pretty spot-on. I’ve played all the new games now, and they range from totally rad to pretty fun. The obstacle course is the clear winner, being an adrenaline-fueled race to the end of a curiously Mario-esque course of platforms and hazards. The sonwball fight and skateboarding are pretty awesome too, and even the hip-shaking math game is a blast (particularly when watching others flail around wildly). Yeah, best $20 I spent last week.

Or, well, maybe not so much. It’s hard to say. The girlfriend and I also went to see “Zombieland” last week, and it was mind-blowingly epic. Everything about the movie was totally lovable, from the slow-motion zombie mania intro credits to the special guest cameo (who I will not spoil if you haven’t seen it yet). It was a barrel of laughs from start to finish, and it didn’t get all serious and depressing at the end like “Shaun of the Dead”. I mean, tensions did reach a height at the climax (durrr), but the laughs didn’t leave to make room for drama. They shared. And I think that’s the lesson that the movie wants to teach us. Sharing is neat.

The thing that kind of threw me off for a bit though, is that I could swear that when I saw the trailer it had Michael Cera. And then I started watching the movie and I was all like “hey, that’s a different dude!” And I’m not saying I’m disappointed or anything, because honestly I think Jesse Eisenberg did a better job than Cera would have. I’m just a bit surprised that I could confuse the two like that. They’re maybe a little similar-looking I guess, but I’m pretty sure my brain is missing and/or replacing bits of information here and there on purpose lately. Oh well.

Basicaly, what I have to say is this: go see “Zombieland”. If you like funny things, you won’t be disappointed. Unless you’re the kind of person who thought “Land of the Lost” was hilarious, in which case I’m going to punch you in the throat.

If I could do it again I’d probably do it the same

I haven’t owned Wii Fit Plus for even six hours yet, and I’m already smitten with it. I haven’t even played any of the new games, which are mostly what I bought it for. You might think that I’ve finally snapped, but wait a couple paragraphs before you pass judgement.

The original Wii Fit was a neat little application that definitely made me want to work out a little and improve my overall health, but it was very directionless. My only real goal, besides making sure to play every once in a while, was to achieve a number of Fit Credits at the end of the day that ended in a 5 or a 0, to keep my tally even. Having to choose a few random exercises a day was not super-motivating, as it didn’t really give me a great idea of what I was even working toward. To that end, my goal of playing every day or two quickly fell flat, and I only picked it up for a handful of days at a time every couple months.

Where Wii Fit Plus really shines is not in all the fancy new screens or games or that wonderful feeling of playing a new game for the first time (though that was really nice!), but rather that it lets you customize a workout of your own that you can easily repeat each day to target specific parts of your body. The game even has a reasonably-sized selection of pre-made workout routines that only take a couple minutes to complete and make it easy to figure out what you want to use the game for. This alone is worth the $20 expansion pack. Also nice is that the game imports all of your Wii Fit data so that you don’t have to start from scratch. This was kind of a no-brainer, but we’ve seen many games omit much more obvious/necessary features.

This is not only great for giving yourself a focused goal, but it also makes the game a million times more convenient. Making a workout routine saves a huge amount of time by not forcing you to navigate the menus every time you do something. Not to mention you don’t have to sit and consider what you want to do next. That was my biggest issue. I could never decide what yoga pose/workout/game I wanted to do once I was finished with my rhythmic boxing.

In other gaming news, I finished Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story last week, and could not have been more satisfied. The battles seem to last a little longer than I’m totally comfortable with, but they never got tedious or boring, as the active battle system forces you to be on your toes and paying attention at all times. And now that I’m done with that, it’s back to burning my way through Final Fantasy VIII, which I think I’ve definitely broken.

Now that I’ve taken the time to really obsess over the mechanics of the game, my characters are much more powerful than they probably should be. When I got the Tonberry King GF on my first run through the game several years ago, it was an extremely long and dangerous process, but this time it was… really easy. The King, with his hundreds of thousands of HPs, stood against me for over half an hour last time, but this time I struck him down in about ten minutes. Funny what a few years and a lot of experimentation with the junction system can do for you. Of course, this miraculous victory was also a product of hours of grinding to max out my strongest magics and earning enemy cards which I could refine into useful and/or rare items. But I totally broke it and now the game is mine to simply coast to the end of. Also, that’s exactly why I wanted to replay the game in the first place, so yeah. I’m awesome.

Consumer Whore – Act III

So when I was in Fargo (again) with the folks a couple weekends ago, I made sure we made a mandatory stop at the local Toys R Us. I was actually on the hunt for the 25th anniversary re-release of the original Ninja Turtles toys, but all they had were Bebop, Rocksteady and Splinter. I only want the four turtles, but I think we all know that once I get them, I won’t be able to stop until I have the whole collection, as evidenced by the similar situation below:

While my hunt for Ninja Turtles was largely unsuccessful, I did spy the second round of Street Fighter figures. I mulled over them for a good twenty minutes, and decided that it would be best to get them there since they were considerably cheaper there (even with exchange). It was also a gamble whether we’d see them in my store or not, but of course the next week they came in. Still, having Guile, Chun-Li and Akuma hanging around makes my room feel a bit cooler. At least to me. I know the woman isn’t overly thrilled about them…

On the upside, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Smash-Up releases tomorrow, and pre-release impressions have been pretty good so far! After the whole Mutant Melee debacle, I’m still a little weary about it, but it looks like Ubisoft has been trying really hard, and their game would have to be really atrocious to top Konami’s weaksauce offering.

Bye-bye Beardy

Yeah, so I’m not dead. Again. Been a while since I did the whole blogging thing, and it so seemed like I was getting back into it last month… oh well. I’ve been SUPER-busy over the last week or so anyway, between trips and work and socials and all that other junk, I’ve barely had any time to play video games, nevermind blog!

Luckily, I did have Wednesday to myself, so I spent a good eight or so hours engrossing myself in Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story, which is fantastic. Possibly even better than the original M&L, which I intend to play as soon as I’m done with the new one here. I played Partners in Time again a couple moths ago, and I still feel that it lacks something. It just didn’t have the heart of the original.

Also, I’m interviewing for a new awesome possum(bly) job next week, and because I don’t want to look like a ragamuffin, I shaved off my seven-week strong facial hair. I like to think that things could have gone better, but realy, it was an awful beard. The ‘stache didn’t change much from the picture I took at three weeks, maybe just thickened a timy bit. As for the beard, it remained entirely under my face, and grew to about half an inch in length, which effectively looked quite literally like chin pubes. It never grew onto my cheeks, so it was a shabby chinbeard at the very best. And now my face is all smoothie-like.

I even tried just shaving out the middle first, hoping that it would turn into Wolverine chops, but it was really just the same mess without the middle, and hence was not worth taking a picture of.

There’s plenty more to talk about too! But that will have to come in later bloggity posts, because I don’t want to cram everything in all at once! Then there would be an even worse blog deficit. And I most certainly don’t want to end up in the middle of some kind of blog recession. However that would work.

TE’s Bargain Shop Adventure!

So I was in Lac du Bonnet the other weekend. Not something that’s going to be happening all that often in years to come, even though it used to be a trip the family made many times a year. Me and the girlfriend went to see the Canada Day fireworks display (which had been rained out in July and postponed to August 1st), and it just so happened that her uncle runs the Subway down there, so her whole family was there too.

Before hitting Lac du Bonnet itself, I decided to take her around the surrounding area and show her some places I used to frequent, like the cottage that used to belong to my grandparents, and the legendary Pinawa Burger Boat. It was a long morning/afternoon of adventuring, and we finally headed to Lac du Bonnet and made camp at the Subway. There were still many hours to kill before the fireworks began, so we had to busy ourselves in town. Reading her Cosmo and playing CrossworDS (guess who was doing which) only lasted so long, and we were forced to explore the small town to eat up the rest of our day.

Fortunately, that meant doing my absolute favourite Lac du Bonnet activity: scouring The Bargain Shop for interesting goodies. There’s also a dollar store that’s so generic that I can’t even remember what it’s called, but ever since my brothers and I were tots, I’ve loved prowling that The Bargain Shop. It even moved across the street into a bigger building a few years ago, making room for even more crazy crap. I bought a whole bag full of stuff that day, and all for less than $15! Let’s take a look-see, shall we?

Probably the last thing in the store to catch my eye (the first being shitty Transformers clones with absolutely horrid grammar on the box, sorry for the lack of pictures), but easily the best thing I bought were the Butterfinger Buzzes. They were three for two bucks, and my curiosity was piqued by the allegations that it contained as much caffeine as the leading energy drink, so I dove right in. It bears mentioning that the woman is currently addicted to/dependent on energy drinks, so it was easy to convince her to take one. I like Butterfingers, but I’m not a glutton.

Now, a Butterfinger is pretty good on its own, and the promise that it’s brimming with caffeine is even more enticing, but I was a little turned off by what I found when I opened the wrapper. For whatever reason, “loaded with caffeine” is apparently synonymous with “dyed an unnervingly bright red”. I guess it’s just that I was used to the golden Butterfinger, but the insides of these bars were bright, bright red. Possibly dyed with the blood of a thousand neon children.

In the end though, it was just a Butterfinger. Flamboyant colouring aside, it tasted perfectly normal, and despite promises of giving me the caffeine rush of a lifetime (I ate two!), I felt no more energetic after consuming them. Overall, I’m not disappointed though, because they were cheap and as I’ve stated at least twice by now, I like Butterfingers.

What I’ve never cared for, however, are Hot Tamales. Not sure why, but they just never caught on with me. I love cinnamon hearts, so it’s not the flavour or anything like that. Maybe the chewiness doesn’t mesh with the cinnamon in my head for some reason. Maybe I just don’t see the point of getting a box of Hot Tamales when you could get the far superior Mike and Ikes that are always right beside them. I may never know.

What I did know, however, is that I absolutely had to get the box of Hot Tamales Ice. It makes no sense! It’s so wonderful!

So as you can see from that box shot up there, these are minty flavoured instead of cinnamon, and as far as I’m concerned, are much more enticing. They give off that same cool aura as spearmint leaves, but have the smooth, pill-like texture of Hot Tamales. I don’t know if it was just an old box or that Icy Tamales are naturally hard, but these ones in particular were a bit tougher than your garden variety Hot Tamales/Mike and Ikes. This problem was circumvented when I left the box in my hot car one day and they became soft and more like their forebears.

On the note of this possibly being an old box, I could find no mention of the Ice Tamales on the official website, however it did show me that they’re producing a product that opposes the Ice Tamales even more than the original: Hot Tamales Fire. It is now my lifelong quest to find the Fire version. And then procure another box of the Ice, so that I may put Fire and Ice on display together as my most prized possessions. Sadly, this requires at the very least, a three-hour trip back to Lac du Bonnet. I guess I can just hope that they’re still there next year.

As an end note, I’m still a firm believer that Tropical Typhoon Mike and Ikes are the best of this candy family.

And speaking of tropical things, look at what we’ve got here! It should be known that I’m also a huge fan of Dots, even moreso since I’ve learned that Wal-Mart carries big ol’ boxes of ’em and I don’t have to wait for Halloween for my Dots fix. Even then it was a gamble. Dots always topped my Halloween candy wishlist, even though they’re not even close to being the best candy. You were always guaranteed to get a king’s ransom in Reese peanut butter cups and Tootsie Pops, but Dots, Dots were the rare candy that always made my Halloween.

The Tropical Dots, however, are not my friend anymore. I gave them the benefit of the doubt at first, as they come from good stock, but then I ate one. They come in five flavours, all listed in the image above, and none of them are any good. They all taste vaguely similar, and kinda waxy. The Wild Mango and Paradise Punch stand the best chance of being deemed “acceptable at best”, but I really couldn’t give a rat’s ass about what happens to the rest of them. Very, very disappointed here. I’m talking last-episode-of-Seinfeld disappointed.

Also, there’s a math puzzle of some kind on the back of the box. Boo, Tropical Dots! Not only do you taste bland, but you also use your box activity to attack my weak point! Massive damage! I hate Tropical Dots.

To add an extra level of woe to my already melancholy situation, I purchased two boxes of these chewy little abortions in my excitement of seeing a new brand of Dots. Eating two boxes of Tropical Dots does not make one a happy camper. I really hate Tropical Dots.

These suckers are less interesting than most of the other stuff I picked up, and in fact you can easily find them at most dollar shops or Zellers. Usually as a feature item, because they’re two for a buck. These really only made their way into the bag of swag because the girlfriend is totally nuts over suckers. And why shouldn’t she get a good tongue workout? Oh yeah. I went there.

The nice thing about them is that there are a ton of flavours, and most of them are awesome. Root Beer and Banana Split, which I have pictured here, are my favourites. Cherry Cheesecake and -strangely enough- Grape are also worthy competitors. There’s even some kind of margarita flavour, so there’s really something for everyone. I should also mention that they are incredibly tasty and much bigger than the average sucker, so you’re getting a great value with these little guys. If you see a stand next time you’re picking up cheap greeting cards, don’t hesitate to buy a couple.

This big ol’ lolly is both more and less interesting than the previously showcased suckers. It’s more interesting because look at all the colours! Whoo! they swirl so brightly! Also it’s much bigger. But the real amazement lies on the backside of this lollipop…

BAM! It came with a toy! For a dollar!

Yeah, I know it’s the cheapest-ass toy ever made, but still! Little motorcycle dude will reside in my room for possibly weeks or months to come, until I finally get too annoyed with his poor construction. It’s too bad, because despite his small stature and cheap build and training wheels, I really like Moto Dude.

The real tragedy here is actually that big lollipop itself. I’ve had many lollies like this one, in different shapes and sizes, with different colour patterns, and different characters emblazoned on them, but I’ve never had one like this. Not even close. This was hands-down the worst lolly I’ve ever had the displeasure of having in my mouth. Initially it had no taste at all, so I figured it was some kind of shitty coating that caused the lack of flavour, so I sucked some more, and eventually it just started to taste like plastic. The colours weren’t running at all despite the mass amounts of saliva being slathered upon it. I couldn’t even bite the damn thing. I’m beginning to think it was just a prop lollipop packed in as an easy way for whoever made this to sell their shitty little Moto Dudes.

Sadly, I’ve got to be one of the very few suckers ever to fall for it. Pardon the half-pun.

Okay, now this can’t possibly disappoint me, right? A sucker version of a Kinder Surprise? This has gotta be awesome.

But just one thing bothers me; how exactly did they get the toy and giant chup in that egg? Certainly the toy must be held in an egg within the chup, just like a fruity version of a Kinder Surprise. Yeah, that’s gotta be it.

What!? It’s just a regular sized chupa with the stupid toy taking up the rest of the space inside that humongous egg? I’m outraged! Mostly.

On the upside, the Chupa Chup is a sucker that you know you can depend on. They will always be good, as they always have, even if they aren’t bloated to an unbelievable size, as the packaging had led me to believe. Seriously, I only bought this because I thought I was getting a ginormous chupa with a toy encased within. If I had known it was a regular chup, I probably wouldn’t have been nearly as excited about it.

To dishearten me even further, the toy included inside was not at all the pencil topper that the various images on the package had promised. I mean, it’s a robot cat, which is cool and all, but Robo-Cat does not top pencils. He doesn’t even try. He just rolls back and forth whilst bobbing his head. Despite the fact that my fat sausage fingers weren’t nearly dexterous enough to assemble Robo-Cat without an hour-long fight, I’ve become quite attached to the little guy. He now sits atop my Wii with Moto Dude. I give them about a week before my dog eats one of them, having caught the scent of facetious suckers on them. I do not relish the thought of having to hold a tiny funeral for the tiny, unfortunate soul.

And that’s what I got. It may seem like I got taken to the cleaners for spending just under $15 on this mostly disappointing junk, but you’ve gotta remember that that comes out to over 130 words per dollar, so it more than evens out on a penny-to-word ratio. If I hadn’t written this completely pointless article, then the only thing I’d have had to walk away with was the enjoyment I got from the few candies that were good. Also a Robo-Cat. And that’s more than enough to satisfy me. Case closed.

You know it fees right

I’ve been playing mostly old games lately, in not only a vain attempt to save some money, but also in a terrible fit of nostalgia. Playing through Wario Land 4 on a proper GBA is infinitely more enjoyable than playing it on a PC, and I’ve discovered that maybe Final Fantasy 8 is a lot easier than I remember it. I was probably just doing it wrong before. However, my summer mission to finish Final Fantasy Tactics has ground to a halt. Turns out grinding for hours upon hours can remove the fun from even the best games.

Anyway, all the new games I’ve been playing over the past couple of months (aside from Wii Sports Resort) have been via Wii or DSiWare. The one that’s really stolen my heart though, is Art Style: PiCTOBiTS. Possibly because of my overactive nostalgia gland.

PiCTOBiTS is a falling-block puzzle game, almost like a backwards version of Tetris, where you get to move around the fallen blocks and try to make lines in the air. Of course, the term “lines” is a little too general. Any line, rectangle or square of four or more like-coloured bits will vanish off the bottom screen, and pop up to the top one, and therein lies the point of the game.

As the falling bits are vanquished from your bottom screen, they move up top, and fill in a blank slate to create a beloved classic Nintendo character (or characters, in some cases). While the round does end after the portrait is completed, it’s still very much a high-score game, keeping records of both your top time and score for each stage. Of course, there are ceilings to how high your scores and how low your times can get, but the sheer fun of the game is more than enough to keep you coming back for more.

There are 30 stages total, 15 of which you can freely play in sequential order, unlocking the next by finishing the round you’re on. The next 15 are acquired at your whim by using the coins you earn. These “Dark Stages” are notably harder, some almost completely overwhelming. I’ve only finished up to the 9th Dark Stage myself, afraid of what will happen to me if I tread any farther.

I found PiCTOBiTS less than amazing when I started playing it, but as I got better and learned to chain my lines, the game became exponentially more fun. The one-step-at-a-time renditions of classic Nintendo themes are also a great reason to come back to the over and over again. The only little quibble I have is that the stylus is not always the most accurate tool, and oftentimes (especially when you need to move fast), you’ll find yourself carrying and placing bits you never meant to pick up and/or put down, which usually spells instant doom in the harder stages.

PiCTOBiTS is easily the most worthwhile game currently available on DSiWare. Aside from the mostly great Art Style: Boxlife, nothing else on the service even comes close to piquing my interest. I’ll admit that even PiCTOBiTS and Boxlife were lucky shots in the dark that I probably would never have even tried had I not gotten the 1000 DSi Points used to purchase them for free. But alas! They are wonderful! And all should rejoice at the release of a puzzle game I can really get into!

The Beardo Chronicles: Week 3

The beard madness continues! At this point, people have sarted to realize that I’m not just too lazy to shave, and am actually growing facial hair on purpose. Many are asking why, but I never really have an answer. Just because.

I shaved the neckline this morning, and oh lordy, does it look so much better. Now I actually look like I’m growing a beard, as opposed to scruff. Also, my girlfriend is really warming up to the idea, so all is good in beardy town. Except for the fact this it’s starting to slow down in the growth department, so we’ll see if it gets any longer than where it is now. Check back next week for more!

I should also mention that I’m in the midst of writing not one, or even two, but three articles. I’d hoped the first one would be up just less than a week ago, but you know how I procrastinate. In any case, there’s actual content in the works, so stay tuned!

Birdy, erm, Beardy

So completely randomly, about two weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to start growing a beard. Now, while I love the prospect of having a beard, there are three little catches that will more than likely keep me frm achieving my goal:

1. I’ve tried this before. It didn’t work out. As far as I can tell, my face doesn’t have what it takes to grow a proper beard. It grows very unevenly, faouring the left side, and after a couple weeks the growing just stops and it stays at the “long scruff” phase until I shave it off. I’m hoping it’s just because I didn’t wait long enough before, which leads to point two.

2. I’m too impatient. Since my facial hair (and regular hair, after a certain length) grows at a snail’s pace, I’ll most definitely get bored of this long before I have anything resembling a beard. To help imagine how long my hair takes to grow, it takes be approximately three days to grow in a proper five o’ clock shadow.

3. My girlfriend is not a fan. I asked her at the beginning of the relationship how she felt about facial hair (because I shave maybe once a week at most), and she said she wasn’t big on real facial hair, but could deal with the stubble. I did tell her my plan, however, and she seems okay with it, if not even supportive. I was ready to give up after just over a week, but she told me to hang in there a little longer, just to see how it goes.

So that’s what I’m sporting now; Not too wonderful looking, but it’s past the crustache phase and makes me look a little older. You may not be able to tell because that’s the most terrible picture ever taken, but yeah. I dunno. I’m pretty much ready to shave it off, but I’ve made a promise to myself to wait at least one more week before I take the razor to it. Well, I mean, it’s due for a bit of a trim around the neckline, but it’s got seven days to straighen up and fly right before I axe the whole thing.

So why am I doing this? Dunno. Boredom, I guess.

PANAMA!

I know it’s a bit wierd that I might show such enthusiasm for a Guitar Hero game after (mostly) politely snubbing the last one to be released, but have you seen the track list for Guitar Hero: Van Halen yet? I was mostly on the fence before, but then I saw the tracks. It has “Panama” and “Jump”, so I’m absolutely there. “Unchained” doesn’t hurt either.

What’s really got me excited however, are the songs that aren’t by Van Halen. Any Judas Priest is welcome, but another go at “Painkiller” has got me dancing in my seat, and the fact that I finally get some more Queen is icing on the cake. I also greatly appreciate “Pain” and “Space Truckin'”. I’ve got to say that it’s really a great overall selection of filler music. Yes, we’ll always have to put up with a few shoddy choices like Fountains of Wayne and Weezer (and why is Lenny Kravitz here? Activision, can you please make one Guitar Hero game without Lenny Kravitz? Please?), but it far surpasses GH: Aerosmith’s meh-tastic choices and GH: Metallica’s a-bit-too-metal-for-my-tastes track list.

Take the chains off, take ’em offa my heart

It should need no mentioning that I bought Wii Sports Resort on Sunday. My girlfriend and I played it almost literally all day. If there hadn’t been a party going on in my house that night, we probably would have clocked in over eight hours. The different sports range from frustrating to awesome, so it’s a bit of a hodgepodge, but what it does right, it does with flair. Swordplay and Archery are the top contenders in fun, and the Island Flyover has sucked up more of my time over the last three days than anything else. Even Bowling, which has gained no superficial improvements since the original Wii Sports, has become awesome because the Wii MotionPlus device makes it a hundred times more playable (I always used to curve left, now I can play a half-decent game).

So my words be damned, because we took videos! The first is of the practice area in the Power Cruising event, and was more or less just a test to see how well the woman’s camera would capture on-screen stuff. The next two are levels one and three in the Swordplay Showdown event (played by Steph and me, respectively), which is possibly the most addictive mini-game ever.