Page 28 – Burning the midnight oil at noon

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 23: I Hate Everything

Not me. I don’t hate everything. In fact, I quite like the YouTube channel called I Hate Everything. They’ve got a lot of fun videos, typically about why all sorts of things are terrible. I particularly enjoy the series on bad movies called The Search For The Worst.

Within that playlist (that I have watched front-to-back twice now), are a few entries on holiday movies. Specifically, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, The Star Wars Holiday Special, Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas, and The Gummy Bear Movie. These aren’t necessarily the most entertaining TSFTW entries, but they’re still absolutely worth watching. Even the worst of IHE’s videos are pretty good. Honest critiques of terrible films are right up at the top of things that I want to be watching on YouTube. And also I find IHE’s sense of humour aligns very well with my own.

If I were to recommend only one of the above? The Gummi Bear Movie, hands down. From the shoddy editing to the insane plot to the mind-bending fact that it even exists, this is a fascinating film. Well, at least from the perspective of someone who is pointing out everything that’s wrong with it. I would never actually want to watch the movie itself, but I’m more than happy to watch an English fellow tear it a new one over and over again. I’ve embedded it below for convenience, but I absolutely recommend that you check out the channel and at the very least, watch some more entries in the Search For The Worst series.

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 22: Pop-Tarts House

We’ve already had one gingerbread construction project disaster. How about adding another edible construction project to the list of my Epic Holiday Failures? Sound good? Rest assured, it is not.

…

Okay, I wanted to just let it breathe, but I have to talk about this.

My video content, admittedly, does not have a high bar to clear. It’s mostly been just raw footage with a little cutting to smooth out the rough(est) spots. Lately I’ve been adding a little more love – taking close-up shots, adding music, splicing in images and end cards, so on and so forth.

The beast embedded above is, at this point in time, my pièce de résistance. I’m actually rather proud of what I’ve put together here. I was going to add “despite the ridiculousness of it all” to the end of that last sentence, but that ridiculousness was kind of the point all along. I did a thing that was gleefully silly, and put in an awful lot of time spit-shining it in an effort to make it more presentable.

Normally I don’t much care about how the general public sees my content -I do all of this for my own enjoyment- but I actually hope that people like this one. I think I might actually be a little sad when nobody watches it.

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 21: Light Drive

That title is… not the most descriptive, is it?

What I mean, is to take some time to just go for a drive to look at the Christmas lights and decorations around your neighborhood. Or maybe a different neighborhood, if you find your own to be lacking in this particular type of holiday spirit. Obviously, this kind of thing is best done at night, but daytime works too, if you’re more interested in the kind of decorations that don’t light up.

Point is, it’s nice to just boot around with no real goal other than to simply appreciate the work that others have put into making their houses light up all pretty and such. Take an hour or so to just go out and appreciate the beauty of the season.

I don’t know about other places, but there’s an annual tradition here of a huge festive lights display that’s put together just outside the city limits, made specifically for people to drive through. I’ve heard that people were complaining online about it being cancelled in 2020, but the website seems to suggest that it’s still happening? My parents took me once as a kid, and all I remember is being bored to tears. I’d probably enjoy it more as a mature adult who doesn’t simply long to get home to his Nintendo, but this isn’t the kind of thing that I care to pay real money for. Also, driving all the way to the other side of the city is not on my to-do list.

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 20: A Muppet Family Christmas

Continuing on with the vague theme of “puppets” from yesterday, today I will recommend watching A Muppet Family Christmas. I have no idea if this one is classified as a movie or a TV special or what, but it’s appropriate for the season and has Muppets in it, so I’m all aboard.

It’s interesting that the DVD cover specifically calls out that it features “Fozzie and friends.” Was Fozzie the most bankable name in Muppets at the time? What’s that about? I guess we’ve come to the point where I have to make a big confession…

Full disclosure: I haven’t watched this special since I was but a wee bairn, presumably at a party of some description, as my only memory of it takes place in someone else’s house. I remember it only vaguely, and have no idea what it was really about. All that I know for sure is that it leveraged the combined might of the Muppets, Muppet Babies, Sesame Street, and Fraggle Rock all into a single special. Can you imagine such a thing!? I suppose that living in the age of Super Smash Bros Ultimate and the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it’s maybe not such a farfetched idea.

More disclosure: I’ve been writing all of these entries ahead of time, since it would be a massive pain to actually try to write one a day, so I still haven’t actually watched this special. I plan to, however! It’s going to happen. I just don’t intend on coming back to this blog post to add my thoughts on it. I have no idea how it’ll hold up after all these years, but considering my adoration of all things Muppet, I have a pretty good feeling that I’ll get at least a little bit of enjoyment out of it.

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 19: Gremlins

Here, we have another classic Christmas-adjacent film. The really great part is that given the horror theme and Christmas setting, it’s completely appropriate to watch during either the Halloween or Holiday seasons.

Also, it’s friggin’ Gremlins, so it’s appropriate to watch during any season.

If you haven’t seen it, this is the classic feel-good holiday tale of a boy that receives a pet for Christmas. Only, this pet is a strange creature called a mogwai, which will inexplicably spawn more mogwai if it comes in contact with water. And also they will transform into monsters if fed after midnight. Of course, both of those things happen and the monsters go on a spree of mayhem and murder around the town.

Listen, I know that the mogwai rules don’t make any goddamn sense. How does a creature keep clean without getting wet? If it drinks something, are its insides exempt from the wet rule? And how does it know if it’s being fed after midnight? What about time zones? What about daylight savings time? At what time in the morning does the transformation rule no longer apply?

Please, don’t think about it so hard. Gremlins is such a fun, silly movie, that you’re really missing the point if you try to apply logic to it. That said, it also has a surprisingly dark side, what with all the murdering and such. Most of the time the tone is fairly well-balanced, with the gremlins being a mix of evil and goofy, which takes the edge of and makes it sliiiiiiightly more family-friendly. There’s one particular scene, though, where a character’s backstory is revealed, and it’s just straight-up horrifying.

Here’s a fun little trivia tidbit that I’ve pulled from the Wikipedia page: originally, the plan was to dress up moneys to play the gremlins. The plan fell through because the test monkey freaked out when the cast strapped the gremlin head to it. Fun! I think it worked out for the best, but I may be biased because I’m a big fan of puppets.

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 18: Drink!

Alright guys, this one’s easy. It’s the last Friday before Xmas Week, and you’re probably more than a bit stressed. I mean, maybe not for the same reasons as you would be in any other year, but the lockdowns and restrictions are getting us all bummed out. Next week is going to be… well, probably relatively quiet. But imagine that it’s not 2020 and we’re heading into the whirlwind that is the week before Xmas.

Back to the point: It’s Friday! Tonight, your only job is to sit back, put your feet up, and get yourself sloshed. Okay, maybe not sloshed, but get yourself a nice buzz-on and let your troubles melt away. Pop on some of those holiday specials/movies that you’ve picked out, and just forget the world for a while. Unless, of course, you have issues with alcohol. In which case maybe just brew yourself a nice cup of tea or something. It’s not quite the same, but it’ll do in a pinch.

Me, I’ve got a big box of beer to work through. It’s been a really long time since I bought a case of beer, and Lockdown Xmas seemed like the perfect time. Even outside of this time of year, it feels so nice to crack a beer or two on a Friday evening to celebrate making it to the end of another week. Knowing me, though, I’ll probably spend most of my night nursing the first bottle and pass out on the couch by 9:30.

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 17: Exercise!

You know, it’s getting to that time of year when you just want to stay inside as much as possible, and holiday gatherings abound with way too much food. Well, maybe not so much the gatherings this year, but you get what I mean.

The point is, make sure that you take the time to get some exercise in, whatever shape that may take in the Year of the Lockdown. Exercising regularly is important for keeping your bod in good shape, but it’s also good for your state of mind. You might be going a little stir-crazy, stuck alone at home all the time, and stressed out by the frigid weather. Working out can definitely help to put you in a better head space and kill some of that “down time” that I’ve been hearing so much about.

Of course, you’ve probably guessed that I’m writing about exercise specifically to give myself an outlet to talk about Fitness Boxing 2: Rhythm & Exercise. And to that, I say, you’re absolutely correct.

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 16: Video games!

Oh me gosh, finally.

Video games! They’re something I know! Though not necessarily something that’s overly holiday-related. At least, not at a high level. Once you start drilling down, there are definitely a ton of things that I could use this blog post for. But I’m gonna pick two.

Firstmost: Find a game you like, and just play the snow level. This is going to be pretty cut-and-dry in most cases, as a ton of games have a wide variety of stock themes for different stages or worlds, and almost always there’s an ice/snow level. Most of the times those even incorporate jingle bells into the background music, because they make any song feel more wintry.

My personal choice would be Freezeezy Peak from Banjo-Kazooie. It’s a snow level with a giant snowman dominating the bulk of the stage, but also you have presents and festive trees and other holiday-type things strewn about around his feet. Several of the stage’s challenges involve interacting with these elements in some way, like one that has you keeping little light bulbs safe as they work their way towards a tree to light it up. It’s about halfway through the game, so you’ll have to play a bit to get there, but I think it’s a really good level for getting into the festive spirit.

Secondmost: Find a game that reminds you of the holiday season and play that. We all subconsciously tie tastes and sounds and smells to events in our life, and video games are no exception to this rule. For the last few years, when the holiday season rolls around, I always get a hankering to play either Xenoblade Chronicles X or Pokémon Picross, as those were both released in December of 2015 and tie very strongly to pleasant memories I have of that particular Xmas. Sometimes I also have little memory flashes of Silent Hill: Origins, which I got as an Xmas gift in 2007, started playing that very same day, and then never played again. Not because I didn’t like it, of course! Probably just because I was busy with other things and it fell off my radar. I kind of want to try to start playing it again this Xmas, but we’ll see. My PSP… doesn’t see much action these days.

Anyway! Video games! Play them! Possibly try to make them relevant to the season in some way or another!

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 15: Arts and crafts

Living in a tiny condo with very limited storage space, I’ve had to scale back pretty significantly on how many holiday decorations I have. I’m down to one big plastic tub each for both Halloween and Xmas – a far cry from the much more plentiful decorations I had when I owned a house.

I don’t know how this really relates at all to my topic for today, but that’s the intro I wrote. It’s somewhat related, but not really enough to be an actually good introduction. I’ll keep it anyway because I’m a crap writer and I want to make sure that people know that.

Anyway! Today’s goal is to root around your living space, find some craftable materials, and make yourself a new holiday decoration. Me, I’ve got a big pile of cardboard, some coloured construction paper, a bag of cotton balls, and a sharpie. What could I possibly be playing at here? It doesn’t at all seem like I’ve pre-planned a very specific project for this blog entry. No, sir.

It’s Cardboard Santa! Golly gee! How incredible!

All goofing aside, I had a lot of fun with this. I haven’t done crafts since grade school, so it was something completely out of my wheelhouse, and it’s fun to do different things once in a while. As long as they don’t require very much in the way of time or financial commitment, of course.

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 14: Go for a walk

I know what you’re thinking – I’m out of ideas and sick of writing these daily entries. You’re… not entirely wrong.

But this is a real thing that I’m advocating! It’s not just filler like Elf Bowling was! I think that taking a half hour out of your day to go for a winter walk is such a nice, relaxing activity. And you may very well need it after a stressful Monday at the office. I know I often do.

I find that the best times to go out are either early in the morning, or somewhere after dinnertime, when fewer people are out and about creating a ruckus. Natural calm and quiet tend to make for the best walks. The evening is especially nice for a winter walk, when the sun is down and there are lots of decorative lights to enjoy. Even just the regular streetlights and whatnot can lend a calming iridescence to the snow-covered landscapes.

This is all assuming that the weather is decent, of course. You go out on a windy day and you’re going to have a bad time. But if there’s no wind, you could feasibly go out when it’s like -15 and not be too uncomfortable. Bonus points if there’s a light snowfall in progress.

I, in fact, went out for a very pleasant stroll on Saturday, and it was the exact day that winter really started to show up. About -6 or so, with no wind and just the lightest of snowfalls. Basically, the perfect day for a walk. If only I had spent more time enjoying the snow-covered scenery, instead of being totally absorbed by Pokémon GO. But such is the burden we bear on Community Day!