I can see her in my head

The other day, Gabe from Penny-Arcade stated that “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman is the best song ever written. I’d like to point out while that it is an excellent contender for the title, I have to disagree that it takes the top spot. The greatest song ever is Duran Duran’s cover of “White Lines” (original by Grandmaster Flash). It’s an awesome song that is this prefect mix of rock, rap, techno, and even a litle dance. Also noteworthy is Kansas’ “Perfect Lover”, if only because it’s about a guy who’s in love with am imaginary girl, a scenario I know all too well.

So It’s Friday. You know what usually happens a couple days after Friday? That’s right. A new Steve article. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. This one is the most anticipated Steve article of all time. Well, in the little circle here, anyway. Ouside readers have no idea what I’m going on about. So that’s up.

Oh, and there’s finally a game that makes me truly consider buying a PS2. Follow the link to see more.

I’ve got nothing else. Go download all the songs I mentioned above. They’re all great. Rangdangdiggitydangdadang.

And now we dance

There have been some rumors going around lately, and I’m happy to tell you all that they’re all true. It has taken a while, but now an event of super-sized proportions has come about, and I’m quite proud to announce… that I’ve written a new article.

Not what you were expecting? Too effin’ bad.

In any case, you know where to find it. It’s in the back with all the others. I have other things to discuss. Like last night. Here we are, big company meeting, and of course I’m not listneing. See, they’d left paper and pens on the tables, and true to form, I spent the evening doodling. In itself, not worthy of mention, but it’s what came about halfway through that amazed me. People at my table were awed by my stuff, and I guess word traveled through the room, cause at one point, people were crowded all around the table to take a gander at my stuff. I was honoured by a few people asking if they could have some of my stuff, and even did a few (free) comissions. By God, I’ve gotta improve and start charging. Anyhow, I’m gonna post all the stuff that wasn’t given away as the February edition of the Work Blog, so be prepared for that to happen anytime soon. I think that’s about all I needed to say for today.

Level up! Ryan gains +7 self-confidence!

Maybe pay more attention to the headlines from now on if you care to follow this little side-story. Writing about, uh, certain matters explicitly is against my wishes to keep my more feelingy feelings and this blog separate. So far I’m doing alright, but the last few posts have been more against that policy than I like. Even this one is a bit out of place. But I shall continue my explaination, so bear with it or just skip to the next paragraph. I mean, the last couple posts (16th and 13th, really) discuss topics that I had hoped to keep my site completely clean of, but I guess it’s kind of a good idea to have a place to vent. I have trouble talking to people about stuff, and I know keeping everything locked inside to fester as a mental illness is a bad idea. Hell, even this post here is completely shattering my dreams of a “guy without feelings” reputation. But I’ll try to keep the feely stuff to a bare minimum, and if it’s necessary, I’ll make sure it’s uncomprehensible or coated in a finely crafted metaphor.

As for why I’m posting today, the new Steve article is up. Sadly, they won’t be coming weekly anymore, but only every three weeks. Seems it’s too much of a workload for him. I’d call him a wuss, but I’m no better for writing stuff.

And now, some links that I’ve gotten from recent IM conversations! (and other places!)

Notepad.org – I think it’s a joke… I can’t be sure. I’ve got nothing better to link to though.

Conquer – Some online game a friend plays. I’m downloading it right now, so I can’t tell you how it is. And I’ll probably never touch on it again.

MegaTokyo – Apparently quite a good comic. Something about Largo being real funny. I don’t know, I’m just throwing out whatever here.

Dad’s Home – A flash animation that slightly confuses me, but gets a link because of the F-Zero music that fits in just so perfectly.

Online Word Counter – Because those of us out there without a program that does the job will find it handy.

Drat. They were just contacts

But if you wanna see something that is just as beautiful and just as blue, but not quite so artificial, click on this link here. I’d have just posted the pic, but my sentence plays out better as a link.

In related news, I’ve got no balls. Testicles, yes, but the ballage is at a bare minimum at best. I only mention this because I’m that ashamed of myself. As I once said, “You can’t get pussy if you are a pussy.” I think I was talking about myself then too. I don’t deserve my pimp name. (But I’mma keep it anyway).

So getting away from that paragraph I can’t believe I’m going to let stay, I’m pissed at Capcom again. Remember when I told you about the Rockman.EXE 5 Forte Cross deal? If not, you’ll get really lost here, but anyhow, my story goes on. So the only way so far to get the valuable card that unlocks the Forte Cross ability, is to go to the Rockman.EXE movie. I mean, it doesn’t matter much to me, cause by the time the game gets here they’ll have gutted it of any E-Reader compatibility, but I still hate when you can only get stuff by promotional offers! This is why I loathe Nintendo’s “You can only get the uber-rare Pokemon from promotional deals that only take place in New freaking York” bullcrap. Everything to be unlocked in video games should be unlocked by skill and the amount of time you invest in the game, not by stupid promotions. You should have access to all of the game, including the really cool stuff. You paid for the thing, you deserve to be able to play 100% of it. Sure, it’s a great money-making scheme for them, but I’m sure it’s turned away at least one player for every $100 it makes.

Lastly, StarFox: Assault kicks ass. I’d like to say more, but this one is definitely article material. After I get some more multiplayer time in, I’ll have that up for you. And the new Wario Ware game is getting one too. My plan is to review every Wario Ware game that comes out, so that guarantees at least two more. Woo hoo. Shit, I was supposed to keep that a secret. Crap.

Oh, and I fixed the broken Steve article of two weeks ago. I might have done so earlier, but nobody frickin’ tells me these things! When you see a big problem like that, send me a goddamn E-mail! Yeah, so now the asshole article is actually there, and not simply a copy of the vegetable article.

Prelude to tragedy

Valentine’s Day disgusts me. All the pink and hearts everywhere. Just disgusting. But there is one tiny facet of the “holiday” that has melted even my stone cold heart. If you’re curious, the link is there.

In a completely unrelated story, there’s this new girl at work. I know where you think I’m going with this, and I could tread that path, but alas, I have something more up my sleeve. You see, they’ve pretty much bestowed the task of training her upon me. The official trainer is present, but generally doing something else. This is excellent for me, because it shows that they trust me and think that I’m a good worker. Heck, the managers have even told me how much they appreciate me doing it. On top of that, I actually enjoy doing it. I’m even considering applying for the trainer position. I dunno why exactly I enjoy it, but it’s, you know, satisfying. There are other good points, but even in my infinite wisdom, I cannot put them into the right words. I’d continue this train of thought, but you’d end up confused as all hell. But no matter how much of this paragraph makes sense to you, her eyes are the bluest I’ve ever seen.

I’m really not sure where to go from here. There’s a new Steve article up, but I can’t think up any more than that. Nope. So you just sit and imagine I’d written more. There was something else, but that has to be saved for tomorra.

Old dreams die hard

We all have those things that we would love to do more, but never get around to for some reason or another. For me, it’s playing hockey, or even just shooting a puck around with my brothers. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I were in better shape and more active so that I could still play hockey. But last night, I tried to go out and skate around, but I just couldn’t, dammit. It was mostly my too-small skates that were to blame, but when I got out on the ice, I realized that I had pretty much forgotten how to skate. I mean, I never fell or anything, but I had trouble cornering, and any ounce of skill I once had at stopping was gone. So I’ve decided to put forth a small effort to keep myself in in sightly better physical condition and to get out on the ice more than once every two years. I love hockey, and there’s no way I’m just going to sit on the sidelines and watch everyone else have all the fun. But that’s besides the point. I have something important to say.

You know that “coming soon” business that was on the sidebar for who knows how long? It got a little sidetracked (translation: I’ve been procrastinating big time) and won’t be ready for a while to come still, so I decided to do away with it. Also, I wanted to add a link to my AudioScrobbler profile so you peoples might be able to see what I listen to (and listen to it as well. Click the “personal” button near the top to listen to the music in my library). Since I wanted it in a place where you could see it whenever, a blog post was no place for it, and there was really no other good spot on the sidebar, so it found it’s new home replacing the *coming soon*. Also, I was asked about it yesterday, and there are three articles in the works. Two about some stuff I have in my room (you’ll understand later) and the third, well, you’ll see in two weeks tops. My hint is that it’ll be the third, but not last, in it’s series of articles. Good guessing. Oh, and I was contemplating a second OliverBot article, but then I discovered how stupid the first one was, so that’s trashed. Unless I get three unique e-mails asking for it. So it’s pretty much decided, no second OliverBot article.

Making loud noises!

I watched Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy for the second time this morning, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s frickin’ hilarious. It’s a perfect blend of idiot humour and man humour (which some may believe to be one and the same), and that’s why I love it so. It’s nice to see that some of Hollywood is still devoted to making a great dumbass movie. While I like adventure, action, and a more sophistocated comedy, nothing gets to me quite like the idiot humour. Brick Tambland is one of the funniest characters I can think of, and the cast is great. Tons of familiar faces, most notably Will Ferrel and Vince Vaughn. But it’s nice to see other great actors playing bit roles, such as Tim Robbins and Jack Black. Ah, such a great movie, and so damn many quotes to go with it. “Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.” “Don’t act like you’re not impressed.”

Oh yes, and in a strange turn of events, I, of all people, got athlete’s foot. I know it hasn’t got anything to do with being an athlete, but it’s still kinda funny if you don’t think about it too much. Uh, it’s actually been a week or so now, and it’s mostly gone, but I figured it was something you might find funny, if not a bit gross.

I also got my first taste of a Charleston Chew today, and I have to say that it must be the candy that God eats. It’s just so delicious and chewy. Just slightly less chewy than a good taffy. I dare you to provide a candy better than the Charleston Chew. DARE YOU. I’ve seen the light, and am convinced that a superior candy bar could not exist.

And on a side note, I fixed the link at the end of the previous post. Enjoy.

Much apost about nothing

Well, I’ve got nothing to do at the moment, and I really don’t know why I’m posting. I’ve got nothing overly important to say, and I’ve no new junk to review. I could review old junk, but bah to that. Too much work. Oh, I did the coolest thing at work yesterday, and I’ll tell you more of it as soon as I can recapture the magic in picture form. While I’m on the topic of work, I’ve been applying for jobs at other places, so if I’m lucky, I won’t be working at Timmy’s much longer (“Roll up the Rim” season is just around the corner).

I guess it there’s anything to talk about, it’s Prince of Persia: Warrior Within. I rented it, and wasn’t overly impressed. The dudes at Penny Arcade whined about how Prince is no longer the great charcter he once was, and I was surprised that they do actually explain the reasons for change in the manual. Nevertheless, his new persona is much less likeable than before. -2 points. The game is now more heavily based on fighting, and it’s damn hard too. It was nice and simple in The Sands of Time, and while the new system is nice, I wish it were more centered around the swinging and jumping stuff. -1 point. The bosses I’ve faced so far have been really dull block-fests. It’s just block, block, block, and hope maybe there’s an opening here or there. -3 points. The soundtrack is all hard rock/metal, and while I like it, it doesn’t go from the arabic ambiance to battle rock. It’s just always shoveling metal into your ears. -1 point. The nice thing is that there are plenty of secrets to be found, and some hilarious secondary weapons, like a hockey stick and a plastic flamingo. +2 points. I can’t be certain, but I think the graphics actually got worse… No points awarded/lost. Overall, it’s a solid game, but you’ll probably want to go with The Sands of Time if you’re only gonna get one. At least the story is pretty cool and fits in well with that of the first.

Oh yes, and I finished Resident Evil 4 a while ago. Twice, in fact. And pretty far in my third game. The final chapters are very Resident Evil, contrary to some people’s complaints about the game. You know who you are. Not to mention it implies (as explicitly as possible) that RE5 will be along eventually. And the credits scene is really cinematic. When it was over, I got up and for a moment, thought I was leaving a movie theater. The unlockable bonuses are awesome. The mini-game Assignment Ada is cool, though a bit too easy. The Mercenaries, however, provides a great challenge and the opportunity to play as several different chracters, including the mysterious HUNK and long-time villain Albert Wesker. It’s all great fun and adds much to the replay value of the game, which is already unfathomably high.

Pretty good for a post that wasn’t premeditated at all. I guess the next time I’mma gonna post will be around the 15th or so, when I pick up the new Wario Ware game and possibly StarFox: Assault. Until then, here’s the SF:Assault soundtrack, in download form!

ADDENDUM- Oh yes, I forgot to tell youse (though some may already know) that the Mists of Avalon Online forum is now all prettied up. It’s got a starry background. …Yeesh. I usually don’t promote other people’s stuff so often… (at least not those who don’t have a widely known web presence)

And I found this thing out on the net and was sufficiently charmed by it, and couldn’t resist putting it on my own site. Don’t act like you aren’t charmed by it too.

It’s (still) aliiiiive!!

Not much to mention today other than the newest installment of the Work Blog is up. It’s called the December 2004 Edition, but it’s really not. It’s not even the Work Blog anymore, really. At least it’s a little more interesting than the first two entries. And it’s got four pictures.

If that’s not enough, I have a very short movie review for you. Here goes. “The Grudge” blows monkey nuts. The story is totally crap, with very little explanation of why stuff is happening, and lacks any ending at all. It doesn’t even hint at a sequel. The characters are all the dumbingest asses ever conceptualized, as they never, ever learn from their own or anyone else’s mistakes. They take the most obvious bait, and pretty much all end up dead because they’re fucking morons. And what’s worse, they all got scared to death. Only one of them actually got murdered, and that was just to open the “plot”. None of them even tried to defend themselves against the “zombies” (they really lack solid description), and instead just died huddled in puddles of their own bodily excretions. Oh wait, one of them just got sucked into nothingness. See, a zombie was chasing her, and she huddled under her covers. The zombie appeared under them, she got sucked under, and then they both just disappeared without even a hint of a plausible explanation. Urgh. It’s frustrating how terrible this movies is. At times it’s fun to laugh at, but most of the time it just makes your head hurt with its frivolous time-jumps and lack of any explanation of anything. I’d say you’d be a better person not to see it, but everyone should see it just so that the entire population of the world learns what a movie should not be like. I’m very disappointed in you, Sam Raimi. Such a respectable name associated with this filth… “The Grudge” killed at least thirty of my best brain cells.

But on the brighter side, I found and purchased all three TMNT movie DVDs today. I am contented to no end. Hooray for me.

Oh yes, and I was tolerant of the PSP before, but now I hate it because the president of SCE is a fucking egomaniacal douchebag. I’m not trying to tell you what to think, but read on and come to your own conclusions.