That damn compilation of the last few blog posts is up and running. Plus it’s got some neat (half-assed) exclusive content to make it worth looking at. So… yeah. I’m going out to the cottage for the weekend, so nothing doing here until Moday at the earliest. There should be some smallish updates over on Coozy For Hire this weekend if you really need something to grasp onto. And of course, by that “should,” I mean if Edwin decides to add in the new pages that I sent to him. It’s not much, but it might get you through the rough times. Laterz.
Almost free
In other news, I discoverd that they sell Pocky down at the local supermarket, and since it seems to be all the rage with the internet nerd crowd, I figured I’d best give it a try. I’ll admit that I was a little wary of it at first, but I picked out a pack of strawberry-flavoured Pocky and decided to giv’er. Turns out it’s actually pretty tasty. I wouldn’t say it’s worth all the hype behind it, but it is pretty good. That said, let’s move on.
I talked about Cave Story fitting more or less into the Metroidvania sub-genre, and Akuji the Demon is a definite Metroidvania title. It’s all about exploring the game world, searching for your next power-up/ability. The only real difference is that you collect a number of crystal skulls to increase your life, rather than simple energy tanks or the like. Now I love Metroidvania titles more than pretty much anything, so I’m very happy with this title. The graphics are pixely, colourful and cute, and are rather entertaining. Just look at little Akuji! Whee! The music sounds like they just stole some midis from RPG Maker ’95, which is sad, but it’s something I got over pretty quickly.
I have little to no idea what the game is about, since it’s all in symbol-babble and I didn’t bother to find the translation patch (though it does exist out there somewhere). This was kind of a good thing, because I had to experiment every time I got a new item because I couldn’t read the help signs which would tell me what to do.
While the gameplay is pretty spectacular, there are some huge issues with the game. And when I say huge, I mean “you’ll get frustrated a little by them.” Firstly, you can’t change direction while jumping. This is a pain in the ass, especially if you’ve got a tendency to overshoot smaller platforms like I do. Secondly, the game is real short. To be fair, all of the games in this article are rather short, but you kind of expect more than an hour of gameplay from a game like Akuji. At least Cave Story takes between two and three.
In the end, though, Akuji the Demon is a darn fine game, and I recommend giving it a go. It’s not quite as awesome as Cave Story or as novel as Narbacular Drop, but it should do the trick. Go here and hit the second download link to, well, download it. You might also want to do a search for the translation patch, as I’m damn well not going to go find it for you.
Drunk on shadows and lost in life
There isn’t really anything I need to bring up or elaborate on today, so let’s just jump straight into today’s review, shall we?
Cave Story is very much the same as Glasses in some ways, and very different in other ways. The main similarities would be the graphics and music. The game is drawn in a style that resembles maybe a GameBoy Colour at best, but exudes enough personality and charm that it really doesn’t need to look any better. The music is also pretty aged, but entirely awesome. There’s even a little jingle when you pick up power-ups that will bring back memories of Metroid.
And speaking of Metroid, Cave Story is not quite, but very close to being a Metroidvania. (For the uninformed, “Metroidvania” refers to a game with open-ended exploration, where gaining power-ups gives you access to new areas. Like the Metroid series or any of the more recent Castlevania games. Hence, Metroidvania.) This is where it differs ever so greatly from Glasses. You’ve got a whole world to explore, treasures to find, secrets to uncover, and a plot to follow. And the best part of all, you play as an adorable little robot!
So basically what we’ve got here is run, jump and shoot. But as far as I’m concerned, that’s the best kind of game. As I mentioned, you’re a little robot, and you wind up having to stop some demented Doctor. HOLD TEH FONE IS MEGAMANS! Well, not quite. I won’t spoil the story or anything though. Along the way, you’ll acquire a sizeable collection of weapons and power-ups, navigate many, many tunnels, and go up against some monstrous bosses.
I don’t have much else to say. I could start rambling and go into heavy detail about everything, but I think we’d all prefer if I didn’t. The final word though, is that Cave Story is a very sweet game, and God damn you’re missing out if you’re wasting your time reading this instead of playing it. Go download it right now. Or maybe later, when you’ve got some free time. Either way is fine with me, really.
Ooh! And one last little tip for if you do actually go play it. Once you find the machine gun, get it to level 3, then jump and shoot downwards. You’ll never have to worry about anything again!
Too young, too proud to understand
The ol’ router isn’t doing any better today. If anything, it’s actually getting worse. Damn thing’s cutting off internet access to whoever it wants whenever it wants. It never gave me any problems before, and at this point, I’m thinking the best solution would just be to reinstall Windows. That always fixes everything. But there’s more than the bitchy router going on today! Let’s take a look.
Simply put, I very much liked what I got. While Narbacular Drop is a DigiPen student project, meaning it’s rather short, it’s an incredible game. Hell, it’s an incredible experience.
So what’s the game all about? You play as a princess who’s been captured by a demon. With the help of some Mountain God or something, you can create doors in the walls of a room that link to each other. It’s a little hard to explain, but I’ll try. Assume you put one door on the north wall of a room, and one on the south. If you were to walk into one, you would come out the other. Well, maybe that wasn’t so hard after all. It’s pretty simple, but it’s enough to keep you entertained for a long time. Just the idea of being able to bend space is pretty enticing, I think. The ways that the level designers used the ability in the various rooms is pretty good, and there are a good handful of traps to avoid and puzzles to solve before you escape the dungeon.
The graphics are clearly the best of any game in this feature, not quite current-gen quality, but definitely a few steps above the N64/PS1 era. Textures are nicely done and put Super Mario Sunshine to shame, but the lava is unconvincing to say the least. There’s only like two music tracks in the whole game, and I can’t say that I can recall whether they were any good or not. But that’s not the point! Defying the laws of the universe is more than enough to satisfy me!
So yeah. Narbacular Drop pretty much rocks, and you can bet that I’ll be getting me some Half-Life Episode 2 just for Portal. You can check out the ND website and download the game here. High recommendation in this corner.
I look up to the heavens
I can’t explain why, but suddenly my router decided to go absolutely nuts and cut off the internet. So I’m going to have to work off the family computer until I can get it back to good. Sadly, that computer’s been getting a lot of use out of the rest of my family, so I’ll be lucky just to get on. And of course this happens when I’ve promised to make a post every day this week. Very inconvenient indeed. So if you see a lack of posting any day this week, now you know why. Now onto the review!
Seiklus is a very simple game. You play as a little white guy, and you pretty much jump and climb around the world. There aren’t any real enemies to deal with, and obstacles don’t hurt you or anything, so you don’t really have to worry about anything. The game is really just based around exploring and adventure.
So what purpose does the adventuring serve? Well, there’s a small cutscene at the beginning, in which your little guy gets knocked off his star(?) and separated from his supposed girlfriend. He then lands in a grassy field, and so begins the quest. So I’m assuming that your objective is to return to the star. But there’s a snag. You’ve gotta collect these multi-coloured bubbles to open a door, which I assume leads home. I haven’t been able to find all the bubbles yet, so I’m not entirely sure. There’s a second door as well, but I have no idea what that one’s for. There are also a handful of little “artifacts” scattered all over the place, which seem to have special effects of some sort.
Overall, the game has a very peaceful way about it, just letting you explore where you want when you want. It doesn’t really force you to do anything, and the map is pretty huge, with many different paths to take. The places you wind up are pretty varied, and the few events that take place are kinda neat. Plus, since I haven’t finished it yet, you can tell that it’s not as easy as it is laid-back. Sure, I’ve only logged in about three hours max, but people have flown through Metroid Prime in two hours. There’s some kind of logic in there somewhere, but I can’t be bothered to try to explain it.
The graphics are rather plain, but I doubt the game would be as charming with any more detail. Besides, there are some neat little effects here and there. The music also fits it to a tee, working very well with each area. I think the best way to describe it is “Earthbound meets Relentless.” But then again, I doubt many of you have ever played the awesome game that is Relentless. I’d review it, but I don’t have a computer old enough to run it…
Like Glasses, I totally recommend this one. You’ll need a little more free time to fully enjoy this one, but there’s a handy save feature, so you don’t have to get it all done in one run. Though you likely will if you’ve got the time to spare. This one can really suck you in. Download it here.
My heart sings for you
Hopefully you’re up to speed on what starts today. If not, shame shame double shame on you. You should check out the previous post if you need a rundown. Long story short though, today I kick off a week-long review of “indie” video games. One a day until Friday. Let’s go!
Anyhow, this game is called “Glasses” and is about as complex as a Game & Watch title (on the surface…). As the little man, your job is to catch the falling glasses with your face. The better aligned the glasses are with your giant head, the more points you score. You even get a bonus point if you get a jump catch. It works in three “heats,” so to speak. Each time, the pair of glasses falls a little quicker, and at the end, your points are totaled and you get a comment based on how well you do.
And that’s pretty much the extent of the game. It literally takes about a minute to play. So why do I choose it to review? Maybe because I don’t have to exert any effort to get it done? Nope! I choose it because as simple as it is, I found it damn addictive. Seriously. If you’re anything like me, you’ll play it over and over again until you have a perfect score, and then keep playing it over and over again because it’s rather fun for a game that doesn’t really amount to anything more than a minor distraction. And I do recommend that you keep playing until you get a perfect score (or at least 30 of a possible 33), not only because some of the comments are slightly funny, but also because there’s a little something for those talented enough to do really well… I won’t spoil it, but it is pretty wicked sweet.
High recommendation for this one, not only because it’s a fun little distraction, but also because the music is just as kickass as the gameplay. Possibly even moreso. You can find the English version on this page (God knows there isn’t much to translate) or since it’s so damned small, download it directly from me.
In it to win it with a team of four
Because lately, my fascination with homebrew/independent games has been growing, I’ve decided that this week’s article will be a little different than usual. Here’s how I see it going down: I pick five indie games, and then review one a day on the blog. On Saturday, I’ll compile them all into an article for redundancy’s sake. Sound good? Well that’s my plan so far. If I change my mind before the first post, I’ll tell you, but as it stands, I like my idea. I might even add in a sixth game to the article.
You know, if nothing else, I just realized that this is a good way to get people checking back each day, even if only for a week. Oh, and the Rockman ZX soundtrack is worth checking out. Tons of other soundtrack rips there too…
I wish I could, but it’s too late
It’s just a rumor, but the idea that we might get an Earthbound compilation makes me sqee with joy.
Also, Dragon Quest IX might be Wii-exclusive. You can’t tell, but I’m crying tears of happiness.
Sweet-ass Twilight Princess art.
Cactuar might be reason enough to get Mario Hoops 3-on-3.
Article up sometime tonight. Sometime. Don’t know when yet. Whenever I get bored, I guess.
TE’s Hat Collection!
Well, maybe not so much a collector, but I do have a penchant for acquiring unusual headwear.
You know who else wears a wide variety of hats? Kirby. And there are even more similarities than that between me and the little pink marshmallow. See, when Kirby puts on a new hat, it bestows him a power that is somehow represented by that hat. My hats have similar qualities, only slightly less fantastic. My hats don’t make me a master swordsman or allow me to breathe fire. No, those abilities are constant.
That’s far more than enough of a preface, don’t you think? Yes, I’ve rambled a bit too much, so let’s get on to the hats already!
The cowboy hat
The first hat is the cowboy hat. This cowboy hat actually used to belong to my dad, but it was handed down to me a couple years ago after I expressed how much I enjoyed wearing it. Sadly, it spends the bulk of its time as a decoration rather than as a hat.
The cowboy hat not only gives me the skill to wrangle various types of cattle and ride bulls with the best of them, but it also does an excellent job of bringing out my inner shirtless hunky cowboy. This trait is key in scoring with hot models and your mom.
The plastic top hat
I’ve always wanted a top hat. I’ve made it clear to everyone I’ve come in contact with in my whole life ever at least once. While I’ve yet to get my hands on a real top hat, a couple years ago my mom decided that it would be funny to get me a plastic top hat for New Year’s. The thought was appreciated, but the plastic top hat was thrown to the wayside soon after the event. Now it is used mainly as a bucket that holds my bank statements and crayons.
The plastic top hat is a favourite of Party Ryan, though it is still only used on very drunk occasions. It provides me with the power to be funny and to ring in the new year with a plastic hat. Then again, the funny might just be a side effect of the booze.
The novelty pimp hat
This hat is probably the least original of the bunch, being a dime a dozen. Or… 24 dollars a dozen, given the fact that the carnival games that you win these hats cost like two bucks a play. At any given carnival/amusement park, you’ll likely see folks young and old sporting these hats en masse.
This hat affords me no extra ability, as my pimpin’ skillz are as top notch as they’re gonna get.
The adventure hat
Also known as “the fedora” and “the Indiana Jones hat”, the adventure hat has a very special place in my heart. I bought it during my latest trip to Walt Disney World, and it is the only hat I wear day-to-day. While a fedora is usually reserved for old men, I think it suits me quite well, and it matches with my sweet suede jacket.
The adventure hat’s effect is a little more subtle than most. It enhances my adventuring and relic-finding skills to near god-like levels. Like the cowboy hat, it also adds to my innate studliness, though the effect is slightly less than that of the cowboy hat.
Bonus!
As a neat little extra, apply aviator glasses and a goatee to the mix and BAM! you’re Adam Savage. The illusion is seamless.
The reindeer antlers
Alright, I’ll level with you; the antlers aren’t really mine. We bought them for my dogs to wear, but they turned out to be too big for the dogs’ tiny little noggins. Obviously, it was a big small to get around my enormous cranium.
As the antlers aren’t mine, nor are they even intended for human use, they don’t induce any special effects.
The horns
Okay smartasses, make your greenhorn jokes now and get it over with. The horns were purchased before one Halloween because I had no costume ideas and I was pretty much picking up anything I could to make a hodgepodge of novelty items.
The horns don’t do a whole lot, really. Their main use is making small children afraid and cry. Everything else is simply aesthetic.
The X-Buster
It was ten bucks okay. You know I’ll buy anything with MegaMan stamped on it.
The X-buster, to sum it up quickly, doesn’t do a whole lot when placed on my head. It most certainly doesn’t summon seagulls like I hoped it would. When placed on my hand, however, it allows me to fire small foam darts with almost no accuracy or power.
The mask
A treasured construction toy of my past, I discovered that I still had my bucket of ZAKS only a scant few years ago. While fooling aroud with them, I also discovered that most of the manual was intact. And what was the coolest thing in the manual? The ZAKS mask of course. It looks kind of like a gorilla head from the right angle.
The ZAKS mask, like the horns, does an excellent job scaring small children. Other effects include making people think I’m really smart because I was able to fashion an entire helmet (including a removable neck protector) out of triangles and squares.
The Dallas Cowboys cap
This hat actually used to/might still belong to my dad, but I do wear it from time to time, when the adventure hat seems like a little too much. I’m pretty sure it’s mine though, because he has another hat and never wears this one.
This hat grants me the special ability to look like I play far more sports than I do. It’s useful for getting into the pants of those girls who only like jocks. When paired with sunglasses, it also allows me look a lot older, possibly even enabling me to pass for a slightly shorter version of my dad. These abilities do wonders for camouflauge in populated areas.
The Bomber Bolts
The foam novelty accessories are a staple of sporting events, and I’m not the kind to not jump on every bandwagon that passes by. The cliché giant foam hand was my first pick, but since it wans’t available, I had to go with the headpiece. Unfortunately, I’d outgrown it long ago, and now I can’t get it on my head without fear of tearing it in half.
The main effect of the bolts is making me holler like an animal while watching the game. Also notable is that they change people’s opinion of you based on how well the Bombers are doing in the current season.
The Conan
So it’s not a hat. Big deal. I’m including it and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s not a perfect replica of the Conan, but it’s as close as my hair is ever gonna get. It’s pretty similar to “the Steve” as well, it’s just parted differently.
While sporting this “do”, I don’t gain the daywalker traits of Conan O’Brien, but it certainly does attract attention.
And that concludes the list of my hats and the various abilities I gain while wearing them. Maybe one day when I’ve collected more hats, I shall show those off as well, but for now this is all.
Get up, get off, get loud, get down
Hey all. Sorry about the lack of article so far this week. I’ve got at least 3 topics, but between Steambot Chronicles, job hunting/interviews, and learning to drive (Again. Yeah, I’m pathetic) I’ve been somewhat preoccupied lately. I might have to resort to posting another Comedy Napalm Classic (I think it’s the last one) to keep my weekly streak going. Let’s just all remember that I officially have until 11:59PM on Saturday to get it done. Other than to mention that I survived the heart-attack-on-a-bun, I don’t really have much more reason to be posting.
Oh snap! I forgot Band of the Month! (fix0red)