Your regularly scheduled Dark Souls programming is going to be taking a break this week, because I didn’t write it. I know this is going to really upset the 7 imaginary readers who’ve been following the series with vigor, but you’ll all have to sit tight until next Thursday for your fix.
I was going to type some other stuff in here instead, but then I forgot what I wanted to write about. So all you get is this filler post.
So I got this message in my e-mail inbox a couple days ago:
ROCKY SNOW POPS.
Hello:
I need you to REMOVE this site immediately!!!
This is effecting my business and I will be forced to take legal action.
http://www.torrentialequilibrium.net/art0070.html
times have changed….everyone seeks internet today
and to get negative feedback from retailers is not acceptable.I expect a response back immediately.
So yeah. That happened.
I did reply with a sternly-worded message about how I’m in the clear and that criticism is just something people have to deal with. Also I made fun of the broken English, but in a semi-professional way. I’m not entirely sure that this isn’t some weird new kind of spam, but we’ll all just have to wait and see if I get a response back.
I don’t get e-mails regarding TE and/or its content very often, but when I do, they’re always wildly entertaining. Or you could flip that W for the less hyperbolized version.
The average working stiff spends between 35 to 40 hours a week at work. Some people aren’t “lucky” enough to be able to work so many hours, and some fools decide they want to work even more than that. What I’m getting at here, is that folks spend a whole lotta time at work.
Now that can be a good and a bad thing. On the good side, you’ve gotta pay your bills, and working a lot will help you to do just that. On the other hand, it can be kind of boring to go to the same place and do the same thing every day. Especially if you’ve got one a them desk jobs.
I have one of those desk jobs, and the complete lack of scenery and variety doesn’t matter much to me in the long run, but it does get a little bit boring staring at the same old cubicle walls day in and day out. So I like to have things that entertain me at my desk. Now come with me, as we look at my six favourite things that I can see when sitting in front of my computer at work.
Continue reading The Top 6 Things in my Field of Vision (office edition)
The Christmas season is approaching much faster than I’m ready for it to, and I am starting to feel a little overwhelmed as a result.
Normally, I’d just go out and buy whatever I think would make good gifts for the people on my list, but this year the crushing costs of living as independent adults is making it very hard to do Christmas shopping my way. It’s really too bad too, because Christmas is the one time of year that I’m not a selfish prick, and I used to truly enjoy going all out on gifts. Especially for Wifey, though I have been squirreling away money to make sure that I can get her lots of nice things..
On the flip side, budget-conscious shopping means I’ll probably have to spend more time shopping (bargain hunting an whatnot), which makes me incredibly happy. See, while those few years I spent working at Toys R Us during the season rent my love of holiday shopping asunder, it’s finally grown back and man oh man, am I excited to soak up the festive…ness.
I haven’t ever really written about Christmas at length, but that’s because I just enjoy absorbing the season more than I do trying to put words to the feelings it evokes. Christmas shopping is one of my favourite parts of it. Despite the time I spent working in retail, I love the atmosphere of the malls when November rolls around.
Everything about it is just so wonderful to me. I love seeing all the kiosks pop up or change over to something more thematically appropriate. I love walking into stores that are suddenly overflowing with merchandise. I love the decorations, from the wintry banners to the red bow to the huge Santa Claus photo stage. Hell, I even have a bit of a soft spot for the silly music, now that I don’t have to listen to it for eight hours a day.
But my favourite part of all are the lights. There’s just something about all those extraneous strings of lights that suddenly spring forth from mall ceilings that make me feel comfortable and happy. Especially when they’re paired with a glass ceiling, as looking at all the lights with the backdrop of the night sky is just my favourite. I don’t even have words to properly describe how it makes me feel or why I like it, but it’s something I just couldn’t do without.
I’m not the kind of person who enjoys the mall normally. I like to go every once in a while to walk around a bit, and I’ll hit it up occasionally for shopping, but it’s not a place I choose to linger just for the sake of being there. When a mall is all gussied up to draw in holiday shoppers though, you can bet that I’d be happy just to walk around and enjoy the atmosphere. And it’s weird, because I’m not too crazy about going out to any other kind of holiday display. It’s all about the malls for some reason.
Well, I think that was enough disjointed rambling for one day. Tune in next time for maybe something I’m able to express a little more clearly. Or maybe not. Who knows!
I took this picture at some point last year, and I don’t think I ever got around to actually putting it into a blog post. Time doesn’t really dull the pain of knowing that I live in a world where not only do Fruit Ninja plush toys exists, but said toys cost twelve bucks (after taxes).
Twelve bucks. For a plush fruit. That (presumably) splits in half.
It’s not quite stupid enough that I need to call for another divine flood or muse about why suicide booths don’t exist yet, but man, Fruit Ninja toys. I guess that good ideas really were an exhaustible resource.
I learned the hard way this morning, that my body will no longer tolerate me eating like a young man. Back in the day, I used to pack away as much of whatever I wanted, and all would be good. I might get full after a while, but hey, full is good.
Last night, I ate two polish sausage hot dogs, half a thing of fries, a few peanut butter cookies, and a big ol’ root beer. This sounds like a standard meal for me, and I figured it would be as much. But this morning I woke up with the absolute worst feeling in the pit of my stomach. Also I was still burping out the smell of hot dogs. It was a horrible, disgusting morning.
I look back now, and shudder to think of the disaster I averted by opting to not get that third hot dog.
All this to say… there’s not a lot going on. Who would have thought that my entire schtick was buying silly crap and then writing about it? Turns out that I don’t actually do anything interesting, I just used to make the “most” of my disposable income. I’m sitting here, racking my brain for something I’m interested enough to write about at length, but I’m at a total loss. So stories about hot dog burps are the best you’re gonna get right now.
I suppose I could start playing Fallout: New Vegas and regale you with tall tales about my further adventures in post-apocalyptic America, but there are just so many other games I’d rather be playing right now (and honestly I think I’d rather go back to Skyrim before starting New Vegas). Also, I feel like I’m falling back into the habit of only writing about video games, and I really want to pull back away from that. Yes, video games are pretty much all I do, but I’d sure like to be able to at least pretend for a while that I have other interests.
iPhone Lite Brite (called Dot LITE) is not nearly as fun or funcional as I was hoping. I guess most of the fun was mashing the pegs through that thick black Lite Brite paper and making a huge mess of paper bits.
An excerpt from the Zoo Rules page on the website of the city zoo:
And now I’m imagining a gang of punks on unicycles causing all sorts of mischief in the zoo.
So I was all sitting at my desk this morning, and upon opening my browser Google popped up with a fun new doodle, as it is wont to do. I did not know what the Google doodle was celebrating but I liked the art style, so I clicked on it and I got a search for an Edward Gorey, whom I had never heard of. I followed the first link to an article about Mr. Gorey on The Christian Science Monitor. This is a website that I have inexplicably visited before (probably also through a random Google result), and I was all like “Hey I’ve seen this website before” and started reading the article.
I only made it partway through before I saw an ad box that asked if I thought I was a true geek, and that I should take their quiz to find out. I stopped reading the other thing and immediately clicked over to the geeky quiz. Now, the thing you have to realize about The Christian Science Monitor is that for the few times I’ve read it, it comes of as pretty well balanced and doesn’t push the “Christian” part nearly as hard as you’re assuming right now. I know you are, and I know you’re writing off the website just because of it. Stop that, you jerk. Now, I was a little wary of a geek quiz on a stuffly global news site, but I think I was even more compelled to take the quiz precisely because it seemed so out of place.
42 questions later, here I am. I am not entirely happy with my results, because apparently the one thing I thought I was good at (being nerdy), I am merely average at. And now I know not to answer honestly. Welp, guess this weekend I’m going to have to go out an pick up some not-six-sided dice, join a LARP group, and watch Firefly on Netflix. To tell the embarrassing truth, I’m not even totally opposed to the whole LARPing thing. I just have a piss-poor imagination and no desire to make a costume.
Anyway, here is my result and the table of answers I chose. Go do the quiz yourself and see if you’re geekier than me!
