Category: Idiot Box

PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!

Firstly, I made a small addition to the old CD collection page. I think that the best part of this little project is that it forced me to dust off some great CDs I haven’t listened to in years.

Next off, there’s been so much great stuff happening on the internet lately, but I can’t possibly link to it all. What I can link you to, however, is the new best thing ever. That site was a bit slow for me, so I’m hosting the file as well, as I consider it the pinnacle of entertainment and also the exact moment when I knew that Family Guy is without a doubt the best show ever.

As for today’s plug, enter the Scary-Crayon. This website literally has something for everyone. There’s regular reviews, an audio review, toy adventures, comics, cooking experiments, and even poetry. If you’ve never been there, shame on you, as I’ve linked there a handful of times. While the site is essentially the closest X-E clone going (someday I’ll best you Wes, someday…), it’s got a charm that’s very much its own. It may be a little more cultured than most of you are used to (book reviews, people), but that’s not a bad thing. So check out the Scary-Crayon next time you don’t know what to do with your internet. Or check it out right now. I have no shame.

The first paragraph contains gross. You were warned.

I just saw the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen on children’s programming. It was this frightening dancing puppet that was a dead ringer for the infamous Brian Peppers, just with popsicle stick arms. Chills me to the bone. After a little research, I fould a picture of the monster. A bit small, but you get the idea.

In other news, went to a hockey game last night. Kickass game, the Moose raped the Peoria Rivermen 6 to 1, and there were some fantastic goals; the first in particular. But there was one thing bugging me the whole time: Peoria. Sound familiar? And to top that off, their logo resembles Stan from American Dad. It left me pondering if by chance Seth McFarlane was the owner of the team. Also, at one point there was a “wave” going around for like 3 minutes, and I lost three precious minutes of hockey because it was so damned entrancing. Did I mention that the box seats at the MTS Centre are ultra-posh?

The best part of the game, however, was during the last two minutes. Seriously, 1:06 left on the clock and a brawl breaks out. At first it’s just the standard two guys throwing down, but then a couple more guys start throwing punches, and finally a third pair starts trying to beat each other’s face in. It was magical. Anyone who says hockey is boring needs to go to a Moose game. I’ve never been disappointed, and that’s even without the beer. (Seriously, it’s too goddamned expensive.)

Some new TV shows, reviewed

Every year, around mid-September, a phenomenon happens. That phenomenon is the new TV season. This is a season where many new shows will have the chance to test their mettle against each other, as well as current favourites, and see if they can make it more than two episodes. If they make it that far, chances are good that they’ll see at least one whole season. And the best from that group will go on to see many more years and the stars will be able to bask in the limelight of being on a popular to semi-popular TV show. Today, I take a look at a handful of the new shows on TV this season.

The War at Home
TV.com page

Easily my favourite new show of 2005, this is more or less a basic family sitcom. It does, however, take a few interesting turns. For one, the characters will now and then talk to the camera to clarify things, or add a punchline. It’s been seen before (Titus) but it’s certainly not seen often. Secondly, and the part I like most, is that it really pushes the limits of what you can see on sitcoms. The only show that’s ever been more racist, sexist, and just plain off-colour that I can think of is All in the Family. As I said, there’s tons of shock material, including heavy doses of drugs, racism, homophobia, cybersex and even cross-dressing. The characters are great, being your less-than average sitcom family including the slow-witted, short-tempered father (Michael Rapaport), the glue-that-holds-it-together mom (Anita Barone), the teenage daughter (Kaylee Defer), one very odd/effeminate son (Kyle Sullivan) and another sneaky, blackmailing son (Dean Collins). There’ve been three episodes so far, and I’ve really enjoyed watching it. If you’ve not seen it yet, it’s on between the Simpsons and Family Guy on Sunday evenings.

How I Met Your Mother
TV.com page

This is another good one, though in a different vein than the previous. It takes place (kinda) in like 2031 or something, and is about this guy telling his kids how he met their mom. Obviously. It all starts when the main character, Ted (Josh Radnor), feels like he has to get married when his best friends (Jason Segel and Alyson Hannigan) get engaged. It’s basically your average sitcom, and there’s not a lot to make it stand out in the sea of sitcoms, but I like it good. The best part, I feel, is the hilarious antics of Ted’s other friend, Barney (Neil Patrick Harris). I probably wouldn’t enjoy the show half as much if this character were not present. Barney is to this show as Joey is to Friends. In the first episode, every time he gets off the phone while arranging a meeting with whomever, he always says “suit up!” and nobody ever does. I hope they keep the gag running. It’s always funny when he gets mad at them for not suiting up. I never watched Doogie Howser, MD, so it doesn’t spoil the character for me as it does for other people (TV Guide and my parents). Oh, and Alyson Hannigan is hot. That’s always a plus. Monday nights. I don’t know when.

Out of Practice
TV.com page

Not so great. I only watched the first episode, and I wasn’t all too impressed. It’s basically about a family of doctors and their various misadventures. I can’t be bothered to tell you any more, because when the second episode came on, I opted to go play video games instead of watching. I mean, it wasn’t a bad show. Not at all. It was funny and all, but I just couldn’t get into any of the characters, and it just doesn’t stand out as something that I really want to watch every week. Check it out if you feel like it, don’t let my apathy discourage you. You might like it. Mondays after How I Met Your Mother and Two and A Half Men.

American Dad
TV.com page

Yes, it technically started last season, but it was only on a limited trial run of seven of the 20 episodes they’d produced for the first season. So it’s this season that it really gets into full swing. While it may be overshadowed by its universally loved big brother, Family Guy, American Dad is an excellent cartoon. I’ll admit it, I wasn’t immediately taken with it, but after a few episodes it finally grew on me and now it’s another reason I can’t wait for Sunday night to come ’round. The show is centered on CIA agent and father Stan Smith, who is constantly trying to better his family skills and keep his country safe from communists and terrorists. Other characters include his wife Francine, son Steve, daughter Hayley, goldfish Klaus and alien Roger. All the characters offer up a lot of great material, whether they’re funny themselves, or set up other characters for funny. And of course, you can draw a lot of parallels between this and Family Guy. My only complaint is that Klaus is a great character, but is severely limited by the whole “being a goldfish” thing. Oh well, it’s still way more entertaining than the Simpsons has been for the last couple years. If you need me to tell you, it’s on Sundays right after Family Guy.

And that’s about it. Expecting more? To tell the truth, I really don’t watch much TV, and those are the only shows of the billions of new ones out there that I’ve watched. It’s not like there were gonna be tons of these tiny little TV show reviews. It’s a mini-review after all. Besides, everything else I watch has been on for more than a season now. If you really need to see what other good things have started this month, check somewhere else on the internet.

The Good Stuff:
  • Alyson Hannigan is hot
  • Now I have something to watch on Mondays
  • The War at Home is way better than Malcom in the Middle
  • Another cartoon on Sunday!
    		•
    The Bad Stuff:
  • Out of Practice is really hit-or-miss
  • American Dad is underrated because people expect another Family Guy
  • The War at Home gets old kinda quick
    		•

    Toons and stuff

    I don’t know if you checked it out already, but VG Cats Scott posted a really sweet link a couple days back. It seems that Yahoo’s got some dealie where you can watch old cartoons on the site. The important news: The Super Mario Bros. Super Show. In all of it’s original glory. And it gets even better, they’ve got a bunch of other great toons like The Legend of Zelda, Inspector Gadget, and Mummies Alive! to boost the awesomeness of the thing. The rest is pretty much crap, and it would benefit from some other awesome shows like Captain N and Samurai Pizza Cats, but hey, you take what you can get. Actually, there are a lot more shows I’d love to see again, if only to see how bad they are and forget about them (I watched Captain Planet the other day and I wish I hadn’t). Anyhow, check it out.

    Band of the Month – August 2005

    I’m not feeling up to the task of writing much today, but I have some unfulfilled promises to keep, so I’m gonna keep this short. Also, I downloaded every episode of “Invader Zim” last night, so I have to write up an article quick so I can get to watching ’em.

    Yay! Journey! Everyone loves Journey. Or, um, that’s what Family Guy has lead me to believe. If nothing else, everyone at least knows “Any Way You Want It”. Anyway, long-time fan, of course. Just hadn’t ever really gotten into them until as of recently. And when I say “into”, I of course mean “obsessed with”. Some months ago, I downloaded their Greatest Hits album (even though my dad owns it), and play it pretty much every time I’m on my PC and listening to music. And last month I, er, obtained their first six albums, plus a sweet 3-disc box set, and bought their Greatest Hits Live CD. I know from experience that live CDs kick complete and total ass, assuming the band is a rock group from decades past.

    So after listening to so much Journey, you’d think I have a ton to say. Well, not really. I don’t want to go the usual route of naming every album and then noting the good songs from each. That way blows. So anyhow, the Greatest Hits Live CD is easily the best Journey album available. Of course, the Time 3 box set has an incredible wealth of music, consisting of both released music, unreleased tracks and even some live stuff. Good luck finding that one anywhere but online though. My second recommendation is pictured above, The Essential Journey. Obviously enough, it’s got all the best music (though I’d have to interject and say that a lot of their less known material is excellent too), but as I’ve seen it, it’s got a pretty hefty pricetag of $33. It’s acceptable for a two-discer, but I just can’t really bear to pay that much for a CD. Even Amazon.ca has got it up for a harsh $28, which likely goes back up to 30+ after S&H.

    I guess that while it’s expensive, it’s worth the money. After all, Journey rules. Some highly recommended songs include “Ask the Lonely”, “Be Good to Yourself”, “Separate Ways(Worlds Apart)”, “Line of Fire” and lastly “Faithfully” for those of you who like the slow songs. Um. Go listen to Journey. Anything but “Any Way you Want It”, because you already know that song. Updates will come in a day or two.

    Retarded

    It’s been a while, but I haven’t forgotten about the site, I’m just a little low on material. And time. You’ll see why when the next article gets here. Anyway, I’ve got some goodies for ya.

    First of all, yesterday’s episode of Family Guy, “Petarded” was possibly the funniest episode of anything I’ve ever seen on TV. I was so impressed with it that I’ve decided to go as far as providing a torrent link so that you may download and watch, should you be one of those infidels who missed it last night. Or even if you want to watch it again, like m’self.

    Secondly, HIM has gone and announced a new album, Dark Light, coming in September. For those of you who are like me and can’t wait for it, I’ve got another torrent that will net you two songs from the album. Mind you, they’re live, so you have to suffer through some crowd, but the songs themselves totally make up for that minor annoyance. “Killing Loneliness” is great, but I’m really into the “Vampire Heart”. Highly recommended, even if you don’t normally listen to HIM.

    Final note for the day is that I’ve got two articles in the works. At least. I’ve got so many projects on my mind that it’s impossible for someone like me to keep it all organized. One is (if you’ve been paying attention you saw it coming) for the new WarioWare game, and the second, a little more out of left field, is for Kirby’s first DS game. Also, I’m actually reading a book at the moment (not as I type this, but you know what I mean), so I’ll probably sum that up in a blog review once I’m done with it. So go dowload that shit and find some way to keep yerself busy until my next article is done.

    Prolonged dumpage

    This one here’s kind of a follow-up to yesterday’s post. Some continuation, some new thoughts, it’s all good. Unless you have no interest at all in what I think about.

    I was out all day, and again took the liberty of playing my DS all over the place. Today I attracted the attention of no less than three people, and on a broad range of ages too. I’m starting to feel like the Nintendo DS version of that dude from the Wendy’s commercials. I’mma have to get out more, and make sure I get selling those DS units. Maybe somewhere along the way, I’ll find a friend who will play with me. Maybe I’ll be able to beat a human opponent at Madden. Oh yeah, I bought that. I have to say, I made the right decision. Not only does it interest more casual gamers, but I’m quite enjoying it as well. I really needed something different, and football has answered my call.

    My next article will not be so much an article, but something akin to this, should I ever figure out how to do it. After looking at the source, I could probably put it together, but it’ll take a long damn time. Possibly all week, or longer, depending on how ambitious I feel. Or maybe I’ll just rush it and not mind it looking like crap. And that’s all you’re getting for now.

    I also picked up The Urbz for DS, under my brother’s counsel. He was right. I really like the game. The only problem is that it uses both the face buttons and the touch screen, so you either fumble between stylus and thumb or just use your finger on the touch screen. The game doesn’t really call for extremely precise pointing, so the latter is acceptable, but after being stylus-trained by WarioWare and Feel the Magic, it feels kind of odd not to use it. Anyhow, it’s a really good game. I’m kind of upset I didn’t know this earlier.

    I finally found a Tesla CD! Thank you, Music World! I mean, it’s the newest one, which is excellent, but I really wanted The Great Radio Controversy. Still no show from Firehouse though. I did pick up Foreigner’s The Very Best and Beyond, which is also great, so I’m not too disappointed.

    Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance is no longer available anywhere. I’ve looked through around six electronics stores, three gaming stores and two trade-in stores, but nothing. I’ve found Sons of Liberty, and even The Document of Metal Gear Solid 2, but no Substance. So here’s the deal. You find it anywhere, you pick it up and bring it and the recepit to me. I’ll pay you the cost, plus a $15 bounty. The same goes for the Evil Dead 2 DVD. I’ve found Evil Dead and Army of Darkness, but no Evil Dead 2. Maybe I’ll put up a bounty chart of things I want but cannot find, and cannot be arsed to buy online.

    I found the first season Corner Gas DVD today. I can’t recall exactly why I didn’t buy it on sight. As I said yesterday, I love the show. Possibly even more than Futurama, and I have all the Futurama DVD sets. Mmm, I love material posessions.

    I can’t eat 40 timbits without getting sick. I’m a sham of a man.

    The problem with me constantly buying CDs (aside from the rapidly depleting storage space) is that I’m never going to get around to doing that article on my CD colleciton. Maybe it’ll have to go under the pseudo-articles and be updated as new discs come and (God forbid) go.

    That’s all for today. I’ll try not to bog down the blog with so much impertinent information during the next week. I’ve got the weekend off, so I’ll be making sure I devote (at least) Saturday to article production. That is, if I’m not too wrapped up in Samurai Legend Musashi. Two days, baby.

    Taking a mind dump. Excuse the odor

    The coolest thing happened to me yesterday. So I’m at Subway, right. I’m done eating, so as would be the natural thing for me, I pull out my DS and get my game on. And then all of a sudden, this dude sits down across from me and starts asking stuff about it, and going on about how he finds it so amazing. I found it cool, because I don’t know a single person who is interested in the DS (nobody I know can handle its pure awesomeness), and it was nice to for once have a little chat about it. Just thought I’d bring it up.

    My bro’s hockey team got creamed 8-4 last night. They started off real strong, with two goals in the first five minutes, but then it just went downhill. It was pretty bad, but the defencemen were really slacking. Can’t say he was having the best game of his life either, though. But then again, guess letting in eight out of like seventy billion shots isn’t so bad.

    Three days until Musashi!

    Following GDC 2005, we’ve got some things to look forward to on the Nintendo front. Seems the Revolution is gonna be some hardcore online business, and Gamecube backwards-compatible. PGC has a bunch of info, so check that out if you’re interested. Again, I’d like to bring up the new Zelda. There’s a poster of it in the Minish Cap player’s guide, so I’m thinking maybe I’mma buy that. What can I say? I need a Zelda poster.

    I’m also considering getting Madden 2005 for the DS. Any time ago, this thought would never have even crossed my mind, but for reasons I cannot properly put into words, I want to own some sort of sports game, and there aren’t any hockey games for the DS yet. It’s Madden or Tiger Woods, and I don’t like the way Tiger is pointing at me so condescendingly.

    How is it that I’ve gone 18 years without ever listening to Duran Duran? I can’t imagine how such a good band has gone under my radar until just recently.

    iMesh 5 is pretty. Probably coated in spyware (they claim to be clean, but…), but my God is it pretty. And efficient. At least 76 times moreso than the last version. Say what you will about the spyware issue, I still like iMesh. I’ve got plenty of cleaning utilities.

    I added a little hit stats dealie down on the sidebar. Click it for more info.

    Is it wrong to try to win over a girl who’s currently seeing someone by pretending to be much more awesome than you are? (Not like it gets much more awesome than me) We’re still cool, even after the incident, but I’m thinking maybe I should cool the engines for a while. TV has tought me differently, so I’m not sure what the proper protocol is for this situation. Advice is appreciated.

    Why is it that not a single store around here carries either Firehouse or Tesla? Best Buy and Future Shop I can see, but HMV? Come on! I guess I’ll be having to make that dreaded venture downtown if I hope to secure any music from either of these awesome bands. I hate downtown.

    Speaking of Firehouse, they’re pretty much kicking ass on the ol’ AudioScrobbler list. You should totally sign up for an account there, even if you never use the thing, just so I can add more people to my friends list. And it’s just a neat little thing to have.

    Is there a Corner Gas DVD? Amazon says no. Dammit. That’s an awesome show. If you don’t watch it, you so very totally should. I can’t stress enough how hilarious it is. Best show I’ve watched in years. Upon further investigation, the official website says yes. Flippin’ sweet.