And somehow there was an outpouring of contentedness that I uploaded a new Pop-Tarts review for the first time in nearly a year. I am simultaneously delighted and baffled that people enjoy this video series as much as they do. I most definitely appreciate every kind word that comes my way, and I’m happy that people are enjoying these, but… I don’t know. I think they’re pretty dumb videos.
Enjoy!
The response to my Pop-Tarts inquiry was pretty much exactly what I was expecting.
Thank you for contacting us on-line. We appreciate your interest in our company.
We at Kellogg Canada and our related companies, continually conduct market research to develop new and existing products. Based on the market research results in each country, a decision is made on which product will be enjoyed by the majority of our consumers. Your feedback is appreciated and will be considered when planning future product line improvements.
Also due to international regulations, Canadian Customs policies and our inability to guarantee our quality standards during shipping, we do not ship products directly internationally.
I hope you continue to enjoy our Pop Tarts for years to come no matter where they are coming from.
The usual PR run-around with a sprinkle of marketing nonsense. Whatever. I don’t suspect anyone outside of Kellogg’s marketing team will ever know the real reason why we can’t have Cinnamon Roll Pop-Tarts in Canada. It won’t make any difference, really, but I’d like to see the numbers for myself.
I think the solution here is to make up a million sock puppet e-mail accounts and bombard Kellogg Canada until they decide that there is enough demand in Canada to sell Cinnamon Roll Pop-Tarts here. I must have them!
On the other hand, they did answer the question of why I can’t have fancy American Pop-Tarts shipped directly to me. And I didn’t even ask that question!
So thanks, Kellogg Customer Affairs Lady Who Shall Remain Unnamed.
I sent an e-mail to Kellogg Canada today asking why there are so many more flavours of Pop-Tarts in the United States than there are in Canada.
We shall see what comes of this.
(I probably should have just used Twitter, but I’m old-fashioned.)
(Please enjoy the intended irony of me suggesting that e-mail is the old-fashioned way of contacting a giant corporation. I wrote this post specifically for that joke.)
I made some cookies last week. They did not go quite as planned.
Now, I have baked cookies before. Recently, even! And they came out well enough. No real issues, aside from me learning that whole wheat flour makes for somewhat less desirable cookies.
This time, though, turned into a bit of a fiasco. And I don’t even know how. I followed the recipe exactly, just as I always do (I don’t know enough about baking to try to mess with a recipe), yet somehow, the batter ended up way too creamy. It was basically liquid. What was my solution? To dump in a bunch more flour.
Lesson learned: maybe only dump in a bit more flour. The liquid batter quickly became a nearly-solid clump that was sticky as all hell, clinging to even my greased hands like there was no tomorrow. Things were looking bad. There was no way I’d be able to actually pull it apart into regular cookie lumps. So I tossed the whole thing on a pan, smooshed it down a bit, and shoved it into the oven.
The “pizza cookie” that came out was still a bit of a mess. It wasn’t baked through properly so I had to quarter it and put it back in for a while longer. Fortunately, the second time I brought it out, it was looking more like a cookie should. Only giant. And in quarters. Not great, but all in all, it could have probably turned out much worse.
I tried a bit and it was actually quite tasty, as well! A little more floury than it should have been (natch), but still quite edible and cookie-tasting. Things turned around quite nicely!
So I chopped the sucker into bits to make it easier to share. Because I’d made this cookie to take to work, you see. That’s not something anyone in the entire world would expect me to do. I’m not a baker, and I’m certainly not generous, so it was obviously an out-of-character gesture.
….Or was it?
I’m serious, yo. Don’t buy them. I know that steak is delicious and that chips are a great snack, but the two don’t play nice together. I bought them because I love steak and also chips, and I regretted my choice immediately after opening the bag.
Don’t get me wrong, they most definitely taste as advertised. Only it’s not good. I’m shocked that Ruffles was able to infuse potato chips with the flavour of meat, but it’s a bad kind of meat flavour. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s gross. So gross. And they smell even worse.
So, I think I’ve reiterated my point enough times now. There really isn’t much more to say.
Take the stick out of your butt and just enjoy the dumb joke, okay?
I’m not smart enough to write a comprehensible screed about why the little motivational slogans on the Halls cough drops wrappers annoy me, but rest assured, the little motivational slogans on the Halls cough drops wrappers most definitely annoy me.
Does anyone else feel like Mott’s has maybe gone a little off the deep end at this point? I mean sure, it’s fine to spice up your applesauce with another fruit flavour, but three more fruits? Seems a little excessive to me.
At the very least, I guess I’ve learned that starfruit is “carambole” in french.
I think that this picture of a tub of jelly beans next to a cup of edamame is a perfect representation of my eating habits on the whole. Maybe even of my entire lifestyle.
I’ll let you figure out exactly what that means on your own. Consider it a thought exercise.
I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been listening to No More Whoppers a lot over the last couple of months, and it’s had a very profound effect on me.
See, despite the fact that it’s called No More Whoppers, ever since I’ve been listening to it, I have had an insatiable craving for Whoppers. It’s not like the BK News segment even shows up very often past the first dozen episodes. I just can’t shake the need for a Whopper these days.
I have only submitted to my craving once in this time, and it was because I was having a particularly bad day and I needed to eat my feelings. I don’t know if I can stay strong for much longer though.
That’s all. Just a weird little story today. Happy Sunday.
