Category: IRL

Wish you were here

Bear with me for a couple paragraphs here, I really need to vent a bit. What about? Everything basically. I don’t know how it’s been for you, but 2007 is shaping up to be one really shitty year for me. The first week or so was looking pretty positive, but after that, things just started going wrong and it’s only gotten worse. Imagine a world where I, a man who can barely stand doing household chores, finds the only place where he’s even close to happy is at work. And lately, I’m not even there all that often anymore. I wouldn’t complain, but financial responsibility just crept up and hit me like a Thwomp, so it’s looking like I’m going to need a second job. Fantastic. I’ve tried a myriad of different sentences here, but I’m just not sure where to go from that… so let’s jump ahead a little and skip on a few choice details.

I guess having two jobs and working everyday, possibly even twice a day sometimes, would augment my income significantly, and that would be great. I’ve been entertaining thoughts of moving out a lot lately, and even if I had to struggle (and I know I would), it’s something I really feel I need to do. It’s part of this thing I’m going thorugh where I’m really focused on not needing anyone, and that comes from what might be my biggest issue: my growing anti-socialism. Lately it’s getting so bad that I don’t even want to be around my family anymore. There were a lot of people (percentage-wise anyway, I know like seven people) who I’d normally get along well with, even to the point where sometimes I’d wish they were around more often, but lately I’m just angry at everyone and try to be alone as much as possibe. I mean, I know that I’m the kind of person that’s going to have a lot of alone time (to put it nicely), and that doesn’t bother me, but it’s getting bad to the point where my civil nature is wearing thin. I’m not much for making friends, but the last thing I want is to make enemies, and this isn’t going to be helping that cause.

Of course, there’s always one exception to the rule, and mine is quite the horrid one. I know everyone has to sort this kind of thing out at some point, but I really feel like I should be above the “crush”. Seriously. It just feels so goddamned juvenile and ridiculous that I cannot stand suffering from it. I’m not fucking fourteen, I shouldn’t have to put up with this crap. Of course, I haven’t got anywhere near the proper people skills required to deal with something like this, and so like everything else, I just try to ignore it and make it go away. And we’re not even going to get into how well that’s working out. Hopefully ranting out a little like this will slow the burn a bit. It’s not much, but I know it’s out there where potentially anyone in the world can read it, so that’s somewhat comforting. Also, there’s no way in Hell I could ever directly talk to someone about it. That would make me feel like even more of a jackass.

Shit, I’ve gone on a little longer than I expected. Well, I guess I’ll wrap it up then. We haven’t even scratched the surface of my issues, but at least it feels a little better to get it out there. Some of it. There are a lot of things swimming around in my gigantic head that I don’t want to touch on even here. I mean, I know what all my problems are. I know exactly where they come from, and why they don’t go away or whatever. It’s not like I need a shrink to tell me why I’m so fucked up. I’ve heard that you’re only insane if you’ve got issues and you think you’re sane, so I guess I’m not crazy. Let’s give it some time though. A nuthouse might not be the best way to live, but damn, it would sure be a lot easier than having to deal with life.

I’d trade all the others away

I’ve had a lot of pets in my twenty years. At least six hamsters, a ridiculous amount of fish, a frog, and even a bird. But I never really cared about them. They came and went with little to no impact on my life, except maybe that I learned that I disliked responsibility. A couple years ago, we finally got a dog. He was a great dog, and I spent a lot of time with him. Sadly, only months after we get him, the vet discovered that the animal shelter had classified him as a basenji when really he was a pit bull, and seeing as pit bulls aren’t allowed in the city, we had to give him up. It was one of the hardest things I’d ever faced, but it was okay, because I knew he was just going to live somewhere outside the city. Soon after, we were lucky enough to get two more dogs, and life was good.

The last few days have been Hell for me and my family. It’s been all uncertainty and pain. Finally, today I had to say goodbye to one of those dogs. On Wednesday afternoon, I came home to find him far less chipper than usual. Slowly it became more evident to us that something was wrong, as he could barely walk, and couldn’t even get up or down the stairs. By the next night, the poor thing couldn’t move his hind legs, and he coudldn’t even wag his tail. My dad took him to the vet Friday morning and they told us that a couple of the discs in his spine had ruptured, and things weren’t looking good. We gave it a couple days to see if there would be any improvement, but my horible luck was working overtime this weekend, and it just got worse.

We all went down the the animal clinic this evening, and I can say without a doubt that this was the worst day of my life. Just seeing my little puppy there, quivering and helpless, I felt more pain and sadness than I’ve ever known. The worst part about it is that there was absolutely nothing anyone could do. Treatment had clearly failed, and surgery would only delay the inevitable for a short while. The little guy had no chance. All anyone could do for him is put him to sleep so that he wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.

I think that it goes without saying that I’m not taking this well. I’ve never had to deal with real loss my whole life, though you might say that an animal isn’t a real loss. But Harley wasn’t just an animal. He was one of my best friends. He was my confidant. He was family. I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know how I’m supposed to act. My emotions are all so conflicted that I just want to go to sleep and not wake up so that I don’t have to deal with it any more. I don’t care about many things, but I cared about my dog. I loved him, and I’m gonna miss him for a long time to come.






I am a bike thief

Never noticed it before (mostly because I’ve been on the internet very little over the past couple months), but Mike’s got a great story about an English debate we had to suffer through back in high school. It’s a little inaccurate on the Gameboy bit (I’m not the sneakiest slacker, but I have more common sense than to play Gameboy when all eyes are on, or at least around, me), but the Pokémon line absolutely slayed me and makes the overall story just a little better. No blood no foul, as they say. Ah, it’s memories like these that really make me miss high school.

In other news, work has begun to both be more awesome and suck at the same time. The bad part is that there’s this “new” guy (I finger quote ‘new’ because he must have been transferred or worked here before) who’s pretty much nullifying my use to the company. Not only does he know Goddamn everything, he also works twice as fast as me. It sucks because now I feel completely useless, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they gave me the boot after Christmas and claimed I was only hired as seasonal help, because I’m pretty much just dead weight now. Turns out I absolutely hate feeling useless. I never knew that about myself. So what could possibly be countering this bad situation and making me still cherish my job? Well… I don’t feel like blogging down that road again. Use your imagination. I can’t imagine you’ll have too tough a time coming up with an answer.

And because I can’t really procrastinate on this one much longer, here’s the obligatory Band of the Month spiel. BotM is quitte clearly Freezepop. Or maybe it’s not so clear. That font is a bit small to read. Anyway, I don’t much like either synth or pop, but I really do like Freezepop. Freezepop makes me happy with their charming lyrics and solid beats. Like so amny other people, I was first introduced to Freezepop by Guitar Hero. Their contribution to the first game “Get Ready 2 Rokk” is awesome, and their return for GH2 “Less Talk More Rokk” is jsut as good, if not better. The only thing to note is that their Guitar Hero songs are very different from their regular offerings, which have much more of that pop flair to them.

It took some doing, but I finally was able to acquire the album shown above (Fancy Ultra*Fresh), and I do quite enjoy it. Though I have to say, it’s kind of a downhill ride the whole way. It’s not that the songs get bad, but it’s just that all the best stuff is clumped up in the first half. Easily recommendable though, but definitely not for everyone. I know a lot of people who would probably dismiss Freezepop long before even listening to one song, but listening to them always puts a smile on my face and warms my heart just a little.

Spewing from the mouth of Hell

You know, I read this entire post, and all I could think is “when did Hilary Duff get hot?” Because I totally didn’t notice. Usually I’m pretty keen on that kind of stuff, but this one totally slipped by me. But honestly, the real mystery here is why is she dating a pantywaste like Joel Madden? Seriously. I’m a hunky shirtless cowboy, not a detective. So anyone, feel free to chime in here. It’s making my head spin.

Say, have I mentioned how awesome my job is yet? Well it is. Most days I have so little to do that I completely forget what I did all day by the end of my shift. Also, I put up walls. I dunno. I just thought maybe I’d bring it up. Seemed like something I should do. The one strange thing is that I’m getting satisfaction from helping other human beings. That’s never happened before, so I’m a little afraid.

And to complete today’s completely worthless blog post (Not at all like yesterday’s. That bacon man should define your outlook on life), a horrible, horrible website! It changes more often than Mike’s! (Though that’s not what makes it so horrible)

I’ll do anything for money

So yesterday was pretty good for me. First of all, I finally finally got my dumb driver’s license. So I’m basically not a loser anymore. Awesome.

More importantly, I went to see the Trailer Park Boys movie. It’s was pretty much the best movie ever. Plenty of stuff for fans of the show, and very accessible to those who’ve never even heard of it. But yeah, it was freakin’ sweet. Any movie that has Rush’s “Spirit Of Radio” as the title catch is a winner in my books. Oh, and it was funny too. Damn funny. Makes Talladega Nights look like Macbeth.

You’ll find love again, I know

If you pay attention to my blog ramblings, you may remember that for most of February of last year (and some early March), I spent a lot of words going on about… well, stuff I don’t normally go on about. And you were probably confused by it all, because I was very vague about it all. Yeah, I’ve gotta do that again today, so feel free to skip the next couple paragraphs. They should mostly be ignored, as it’s just a place for me to vent.

If you did understand what was going on last year, then you might have come to the conclusion that I’ve been smitten by the same problem yet again. Yup, old Ryan is broken again. It’s not a fun feeling, and I rather wish that it would stop happening. I mean, it shouldn’t be this way, but my mom keeps bringing up the subject in question, and it’s not helping. When people keep talking highly about something I don’t have, I tend to start to want for it. Badly. Like, can’t sleep badly. Maybe all people do this, maybe it’s a problem specific to me, I don’t know. What I do know is that I was much happier without this particular issue. But I have decided to tackle it head-on this time. Not at all wise idea, because failure will result in the loss of something very valuable to me, and I have no hand in the outcome of this particular scenario. However, I have a nearly infallible game plan, so I’m not sure what I’m so worried about. I guess I’m just afraid of a repeat of last time. But this time I am armed with knowledge, strategy, and the power of the rebound. You know, the more I type, the better I feel about this whole thing. Venting really does help!

On the upside of it all, since the job prospects are looking excellent (more on that next week) and I’ll definitely pass my driving test next time (October 6th, baby), should I prevail in this current endeavor, I’ll have the holy triad of success. Or in layman’s terms, I’ll be cleared of my “loser” status. I mean, all I really need to regain the respect of others is a job, but the other two would be very nice luxuries indeed.

And now to lighten the mood – Phoenix Wrong! (Make sure to check out the other two as well, they’re all hilarious.)

I will be the flame

So the old birthday went pretty well. The cake pictured above is the brainchild of a couple of my friends. And McCain, I guess.

Got a wad of cash thanks to my many, many relatives, and with it, I finally got a DVD drive for my PC. Not only that, but my very own Best Buy incompetence story as well! I’m so happy to finally have one of these.

Sales guy (we’ll call him Jim): Looking for anything specific?

Ryan: Yeah, I’m looking to pick up a DVD drive.

Jim: That’s cool. They’ve really come down in price. They used to be like $400.

Ryan: Yes, I know.

Jim: So what are you getting it for?

Ryan: Um… playing DVDs? Burning stuff? (to self:) What else do you do with them?

Jim: Cool cool. So they’re all pretty much the same. They’re all internal, they all do dual-layer, what-have-you.

Ryan: What about this one? I think it’s external. *points to an $80 Sony drive that’s clearly external*

Jim: Wha? *Looks at the tag that says internal, and then the box, and the tag again* Well… That’s fucked up. That tag is wrong. Huh. Well if you have any more questions, just ask.

At this point he walks away and I continue to mull over which drive to buy. About a minute later, he comes back.

Jim: Well, that’s definitely wrong. And also, the price on that one is actually $170, not $80. *rips out the tag*

Ryan: Huh. Way to be organized.

I don’t think there are many things that are as entertaining as stories about how Best Buy fucked up. Oh, and while I was there, my brother was looking for a cellphone, so my mom asked this one guy for help, and he said he’d go get someone who knew about cellphones. They waited five minutes, and after no one had shown up, they just left.

Turn off the shyness

So here’s an odd one: Steve Irwin is dead. Yeah. Just let that sink in for a minute. I normally don’t care when people die (what with the hollow tin chest and all), but this one strikes me as kind of sad. You know, getting pwned by a stingray and all. I’m not sure what else to say.

Um, so anyway, Mike’s got a new article up. It’s about comics vs video games. Go read it and vote. I won’t tell you which side to vote for, but make sure you vote. Because it’s your duty as an American interweb dork.

August 2006 archive is up and running if you feel like reading about what I did and saw last month. I also moved over a couple more old articles from Angelfire. Slowly but surely they’re all making their way over, and it looks like they’ve got some unfinished friends in tow! But will I ever finish them? that’s for the future to know and you to find out. A long time from now.

No time to talk

Ugh. So as kind of expected, I blew the driving test. Not too badly, though, and I should be able to pass easily next time. When that next time is going to happen, I have no idea. Given my penchant for procrastinating, probably not too soon. I also had a job interview yesterday, which was sweet. I doubt I’m going to get hired, but it was nice to at least get an interview. Those are rare.

I don’t have much in the way of links today, but I suggest checking out The Top Eleven Best Arch-Nemeses

I said I’d talk about StarFox Command on the off chance that I bought it, and quite frankly, I seem to have a problem saying no to StarFox. That’s not such a bad thing though. Command is almost as good as StarFox 64, even though it deviates from the formula quite a bit. All the flying is done in free-range areas, maning no on-rails levels. A shame, because I love those kind of levels, but I’m not going to complain. The things that do put me off are A)you’re always on a timer, and B) there’s very little variety as far as objectives go. Either you’re hunting down a specific enemy type, or you’re going up against a boss. The formula could use a little more, but it’s still fun.

The new thing in this game is that for each stage, you actually have a tactical map to move your Arwings through, collecting items, encountering enemies, and liberating bases along the way. It sounded dumb in previews, but I actually really like how it works out. You even get to control all your pilots (who switch in and out during the story) independently, and each one has a unique ship and theme music. It all works out really well, and I most definitely suggest you pick this one up if you have a DS. I haven’t even gotten around to playing mulitplayer yet, and I think that says a good amount about how good the single-player game is.

Just to watch it burn

Busy week here in Ryan Land. Tomorrow is what I like to call D-Day (as in Driving Test Day). I don’t know how well that’ll go, but here’s hoping it won’t get too ugly. I’m pretty confident, but it’s mostly false confidence. Which I’m told is a character flaw. But is it really false confidence if I know it’s false? The perplexity of it all makes my head hurt.

I also have to head back to the dentist on Thursday so that he can fuck around some more in my facehole. Getting a filling isn’t nearly as bad as some have made it out to be, but I could most certainly be doing more enjoyable things with my morning.

Nextly, it’s a pretty big week for Coozy For Hire. Along with the regularly scheduled comic on Thursday, we’ve got our 1st year celebration on Friday, which will come with a free bonus comic. And to top it off, the second episode of Spare! hits on Saturday, so you’re going to be getting three comic days in a row. Just nuts I tell you. Fortunately, I had most of them done early (though now my buffer is totally used up and I have to start drawing again). Not to mention, our traffic is steadily increasing every month, and that’s very reassuring. I imagined that this little project would flop long before the year mark. I even have some juicy tidbits for you: firstly, the comics up until at least the second week of October are gold. Secondly, I’m working on a new feature, but I’m not sure if it’s going to work out. It’s for a very minor audience anyway, so I doubt it’ll matter in the end.

StarFox Command hit yesterday, and I want it, but I’m a little wary. The whole “command the missons” junk is a little off-putting, but I think WiFi dogfights would easily make it worth buying even if single player is a miss. I’ll make sure to log my thoughts about it if I do decide to pick it up.

Keep an eye on RainbowPuke.com. I recently submitted a piece. It’ll likely appear once a third page is posted, and you’ll likely be able to tell it’s mine. Cause it has my name on it.

Due to my recent CD acquisitions, I will have to update at least one page in the CD Collection. I’ll also be adding a new page by the end of the week. Not many short ones left, either. B, Q, and S in particular are ones I’m not at all looking forward to doing.

After all this, I think it’s pretty much understood that I’m not going to be doing much on the article front this week.