Who’ll be the lonely one?

Alright, let’s see. Got a few small reviews and random thoughts to round up today. Let’s start off with movies.

Saw Reno 911!: Miami on the weekend with a couple friends. I thoroughly enjoyed it in its entirety, despite copious/unnecessary amounts of man-ass. It had some incredibly hilarious moments (“No immunity to bullets!”), and featured plenty of actors that I like. I really liked seeing Patton Oswalt in a big role, and Paul Rudd is always welcome in my media. David Koechner should have seen more screen time though. Also, this movie has what is probably my very favourite use of The Rock. I never watch the show, but after this I may just start.

Before I started typing this post, I finally got around to watching Little Miss Sunshine, which has been sitting around the house for like a week now. Unexpectedly, I also really liked this one. I don’t know what it was about it, but I found it a really great movie. My interest didn’t wane at all throughout, and that’s always a good indicator, because I usually get bored with movies halfway through and start doing something else while they play in the background. But I digress. Steve Carell obviously provided an outstanding performance, but the rest of the cast is no less noteworthy, though I’m far too lazy to note them all. That’s why the link is there, people! To sum it up quickly, the climax is great, and any scene with Grandpa is a winner.

Oh, right, I bought Trailer Park Boys: The Movie back when it came out. After watching it a second time, I have to conclude that it is by far and wide the best movie I saw last year. Far and wide, my friends.

I’m trying to will up a couple articles here. It’s been a real long time. Both pretty standard topics for this site, but I won’t say what yet. Frankly, I’ve probably doomed them to non-existence by even mentioning them, so let’s forget about those for now. Just enjoy the long-winded blog posts for the time being.

It’s been on the radio for like forever now, but only two days ago, I finally heard “Welcome To The Black Parade” for the first time. Holy shit, was I ever disappointed. Everyone I’ve talked to about it likes it so much, but being a fan of MCR’s old work, I just can’t get behind it. I guess it was good that I held off on buying the CD before I listened to it. I’ll definitely have to illegally download the album before I make any sort of financial commitment to it.

Speaking of music, I heard Guster‘s “Satellite” playing over the PA at work the other day. This is notable because the music that plays at work generally consists of crap and Elton John. It was nice to hear a good song (aside from “Rocket Man” and “Tiny Dancer”) for once. What was not nice was an atrocious cover of “Maybe I’m Amazed”. I know a lot of people/bands have covered that particular song (but really, how do you even think you can compare to Paul McCartney?), but the one I heard was more a farce of the song than a tribute. It makes baby Jesus cry.

Somebody please read this article at X-E and tell me if it’s any good. I’ve tried to read it like three times now, but always end up getting a craving for cheeseburgers and abandoning it to go on a cheeseburger run and then forgetting about it. It’s a serious problem.

An amendment to yesterday’s post: the song “Begin Again From The Beginning” from the album Welcome The Night is a very Ataris song, even if the rest of the album sounds like a completely different band. Just thought I should mention that.

Okay, I think that about finishes up everything I have to say. Wario: Master of Disguise drops today, and I’ve been praying for a platforming Wario game for a good five-odd years now, so I’m probably going to be a little tied up with that this week. Posting may not happen for a bunch of days, but expect thoughts – possibly review – upon completion.

Now the bonds are broken

I learned something very important tonight: never watch a movie just because you like the title. Even if it does sound really, really good, you should probably check out the IMDb page first, just in case.

The movie in question that spurs this lesson is called “Cannibal Holocaust“. Yeah. I know, it sounds totally wicked. The only thing that could make it better is if it were “Zombie Holocaust”, “Vampire Holocaust” or “Robot Holocaust”. The funny thing is that all those movies actually exist. But anyway, I was not overly pleased with “Cannibal Holocaust”, as it wasn’t at all what I was hoping for. I mean, I guess I was expecting savages messing up some people’s shit, but all I got was extremely raunchy and gory social commentary. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against social commentary, I’d just rather have a lot of cheese instead. What can I say? I love cheese. Bad dialogue and piss-poor actors make a movie all that much more enjoyable. But no, “Cannibal Holocaust” actually had a startlingly adept crew, and the gore wasn’t even enjoyable gore. It was just mean-spirited is all.

I’m not sure what my point is. I guess it’s that you probably shouldn’t watch “Cannibal Holocaust”, especially if you have those pesky “moral” things. Yeah. Lot of unapologetically horrid stuff here. Not so good. When I am offended (only slightly, only slighty) by something, you know it’s gotta be pretty bad. The real strange thing though, is that it really hooked me. Usually I break out some kind of handheld video game or the nail clippers halfway through a movie, but I watched this one very intently. Funny how that worked out. But yeah, probably best to stay away from this one.

The 2007 Christmas Gift Roundup

You might not have ever noticed, but back in January of last year, I never actually posted a big ol’ rundown of all the assorted junk I got for Christmas. I guess the main reason is that I felt a little bad about the sheer volume of stuff I receive for the holiday, despite the fact that I’m getting into my adult years. A 20-year old probably shouldn’t get quite as much as I did that year, and it seemed wrong for me to go and show off everything.

This year I had originally planned to keep the once-yearly feature buried, but then I saw Matt’s gift roundup on the X-Entertainment blog, and the fact that he got way more stuff than I did made me think that oh, maybe I’m not quite as spoiled as I thought. Given, I don’t have like a hundred siblings, but the point stands. My parents also had a little extra scratch this year, and besides renovating half the house, they also used it to shower us and themseves in Christmas gifts. And that’s basically why I’m running this feature right now, as late as it my be.

Now that the whole semi-related intro groundwork business is laid out I suppose it’s time we get to the down and dirty of this article here: the goodies. Though I’d like to remind you that while I use the term “good”, I can predict that some will groan at at least a few entries on the list. Oh, also like the X-E rundown, this will be somewhat more abbreviated than lists of years past. These kinds of things don’t really deserve two pages.

Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker : One of my fondest memories of classic Game Boy games is the original Dragon Quest Monsters. I spent weeks worth of time playing that games, and still didn’t even come close to finishing it. It was a hard freakin’ game, what can I say? I skipped the second (and third, apparently) installment of the series, but I figured that when they announced a DS sequel that I’d give it a spin, and it’s nearly exactly how I remember it. The idea of the game is obviously a mix between Pokémon and Dragon Quest, and I really can’t decide what franchise I prefer. Pokémon is 90% strategy-based, while DQM is pretty much an “accept button” masher, but offers a far more obsessive-compulsive breeding system. Though with the default battle option being autobattle, it’s nice to sit back and watch your team just massacre everyone. In any case, while it’s very DQ in the way that it demands a lot of level-grinding, I still love it.

Silent Hill Origins : Quite possibly my most longed-for PSP game ever, Silent Hill Origins is a bit of a mixed bag. I haven’t played too far into it as of yet (I’m saving it for when I finish with DQM), but I really like what I’ve played through. On the positive side, the atmosphere is perfect, being completely creepy and one of the the few horror-based franchises that actually frightens me. The less positive being that every weapon you pick up is breakable. And they break fast. It’s not a huge issue, because punching enemies to death works just fine (it just takes a little longer), and if you’re up against more than one enemy at a time, it doesn’t matter what kind of weapon you’re carrying: you will be murdered. Also, Harry would breathe heavily after running for a while in the original Silent Hill, which was a neat touch, but protagonist-man-whose-name-I’ve- currently-forgotten can actually only run for a while before he needs to breathe out or down an energy drink. I hate realism in games because it’s almost always inconvenient. All in all though, it delivers more than enough to be worth it, and I think I’ll really enjoy it once I sit down and give it more than an hour.

Futurama: Bender’s Big Score : Time has done well to Futurama. It may not be exactly what I was hoping for in a fifth season, but the first of however many of these “movies” they’re making sets a pretty good standard. I’ve watched it twice now, which is a lot, considering that I’ve almost never seen a movie twice in such a short span of time. The plot deals with a lot of time travel, which can cause some pretty perplexing plot holes, but as far as I care, the writing staff did a great job avoiding that kind of stuff and workied it out pretty well. One thing I noticed about Futurama over the course of it’s life is that it went from being just about funny to being funny and really fleshing out the characters and their relationships with each other. Bender’s Big Score continues down that road, albeit maybe not as much as the fourth season did, but there’s a good amount of sincerity along with the humour. The only thing I didn’t like is that they referenced like 95% of the old episodes, which is maybe a little too much. Self-referential humour is good and all, but freshness is good too.

Superbad : I saw a brief bit of this movie shortly after it came to DVD (“Do you know how many foods are shaped like dicks? All the good ones!”), and I knew that I had to own it. I do not regret this decision, but I also disagree with all the hype surrounding it. Maybe I just missed something, but I don’t think it’s quite as holy as the general consensus would like you to think. It’s a great movie, yes. It’s hilarious, no doubt. I just don’t really think it’s going to redefine any genres. Then again, I have yet to break into the second disc, which contains extras that might shine some light on exactly why I should think it’s pure genius. So we’ll leave the final word open for now, but it is totally worth buying.

Killswitch Engage – The End of Heartache : I was introduced to Killswitch Engage back in… 04 maybe? Anyway, they had a song on the Resident Evil: Apocalypse soundtrack, and it was one of the standout tracks on the disc (though most of them are pretty good). I downloaded like two more songs to see more of what they were like, and I was kinda apathetic about it all. Their latest single, “My Curse”, in in Guitar Hero 3, and that’s when I decided to give them another shot. I got The End of Heartache for Christmas, and I’m thinking maybe I should go and pick up their two other CDs. I’m not much of a metal connoisseur, so I can’t really say much about them, but I like Killswitch Engage.

HIM – Venus Doom : Yeah, I’m still listening to HIM. A lot of bands I’ll listen to obsessively for a while and then kind of forget about, but HIM is one of the groups with staying power. Their latest offering is quite good. I’ve only had it on in the background while I play video games, so I haven’t really sat down just to listen to it and absorb it, but I do realy like it. Maybe even a bit more than Dark Light, which I was ever so slightly disappointed with. I guess the reason is that I was drawn into the Dark Light hype, so maybe I was expeting too much, I don’t know. In contrast, I didn’t even know about Venus Doom until like a week before Christmas, so I was just excited that there was a new HIM CD.

Dethklok – The Dethalbum : Honestly, what haven’t I said about The Dethalbum already? I downloaded it the day before it was released, and I’ve listened to it probably about 50 times. Now, I own it. The Tall One had to venture to a mall on the other end of the city to find the stupid thing, but it was a trek well worth it. We’re both huge Metalocalypse fans, so either of us probably would have gone even farther to procure it. I’m just slightly disappointed that there weren’t any copies of the special edition available. The bonus disc is short, but the songs on it are totally worth however much extra money they charge for it. Conclusion: wicked CD.

Beetlejuice : I’ve seen this movie on TV so goddamned many times that I really don’t need to own it, but it’s a great addition to my collection anyway. Why wouldn’t you want to watch Beetlejuice? I wouldn’t buy the cartoon series though. It’s one of the few shows I loved in my childhood that I just can’t really get into anymore. Ah well. At least the toys were cool.

Trailer Park Boys Christmas Special : When this first came out maybe two years ago, I skipped it because I figured it would be included on one of the season DVD sets. I was dead wrong. Now I don’t have a Conky finger puppet because I waited, but I guess I’ll find a way to manage without.

Wii Points : Wii Points are a precious resource to me. I can never have enough, and I’m ever so slightly iffed that I only got one card for Christmas. Oh well. The Youngest One decided he would gift me a Virtual Console game as his present, but there was nothing I didn’t already own that I wanted on the service, so he gave me a raincheck. It’s been three weeks since Christmas and I still have that raincheck. Where are all the good VC games?

Nunchuck attachment : “But Ryan,” you say “when did you get a second Wii Remote?” the fact of the matter is that I did not. I just wanted a second nunchuck so that I could have one just to leave in the Zapper. Honestly, I back-and-forth with the thing a lot, and locking in and winding up the nunchuck, then undoing it all when I’m done is a pain in the ass. The annoyance of the process has on more than one occasion stopped me from playing anything at all, so you can see how Goddamned lazy I really am. Actually, I probably should pick up a second Wiimote just to leave in the Les Paul…

Lost season 3 : The thing between me and TV is that I don’t watch things on purpose. I can never remember when shit is on, or what channel it’s on, so when I find a show I like, I generally just go out and buy the DVDs to save myself the trouble. I don’t usually blaze through DVD sets so quickly, but I’ve already watched every episode from this particular season, and have started hacking away at the bonus features disc. I guess I wouldn’t really call myself a Lost junkie, because I’m not completely fanatical about it, but it is without a doubt my favourite show on TV right now. Season 4 is supposed to the be the end, and it makes me sad, but given the way 3 ended, I guess dragging it on any longer would seem forced. So yeah. I thoroughly enjoy Lost.

The Godzilla Collection : I’ll be honest here, I haven’t seen any classic Godzilla movies in their entirety. I’ve tried to watch a couple over the years, but since they were always on TV quite late, and I was much younger then, I always ended up falling asleep. It’s a lore I’ve always been very interested in though. I’ve played a lot of the Godzilla-based video games, and read up plenty on the subject on the ol’ Wikipedia. When I saw this box, my eyes bugged out and I knew that it had to be mine. And now it is. I still haven’t set aside time to crack it open yet, because I want to marathon it, but I fully intend to sometime within the next week or two. It contains seven movies: the original, and the six Showa series films. I know somewhere out there there’s a box of the Heisei series films, but I just haven’t found it yet. When I do though…

The Doors : This was kind of an odd one. My mom was looking for things for The Tall One, and she pointed this out. I surmised that he probably didn’t listen to the Doors, but that I did, though not really showing much interest. Christmas morning: BAM! You know what? Maybe it’s not something I would pursue under my own power, but it sounds like an interesting movie. I’m pretty sure it’ll be awesome. Because I think the Doors are pretty awesome. Now all I have to do is put aside some spare time in which to watch it. Maybe I’ll do that once I’m done with this stupid article.

Jerry Seinfeld Live on Broadway : It’s Seinfeld. It was a stocking stuffer. Again, not something I would really even give a second look, but ends up being right up my alley. Again, haven’t watched it yet, but fully intend to. If the standup bits on the show were representative of what his real acts are like, then I’m assuming that this will have me busting a gut, so to speak.

Trauma Center: New Blood : You know what’s pretty cool? The Wii Zapper works quite nicely with the Trauma Center games. Never would have thought so, would you? Okay, it hasn’t made a huge difference, but the little bit of extra steadiness helps. In any case, I only started this one up last night. I’m not quite sure if I ever finished the first one, but that’s besides the point. So far, the game is… well, exactly the same. The production values have gone up considerably, though I think the new TV does have a small role to play there. The fact that the entire game is voice-acted is great, because the VAs do a terrific job for the most part. It may not be anything particularly fresh, but hey, Trauma Center is wicked fun.

Whiskey : In the toe of my stocking, rather than finding the traditional orange (which, coincidentally, I’ve never gotten in my stocking), there was a small bottle of Crown Royal. Also, a shot glass with a Santa face on it. Huzzah. Both remain unopened because, quite frankly, I very rarely find myself in a situation where I require alcohol. Mostly because I spend my Friday/Saturday nights alone in my room. I’m not complaining, I’m just sayin’.

Sudoku TV : I’ll admit it, I’m hooked on Sudoku. I blame Brain Age entirely for this. So anyhow, I saw this gizmo at Wal-Mart one night while Christmas shopping with the “fam”, and decided to pick it up because I thought it would be good for a review at the very least. My mom said she’d buy it and told me to act surprised. So on Christmas morning I was treated to a huge box full of plug-n-play Sudoku. And you know what? It’s crap. I mean, it didn’t promise anything that it doens’t deliver, but the buttons are crappy and insensitive, the controls for playing Sudoku on the TV is completely asinine, and the little LCD screen just doesn’t suit the game very well. And I’m not even going to get into the other games that are packed into it. Ugh. It’s usable, but just barely. I will have to go in-depth with it though. It’s just that hilariously bad.

Gift Card Mania!!! : Every year I see more of these little things and it’s like: why don’t you just give me money? They’re not even all in the picture. I mean, I guess the only one I’d be unlikely to use is the one for Blockbuster, because I almost never rent anything, but still. And what’s with the two movie passes? Are you trying to say something? Are you that unsatisfied with me being single? I won five bucks on the Set For Life ticket though. Which is good becaue now I can go get another one, but bad because I know how addicting lottery tickets can be. I already spend way too much money, I don’t need those dumb things nickel-and-diming my bank account down even more.

And that about wraps that up. There are some other assorted thingers that I neglected to mention, mostly clothes and stocking stuffers, but those aren’t interesting in the least. That’s not to say that anything pictured is, but I’m not too concerned about showing the world a new pair of jeans or a pack of gum, you know? Yeah, so that’s the end then. I’m not sure exatly how to cut this off properly. I guess a clean break after the gift card paragraph would have been the best way to do it, but I’ve committed myself to this paragraph and I’m damn well going to see it through. To the end. Which is now.

Don’t you run away and hide

Surely you’ve all seen the hilarious safety pictures from the Japanese Wii Manual, so I won’t link to them. However, I think the fake ones are definitely worth the linkage.

Finally got around to renting and watching Nacho Libre last week. I had never realized it was a Nickelodeon movie, and as such it was pretty kid-friendly. Needless to say, my expectations were beaten severely. It wasn’t that bad, but it could have been a lot better were it not essentailly a family movie. At least Jack Black is a good actor. His performance really hold it together. That and the fact that I find lucha libre to be hilarious in its own right.

I also watched the first Hellraiser movie on Sunday. It was respectably good, and much different than I had imagined it. Not so much a slasher as just a kind of sadistic horror movie, but enjoyable all the same. Now I’ve only got seven left to watch, and damn that’s going to take some time. Apparently they start to suck after the third, though. Oh well. They’re all sitting there staing at me, just begging to be watched, so I guess I’m going to have to do it eventually.

It’s a gas

My latest contribution to the cesspool of hentai and retards that is the internet is up. It’s dated for tomorrow, but whatever. I didn’t spellcheck it either, so be prepared for barge-sized loads of typos. Overall it’s about as half-assed as the covered subject, really.

In better news, I finally got around to watching Man With The Screaming Brain this afternoon. I bought it like two months ago, and only now sat down to watch it. I find that happens quite often, actually. But anyway, it was a rather quirky movie. It’s about this American businessman who goes on a busniess trip to Bulgaria, and winds up with rather severe brain damage. To fix it, this crazy doctor replaces half of his brain with that of an ex-KGB agent. Hilarity and robots ensue. I pretty much just bought it because it’s written/directed/produced by Bruce Campbell, and he also happens to play the main character. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this like a jillion times, but Bruce Campbell’s my hero. Anyway, good movie, and I heartily recommend it. Even better than Bubba Ho-Tep.

And oh, hey, only one Wiik to go. God that was a terrible pun.

I’ll do anything for money

So yesterday was pretty good for me. First of all, I finally finally got my dumb driver’s license. So I’m basically not a loser anymore. Awesome.

More importantly, I went to see the Trailer Park Boys movie. It’s was pretty much the best movie ever. Plenty of stuff for fans of the show, and very accessible to those who’ve never even heard of it. But yeah, it was freakin’ sweet. Any movie that has Rush’s “Spirit Of Radio” as the title catch is a winner in my books. Oh, and it was funny too. Damn funny. Makes Talladega Nights look like Macbeth.

Am I just a fool

While cruising the ol’ wikipedia, I came across this. Maybe it’s just me, but this sounds like an awesome movie. Having Jerry Seinfeld, Patrick Warburton, and John Goodman alone make it worth seeing, but there’s so many other talents on there that I’d see it for the VA roster alone. And I never ever see movies because of who’s in them.

I’ve been meaning to get a couple more blog essays done (got two good ones in mind), but I don’t know when those are going to take place. Maybe never, maybe this week (that’s what I’m shooting for). We’ll have to see.

Look at the hottie in the tight jeans

I watched The Bechwarmers the other night. It was surprisingly good. I mean, it’s not something I would buy, but I’ll recommend renting it. Dick and fart jokes, plenty of slapstick, and mucho vomit. Exactly what I look for in a dumb movie. Plus a bunch of good names. I’m not a huge Rob Schneider fan, but he, David Spade and Jon Heder do a commendable job on this one.

Bought me a buttload of CDs over the last couple days. Four, actually, but I defy you to load your butt with more than four CDs. Bad Religion’s The Empire Strikes First is fan-frickin-tastic, and Thrice’s Red Sky EP headbutts women in the ovaries for fun. The other two (Resident Evil Soundtrack, OK Go’s Oh No) are less notable, but I like them enough to have bought them. I also finally found a copy of The Alpahbet of Manliness. Needless to say, it’s the best book I’ve read since… Well, probably ever.

Lastly for today, I will wipe any doubt that I don’t kick major ass from your mind. Behold:

click for king-size

Frankly, “Bark At The Moon” was a bitch, but otherwise, I think I’m getting pretty good. I’m not going anywhere near Expert mode though. Not until I five-star everything on Hard, at least. It literally frightens me.

Lookin’ forward to a little afternoon delight

Went to see Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby last night. As expected, it was excellent. Might have even been better than Anchorman, and damn do I love Anchorman. It’s the only movie (I own) that I’ve watched more than four times (aside from the original Star Wars trilogy). Anyway, Talladega. It’s hilarious, the actors are excellent, and it’s even got a badass soundtrack. There’s nothing not to enjoy. Maybe they drag a couple jokes out for too long, but other than that, there isn’t anything to complain about. Oh, and since it’s a NASCAR movie, there’s plenty of product shilling, which is normally kind of annoying, but it’s a NASCAR movie, so you really can’t complain, as NASCAR is like the biggest sellout… thing… ever. And they play a lot of jokes off the product placement too, so it works out. Not like that damned Will Smith. Like I care about stupid Converse.

So in conclusion, um, yeah, go see it. It’s worth the (x) dollars, and I know I’m going to be paying another (x) dollars when it’s released on DVD. Maybe then I’ll finally pick up Old School too. Been meaning to get that for quite some time now…

Just let me sleep

I found a great review of FFVII: Advent Children. Yeah it’s a little out-of-date, but a good read no less. Find it here.

In video game news, I’ve been enjoying two of my favourite games from the last generation, Super Mario 64 and MegaMan Legends. What this has to do with any thing, I can’t really tell you. What I do know is that I’m a little surprised at how much better those two games can hold my attention than most from the current generation. I even spent 6 straight hours playing Castlevania: Symphony of the Night some weekends ago, and I can rarely play a single game for two hours straight these days. I bought MGS3:Subsistence a few months ago, and I’m still not even halfway through it. Even the oh-so-lovable Katamari Damacy can only keep me occupied for about an hour at a time. Are games really getting less interesting? It can’t be me, because I can still sit down for hours with the classics and most handheld games. Who knows? Maybe it’s just a phase. I can very much see myself not leaving the house (my room?) for long periods of time once that Wii thing makes its way into my living space. End ramblings.