I just ate Pop-Tarts. …I’ve got nothin’

One, I don’t have much time before I have to get ready for work, so this’ll be a short post. Two, it’s not going to be very interesting. Three, I’ll be writing and hopefully posting an article tomorrow between cartoons and work. Four, I won’t tell you what it’s about, but there is a very subtle hint here.

So yes, I’ll be doing that. And on Sunday morning, I plan to make a drawn-out post about the ups and downs of the working world. Particularly the working at Tim Horton’s world. After that pillow fiasco and not posting for eight or so days, I think it’s time I gave you a little real content and a side order of real life observations.

In other, less important news, I’ve been buying stuff online. Mostly crap that only I would like, but it has been done. By me. The only trouble is that it takes eight days for the moneys to get from my bank account to my PayPal account, and then the shipping and such takes weeks, so it’s a very very long process. As you may know, when it comes to getting material objects, I’m not a very patient person at all. Speaking of which, less than a month until I get my Nintendo DS. Woot, I say. Woot. Finally, I get a portable version of Super Mario 64. (Which just happens to be my favorite game of all time)

I’ve been thinking… no, not really.

In an effort to make the blog here a little more interesting and less annoying day-to-day events, I’m going to start making posts more subject-oriented. That means more posts like my little reviews or Band of the Month. And today’s topic is none other than one of my favorite things in the world: pillows.

Yes, pillows. The mysteries that surround these fluffy bundles of joy are many, but I have one in particular that I would like to tackle today. Why is it that sleeping-type pillows are always rectangular? It’s a question that one would never really think to ask, but it must be asked nonetheless. And I, I shall figure out why this is so. You see, I was pondering the question today while in the midst of catching a few – as the youth say – “z’s”, and I think I came up with a few reasonable answers to this perplexing puzzle. It’s really quite simple you see, for if a fellow such as I could deduce why this is, than surely most everyone else should be able to come up with some sort of solution on their own.

Firstly, and most visually obvious, is that fact that the rectangular pillow simply matches up with the shape of the common bed better than any other familiar pillow shapes. If you’ve ever placed say, a circular or ovalular pillow on a bed, you’ll notice that it simply does not look right. In the most plain way of saying it, the focal point of the bed is the pillow, and if this does not look right, prospective nappers may shun the bed and go off to find what they may think is a better bed. And while the bed is still perfectly good, if it cannot attract nappers, it will go unused and never fulfill it’s role in the circle of furniture life.

A second, and also important point is how the napper will rest on the pillow. While a circular pillow would seem like a more natural shape to seek for a sleeping-type pillow (since it matches the shape of the human head), it will not provide the same type of support as a rectangular pillow. You see, while nappers nap, they tend to roll from side to side, and along with them goes their head. If a napper were using a circular pillow and were to roll to one side, the napper’s head would invariably lose it’s spot on the pillow and be left with no fluffy support. Whereas with a rectangular pillow, the napper can roll the width of the bed, and always be on the pillow due to the rectangle’s wide shape. As one should be able to tell, a square pillow would fail as well, because it also lacks sufficient width. See diagram 7.2B for visual reference.

The last point that I would like you to take notice of is the fact that the rectangular pillow is also the stereotype pillow. It is used all of the time in many, many different forms of media, ranging from comics to movies. Rarely do we see any other-shaped pillows in such mediums, as they are both not as popular, and simply do not adhere to the first rule, as when we see pillows in media, they are almost 100% of the time on beds.

The information in the three points above is clearly enough proof as to why the rectangular pillow is the pillow best suited for being slept on. They are both more visually appealing and more efficient than any other sort of pillow can be when placed in such a situation. I believe that I’ve made my point quite clear by now, and I’m gonna stop typing all scientificky-like now. Back tot he good old ramble-speak.

If you feel cheated by the clear stupidness of this post, I’ve decided to add in a few links just for good measure. And kicks, too.

The Essay Generator – It’s a neat little internet doodad, and I’ve gotten my kicks from it. Be sure to check out the potentially hilarious Proverb Generator as well. Oh, and the other stuff on the page, too.

The Strangerhood – You’ve heard of Red Vs. Blue, right? Well, the Stangerhood is the new production from the same guys that uses The Sims 2 instead of Halo. I haven’t downloaded Episode 1 yet, but the trailer makes it look pretty good. I expect gobs of hilarity. After all, RVB is actually featured on X-Box demo consoles.

MegaMan Zero 3 review – Because I haven’t done one yet. I actually do plan on doing it, but it’s unfortunately near the bottom of the to-do list, right above my review of Kirby and the Amazing Mirror. Which will also be around… Eventually.

Lik-Sang.com – My new best friend. Finally, I can import video game such and suches from all over the world! One of the very few sites I want to buy stuff from that accepts PayPal. Stupid ThinkGeek. Maybe I’ll even save up and buy the super-rare, super-cool Panasonic Q. Unfortunately, it’s also super-expensive…

The end of and era

I actually did it. Just like I said I would. The twelfth and final Chat Radio is now up and ready for reading. You can access it here. If you’ve never heard of Chat Radio because you’re either a total dipwad or are new to the site, the archive is located right here. So yes. It’s pretty short and boring, so I’ve decided to simply steal the best parts and post them right here for all to see.

~ TE Astrology Time! ~

  • Aquarius: You will sleep long into the afternoon tomorrow. Getting up is difficult for you as you know you need to do the dishes. Weather will be to your liking. You will meet a beautiful woman who is interested in the same things you are
  • Pisces: You’ll notice that you’ve made some poor decisions lately and want to make up for them by making better ones in the future. A pair of Hulk Hands will solve your current biggest problem
  • Aries: Your love life is in trouble. Several people are out to get you, and financial trouble is on it’s way. The best course of action requires a big commitment and a rope.
  • Taurus: It’s time to clean up some large messes you’ve made in the past. A mop and bucket will be at your side in the weeks that follow.
  • Gemini: Luck is in your favor. Spend more time looking in places you normally wouldn’t. You will begin to question where your life is going.
  • Cancer: Everyone loves Cancer. I mean hates. Everyone hates Cancer. You should stay away from cell phones, microwaves, the sun, and pretty much everything else to avoid making your situation any worse.
  • Leo: Facial hair will do you no good in the near future. In fact, not much will, as you’ve got one heck of a bad luck steak coming on. Consider spending more time alone.
  • Virgo: Also known as “The Virgin”, your astrological symbol fits you to a tee. Cheese isn’t going to play a big part in your life any time soon. And watch out for holes.
  • Libra: This week is the perfect opportunity to unblock the bowel obstruction you developed three months ago. You will find yourself living in the room of your house that you least expected.
  • Scorpio: Seven. Remember that number, as it’s going to cost you a lot if you forget it. Poison is probably a bad thing to ingest, but give it a try if you’re feeling really lucky, because I see a miracle in the works for you.
  • Sagittarius: Your astrological sign looks a lot like the word spaghetti. This newfound knowledge will help you both in your personal and financial endeavors.
  • Capricorn: Your new favorite word is toaster oven. Yelling this word is ill advised, and should only be done in extreme cases. Try to eat an entire jar of peanut butter today.

Just a blog. About a new blog

So I’m at work the other day, and I’m on my break. It’s generally pretty boring, with nothing but solitaire and the john to keep me occupied. So I decided to start fooling around with the break room PC. And boy, have I reached a new low. I found an old version of FrontPage sitting around, and decided to check it out to see how the old version works. At first I was confused and afraid, but figured out a little bit how to work it. So I was practicing my HTML, and eventually, I had the start of a blog. So I’ve decided that every couple days or so, I’m going to write in this work blog. It’s not much, but it’s a way for me to while away my breaks. Maybe when I feel it’s done, I’ll put it up on the site and disguise it as something that might be interesting.

On the other hand, my PC is on the brink of totally screwed. My brother keeps downloading crap loaded with spyware, and I have to cleanse it at least once a day. We’re almost at the the point where we need to reinstall Windows again, and I’m dreading having to do that. On the upside, it seems that my Internet Explorer is broken, and not just the internet, so Opera’s working out just fine for me.

I’ve got a lot of things right now that I want to review, but I’m not sure if I’m gonna get around to doing them all. Firstly is the review of my CD collection, which I want to do only to rival my brother’s half-assed attempt. That one I’m doing for sure. Eventually. Some others I’m cosidering are reviews for MegaMan Zero 3 and Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. Both awesome games that deserve reviews. I’ve gotta get back to finishing the Disney World saga, and thankfully there’s only one more entry to go. There aren’t even any pictures in the next one, so I’ll have a tough time remembering everything. Though, I can’t say I did too much on the last two days. Damn. Now that I think about having such a good time there, I feel the need to go back. I wonder how long I’ll have to save with my current salary….?

If you hadn’t checked in a while, I updated the “Who Runs This Thing?” page a couple weeks ago. I’ll be putting up the final episode of Chat Radio on Wednesday or so. I plan to use tomorrow morning to edit it good, and it’ll be up the next morn. Oh, yeah, I guess I forgot to mention that I’ve been moved to the evening shift, so morning posts will be more common in the next while. Unless they decide to put me back on mornings after this week. So, to summarize, I’ve got a lot of little projects to do, and I really want to do less blogging in the next while and more actual content. The blog form is easy to do, but it rather boring for readers. Particularly when I maunder about what’s happening at work and such. So I’ll quit writing this now, and get to work on some more interesting stuffs. Like additions to the gallery.

Band of the Month – October 2004

Computer’s still broken. I cleaned out a clump of spyware, but the scanner’s getting stuck on something and freezes up when it gets so far, so there’s probably something bigger afoot. In any case, we’re halfway through the month, and I haven’t done the Band of the Month yet. I did change the link and picture on the sidebar though, so I clearly haven’t totally forgotten about it. So yeah, I think now’s the time.

This month’s band is good old Saliva. I’m sure most of you have heard of them. As far as I can remember, they’ve only had two big hits, with only one being overplayed on the radio, but as far as I’m concerned, they’re still a band that most people probably know of. Boy, my banter is even more annoying and senseless today, isn’t it? Well, it sounds like it as I read it back, but I’m gonna leave it that way. I’m not going to go through the trouble of trying to salvage this train wreck of a paragraph. I just don’t really have it in me. In any case, Saliva’s put out four CDs so far, and I believe that it’s the time where I briefly summarize them for youse.

First up was Every Six Seconds. An excellent CD, which I never got around to actually buying. I dunno why. I loved it, but I guess I just never saw it anywhere. In any case, the hit off this one is clearly “Click Click Boom”, which probably went unnoticed for a while, until it was used in “The Fast and The Furious”. Or at least that’s what I hear. Not sure if it got much radio time, but I personally haven’t ever heard it there. Just in movies. But that’s not the only good song on the disc. You’ve gotta take “After Me” and “Your Disease” into account too. Now that I think of it, the latter may have been a radio song. I’m not sure. I only listen to the 80’s rock radio stations. That aside, all the other songs on the CD are good too, and worth your bandwidth if you wanna give ’em a shot.

Then comes Back Into Your System. This one held their real claim to fame; “Always”. Holy hell did that song get a lot of radio time. And it’s nowhere near the best song on the CD. Not by a long shot. While this CD is a lot slower than the first, it’s probably my favorite. “Superstar II”, which is somehow a sequel to a song, is a great song to start with. Along with great tracks like “Rise Up” and the somber “Rest in Pieces”, it makes for some great listening, particularly for those who like a rollercoaster style album, with both hard rock and slower songs intertwining the whole way through.

The latest CD is called Survival of the Sickest. It’s, well, very different than the last. This CD is all about rock n’ roll. The first track, “Rock N’ Roll Revolution” sets that up pretty well, and the rest of the album follows up with it pretty well. It’s not as slow as Back Into Your System or as fast as Every Six Seconds, but it does find a perfect little niche right in the middle, and always manages to sound good. At first, I was a little on edge about some of the songs, but after listening through it, I’ve warmed up quite nicely to the different sound of the disc. Particularly “Bait & Switch” and the hidden track “Sex, Drugs and Rock N’ Roll”. It sure takes a turn from the last two albums, but in a good way.

And after a little research, I should mention that Every Six Seconds was only the first major release. Before that, they had one independent, self-titled CD. I’d never heard of this CD before now, to be honest, and I only know three songs from it, being “Beg”, “Greater Than/Less Than” and “800”. The first two because they’re also on Every Six Seconds and the third because I’d downloaded it before. In any case, fans of the band seem to like it pretty well, so I guess I’ll just have to refer you to those opinions for now.

Another notable fact is that they’ve done a few extracurricular projects too. Like the uber-popular collaboration with Chad Kroeger of Nickelback: “Hero”. If you’ve ever played… Well, I’m not sure of the year, but I think it’s “Tiger Woods 2002” or something like that, but the soundtrack is like half Saliva, and a few decent remixes too. Finally, they also recorded a song for the Daredevil soundtrack called “Bleed For Me”, which I love. On a different note, the Daredevil soundtrack seems to be quite a find itself. A little too much Evanescence for me (any is too much for me), but the rest seems pretty good. But I should get back to the topic at hand.

Or not. I’m pretty much done. I guess this band of the month feature just started off as album summaries, and has been like that up until now. There’s not a lot else I know to say about music except for pointing out songs I like. But yes, that’s going to be the end for now. I’ll do my best to get future editions done during the first week or so of the month, rather than halfway through. For now though, it’s back to trying to fix my computer. Maybe this is a sign that I should go back to using Opera instead of Internet Explorer. Well it’s worth a shot, right?

Bugged out

As I get more and more accustomed to spending all of my time sleeping and working, it’s getting harder and harder for me to put aside time for work on the site. And no, this isn’t the “I’m giving up on the site” speech we’ve all been expecting to hear for almost two years now. No, I’m just saying that I’m unhappy that I can’t devote whole days to writing articles anymore. And the fact that my computer is going nuts at the moment is exacerbating things quite a bit.

Time for an explanation, methinks. Well, for one, it’s a struggle to just get the damn thing to boot up. It’s got this problem where Windows breaks while loading and immediately restarts right as the error screen comes up. This produces an endless cycle of restarting, with no way to know the cause. And once that gives up and lets me sign in, it seems that my profile has contacted some sort of bug. Oh, and not just any bug. It’s a real annoying little bastard. You see, it makes it so that if I even so much as think about opening a web browser, the whole damn thing grinds to a halt. I’ve sat through this once, and it seems that it’s just taking a real damn long time to load, but everything else is slowed like hell too, so it’s not like I can even do anything else while I wait. I have no idea what caused this problem, because it was working fine a day ago, and only just in the last 10 hours has this problem arisen. Also curious is the fact that I hadn’t done anything questionable in the last while, unless using BitTorrent to download anime and burning CDs can screw the hell out of a computer.

On the upside, I can still use other profiles to work the internet, so I can still update. But it’s going to be real annoying for me to do anything else I use the computer for, like downloading anime and video game soundtracks. The fact that I can’t access my files and use the internet at the same time is going to really piss me off after about 5 minutes, so I’m going to have to get to the bottom of this one quick.

In other news, I finally got my PayPal account set up. Hooray for me, I can finally buy things online. Only the goddamned Homestar Runner store doesn’t accept PayPal. Or it does and I missed the option. But I’m pretty sure it doesn’t. I’ll have to check again after I’m done typing this. I really want a Trogdor hoodie.

You’ve got red on you

My reviews of “Dawn of the Dead” and “28 Days Later” were rather sparkling, so you know that I quite enjoy zombie movies. The gore, the paper-thin plot, and watching the characters fail hopelessly at making it through alive are all fundamental parts of any zombie flick. Lately, they’ve been changing the formula around, making for zombies that aren’t really zombies, but star athletes and spies that just happen to have a hunger for human flesh. And not since the Evil Dead trilogy have we seen a funny zombie movie.

But “Shaun of the Dead” has got it all. Being a parody, it was bound to be funny, but I never quite realized the true potential funny that it had. “Shaun of the Dead” is straight-up, stripped-down, kickass Hilarious. In between all the zingers and fart jokes are some genuinely amusing sight gags and other stuff that I’m not sure how to categorize. It’s a movie that other movies should look up to. Not since “Goldmember” have I seen a movie that kept me laughing almost the whole way through.

And for the other standards, how does “Shaun of the Dead” stack up as a zombie parody? Well, there’s gore. Not boatloads of it, but when you do get to see blood and innards flying about, it’s absolutely beautiful. The plot is great and you can really relate to it, but more on that in the next paragraph. All the characters are rather realistic. I mean, most of the time, the heroes are regular joes, but this bunch of loonies, they set the regular joe standards. Our hero, Shaun, works in an electronics store, and his roomie is a fat, unemployed bum who just plays Timesplitters 2 all day long. Oh, and having Timesplitters 2 in the movie was really awesome. Best of all, the zombies in this movie are actually zombies! None of this running around and being smart crap we’ve been getting lately. These are your good old-fashioned, stumble-around-slowly, fooled-by-impersonators, hungry-for-brains, dead-if-decapitated zombies. It’s nice to see they’ve not been forgotten with all the new Hollywood zombies around.

The plot in this movie is just excellent. It all starts with our hero Shaun getting a lecture about needing to change his ways from his girlfriend, Liz. You see, they spend pretty much every night at Shaun and Ed’s favorite pub, the Winchester. She’s sick of it, and wants him to take her somewhere nice. So the next day begins and you really get the impression of how tedious his life is. Short version of this day’s events: he goes to work, blows it with Liz, gets drunk and is left without a hope or a girlfriend. The next day, he does the exact same morning routine, but it’s his day off, so he heads home when he’s done with his errands. Only you’ll notice that while Shaun’s actions don’t change at all, the scenery does. He doesn’t even notice, showing how repetitive his life it, and that he pretty much goes through on autopilot.

So he gets home, and then the rollercoaster of laughs really gets going. Ed discovers a girl in the garden and the two go to find out why she’s there. At first, they think she’s drunk, but then they accidentally impale her on a pipe or something, and when she gets up, they realize they’ve got a problem. Then a fat zombie shows up and they run inside. From the TV, they find out what’s going on, and they learn how to kill the zombies: by destroying the brain or decapitating them. So, they got back outside and huck everything from old records to pottery at them. After exhausting their supply of throwables, they get a paddle and shovel and just beat the zombies into submission. And I’ll tell you now, this scene is positively hilarious. The banter between Shaun and Ed is gold, and the fact that they don’t really seem phased at all considering that they’ve got two zombies in their back yard is great.

After their close encounter, Shaun resolves to go save his mum and Liz, and take them to the safest place he knows: The Winchester. And I’m not going to give away the rest of the story, because you need to see this movie. It only goes uphill from this point on, although the first encounter scene is really hard to top. Again, you need to see this movie. I loved it, and I am definitely going to buy it when it comes out.

If there is anything at all I can complain about, it’s that unlike most movies where they pick of one or two characters every once in a while (depending on the size of the cast), in this movie they pretty much get it all over at once. Really, once the first of the team of six goes, the rest will shortly follow. Sorry for the little spoiler, but I was a little annoyed at how it played out. Seriously, I think they all die within five minutes. It just ain’t right. But on the upside, all the death is followed up by a spectacular ending with more than a single twist. Oh boy, it’s great.

So yeah. There’s my review of “Shaun of the Dead”, currently competing with “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow” for the title of best movie I’ve seen this year. It was awesome, and it had everything I need to enjoy a movie and then some. Sadly, there wasn’t any nudity, a strange twist because most zombie movies have at least one breast in them, but that’s neither here nor there.

“Boo!” and such

As you can see, I’ve slightly altered the site to look more in the spirit of the Halloween. I don’t really have any Halloween-type articles or reviews in line, but I’ll see what I can dig up. I’ve got almost a whole month, so it should be enough time to get at least one spooky bit of writing out there. I do have a review for a zombie movie in mind, and that’ll be done on Thursday. Why Thursday? Because I like writing on Thursdays. While you’re waiting for me to pull something out of my ass, make sure to visit I-Mockery and X-Entertainment for all your ghoulish needs.

As for work, it gets a little better every day. I’m becoming more accustomed to actually serving people and understanding those accents that just aren’t made to be understood. I’m also finding myself to be happy while I work (which I never expected), particularly in the last couple hours when the people I’ve made friends with start working. And on a similar note, being the naive and hopeless kind of guy I am, I’m very confused about some recent events. Can anybody tell me if I’m charming at all? Do I have what it takes to make someone particularly enjoy my company? Would it be an accurate statement if someone were to to call me handsome (I’m still pretty sure it was jokingly though)? I once thought I was totally undesirable, but now I’m very, very confused… But you don’t want to hear about this crap. It’s sounding too much like a real blog.

Now, let’s see. What kind of entertaining spiels can I come up with on the spot? Oh yes. Much like I would, I bought a couple of the MegaMan NT Warrior action figures. (You must realize that it’s the collector’s spirit. I don’t actually play with these toys.) They’re of solid construction, and have some neat features. The only problem is that there is one little point of articulation missing in the arm that just skews the glory of being the ultimate toys that they would have if the elbow were there. On the upside, they look awesome posed on my dresser along with my other MegaMan toys. Oh yes, and they all came with battlechips, which makes the little PET game so much easier. If you’re into collecting toys, or you’re a fan of the blue bomber, I totally suggest you pick up a couple of these guys. Sure, they don’t look quite as cool as some of the Spider-Man figures out there, but you just cannot resist the awesomeness that is ProtoMan.

Lastly for today is something very important to me. I don’t remember if I’ve ever linked you to them before, but you should totally go to OC Remix and download The Atomizer and Haunted Hell. Easily two of my favorite remixes ever, and they blend in perfectly with the season. So yes, that’s going to be it for today. I really need some new concluding phrases. These ones I’m using are getting real stale.

Good riddance to bad work

I’ve been thinking it over, and I like my job, but I detest working. Full time, anyhow. It’s just way too much for the guy who’d never worked a day in his life to take in all at once. But I’m not going to give up because it’s a little rough, that wouldn’t be like me. Not anymore. I guess it’s time I started facing reality and stopped running from everything that showed even a slight sign of hard times.

But enough of my whining and revelation crap. I’m gonna start sounding deeper than I actually am. Ugh. So the band of the month isn’t decided yet, and I haven’t made the September archive either, as I’ve been working all morning and napping until like 20 minutes ago. Naps are great. They make me feel happy. You should totally try them out. All the cool kids are doing it.

I’ll have the BotM up either Sunday evening or some other time around then. as for the archive, that’s easy, so I’ll do it up now… or not. But first, there are important things to take care of. Things like links.

SuprNova.org – It’s not the site you need to see, but some things the site provides. Do a search “Mario Big Band” and download the result. It’s a sweet live performance of a bunch of Mario and Zelda tunes. Just the Wind Waker theme alone is worth downloading the entire package.

Halloween X-E – Matt’s favorite time of the year has come around again, and that means another Halloween countdown along with it. That’s one article – albeit a short one – a day. No wonder I idolize the guy.

GameFAQs – Character Battle #3 is nearing it’s end, and it’s looking to end up much like it did last year – with shitty results. Don’t let that weener Cloud win again. Help fight the good fight by voting for anyone else and telling your friends to do so as well.

Shopping for Danger – The third installment in the best G.I. Joe parody ever – Cheat Commandos! How could you possibly resist? Rock, rock on!

There you go

Yay for me! Yay for a day off! I’m gonna make $564 every two weeks (before deductions)! It may not seem too impressive, but it’s $564 more than I was making before. And that’s if I don’t take any extra shifts. And speaking of that, it turns out that my shifts on both last Saturday and Sunday were extra, so I could have had the weekend off, but I didn’t really have a say in the matter. They just told me to come in on those days.

In other news, I finally did that article I was supposed to do last week. This is just my first day off since Friday, so I’ve had a lot to do lately. You can find it here. Or at least I hope so. I have a history of bad links.

I also bought Donkey Konga. God damn it’s fun. And I’ve become more accepting of certain musics. A lot of the stuff on there is poppy or not what I would normally listen to. The only songs I can’t stand are “Rock Lobster” and the children’s songs. I mean, they have “Bingo” on there, and it’s remixed in this “funky” new way with the kids yelling stuff like “Go Bingo, go Bingo” and “You can do it Bingo!”. You can do it Bingo? Geez, he’s Bingo, not Lil’ Brudder. He lives on a goddamn farm. He doesn’t need encouragement. Stupid Bingo. On the upside, there are some great songs on it like “Rock This Town” and the “Kirby: Right Back At Ya!” theme. And, it took me this long to figure it out, but the Pokémon theme is a kickass song. Sure, it’s a song about Pokémon, but it’s got a sweet guitar solo and, well, just awesome music. But yes, overall awesome fun to be had. Even the one of my brothers who doesn’t do much gaming at all thinks it’s a brilliant idea.

I guess that’s it for today. It’s been a nice little break, but it’s back to the grind tomorrow, and Saturday. Ugh, Saturday. So damn busy.