Category: Dark Souls

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan prevailed over the nightmarish Gaping Dragon, and continued her descent through the Depths.

I awoke at the Depths’ bonfire, as I had so many times before, and rifled through my rucksack to see if I was carrying any items that would heal toxicity. I had a whole collection of Purple Moss Clumps, which would heal poison, but only one Blooming Purple Moss Clump, which also healed toxicity. It looked like I was going to have to be really careful about these blowdart fellows.

Upon returning to the shaft, I led both of the barbarians off the edge into the void, to save myself a little time and effort. As I approached  the area where I was in the range of the blowdart guy, a couple of purple, sickly-looking corpses ran up to me and started attacking. I assumed they were just a different colour of the undead I’d been killing in droves up until now, but these ghouls had a deadly trick up their sleeves. They have an attack that consists of grabbing their victim and then biting like maniacs, which deals a fairly ridiculous amount of damage. Also it’s unblockable. You Died.

The third try through, I handled the barbarians and ghouls quite deftly, and approached the blowdart sniper carefully. It only took two darts connecting to inflict me with toxic, so I moved in on him very slowly, deflecting darts with my shield. And then I stabbed the motherbuzzer right in the gut, and he crumpled over like a rag doll. The real benefit here was that he wouldn’t respawn if I died or visited a bonfire, making future trips through this area much safer.

I continued along the rickety bridge through the tunnel, taking down ghouls left and right along the way. Then, in the distance, I saw light. As I drew closer, I could see that I had reached an area suspended far above the ground. It consisted of a dark maze of wooden walkways and ladders. This area was the kind of place that caused the worst nightmares. This was Blighttown.

Blighttown was awful. Everything about it made me hate to more. The place was littered with ghouls and blowdart snipers, and also some tiny dog-like creatures that could breathe huge jets of flame at me. Fighting was a pain on the narrow pathways, and some floors were even so weak that they would give out under my weight, though luckily, none of those sent me to my doom. At least, not without the help of a pack of ghouls waiting at the bottom. You Died.

There was a bonfire right near the mouth of the tunnel that led to upper Blighttown, but it was still difficult to reach because of the winding paths. It was certainly nice to have a spot where I could let my guard down for a minute and assess what I could of the area. I noticed a shining item perched out on top of a wooden barricade, but the only way to get to it was to take a running leap from a much higher ledge. It was… a difficult jump to make. You Died.

Indeed, much more difficult than I’d assumed. You Died.

The prize, an Iaito, wasn’t even worth the effort, as I had no interest in learning to properly wield a katana at that point. No, my Drake Sword and pyromancy were enough for me for the time being.

Navigating the walkways and levels was difficult enough, and trying to find the path to all the treasures scattered about make the task even worse. I managed to collect everything after running around like a mad person and making more than a few dangerous leaps. Of course, whenever things seem to be going well, there’s a blowdart sniper waiting to toxify you, and you have no idea how to get back to the bonfire from wherever you’d managed to end up. You Died.

It took a long time to finally reach the bottom of Blighttown, and it wasn’t a whole lot better than the top. The blowdart snipers and ghouls were gone, replaced by a bunch of different creepy crawlies. The flame-spewing cragspiders were easy enough to deal with, but the giant mosquitos buzzing around were the most annoying enemies that I’d encountered up until that point. They were hard to hit, and would follow me around endlessly, biting me and flinging blood at me, both of which were poisonous attacks.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the entire area was a poisonous swampland dotted with torches, where a safe place to stand was hard to find. I’d used up a lot of my Purple Moss Clumps before I finally found my way to a safe tunnel that concealed a bonfire.

Just as I left the safety of the tunnel, a phantom that called herself Maneater Mildred appeared out of nowhere and rushed me. Mildred wore nothing but a couple lean strips of leather over her girthy frame, and a simple sack over her head. She carried a sad-looking wooden shield in one hand, and a fighteningly oversized butcher knife in the other. She was certainly a sight to behold, but that’s about the most you could say about Mildred. The poor girl’s grossly overweight body and oversized weapon slowed her down to the point where she posed little to no threat to me, and I vanquished the phantom without breaking a sweat.

I wasn’t in much of a rush to explore the poisonous swamp that was lower Blighttown, so I settled back down by the bonfire and reflected on my journey up until now. It seemed like it had been ages since I set off, but what I didn’t know what that my adventure had really only just begun.

Tune in next week for Part 15: Webs N’ Boulders

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan left the sewers to explore the jungle, and slayed a gigantic magical butterfly.

The Watchtower Basement Key was an exciting find, but the Divine Ember was more immediately useful. On my way out of Darkroot Garden, Andrei noticed me lugging the thing around and told me that if I gave it to him, he could make divine weapons for me. I had no use for the thing, so I gave it to him, and had him forge my battle axe into a divine battle axe. It didn’t seem like a great tradeoff at the time, because divine weapons draw power from the Faith stat, of which Morgan was lacking. However, a few updates later, it would prove incredibly useful.

Back to the Watchtwoer Key, I paraded all over the damn place looking for the locked door that it belonged to. Eventually I found it, at the bottom of the Taurus Demon’s tower. It led down into the basement (just like it said it would), and at the bottom I met a big, mean knight. His name was Havel and he wielded a massive Dragon’s Tooth as a weapon. Also he could kill me in one hit if my guard was down. You Died.

Havel was one tough cookie, and the key to beating him was definitely to try to roll away from his attacks rather than blocking them. This caused trouble for me in three ways. 1. I was pretty accustomed to blocking, and hadn’t really bother learning how to dodge when blocking was working so well. 2. I was wearing armor a little above my weight threshold, and as such it slowed my movements enough that dodging his attacks was hard. 3. He hit so hard that even a successful block would still result in me losing a chunk of my health. It was also hard to get a swig of Estus in without him noticing the huge opening. You Died.

This was the point where I had to finally switch out my +7 chain mail armor and Fang Boar Helm for lighter equipment. The speed penatly had been offset by a strong defense until now, but that wasn’t working here. Fortunately, gaining the ability to roll properl helped out a lot against Havel. It wasn’t quite enough on its own though. You Died.

In the end, I triumphed over Havel by chucking firebombs and magical fire orbs at him while he plodded up the stairs towards me. I ran out of stock before he died, but he’d been weakened enough that I was able to finish him before he killed me again. My reward was a ring that allowed me to increase my weight burden, allowing me to wear heavier gear without the speed penalty. I would never equip this ring.

I was much more excited to see what was on the other side of the door at the bottom of the tower. As it turned out, it was Darkroot Basin. Hooray. I decided I might as well explore a little, since I wasn’t quite sure where I came out. But as I walked into a nearby clearing, I heard the sound of watery doom heading my way, and I had just enough time to slide behind a boudler as the water shots crashed all around me. I ran back to the door as fast as I could.

Out of other ideas, I worked my way back through Lower Undead Burg and the Depths until I’d reached the bonfire there. I rested up a bit and then went back in as deep as I’d been before. The huge gate was still locked, and I proceeded into the courtyard blocked by a Fog Gate. The area just screamed “boss fight” but it was unusually quiet. I meandered around a bit, but nothing happened and there was nothing to find. Until I got closer to the far ledge…

Suddenly, a grotesque lizard-looking creature peered over the side, and I backed away slowly. But as the creature rose into view, it began to take much bigger, more fearsome appearance. The Gaping Dragon was a massive six-legged abomination whose entire torso was a giant mouth filled with gnashing teeth. I did not want to be anywhere near it, but the Fog Gate kept me from running away with my tail between my legs.

I tried my best to keep my distance from the creature as best I could, getting in a few hits here and there when it would charge past me. The monster was far quicker than its size suggested, and I was only able to maintain my distance from the beast as it ambled towards me. I ducked away from swipes of its lengthy claws, and just barely avoided being sucked into the whirling mass of teeth. The fight was going well until the dragon leapt into the air. It hovered there for a moment, and I dashed away, hoping to find cover from whatever was about to happen. Then the beast slammed down on me hard and squashed my body like a tube of yogurt. You Died.

I went back right away for a second round with the Gaping Dragon, and it didn’t go nearly as well as the first. While I did manage to avoid a dive-bomb this time around, I didn’t inflict nearly as much damage on it before it grabbed me and thust me into its horrifying maw. You Died.

Taking a cue from the fight with the Bell Gargoyles, I decided to turn human before round three. Not relishing the idea of grinding for it, I used up one of my humanity items and became human again. As luck would have it, Solaire had posted a summon sign right in front of the Fog Gate, and I called on his help for the fight. It was all for naught though, as the Gaping Dragon tore Solaire to pieces before he could turn the tide in our favour.

I was stunned by Solaire’s death, and before I came back to my senses, the dragon scuttled over to me and barfed all over me, which heavily damaged any of my equipment that it didn’t instantly break. I didn’t have much of a leg to stand on after that, and the dragon gleefully finished me off. You Died.

Tune in next week for Part 13: Deeper and Deeper:

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan left the sewers to explore a forest, nearly got pulverized by a high-pressure water blast, and fell off a cliff like a dork.

I was wary of heading back down into the Darkroot Basin, but I had to recover the large bundle of souls and few humanity points that I was toting around. It took me a while to spot my bloodstain, but I finally caught a bit of a break and was able to pick it up without drawing the attention of the Black Knight that had scared me off the cliff in the first place.

I trekked back up to Darkroot Garden, intent on discovering what the upper path held in store for me. I was a bit unnerved to learn that there were bottomless pits all over the place up there too, but there was a lot more solid ground to maneuver around on, and the weed enemies were a big joke compared to the Black Knight and the crystal golems.

Near the end of the trail I came across a huge door that appeared to be sealed with magic. I remembered noticing that Andrei was selling an amulet or something that was supposed to open a door deep in a forest, but it cost far more souls than I was willing to part with, and I didn’t want to know what was behind such a secure door anyway.

To the right of the door was a path leading downward, which led to a Fog Gate and a small clearing off to the side. In the centre of the clearing was a treasure box holding a pithy amount of souls. And then of course, the trap is sprung and three weed monsters ambush me. They are pitiful alone, but the team-up causes me a notable bit of damage. So I ran back to the bonfire in the Parish to heal up before going through the Fog Gate.

When I come back here a million updates later, I will discover a bonfire behind a false wall right by the sealed door. And then I will slap my forehead hard enough to knock myself off balance.

I headed back to the Fog Gate, and breathed a sigh of relief as it dissipated behind me. I wasn’t at a boss yet. I’m not sure why some Fog Gates are randomly scattered around like that; maybe just to psych players out. There were some big new enemies in the next area: stone soldiers. These guys are big and slow, but they hit hard and liked to cast spells that made me slow as well. There were a half dozen or so of them scattered around the large room, and they only caused trouble when they teamed up with the weed monsters.

Pretty drained from the fight, I turned to leave the area and saw… A huge, quivering tree. It stood out pretty plainly from all the other trees, and I had no idea what it’s deal was. So I swung my sword at it, and wouldn’t you know, the thing up and died like a monster. And that was it. Odd.

After a trip back to the Parish bonfire, I ran the statue-man room again, this time having taken slightly less damage. Moving on, I found another Fog Gate. Foolishly assuming it was another fake-out like the previous one, I stepped through and was horrified to see that it had not vanished behind me, and that I was now locked on the top of a rather thin wall. Then a massive butterfly showed up.

The Moonlight Butterfly attacked exclusively with magic shots. The first one wa a large burst that connected directly and cleaved off a goo two-thirds of my life bar, so I drank up two of my remaining Estus charges and decided that I’d have to play on the defensive to survive this battle. The boss was too far away to hit, so it’s not like I even had a choice. The Butterfly’s other shot was a spreader, which was easier to avoid than the large blast, and did less damage besides.

After dodging a few more shots, the Butterfly flew over the wall and came in for a landing on the side. Seeing my opening, I ran up to it and hit it with everything I had. I had taken it down to less than half of its HP when it resumed flight and hit me with another blast. I drank the last of the Estus and crossed my fingers that it would land again soon. It hit me with another magic bolt, and at that point, I’d die if I was hit with even the spread shot. It was down to the wire, and my heart skipped a beat with every shot I successfully dodged.

Finally the Butterfly landed again, and I murdered it with reckless abandon. My rewards were the Butterfly’s soul, and passage both forward and back. While it was risky, I decided to venture forward, and ascended another long stairwell. At the top was a dead end, but I did grab myself a Divine Ember (whatever that is) and a Watchtower Basement Key. When I was done pillaging, I started back down the stairwell but misstepped and tumbled down the shaft to my death. You Died.

After a short trip back to collect my souls, I started the hunt for the door that my new key would unlock.

Tune in next week for Part 12: Back to the Sewers

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan fell down a bunch of holes and faced the most horrible monstrosities the sewer could conjure up, but managed to survive it all.

It was time for a short reprieve from the sewers. Nobody likes a sewer level, especially when it’s full of giant rats, horrifying frog mutants, and brain-sucking slimes.

I hauled my tuchus out of the Depths real quick-like, and started making my way towards the Undead Parish. The Depths are huge and confusing, so I don’t know if I’d explored every inch of the place, but I was sad that I hadn’t yet found a shortcut back to Firelink Shrine. Having to trudge all the way back out was a pain in the butt. Maybe there would be one in Blighttown.

After the long journey, I met with Andrei the blacksmith and bought the Weapon Smithbox, so that I could upgrade my weapons without trekking back to the Undead Parish every time. My goal completed, I breathed a heavy sigh and prepared myself to go all the way back to the Depths.

Then I saw the door across from Andrei. Somehow I’d completely missed it the handful of times I’d been there before. On the other side of the door was a huge ruined hall, and in the middle was a giant stone monster who started chucking lightning bolts at me immediately. The bolts were easy to dodge, but trying to get close to score a few hits was a little trickier. The statue monster had a very long staff, and a single unblocked blow was enough to cleave off most of my life. By the time I was able to fell the beast, my Estus Flask was empty and I was about ready to keel over.

Fortunately, that monster is one of the few who don’t respawn after visiting a bonfire, so I was able to skip across the hall and into the Darkroot Garden. A lush, foresty setting, Darkroot Garden didn’t seem so bad. A couple weed monster popped out of the ground and tried to whip me with their vines, but they were about as easy to kill as the basic undead enemies.

It was when I came across a split in the trail that things started going downhill. Literally. I decided to go right first (that seems to be a recurring choice), and ended up on a ledge high above the area known as Darkroot Basin. I saw a shiny item way off in the distance, and started making my way down the long, winding trail, hugging the wall so that I didn’t accidentally slip off into the abyss.

When I finally reached the bottom, it became very clear that this was not a place I wanted to be in for very long. Far in the distance, beyond the trees, I could see something writhing about in the fog. I couldn’t tell what it was, but I got all the information I relly needed: it was big. I should have just booked it right then, but curiosity got the best of me and I started inching closer to get a better look.

Then the crystal golems came out of nowhere and started trying to bash my head in. A pair of them has noticed me, and I could see others lurking deeper into the wooded expanse. These guys were big, but not very quick, and not nearly as tough as they looked. Fighting two at once was a chore, but they shattered to pieces after only a few hits each.

Confident in my ability to take them down, I headed into the trees to try to lure another one over. But before I could get its attention, I heard a strange noise that I couldn’t quite place. I looked up, and saw a cluster of huge water blasts tearing through the trees. I dashed away from them and slid behind a large rock as the projectiles slammed into the ground around me. Maybe finding out more about the giant on the other side of the forest could wait until another day.

I began heading back up the cliffside trail, and about halfway up I saw another shiny item on a corpse on a dangerous-looking outcropping. I carefully made my way over, and nearly took a halberd to the face for my efforts. A Black Knight was waiting just around the corner to ambush treasure-seekers.

I carefully backpedaled up the path with my shield drawn, trying carefully to block the Black Knight’s attacks while keeping my balance. I drew him further up the trail, where there was a more open area to duel in, and started to fight back in earnest. The Black Knights don’t mess around though, and it was looking like I’d need to try to escape if I didn’t want to get cut down.

That plan didn’t work out so well though. As I circled around the knight in an effort to reach the path leading up and away from the basin, I miscalculated a dodge of his blade and lost my footing near the cliff’s edge. Down I tumbled into the blackness of the canyon, wondering where my bundle of souls and humanity would end up. You Died.

Tune in next week for Part 11: Flutter By, Butterfly

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan killed the Capra Demon with an incredibly cheap tactic, and butchered a butcher.

Ugh. The sewer level. The absolute worst part of pretty much any video game that doesn’t star a team of adolescent turtles. Although this isn’t a turn-based RPG, so at least we won’t have to deal with a stupidly high random battle encounter rate.

The kitchen area had a flooded lower area with a few dogs and a single zombie. It seemed like a dead-end at first, until I noticed a section of the wall that had crumbled away, which I climbed up into a hallway. I chose to check out what was to my right first, and I made it all the way around the corner and to a far door before I heard somethign stomping up behind me.

It was another butcher, though where he had come from, I had no idea. The hallway had seemed empty when I got there, but I decided to go back and investigate the room that was on the opposite end of the hall, to make sure there weren’t any more butchers waiting to stalk me.

The far room was filed with nothing but barrels and boxes. Or so it seemed. In the far corner, I saw a head poking out of one of the barrels. I approched, and the head informed me that his name was Laurentius and begged for me to free him before the monsters turned him into lunch. I shattered the barrel with a single kick, as slicing it open with my sword seemed like it would do more harm than good. Laurentius thanked me profusely and ran his hippie ass back to Firelink.

Heading back though the door on the other end of the hall, I descended some stairs into the sewer proper. There I saw a corpse with a shiny item, and as I went to claim it, a huge blob of goo dropped onto my head and started sucking away my life. Eventually I was able to shake it off and stabbed the thing like mad until it dissolved into the grimy water. The bundle of souls I pilfered from the corpse afterward was probably worth the damage I took from the slime, though.

I wandered through the sewers, slaying zombies and slimes as I went, until I came to a small room with iron bars separating it from a larger room. In that larger room was the biggest freaking rat you’ve ever seen. The thing could have easily swallowed me whole, and I was eternally grateful that those iron bars were keeping it from doing just that. The huge rat stared at me as I passed through the room, and I was all to happy to leave there.

Just outside of the giant rat’s observation chamber, I came across a small pack of more reasonably-sized (but still way too big) rats. There were at least five of them, and they all started running from me the moment they noticed me. Assuming this would just be a handful of easy souls for me, I approached the rats and started stabbing them. They didn’t like that, and by the time I had killed them all, I was covered in bites and horribly poisoned.

Having no antidote of any description, and the poison very swiftly depleting my life, I had no choice but to start running the marathon back to Firelink. Through the sewers and taking the shortcut through the Lower Undead Burg, I sipped the last of my Estus, hoping I had enough to make it back to the bonfire before succumbing to the poison. I dashed down the aqueduct and pushed past the undead guarding the staircase to Firelink, and collapsed in front of the bonfire with only a sliver of health left.

Restored, I sought out the dirty hippie Laurentius, to see how he’d repay me for saving his life. He gave me a Pyromancy Flame and told me that he’d sell me some pyromancies. I didn’t really understand any of it, but bought Combustion and Fireball. Equipping the Pyromancy Flame instead of a real weapon allowed me to use the spells I’d just purchsed, and I immediately felt buyer’s remorse. Combustion was absolute garbage, just creating a poof of fire in front of my hand. Fireball was a little better, as I was able to actually throw a little ball of flame a distance. I practiced by torching a few undead, and then traveled all the way back to the Depths.

I took my revenge on the gang of rats by burning them alive with my new fireball spell. I noticed a shiny on one of their corpses, and investigating it I found… a humanity? This was easily the most unlikely thing that had happened for the duration of the adventure up until now.

The rats also managed to get one last laugh, As I strolled away from the scene of the slaughter, a rather unsuspecting box burst apart and a rat flew at me, scaring the absolute bejesus out of me. Needless to say, I quickly turned the rat into little more than chunks of rancid meat floating in the sewer water.

Venturing even deeper, I found another grate looking into the giant rat’s nest, and pressed up against the bars was most of a man’s body. He held on him a key. From here, I had three options: I could head down a narrow waterway to my right, follow a hallway through a Fog Gate to my left, or head back to a locked door I’d passed earlier and see if the key worked on it.

A little exhausted from splashing through the sewers, I decided to try the door. Much to my surprise, the key worked! And even better, there was a nice quiet room with a bonfire inside! I kindled the fire, and sat down to rest for a while. I really wasn’t looking forward to whatever the rest of the sewers had in store for me.

Tune in next week for Part 9: Who Am I, James Sunderland?

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan explored the ghetto and was cut down by a boss before she could even see what the heck it was.

Morgan woke up at the Firelink Shrine bonfire, wondering what in the heck just happened. It was the quickest, least preventable death that she’d suffered so far, and it only served to make me more wary of what was lurking behind that Fog Gate. On the other hand, there was a tidy bundle of souls trapped back there now, as I’d been saving up to buy Morgan the strength levels that she needed to wield the Drake Sword.

Quite a pickle indeed.

Not one to rush headlong into harm’s way, I sought to explore a little bit more before facing down that boss again. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot left to explore, and the one door that I hadn’t been in was locked up tight. Despite the fact that I started the game with a master key that I was promised would unlock all doors. Oh well.

I did find a set of thief armor, which I considered wearnig for a while. My current set is way heavier than Morgan can deal with, and as a result her movements are slowed down drastically. However, the heavy armor’s defense rating is so much higher than the thief armor’s that I just can’t justify the tradeoff. I get hit way more often than I should, so mitigating that damage is important.

Having failed at finding anything important, I decided that it was time to suck it up and head through the Fog Gate again. That was, of course, after a quick jog back to Firelink Shrine, as that’s the easiest route to take to the Lower Undead Burg boss. The upper Undead Burg’s bonfire might be a little closer, but I’d have to fight through way more bandits and zombie dogs if I went that way.

The second fight again the boss didn’t go quite as well as I’d hoped. At least I knew how important it was to pass through the Fog Gate with my shield raised; the Capra Demon rushes you as soon as you enter the room, and he’s got two zombie dog friends hanging around to help rip you to shreds. It’s an incredibly difficult fight any way you slice it. You Died.

The Capra Demon’s room is also quite small, barely wide enough to accomodate the boss himself. So in addition to the three-pronged attack that you’ve got to defend yourself against, there’s pretty much no breathing room. I tried climbing a small staircase towards the back of the room, but it didn’t go anywhere, and it wasn’t so tall that the Capra Demon couldn’t hit me while I was at the top. You Died.

I tried fighting him straight up. You Died.

I tried killing the dogs first. You Died.

I tried running in, collecting my lost souls, and then pushing against the door in hopes that the soul bubble would spawn on the other side of the Fog Gate. You Died. No such luck.

Fighting the Capra Demon legitimately is is so difficult, in fact, that I didn’t even feel bad when I found a loophole. See, the Capra Demon has one very obscure weakness: he hangs out in a courtyard. Courtyards, by definition, don’t have rooves, and this one is no exception; you can simply stand outside and chuck firebombs over the wall until the Fog Gate dissipates and you get your rewards. The dogs will rush you at this time, but without their master they really aren’t any more dangerous than any other zombie dogs. It’s a super cheap tactic, but given how hard it is to defeat that sucker in a real fight, I heartily approve of doing it that way.

Even worse, your big reward for beating the monster is the key to the sewer level. So really, eff that guy.

However, with key in hand, it was time to venture into the Depths. Right away I could tell that I wasn’t going to like this area. It was dark, dirty, and filled to the brim with red zombies. Some had torches, some bore blades, all of them failed horribly at trying to damage me. The large mess hall emptied of its unded patrons, I looked over the railing into the lower kitchen area and saw a huge butcher chopping away at a slab of mystery meat. He saw me too.

The butcher ran up into the mess, and started swinging his oversized blades at me. He wasn’t very difficult to deal with, though his attack pattern was suspiciously similar to that of the giant skeleton that I was so terrified of. The butcher’s pet dog came around too, but it was slain before it could cause any problems. I sat at one of the tables for a moment to catch my breath, and then pressed on into the sewers.

Tune in next week for Part 8: The Sewer Level.