Dark Souls – Page 4

Dark Souls: Boot Stamping on a Hollow Face – Forever

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan fought a bunch of giant statue-men with varying degrees of success, and broke a really expensive-looking chandelier.

Flipping the massive lever at the base of the spinny tower again, I stood and waited until it had rumbled into position, completing the bridge from the terrace at the entrance of Anor Londo to the massive castle on the opposite side. I scaled the spiral staircase up to the bridge and was ambushed by another gargoyle, which I dispatched quickly.

Things were going swimmingly, and my head was beginning to swell with confidence.

On the other end of the bridge was a massive staircase leading up to the castle entrance. The castle, of course, was locked up tight, and there was a sentinel standing on either side of the enormous door. Being so excited to have reached the castle, I accidentally alerted them both at the same time, and, well, things happen. You Died.

To get back to the castle from the lower bonfire, I had to spin the tower twice. It was a little annoying.

The doorway sentinels were a huge pain, as it was very hard to get their attention one at a time, and then I was forced to fight them on the staircase. The uneven ground made a difficult enemy even harder, until I learned that I could use the lower ground to make evading some att acks easier. It wasn’t that’s much easier though. You Died.

Spin once to bring the tower down, spin it again to make it go back up.

It took me a few more tries to defeat both sentinels, and I always started with the one on the left. For no specific reason; it just felt natural. It was truly disheartening to learn that all that was behind that guy was a locked door. To make progress, I really only had to fight the one on the right. Even then, if I was able to just sneak past him, the gate I needed to go through was much too small for him, so I could have avoided all those fights and deaths entirely if I’d simply been more observant.

Taunting the sentinel from the other side of the gate was not a good idea though, as he was still able to spear me with his weapon through it. You Died.

Spin once to bring the tower down, spin it again to make it go back up.

Little did I know that the sentinels were really the least of my problems. On the other side of the gate was a balcony where a bunch of winged demons were hanging out. They were the same kind of demons that had flown me into Anor Londo, but these ones were much less benevolent. They each carried a spear that coursed with the power of lightning, which cost me a bit of health even when I blocked their strikes. The only saving grace here was that it was easy to bait the demons over to me one at a time. Fighting them all at once would have been suicidal.

From that balcony, I had to cross over another buttress to a small tower. I didn’t see anything at the other end, so I let my guard down and dashed across without hesitation. As soon as I stepped onto the tower though, two winged demons jumped out at me and started stabbing at me with their lightning spears. I turned tail and tried to run back across the buttress, but then they started throwing lightning spears at me, and a person can only take so many lightning spear to the back before they expire. You Died.

Spin the tower down, spin the tower up. Pass the sentinel, kill the balcony demons.

The demons on the small tower had a weakness: they could not cross the buttress back up to the balcony because the railings on either side made the path too narrow for them. I could simply stay slighty out of their range on the buttress, and quickly go in for an attack It felt like I was really getting away with something, but then I discovered that the spaces between the railings were not too narrow fro me to slip through if I wasn’t careful. And off into the blackness I fell… You Died.

Spin the tower down, spin the tower up. Pass the sentinel, kill the balcony demons.

The process of getting back to the stupid buttress was beginning to weigh on me. But this time, I killed those stupid winged demons, and I triumphantly began crossing yet another buttress that lead up to the wall of the castle. Then I heard a strange thwip noise, and another right after it. Then a massive javelin pierced my torso, knocking me onto the ground. The second javelin ran through me and everything went black. You Died.

Spin the tower down, spin the tower up. Pass the sentinel, kill the balcony demons. Kill the tower demons.

I hid behind a corner of the tower and took a look to see where those javelins had come from. Off in the distance, I could see a pair of silver knights standing on either side of the ledge lining the castle wall that I was aiming to get to. I crept around the corner to better assess the situation when I saw them both draw their huge bows. I tucked back behind the wall as they loosed their “arrows” and I heard the crash of steel piercing stone as the arrows hit the other side of the wall.

But the archers did not stop just because I was behind cover. I heard pair after pair of arrows collide with the wall, and decided that I’d have to just run for it. Probably shoudl have waited a bit longer though, as I only made it halfway across the buttress before one of the giant arrows hit me and the force of the impact sent me flailing into the abyss. You Died.

Spin the tower down, spin the tower up. Pass the sentinel, kill the balcony demons. Kill the tower demons.

I tried to cross over to the castle wall again, hoping that if I began my run before the archers noticed me, the head start would be the edge I needed to make it across. I did almost make it, but took an arrow to the thigh and went plummeting to my doom again. You Died.

Spin the tower down, spin the tower up. Pass the sentinel, kill the balcony demons. Kill the tower demons. Get killed by the archers. You Died.

*Sigh*

Tune in next week for Part 21: A Different Approach

Dark Souls: A Twisty Bridge Too Far

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan ascended the gauntlet of traps and snake-men known as Sen’s Fortress, met a ghost, and prepared to fight another boss.

Tarkus and I stepped through the fog wall at the top of Sen’s Fortess, and braced ourselves for the worst. Towering in front of us was an enormous golem made of iron armor. We immediately rushed the giant, and it readied its massive axe. Tarkus drew the golem’s attention as I slipped behind it, where I began to hack away at its calves.

I continued to whittle away at the golem’s health as it tried to keep on top of Tarkus, but the monster couldn’t manage to land more than a couple of hits on my ally before it finally succumbed to its wounds. As the golem crashed to the ground, Tarkus vanished in a flash of light. Where he once stood was now a floating ring that emitted a gentle glow.

Approaching the ring, I heard a flapping of wings coming towards me from above. A trio of wiry demons descended upon me, grabbing my arms, and flew me into the air. Unable to free myself or attack, I had no choice but to let the demons do their thing, and they carried me towards the peak of the massive mountain that Sen’s Fortress was built into. As we crested the top of the mountain, I saw a majestic, sprawling city, bathed in a clody sunlight. This was the legendary city, Anor Londo.

The demons dropped me off on a plateau at the top of a long stone staircase. I followed the path downward, where I came to the entrance to a huge building, with a massive stone sentry standing before it. As I approacehd the doorway, the sentinel came to life and brought his halberd down on me, giving me barely enough time to recat and roll away. The impact of the giant’s weapon shook the ground, and I weighed my options. Running away seemd like the best survival strategy.

I booked it out of there, but inside the building were another two sentinels, so I turned and dashed out the opposite doorway. It led onto a large open area where I could see out over the city, the central castle in perfect focus dead ahead. I ducked into a small door to my left and descended another staircase. At the bottom was a small room that cointained a bonfire and an undead woman in brass armor who called herself the Lady of the Darklling. As a fire keeper, she could upgrade my estus flask, but didn’t have much else to say.

I turned back to the building housing the two sentinels and slowly crept in along the wall, with the intent of only drawing the attention of one of them. My plan worked, and I lured it far enough away from its partner so that I could fight it one-on-one. Everything was going smoothly until I learned that despite their massive stature, the sentinels were perfectly capable of quick jumping attacks. I cursed the sky as the giant’s massive halberd crushed me into the floor tiles. You Died.

The second time around, I messed up and they both attacked me at the same time. You Died.

It took a while, but I finally leaned the sentinels’ attack patterns, bested them, and took the treasure that they were guarding. Across the way was an identical building, only behind this buildings pair of sentinels were two treasure chests. The sentinels in here assured me that I was not quite a master at fighting them yet. You Died.

Awakening at the bonfire, I steeled myself and fought my way past the second set of sentinels. I greedily dashed towards one of the treasure chests, which sprang open, baring a horrifying set of razor teeth, and clamped shut mere inches from my head. I ran with all the quickness as far as I could, but as I turned to see if I’d eluded the Mimic, I saw that it was still chasing after me. Rolling underneath its spinning kicks and evading its fearsome jaws, I fought the beast and won. No treasure was worth these creatures made of pure fear.

Opposite the bonfire room stood a bell tower at the end of a ledge, and in that bell tower was a simple lift that brought me down to a massive bridge leading straight to the Anor Londo castle. Before I could assess my surroundings, a gargoyle swooped out of the sky, nearly impaling me on its spear. The monster was reminiscent of th gargoyles I’d fought against on top of the Undead Parish, and I was able to fight this one without much trouble, as he lacked the benefit of an ally.

The bridge, however, caused me much more of a headache. The center of the bridge was at the top of a pillar: a pillar that appeared to rotate, as the section of bridge attached to it was set in the wrong direction, leaving a gap that I couldn’t possibly hope to cross. Scannig the surrounding area, I noted that a lower section of the tower connected to a cathedral running parralel to the bridge. I inched my way across a conveniently-placed buttress and broke through a window leading onto a balcony high above the cathedral floor.

Of course, there were no stairs leading down from this balcony. I was forced to make my way across the cathedral’s rafters to the opposite end, where the staircase was. This trip was made even more perilous by the half-dozen weirdoes dressed all in white that were hanging around up there. They’d be throwing knives at me as I was trying to carefully make my way across, and I wasn’t exactly the most graceful while taking them out; during the fray I accidentally severed the chain holding a giant chandelier and sent it crashing to the ground. Oops.

I came out the opposite end of the cathedral onto the bottom section of the twisty bridge tower. I flipped a huge lever, which spun the tower around, and granted me access to a small room containing nothing but some inanimate statues and a bonfire. Not that I’d complain about a bonfire.

Tune in next week for Part 20: Boot Stamping on a Hollow Face – Forever

Dark Souls: Dr. Fangs and the Electric Mayhem

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan ran the heck away from a vomity undead dragon, and stumbled onto a shortcut back to Firelink Shrine.

After resting a while in Firelink Shrine, I took the elevator back up to the Undead Parish. Not sntirely sure where to start looking, I walked out onto the nearby terrace and killed the zombies that were hanging out there. It was then that I noticed that off, across the forest was a huge fortress. That seemed like the knid of place that I should be checking out.

I stopped by Andre’s place to upgrade and repair my equipment, and then rested at the bonfire just above his hangout. From that bonfire, I could see out across a pathway to the entrance of Sen’s Fortress. I crossed the breidge hurriedly, but my excitement at exploring a new area was cut short by a couple of giant snake-headed sentries that came out of the shadows and hacked me to bits. You Died.

Running back across the bridge, knowing what was in store for me, I approaced the fortress entrance much more slowly. One of the snake-men approached me, and I inched forward to engage him in battle. Then he inexplicably fell dead. I wasn’t sure what happened, but I’m not too proud to take a freebie. I took on the second snake-man, who turned out to be just as proficient in fair combat as he was at surprise attacks. You Died.

A third attempt at Sen’s wasn’t any more fruitful. Though I did discover why that one snake-man spontaneously died: it turns out that there’s a pressure panel right in the entranceway of the fortress. Stepping on this panel will cause a trio of darts to shoot out of the wall at the hapless idiot who steps on that panel. Unfortunately, there was no snake-man between me and the darts this time. You Died.

Snake-men are pretty tough if you fight two of them at once. You Died.

Not even kidding. You Died.

This is getting a little pathetic. You Died.

Eventually, I was able to overcome the snake-men and proceed a little further into Sen’s Fortress. Which really is much worse than that first room. The next room is basically a giant pit with a narrow walkway stretched across the middle. Above the walkway are at least half a dozen swinging bladed pendulums. Halfway across is another snake-man, and somewhere up above is a thing that rains down lightning bolts on your head. It’s pretty great. You Died.

Sen’s Fortress is pretty much that over and over and over again. Dart traps, swinging blades, snake-men, snake-women that shoot lightning bolts. The lightning snake-women really were the worst, as they always seemed to find good sniping spots. I’d just be casually strolling along and then get knocked over by a bolt of lightning out of nowhere. Fun! Oh and also there’s a mechanism that rolls boulders throughout the corridors and stairways, which somehow always knows where you are and adjusts the boulders’ trajectories accordingly. Just assume that I saw the words You Died at least a dozen more times before I finally made it to the roof and found another bonfire.

One “hilarious” feature of the fortress is tucked away in a room that an explorere might miss if they aren’t thorough. In this room is a treasure chest. Only unlike any other treasure chests that I’d encountered previously, this one sprang to life. As I tried to open it, the chest opened itself and lunged at me, revealing a set of incredibl sharp teeth that were no doubt looking to feast on me. Then it grew arms and legs and started doing hurricane kicks at me. My mind was frozen with fear, but fortunately my body’s self-preservation instinct kicked in and managed to slay the mimic.

After that I just collapsed on the floor for a while and wept like a baby.

The roof of the fortress was no more friendly than the interior. Firstly, there was a giant standing on the very top who hurled exploding barrels at me the whole time. There was another tower knight up there, too. Unlike the one I fought in the Undead Parish, this one was not a pushover. In fact, he was pretty darn good at his job! You Died.

That tower knight happened to be off on a corner that I didn’t actually have to pass by though, so I opted to just ignore him. Moving forward, I scaled the outer part of the fortress, and killed the giant who was throwing those damn firebombs at me. Off on a stairway rounding a separate tower, I dueled and killed an undead man named Ricard and stole his rapier. I wasn’t much for fencing though, so it wasn’t really a great prize for my troubles.

Near the very top, I found a summoning sign, so I used it and the phantom of a knight known as Black Iron Tarkus came to my aid. Tarkus and I discovered a secret cage that acted as a shortcut between the top and the entrance of the fortress, and then we came to the fog wall. Afraid of what might be in charge of such a deadly fortress, I took a deep breath and stepped through the fog.

Tune in next week for Part 19: A Twisty Bridge Too Far

Dark Souls: Dragon Breath

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan wandered in a little too deep and got toasted by a giant lava man.

Bereft of my souls, and not too interested in wandering back into the lava giant’s domain to reclaim them, I decided that it was time to leave the Demon Ruins for now. In all likelihood, it would still be there if I came back later. A little birdie had informed me that ringing both bells had opened a fortress gate not far from the Undead Parish, so I began to make my way back to the surface.

On my way to the Blighttown bonfire, I noticed a large vertical pulley system that looked like it was built to ferry people up and down. I climbed up to it and hopped on. At the top of the lift, I found a ladder that headed farther upwards, and a small cavernous area in the stone. Entering the cave first, I was almost immediately beset by a team of blowdart jerks. I was able to take them out just before succumbing to the toxins that their blowdarts had inflicted upon me. You Died.

Frustrated that I hadn’t stopped by the closer bonfire before exploring, I hoofed it out of the Demon Ruins again, and made my way back through Queelag’s Domain. This time, I took a minute to warm up at Blighttown”s fire before heading back up the lift. I went back into the cavern, now void of blowdart jerks, and found myself a Fire Keeper Soul. This was a ridiculously valuable treasure, as it allowed me to upgrade my Estus Flask to restore more of my life with each swig. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the ability to use it on my own, so I’d have to find someone else to make the upgrade for me.

Leaving the cave, I began ascending the myriad ladders that led ever upward. It was a long climb, and I was consistently hindered by giant mosquitoes on my way up. Taking the time to slay each and every one of them was a waste though, as they were chipping away at my health at a good pace, and they weren’t quite fast enough to keep up with me as long as I kept moving.

At the top of the structure was a short tunnel infested with barbarians, who I dispatched ratehr quickly. On the other end of that tunnel, I came out in the middle of an enormous gorge. I want to say that the ledge I found myself on was about halfway down, but truth be told, I couldn’t see any bottom to speak of.

I slowly crept my way along the narrow ledge, crossing over a perilous rope bridge. I could hear a strange, repeating noise. A rumbling that came and went rhythmically. Poking my head around a cliff wall, I discovered the source of the noise: a sleeping dragon, clinging to the edge of the path I was on. Quietly, I crept closer, and noticed two things. Firstly, the dragon seemed to be half-rotting: a messy corpse of the great beast it once was. Though like too many of the corpses I’d seen during my travels, it was most certainly still alive. Secondly, the dragon was huddled over several human bodies, and what appeared to be a nice stash of treasure.

Obviously I couldn’t just ignore treasure. I sidled along the wall very slowly, careful not to make any noise, until I was basically staring the dragon right in the snout. I started collecting my bounty, a bunch of souls, a shield… as I set my hand on the sword that was laying right in front of the dragon, the undead beast roared to life and Immediately unleased a torrent of purply vomit at me. I was just barely able to dive out of the way, and another wave of icky barf was already rushign at me.

I up and ran away from the undead dragon, hastily clambering over the rope bridge and nearly tripping over my own feet as I sprinted down the narrow path. The dragon did not follow, opting to simply wait at his perch for any other prey foolish enough to get too close.

Following the valley in the other direction, I came to what seemed like a dead end at the base of a tower. Inside the tower was a mechanical lift that took me upwards. I came out in a dark cavernous area, and off in the distance I could barely make out what looked like a flooded ruin. Passive undead were all over the place here, and further exploration yielded another lift that took me up to… Firelink Shrine! Safety at last!

A mute girl here helped me to upgrade my Estus Flask, and then I started my juorney back to the Undead Parish. Again.

Tune in next week for Part 18: Dr Fangs and the Electric Mayhem

Dark Souls: The Magma Giant

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan travelled through a horrible swampland filled with giant mosquitoes and killed a humongous lava-puking spider with a naked lady glued to its head.

I wasn’t terribly keen on exploring the Demon Ruins right away, but decided that I’d at least poke around a bit before venturing off to somewhere a little less flooded with lava. It wasn’t a very long poke around either, as all there was to the area was the hill below my bonfire that was covered in egg carriers, and a ruin wall that I could run across the top of that led me to a Fog Wall.

Thinking that it was one of those fake-out Fog Walls that I’d seen in early parts of other locations, I walked through it with confidence. Said confidence immediately dissipated when the Fog Wall did not. Terrified of what I’d find here, I made my way forward along a pathway leading along the side of the rock wall. Peering off the edge, I could see nothing but lava below me, and the heat coming off of it was overbearing.

I rounded a corner and stopped dead in my tracks. Quickly scampering behind the wall, I looked out again at what had spooked me. A behemoth of a creature was standing out in the lava, just sort of staring mindlessly at the pathway that stretched in front of it. The creature glowed a bright red and looked like nothing I’d ever seen before. It was a vaguely human-shaped lump with a mess of tenacles or spider legs or… something jutting out of one side. I really wasn’t able to made heads of tails of it. All I knew is that I didn’t relish the idea of it attacking me.

Then, a lump on the front of it’s body turned toward me and I felt the gaze of six or seven or God knows how many eyes on me. But the creature didn’t move. There was nowhere for me to go but forward, so I crept out from behind the wall. The creature didn’t move. I slowly started walking toward it, ready to turn tail and run for my life. The creature didn’t move.

Indeed, the giant didn’t do anything as I strolled by right in front of it. It didn’t move; didn’t make a sound. Just stared at me as I walked by. Unfortunately, the path came to a dead end. I looked up at the rock wall and wondered what I was supposed to do. I saw a small altar tucked away in an alcove at the end of the path. There was a corpse on the altar, and I did what I’ve been doing this whole time: I looted it for valuables.

I heard a terrible roar behind me.

The ground shook as the giant came to life and unwound a giant arm that had previously been coiled around its body in a way that I didn’t even know it was there. It roared again and I ran. There was a narrow passage leading through the wall, and I rolled into it, hoping for some cover. The beast’s arm slammed down on the path where I had been standing, sening rubble flying everywhere and knocking me off my feet. I quickly stood up and continued down the path, eager to escape my attacker.

But the corridor on ly led back to the main path, and the giant had already rounded the corner when I got there. It looked at me menacingly, breathed in, and the last thing I saw was fire. So much fire. You Died.

Tune in next week for Part 17: Dragon Breath

Dark Souls: Webs N’ Boulders

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan began traipsing through the rotten hellscape known as Blighttown, and beat up a fat hobo lady.

The lower level of Blighttown was a huge expanse of poisonous swamp, dotted with raised safe spots that came up around gigantic pillars that supported the walls high above. Trudging between dry land was slow going, and the constant barrage of giant mosquitoes didn’t make anythign easier. Fortunately the safe spots were spaced just close enough together that I could get from one to another before being afflicted with poison, but my journey through the Darkroot Garden had supplied me with so many Purple Moss Clumps that poison wasn’t much of a bother anyway.

I slowly made my way around the perimeter of the area, picking up loot from corpses as I went. At one end of the swamp was an absolutely enormous tree. It was surrounded by a throng of gigantic leeches, but they barely registered as a threat. I climbed up a large wayward root to a hollow portion of the tree, and found nothing but a shabby old shield tucked away inside a chest. It was such a unique landmark that I had anticipated finding something a little more significant. Alas.

Continuing my march around the swamp, I trudged along the costal area, taking out leeches and mosquitoes as I went. Following the natural wall of dirt and rock that surrounded the swamp, I came to a pillar that served as the end of that wall. I peeked around the corner of pillar slowly, squinting into the inck blackness that stretched out before me. I couldn’t see or hear a damn thing, so I cautiously stepped out and started feeling my way along the next wall. And then a giant boulder flew out of the darkness and hit me square in the face.

Dazed, I picked myself up out of the sand and one of those tubby barbarian dudes emerged from the shadows. Only this one wasn’t carrying the usual spiked club; he was lugging a boulder reminiscent of the one that had just recently gotten all up in my bidness. Mystery solved.

As I prepared to engage the barbarian, another boulder came flying out of nowhere and finished the work that its predecessor had begun. So there were two guys back there. Brilliant. You Died.

After reviving and exterminating the entire colony of mosquitoes again, I re-engaged the boulder bros, making sure not to step out so far as to alert both of them to my presence at once. Separated, and with a wall to shelter myself from flying boulders, they weren’t terribly difficult to deal with. Without the element of surprise to fall back on, they were slow to attack and didn’t have a chance of hitting me. As luck would have it though, they were just a warm-up.

On the end of the swamp opposite of the giant tree was a huge mound covered in what looked like spiderwebs. There were twisted trees poking out of it at all angles, and the mouth of a cave just barely visible at its pinnacle. This was pretty obviously the place I was supposed ot be headed, but three boulder-tossing barbarians stood on guard at the base of the incline.

Luckily, the barabarians weer pretty dumb, and I silently snuck up the side of the mound to the cave. Inside, things only got more horrifying. The walls, ceiling, and floor were all completely covered in webbing, and there were huge egg sacs all over the place. Farther in were two corpses lying on the floor, each with huge bubbling growths emerging from their backs. It wasn’t until I got close to them that I realized that the bodies were still alive. It was then that my stomach decided that it needed to be empty immediately.

I decided to put the poor souls out of their misery, but after I struck them, the growths on their backs erupted and produced two clusters of huge maggots that immediately started crawling at me. I hacked them all to bits in a horrified frenzy.

It was only after stopping to regain my composure that I noticed that just past the egg-carrying bodies was a Fog Wall. Deciding that it was in my best interest to enlist some help before entering what could only be the lair of a truly fearsome beast, I trucked back to the bonfire and ate up a humanity to restore myself to human state. When I returned to the webbed cavern, there was a summoning sign on the floor as I had predicted. Imagine my surprise when I activated it and Maneater Mildred reappeared from the ether.

Mildred’s phantom either didn’t remember or didn’t care that I’d killed her very recently, and she followed close behind me as I passed through the Fog Wall. I couldn’t have possibly expected what happened yet.

The figure that approached us was that of a beautiful, naked woman. She stared at me with a hungry look as she brushed the hair away from here eyes. Oh, and also where her legs should have been was an enormous, horrifying spider. And she had a huge sword that was on fire, which she wasted no time in swinging at me. The sight was so paralyzing that I only barely brought up my shield fast enough to reflect the blow. My senses then came back to me, and I backed away from the woman-spider while Mildred rushed forward and started hacking away at her.

The woman-spider, Quelaag, didn’t appreciate that, and her spider head responded by vomiting out lava all over the place. Mildred avoided it, but was then put in a perfect place for Quelaag’s human half to engage her with her fire sword. I saw my opening and began my assault on the giant spider-ass. Mildred kept Quelaag busy while I did my part, but even the craziest chubby hobo can only hold out against a fire sword and lava barf for so long, and it wasn’t too long before I saw my phantom parter disappear in a flash of light.

We had already done quite a number on Quelaag by that point, and while Quelaag fought back fiercely, I didn’t have to weather her attacks for long before I finally drove in the finishing blow. Quelaag’s form dissipated quickly and left behind a small, pulsating, black blob. It was her soul, and I scooped it up like so many before it and went on my way.

On the other side of Quelaag’s chamber was the second bell, and the next step in the quest that I didn’t entirely understand. After ringing the bell, I descended a spiral stairway that led out the opposite end of the cave. Outside, I found a sprawling cavern that was lit up brightly by a lake of lava. Off in the distance I could see a very explorable ruin, and right in front of me was a bonfire.

Seemed like I was about due for a rest.

Tune in next week for Part 16: The Magma Giant

Dark Souls: Don’t You Just Love Poison?

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan prevailed over the nightmarish Gaping Dragon, and continued her descent through the Depths.

I awoke at the Depths’ bonfire, as I had so many times before, and rifled through my rucksack to see if I was carrying any items that would heal toxicity. I had a whole collection of Purple Moss Clumps, which would heal poison, but only one Blooming Purple Moss Clump, which also healed toxicity. It looked like I was going to have to be really careful about these blowdart fellows.

Upon returning to the shaft, I led both of the barbarians off the edge into the void, to save myself a little time and effort. As I approached the area where I was in the range of the blowdart guy, a couple of purple, sickly-looking corpses ran up to me and started attacking. I assumed they were just a different colour of the undead I’d been killing in droves up until now, but these ghouls had a deadly trick up their sleeves. They have an attack that consists of grabbing their victim and then biting like maniacs, which deals a fairly ridiculous amount of damage. Also it’s unblockable. You Died.

The third try through, I handled the barbarians and ghouls quite deftly, and approached the blowdart sniper carefully. It only took two darts connecting to inflict me with toxic, so I moved in on him very slowly, deflecting darts with my shield. And then I stabbed the motherbuzzer right in the gut, and he crumpled over like a rag doll. The real benefit here was that he wouldn’t respawn if I died or visited a bonfire, making future trips through this area much safer.

I continued along the rickety bridge through the tunnel, taking down ghouls left and right along the way. Then, in the distance, I saw light. As I drew closer, I could see that I had reached an area suspended far above the ground. It consisted of a dark maze of wooden walkways and ladders. This area was the kind of place that caused the worst nightmares. This was Blighttown.

Blighttown was awful. Everything about it made me hate to more. The place was littered with ghouls and blowdart snipers, and also some tiny dog-like creatures that could breathe huge jets of flame at me. Fighting was a pain on the narrow pathways, and some floors were even so weak that they would give out under my weight, though luckily, none of those sent me to my doom. At least, not without the help of a pack of ghouls waiting at the bottom. You Died.

There was a bonfire right near the mouth of the tunnel that led to upper Blighttown, but it was still difficult to reach because of the winding paths. It was certainly nice to have a spot where I could let my guard down for a minute and assess what I could of the area. I noticed a shining item perched out on top of a wooden barricade, but the only way to get to it was to take a running leap from a much higher ledge. It was… a difficult jump to make. You Died.

Indeed, much more difficult than I’d assumed. You Died.

The prize, an Iaito, wasn’t even worth the effort, as I had no interest in learning to properly wield a katana at that point. No, my Drake Sword and pyromancy were enough for me for the time being.

Navigating the walkways and levels was difficult enough, and trying to find the path to all the treasures scattered about make the task even worse. I managed to collect everything after running around like a mad person and making more than a few dangerous leaps. Of course, whenever things seem to be going well, there’s a blowdart sniper waiting to toxify you, and you have no idea how to get back to the bonfire from wherever you’d managed to end up. You Died.

It took a long time to finally reach the bottom of Blighttown, and it wasn’t a whole lot better than the top. The blowdart snipers and ghouls were gone, replaced by a bunch of different creepy crawlies. The flame-spewing cragspiders were easy enough to deal with, but the giant mosquitos buzzing around were the most annoying enemies that I’d encountered up until that point. They were hard to hit, and would follow me around endlessly, biting me and flinging blood at me, both of which were poisonous attacks.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the entire area was a poisonous swampland dotted with torches, where a safe place to stand was hard to find. I’d used up a lot of my Purple Moss Clumps before I finally found my way to a safe tunnel that concealed a bonfire.

Just as I left the safety of the tunnel, a phantom that called herself Maneater Mildred appeared out of nowhere and rushed me. Mildred wore nothing but a couple lean strips of leather over her girthy frame, and a simple sack over her head. She carried a sad-looking wooden shield in one hand, and a fighteningly oversized butcher knife in the other. She was certainly a sight to behold, but that’s about the most you could say about Mildred. The poor girl’s grossly overweight body and oversized weapon slowed her down to the point where she posed little to no threat to me, and I vanquished the phantom without breaking a sweat.

I wasn’t in much of a rush to explore the poisonous swamp that was lower Blighttown, so I settled back down by the bonfire and reflected on my journey up until now. It seemed like it had been ages since I set off, but what I didn’t know what that my adventure had really only just begun.

Tune in next week for Part 15: Webs N’ Boulders

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: February 2014

Last month was so loaded down with entries in both of the main categories that I managed to forget to add a couple games, which will be included this month. Since I write these opening blurbs at the beginning of each month, I’m sitting here hoping that February’s list won’t be quite so full, but you just never know!

~ Now Playing ~

Super Mario 3D World (Wii U) – Yeah, still hacking away at this one. Technically, I’ve finished the game. I’ve beaten every level and collected every doo-dad, but this game makes you really go the extra mile for your 100% clear: you have to beat every level with all five characters. It may be a ridiculous task, but the game is so good that I’m happy to oblige. Except for the final two stages that are just crazy hard to the point of not really being fun anymore.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: February 2014

Dark Souls: Deeper and Deeper

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan fought a big ol’ knight and eventually won. Then she fought a big ol’ dragon that killed her over and over.

The last battle with the Gaping Dragon had left all of my equipment in dire need of repair. My Drake Sword was even broken to the point of uselessness, and I was going to have to grind a whole lotta souls to afford to fix everything up proper. I began running around, killing all the slimes and rats that I could find, cursing myself for not having been able to avoid to dragon barf.

After the soul-harvesting was done, I returned to the bonfire only to discover that I’d not purchased an ACME Home Weapon Repair Kit. Whoops. And that’s how I ended up running all the way back to that stupid merchant up in the Undead Burg.

Finally, once all the running around was done and my equipment was back in tip-top condition, I lurched back into the Gaping Dragon’s domain, where I was killed yet again. You Died. Only this time, I wasn’t able to find my bloodstain and recover all the souls and humanity that it was holding onto for me. This was the point where I was about ready to throw up my hands and move onto a different game. But I decided to have one last crack at it before giving up forever. Again.

I downed another canned humanity and turned myself human so that I could summon Solaire again. He hadn’t been any help at all last time, but I figured that even if he died quickly again, he would be a distraction long enough for me to deal some meaningful damage to the dragon. It didn’t work out quite so smoothly, but luck was in my favour that day.

The dragon did immediately beeline for Solaire, and I used that opportunity to hack away at its legs, cleaving off a nice portion of the monster’s HP. It took notice of that though, and turned its attention on me. I focused on evading the dragon’s attacks while Solaire hurled javelins of light at it. Things were going well until I noticed the dragon lurch back and start to hack up something from deep inside of it. The corrosive vomit was coming, and I suddenly realized that I’d gotten myself pinned against a wall. If I was bathed in dragon bile again, it’d be the end for me, regardless of how well the fight was going otherwise.

I took off as fast as I could as the dragon started to spew, and I could feel the heat of its vomit on my back even before the sickening smell of it caught up with me. I jumped and dove as the wave splashed at my heels, and let out a sigh of relief as I watched the disgusting pool stop expanding just short of me. The dragon had already refocused on Solaire, and I clambered to my feet as quickly as I could to back him up.

I was too late though, and I watched Solaire’s phantom disappear in a flash of light. The loss didn’t hit me like last time though, and I steeled myself for the final assault. As the dragon charged at me, I rolled under its massive belly and got up behind it before it realized where I was. I spinted at it and sliced one of its rear legs with all my might. The creature bellowed, and I followed up with a flurry of stabs to its abdomen. The dragon turned to face me, and I quickly rolled away as it came crashing down in an attempt to crush me into its maw.

Stunned from the impact with the ground, the dragon was slow to recover, and I took the opportunity to finish it. I leapt at the beast and plunged my sword into its tiny skull, and the monster immediately flopped to the ground before evaporating in a haze of dust and light. I collapsed and laid there for a few moments, catching my breath and finding it hard to believe that I’d slain such a fierce creature.

I stood up and noticed an object on the ground in front of me, glimmering in the light coming in through the ceiling. It was a key. Did the Gaping Dragon drop this, or had it been there the whole time and I just failed to notice it in the heat of battle? Regardless of its origin, my immediate thought was that it probably unlocked the huge iron gate that was blocking my descent even farther into the Depths.

Key in hand, I returned to the gate and was a little surprised at my luck when it turned in the lock. The gate opened into a large cylindrical chamber, with a narrow path outlining a deep, dark hole. Needless to say, I returned to the bonfire before descending into the unknown.

I slid down the ladder leading down into the pit, Perhaps a little too eager to continue on my adventure. It came to an end on a rickety bridge across the pit that was little more than scaffolding with some shabby planks laid over it. I hopped down to a lower level, and before I could take two steps, a huge undead came shambling out of the dark tunnel. This undead was fat as all get out, and at least a head taller than me. He carried a spiked club that was almost as big as he was, which he proceeded to slam down in front of me. The bridge shook and I immediately ran for the ladder. The barbarian was big and stong, but he was stupid; he charged at me and tumbled right off the edge of the bridge, plummeting into the void below.

A second barbarian was waiting a little farther into the tunnel, and while I toyed with the idea of tricking him off the edge as well, I decided to engage in combat, as I’d need to learn how to fight them eventually. The barbarians fought a lot like Havel, what with the oversized clubs and all, but they aren’t quite as dangerous. I was able to block most of their attacks without taking HP damage.

I was a little too focused on the barbarian though, and during the struggle, didn’t even notice that a ghoul was standing off in the distance and sniping at me with a poisonous blowdart gun. It wasn’t untilI was overcome with a sickly feeling that I realized that I’d been toxified by the tiny darts. My life was draining quickly, and I started running for the bonfire. I was halfway up the ladder when everything went black. I felt my hands slip away from the ladder’s rungs and then I didn’t feel anything anymore. You Died.

Tune in next week for Part 14: Don’t You Just Love Poison?

Dark Souls: Back to the Sewers

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan left the sewers to explore the jungle, and slayed a gigantic magical butterfly.

The Watchtower Basement Key was an exciting find, but the Divine Ember was more immediately useful. On my way out of Darkroot Garden, Andrei noticed me lugging the thing around and told me that if I gave it to him, he could make divine weapons for me. I had no use for the thing, so I gave it to him, and had him forge my battle axe into a divine battle axe. It didn’t seem like a great tradeoff at the time, because divine weapons draw power from the Faith stat, of which Morgan was lacking. However, a few updates later, it would prove incredibly useful.

Back to the Watchtwoer Key, I paraded all over the damn place looking for the locked door that it belonged to. Eventually I found it, at the bottom of the Taurus Demon’s tower. It led down into the basement (just like it said it would), and at the bottom I met a big, mean knight. His name was Havel and he wielded a massive Dragon’s Tooth as a weapon. Also he could kill me in one hit if my guard was down. You Died.

Havel was one tough cookie, and the key to beating him was definitely to try to roll away from his attacks rather than blocking them. This caused trouble for me in three ways. 1. I was pretty accustomed to blocking, and hadn’t really bother learning how to dodge when blocking was working so well. 2. I was wearing armor a little above my weight threshold, and as such it slowed my movements enough that dodging his attacks was hard. 3. He hit so hard that even a successful block would still result in me losing a chunk of my health. It was also hard to get a swig of Estus in without him noticing the huge opening. You Died.

This was the point where I had to finally switch out my +7 chain mail armor and Fang Boar Helm for lighter equipment. The speed penatly had been offset by a strong defense until now, but that wasn’t working here. Fortunately, gaining the ability to roll properl helped out a lot against Havel. It wasn’t quite enough on its own though. You Died.

In the end, I triumphed over Havel by chucking firebombs and magical fire orbs at him while he plodded up the stairs towards me. I ran out of stock before he died, but he’d been weakened enough that I was able to finish him before he killed me again. My reward was a ring that allowed me to increase my weight burden, allowing me to wear heavier gear without the speed penalty. I would never equip this ring.

I was much more excited to see what was on the other side of the door at the bottom of the tower. As it turned out, it was Darkroot Basin. Hooray. I decided I might as well explore a little, since I wasn’t quite sure where I came out. But as I walked into a nearby clearing, I heard the sound of watery doom heading my way, and I had just enough time to slide behind a boudler as the water shots crashed all around me. I ran back to the door as fast as I could.

Out of other ideas, I worked my way back through Lower Undead Burg and the Depths until I’d reached the bonfire there. I rested up a bit and then went back in as deep as I’d been before. The huge gate was still locked, and I proceeded into the courtyard blocked by a Fog Gate. The area just screamed “boss fight” but it was unusually quiet. I meandered around a bit, but nothing happened and there was nothing to find. Until I got closer to the far ledge…

Suddenly, a grotesque lizard-looking creature peered over the side, and I backed away slowly. But as the creature rose into view, it began to take much bigger, more fearsome appearance. The Gaping Dragon was a massive six-legged abomination whose entire torso was a giant mouth filled with gnashing teeth. I did not want to be anywhere near it, but the Fog Gate kept me from running away with my tail between my legs.

I tried my best to keep my distance from the creature as best I could, getting in a few hits here and there when it would charge past me. The monster was far quicker than its size suggested, and I was only able to maintain my distance from the beast as it ambled towards me. I ducked away from swipes of its lengthy claws, and just barely avoided being sucked into the whirling mass of teeth. The fight was going well until the dragon leapt into the air. It hovered there for a moment, and I dashed away, hoping to find cover from whatever was about to happen. Then the beast slammed down on me hard and squashed my body like a tube of yogurt. You Died.

I went back right away for a second round with the Gaping Dragon, and it didn’t go nearly as well as the first. While I did manage to avoid a dive-bomb this time around, I didn’t inflict nearly as much damage on it before it grabbed me and thust me into its horrifying maw. You Died.

Taking a cue from the fight with the Bell Gargoyles, I decided to turn human before round three. Not relishing the idea of grinding for it, I used up one of my humanity items and became human again. As luck would have it, Solaire had posted a summon sign right in front of the Fog Gate, and I called on his help for the fight. It was all for naught though, as the Gaping Dragon tore Solaire to pieces before he could turn the tide in our favour.

I was stunned by Solaire’s death, and before I came back to my senses, the dragon scuttled over to me and barfed all over me, which heavily damaged any of my equipment that it didn’t instantly break. I didn’t have much of a leg to stand on after that, and the dragon gleefully finished me off. You Died.

Tune in next week for Part 13: Deeper and Deeper: