Unexpected Inspiration

You may or may not have noticed that despite it having been out for about a month and a half now, I haven’t said too much about Pokémon Shield. There are a few reasons for this, but it’s mostly because I don’t have all that much to say. It’s a stock-standard Pokémon game, but with a cool new multiplayer mode (Max Raid Battles) that is simultaneously the most enjoyable and frustrating part of the game.

What nobody saw coming, least of all myself, is that I would be inspired by this game to try out some new cooking ideas. Specifically: curry. I’ve never made curry before, and only ever eaten curry at white-ass chain restaurants. It’s not a thing that I have any experience with or knowledge about. But when the new Pokémon game included a mini-game where you cook and eat curry with your ‘mons, I decided that it was time to try out something new.

Now, let me note this: I’m not actually making my own curry sauce. I’m using pre-made jarred sauce from the store. Yes, it’s kind of a cop-out, but there’s no way I’m buying all the spices and other junk necessary to do it from scratch. So really, my way of doing it is just to take a curry sauce flavour and then throw in whatever I think might taste good/whatever I have on hand. But it’s worked out well!

My first curry was made of red curry with meatballs and bell pepper thrown in. It was a huge success! Delicious and almost the perfect level of spicy. The second dish was a little wilder: I used a mango curry sauce with chopped up potatoes and bell pepper, then topped it off with apple slices. This one was absolutely inspired by Pokémon’s “just throw in whatever” mentality when it comes to ingredients, and I have to say that it turned out magnificently! The sweetness of the apple was a great pairing with the spicy curry, and the potato was mostly just there as something to chew on.

My presentation still needs a little work (the apples did not want to sit nicely), but I think it’s coming along nicely. At least for a guy whose most elaborate dinner prep is boiling frozen vegetables. My next big goal is to figure out how to keep the rice from getting unreasonably sticky. When I make brown rice it always comes out fine, but this jasmine stuff? It’s like it’s made of glue. Maybe jasmine was a mistake and I should have gone with the basmati. I don’t know anything about rice. Research will be necessary.

So yeah. My life is enriched by knowing how to prepare another type of meal! The lesson here is: Don’t let anybody tell you that video games have no practical applications.

More Pop-Tarts than you can shake a toaster at

Yep. I’m still at it. Here’s the insider scoop though: I’ve only got three more of these left before my Pop-Tart supply runs dry. Then… I don’t know what happens then.

I put way too much time into this one for what the final product ended up being… It’s not the worst, but it took so much more time for me to figure out how to mash those very basic effects together. Didn’t help that apparently my computer is not meant for video editing? Once I popped in a second audio track it was just like “Nah, I don’t really feel like doing this.” Or maybe the old version of Camtasia that I’m working with is just trash. Also, why in the heck did Camtasia leave that weird green zoom frame in the video? That’s so stupid, but I couldn’t find any way to make it disappear.

What I’m taking away from all this is that if I want to continue to improve my videos, I’m going to need better equipment as much as I am knowledge on how to use it. So… don’t hold out hope.

Thanksgiving Food Coma

I didn’t do as much internet work over the long weekend as I should have. I did exactly the bare minimum, which was to upload a new episode of Ryan’s Pop-Tarts Review. To be fair, it is by far the most effort I’ve ever put into a Pop-Tart video.

Oh, and I also added in all of 2019’s Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up posts. Yes, I’ve been keeping track all this time. I would link to each one individually, but it’s each one from January to September and… who could really be bothered? Let’s be honest, that feature is 100% for me. If you’re really interested, there’s a “search by category” dropdown box on the left-side menu for a reason.

Later this week (probably): Another Spooktober 2019 review (though I do not guarantee a video version), and also I have the urge to write too many words about Monster Hunter World: Iceborne.

What is a Pop-Tart?

A miserable little pile of frosting.

Overused references aside, I’ve been doing more Pop-Tarts reviews over the last couple months. Since the blog’s been dead and all, I took some time off from the internet and then decided to go back to working on video content for a bit. I’ve posted a video every Sunday for nine weeks in a row now, which is incredibly consistent for a flake like me.

I was actually considering starting other video-based content since I wasn’t doing anything with this blog, but who knows now? Writing is just so much easier. Anyhow, here’s the most recent Pop-Tart Review. It’s mediocre!

Here’s to leaving your mark

Happy New Year! …A couple days ago!

2019 is going to be great, I just know it! Or maybe it’ll be mediocre, like this Pop-Tarts Review I posted recently. It’s been some time since I did one of these!

I know, I know, the sound levels are way off. I tried fixing it, but my video editing software crashed over and over every time I asked it to normalize the volume. So there was nothing left to do but post as-is. And start a search for a better program.

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 24 – Sasquatch Stout

It’s here. Xmas Eve. And it came so much faster than it ever has before. Whether that’s because I’m old and jaded, or because I’ve been so damned busy, I don’t know for sure. Perhaps it’s a combination of both.

Whatever the case may be, thank the Buddha this friggin’ feature is over.

Sasquatch Stout is our final entry for Xmas 2018, and it’s a doozy. My youngest brother bought me a can of this gimmick beer for Xmas last year, and to get straight to the point, I hope I’ll never have to drink it ever again.

If you’ll take a close look at the bottom of the can, you’ll see that this is a beer with the flavours of “coffee, chocolate, and mystery.” I’ve never had a chocolate beer before, and based on Half Pints’ Stir Stick Stout I am of the opinion that coffee and beer are a terrible pairing. But then there’s the third part. Mystery. I don’t know if that’s them being cute because of sasquatch theme, or if it’s really saying that there’s some unlisted flavour going on here. It doesn’t really matter though, because this stuff is awful. As I said before, coffee-flavoured beer is gross alone, but the chocolate only exacerbates the poor flavour combo, and if that mystery is actually a flavour, it’s indecipherable and also does nothing to help.

Yet despite how disgusting I found it, apparently Sasquatch Stout was voted “Best Beer in Canada” back in 2014. So I guess I just have no sense of taste when it comes to beer.

On the other hand, I’m somewhat forced to adore this beer on account of it’s a sasquatch-themed beer. It’s such a tragedy that such a wonderful creature sould end up the namesake of such a crap-tastic beverage..Poor sasquatch. I still love you, big guy. Just not your beer.

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 23 – McDonald’s Peppermint Latte

I know, I know, just days ago I was bemoaning the sheer boringitude of the annual peppermint version of various places’ hot chocolates and lattles. But that’s not to say that I don’t like them! I think that I’ve established many times already that adding peppermint to something is basically a surefire way to sell it to me. I think it’s a great flavour, particularly when matched with coffee.

So today, I’ll take a minute to honour this timeless classic. I didn’t call it boring because I don’t like it, I called it boring because it’s so easy for companies to fall back on it instead of experimenting with other kinds of holiday variants. But it keeps coming back every year because it works. You can’t take chances any more in the corporate world. You might lose money that way! Just keep doing what you know the mindless consumers will eat up.

Whoops. This isn’t supposed to be a rant against capitalism…

Peppermint lattes! They’re tasty!

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 22 – Great Value Gingerbread Cookies

I was originally going to title this post “Great Value Gingerbread Men” until I realized that it’s 2018 and just wouldn’t be right. It doesn’t say “Men” anywhere on the box, so who am I to assign them genders? These cookie people can be whatever they damn well want to be; man, woman, or anything in between! I’ll back them all the way! You go, cookies!

Anyway, these are Wal-Mart brand cookies, and as such, they’re super cheap. Also, you get what you pay for. Not the worst gingerbread I’ve ever eaten, but they’re certainly not good. Maybe slightly below average, I’d say. What really kills them is that they’re way too strong. I can feel the spices linger in my mouth long after the cookies are eaten. That’s not what I want from a cookie.

Ehhh… that’s about all I’ve got in me today. Whatever. Take a flyer on this $1 box of cookies, or don’t. I don’t care.

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 21 – Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch

I could probably sit here for a while, banging on my keyboard until something vaguely witty or funny or interesting ended up on the screen, but I’d rather just cut to the chase today.

Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is disappointing. I don’t know why, because it’s exactly what I should have expected. What it is, is Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but without the cinnamon. Just, more sugar instead. They took the best part out! Why? What was the point?

Props to General Mills for doing the holiday winter cereal thing. Truly, I appreciate the effort. And the fact that they’re selling it in Canada is exemplary. Unfortunately, the cereal itself just didn’t do anything for me. Especially not with Count Chocula and Fruity Pebbles sitting right there behind it.

Not feelin’ it. I want to, though. I desperately want to, but it’s not happening. I feel like I’ve failed as a connoisseur of sugary cereals. I’m hanging up my spoons.

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 20 – Tim Horton’s Seasonal Spread

Like I said a couple entries ago, I’ve been poking around various fast food places to see what they’ve got in terms of seasonal specials, and it’s been mostly disappointing. Everyone does the peppermint hot chocolate and caramel latte. They aren’t special anymore. If I had to give a single place the distinction of best seasonal goodies, it would easily go to Tim Horton’s.

Just look at this spread of holiday-themed baked goods they have on offer. They make for an excellent photo op, but how to they stack up as snack foods?

Let’s start at the low point: the jelly roll. It’s maybe the second-most impressive visually, but it was easily the least delectable of the trio. I guess? I don’t know. It ranks last overall, anyway. It’s a nice, soft pastry with a raspberry filling. Which sounds great! It’s pretty good, truth be told. The filling is too overpowering, though. I almost want to just eat a sheet of the pasty. It’s just so soft and has a wonderful mouthfeel.

Next up is the holiday tree donut. You know, this one is actually the least fulfilling as far as eating it is concerned. It’s a plain ol’ boston creme all dressed up for the holidays, and I really don’t care for the boston creme filling. It’s… icky. I don’t like it. Not one bit. Perfect way to ruin a donut. But the visual appeal! Oh my gosh! That minty-green icing! And the coloured sprinkles! I would love ot be able to decorate my house with these, because I love looking at them.

Of course, saving the best for last, we have the filled sugar cookie. It’s exactly what it sounds like: a big, fat sugar cookie pumped full of vanilla frosting. It is delectable, but I’m only ever eating the one, because I’m pretty sure that it’s packed with enough sugar to kill a normal man. I, of course, am a little more resistant to sugar, seeing as it’s basically all I ate throughout my late teens and early twenties. Well, sugar and BK Whoppers. Anyway, this is the perfect definition of a “diabetes bomb”. You’re taking your life in your hands if you eat one. But oh man, is it ever worth it.