Hey all. Sorry, I don’t really have it in me to write up an entire blog post. Here’s a CD. I like it.
The open road is all I need
Which is the way that’s clear?
One of this year’s most anticipated and hyped titles was Fable II. I think that for the first time in a long time, the excessive amount of pre-release media coverage actually did not turn me off the game, as was the case with last year’s Mass Effect (damn good thing I tried it anyway!) But yeah, I was totally disinterested with Fable II, but the more I heard about it, the more it seemed neat and kind of like something I would like to play. And it was!
I skipped over the original Fable almost completely, playing the PC version for about five hours total before forgetting about it in favour of games based on consoles that I owned. So it stands to reason that if the original game couldn’t start a fire in my heart, then the second probably would suffer the same ignorance that I showed the first, if not moreso. I’m not entirely sure at exactly what point it clicked and I decided I wanted to try out Fable II, but I think it may have had something to do with the dog. The idea of a game where you have a dog that follows you everywhere appeals to me for some reason.
Oh, wait, no. I remember now. I wanted to play it so that I could be the female character, have babies, and sell them into slave labour for millions of gold. I have yet to accomplish the last phase of this plan. Though one time I did whore out my lesbian wife to a con artist. That was neat.
So yeah, I really like the game. It’s got a lot of faults though. The number one problem being the lagginess. Oh, the lag! I can sort of understand why the game might slow down a bit when you’re in a huge fight or wandering around a densely populated part of town, but why are the menus so slow? It sometimes takes forever just to load the main pause menu screen! It’s ridiculous! And trying to get anywhere else from there is going to take you some time, so you may want to think about whether changing your hat is really worth the three minutes it’ll take to do it. Also the contols are not nearly as tight as they could be, but that’s not nearly as annoying as the menu lag. In fact, I’ve mostly gotten used to it.
On the upside, the game is plenty of fun! And it’s easy to accomplish things! Like Mass Effect, a large amount of the sidequests are shown to you by the game itself, so you don’t have to worry about missing out on the time-sensitive ones like in pretty much every other RPG. That has always been one of my most hated parts of RPGs, and any game that does away with that stress gets a gold star from me. The flashing trail that leads you to your objective is wonderful in certain cases, and the ability to instantly jump almost anywhere in the world is such a time-saver that it almost makes up for the menu lag. Loading times are pretty long, of course, but the areas are so large and pretty that I’m willing to let it slide.
I don’t know what else to say. I mean, I’ve got a ton of hilarious stories and other things about the game I could praise until the cows come home, but I don’t want this post to ramble on forever. I’ll just end it here saying that if you haven’t picked up Fable II yet, it’s maybe something you might want to consider. At least rent it. It’s so much better than the first.
You scream and everybody comes
I have another short post today. I know it may seem like I’m getting bored of this whole post-a-day thing, but that’s only because I absolutely am.
Wait. That came out wrong.
What I meant to say, was that I’ve been mostly out of this for so long that it’s hard to remember that I need to make a post every day, and especially over the weekend, I haven’t been getting to the computer before about 11:30 PM. And Saturdays, of course, I’m only home between the time I wake up and go to work half an hour later, so my Saturday posts have to be done after midnight on Friday night. It’s tough balancing this with everything, but the fact that I didn’t even sign on to do an entire month really helps. 24 days didn’t sound too bad, and knowing there’s only 16 left is even better. What isn’t good, is that I only have 16 shopping days left, and I haven’t even started. Fuck Christmas.
The only downside, ironically, is the stick. It’s made of some kind of horrible, very tasty (in the sense that it has a strong taste) wood. This is not a good taste. Not at all. It’s kind of like licking a two-by-four, but without the splinters. Most things with a something inside have a delicious something in there. This cheesecake on a stick decidedly does not. Not a deal-breaker by any stretch, but it is a little inconvenient. Otherwise, the cheesecake on a stick is the greatest invention man has ever inventioned, and I champion Rocky Mountain for being the only place I know where I can find it. If you know somewhere else that sells a cheesecake on a stick, then by God, man! Why haven’t you told me!?
Doodly ding-dong tick-tock
On Sunday, I will review games from the various download services on current generation video game consoles. Today is Sunday! Here’s one of my favourite games that recently appeared on the Wii’s Virtual Console.
Pull me under
It’s TV time! Yeah. This one’s actually been the hardest to find things for, but I think I’ve pretty much got it wrapped up. I only really have to do three for the whole month, so despite my difficulty in finding things that not everyone already watches (or more importantly, that I haven’t discussed in the past), I’ve made some selections that I think are pretty good.
Actually, I think this one is totally the balls. And I’m pretty sure anyone who is anyone watches it does too, but that’s besides the point. The Venture Bros. is far and away my favourite [adult swim] program (Metalocalypse taking a close second), and for a short while was my favourite show on TV. Actually it was a span of about 7 months, so I’d say that’s pretty significant. My point of view pretty much comes out to: if you don’t like this show, fuck you.
Alright, maybe I’m not so into it that I’d slander those who don’t share my opinion, but I do love the show. If by some random chance you’ve never seen it, I would suggest you get right on that. I know that a lot of stuff I like isn’t great but I love it anyway due to personal tastes, but The Venture Bros. is a fantastic show, and that’s a fact.
The show is sort of a parody on the boy adventurer genre of decades past, drawing inspiration mostly from things along the lines of Jonny Quest. That’s not to say that it doesn’t spoof other things. In fact, I’m pretty sure that every episode contains at least one “Star Wars” reference, and one of my favourite episodes is a complete takeoff of Scooby-Doo. The show has its own sense of humour too, not relying solely on pop culture references to sell itself.
Each main character is totally fleshed out, and most of them are completely batshit insane in one way or another. Our heroes Hank and Dean Venture are teenaged boy adventurers, dealing not only with the streses of villains constantly trying to kill them, but also the awkwardness of growing up. Not to mention that they’re usually totally oblivious to everything that matters. Their father, Dr. Venture, is a failed super-scientist getting by only with all the inventions his own father left behind. He’s neurotic, quick to anger, and his arch-nemesis is a man dressed as a butterfly. The doctor’s bodyguard, Brock, is voiced by Patrick Warburton and therefore is awesome by default. And let’s not forget the gigantic supporting cast, each more hilarious than the last!
I don’t think I should really need to try any harder to sell you on this one. If you own any ANY television DVDs at all, these two sets should damn well be in there. I just really wish I had the friggin’ Cartoon Network so that I wouldn’t have to wait until January to see the third season episodes. Hell, the fact that there exists a third season (and fourth even!) makes me all tingly inside. Highly recommended.
Empty yo pockets!
Eff this. These 24 days of bullshit is bullshit.
At least that’s what I feel like saying. When I comitted myself to this project, I kind forgot that some days I don’t even see my home, nevermind my computer, so yeah. But I shall forge on! Today, reviewing a movie of my choosing. And my choice is a great new-ish monster movie titled “The Host”.
When talking to people, I often described “The Host” as a small-scale “Cloverfield”. Thinking about it now, I don’t think I could really be more wrong. The only thing the two movies have in common is the moster element and the fact that the basic plot is one person looking for a loved one. Other than that, not really the same at all. Even a little.
The plot to this movie, as it were, revolves around a man and his daughter. Also his other immediate family (siblings and father), but they’re just support characters. They’re living a pretty standard (if a little poor) life when one day a monster emerges from the nearby river and starts eating the shit out of people. It spies Main Character’s Daughter, and goes after her. Main Character witnesses his daughter devoured whole and vows to go after the creature. The twist is that the moster does not actually eat the girl, but rather brings her back to its hidey-hole for later snacking. And the story more or less just has the guy hunting the beast, and the girl fighting to stay alive.
The thing to note here is that this movie is originally Korean (I’m pretty sure). From this fact, we can extrapolate that the voices we hear speaking are not the actual voices of the characters. On this note, I would like to mention that the dubbing is very, very bad. Hilarious bad at times. The kind of bad that sort of makes the movie more enjoyable. Once scene that has all the family mouning the loss of Main Character’s Daughter in particular is so ridiculous that I could not keep my composure and broke out laughing. Only after the fact did I truly pity how bad it really was.
Sketchy dubbing aside, I agree with the media blurbs on the cover, and think that “The Host” is a wicked awesome monster movie. Or at least as wicked awesome as a modern monster flick can be. The creature itself is way way cooler than the “Cloverfield” beast by all stretches of the imagination (the lack of massive hype helped), even though it’s many times smaller. It’s fast, ferocious, and pretty much all-out cool. It’s kind of like a big, pissed-off fish with a taste for blood. And it shows up on screen a lot! Unlike the Mr. I-Want-To-Remain-Mysterious “Cloverfield” monster. Sadly, there aren’t a lot of quality screencaps of the thing, but here’s a decent one.
Emptiness and everlasting madness
Thursday is the day that I’ve chosen to use for reviewing reading material. Books, if you will. This might come as a shock to those of you who know me better, as I’m not known as the most avid reader around. I’m almost going to be late on my deadline here too, so let’s get this bitch movin’!
Ha ha ha. Oh Ryan, you so cheap! Yeah, I know, it’s not really reading material, but it’s in the form of a book, so it counts! And this is pretty much the kind of thing you’re going to see when I review books, so get useded to it.
Moving on, I’m touting the Penny Arcade books not because of the comics inside. No, if that was all I was after, I’d just read the website. It’s not like they’ve got a bunch of book-only strips or anything, so it’s all good. No, the real gold here is the extra commentary that goes along with every comic. They’re usually hilarious, and surprisingly often more funny than the comic strip it’s describing. I’ve had a hard time not lawling while reading these books, and that says a lot. And I only have the first two volumes!
The other extra material -namely the forewords and bonus art galleries- are also totally worth buying the books for. If you’re into that kind of thing, I mean. There’s some really spectacular artwork hidden in the backs of these volumes, and while it’s sometimes hard to appreciate for the common man, someone who spends a good amount of his time doodling (like myself) will truly enjoy it. I guess there isn’t much else to say about that then. If you don’t like PA (you monster), then you most likely won’t like the for-monies editions. The commentaries might strike a chord that the comics don’t, I don’t know. The bottom line here would be that if you like dick jokes, buy these.
I’m doing fine
Day three, still doing good. Granted, I still have 21 more to go, but for 2008, posting three days in a row is a huge improvement. If I need to refresh your memory on what category I’m working on today, it’s music! I can imagine everyone groaning at that one. Yes, I know hearing me talk about music is boring. I’m sorry, but it’s something I have to do! I have bills to pay and mouths to feed!
Ah, been a while since I’ve said anything about Jimmy Eat World. Though really, I guess it makes sense. Up until last week, I never owned any of their CDs but Futures, and that I barely ever listened to. Well, I started listeneing to it again a while back, right around the last time I went to Grand Forks. Thought it would be something good to put on the iPod to make my playlist a little more girlfriend-friendly.
Other than that, they were really put out of my mind though. But when I started playing Rock Band 2 and Guitar Hero: World Tour, the tides changed just a little bit. If you weren’t aware, JEW’s biggest single, “The Middle”, is in both games. Back in the day it was real popular-like, and I was one of those hipster kids who shunned stuff that got popular like that, so I wrote it and the band off. Futures worked for me because it was so different and emo-tastic, but other than that I would never say I was a huge JEW fan. But plastically strumming along to the song, I found myself enamored of it, and decided to check out the rest of their work. So I downloaded the Jimmy Eat World discography. Now hold your pitchforks, download haters, there’s more to the story.
I quickly fell for Bleed American (features “The Middle”), and then I gave their newest disc, Chase This Light, a spin. Digitally. The short version is that I loved it right away. It turns out that the title track was actually being piped in through TRU’s satellite radio, and I loved that song but had no idea who it was (despite the fact that Jim Adkins has a very noticable voice).
In the here and now, I’m not as crazy about the album, but I’ve actually gone out and paid cash moneys for it, so that says something about how much I still like it. It’ll never have the profound effect on me that Futures did, but that was a different time, and I was a slightly different person. To be a little more descriptive, Chase This Light is a lot more poppy than Futures, and it doesn’t have even half the depth of the latter album, but it’s still a great listen, and I’m pretty sure that most people with open musical tastes would welcome it into their music collection with open arms, were they to receive it as a certain holiday gift. Yes, that means I recommend it. How often do I review things that I don’t recommend? Pretty much never. Especially not during the most wonderful time of the year.
I laugh to myself
I went ahead and banged out a sort of “Materialism Matrix” just now, and I have pretty much the entire month’s worth of blog posts planned out. There are a few days that could use a little more thought, or things that should probably be fleshed out into full articles, but at least I have a rough draft of what I’m going to be working on for the next twenty-odd days. Also, each day has a set “theme,” which are as follows:
- Monday – Whatever
- Tuesday – Video Games
- Wednesday – Music
- Thursday – Reading
- Friday – Movies
- Saturday – TV
- Sunday – VC/WiiWare/XBLA
So then, being as it’s Tuesday, I guess we’re in store for a short review of a video games of some sort. Hmmmm… I think that today, we’ll take a look at Castelvania Judgement, a fighting game starring a host of popular CV characters.
Yeah, I know. You don’t have to tell me that this is a very bad idea. We all remember the diaster that was Ehrgeiz. The difference would be that the Castlevania franchise doesn’t exactly have all the retards of the gaming world by the balls like Final Fantasy VII did (and sadly, still does). But hey, with the promise of finally having a chance to reverse the roles and beat down some Belmonts with the almighty Dracula, who could refuse?
To tell the truth, Judgement does bring on flashbacks of Ehrgeiz. They’re painful, but then I realize I don’t have to suffer through any appearances by that douche Sephiroth, and I feel a little better. Also, I realize that it’s much more polished and actually playable, then I stop convulsing and start playing. That isn’t to say that Judgement is good. Oh no. It’s a half-assed game, but it’s kinda neat and has a lot of features. The main attraction being beating the snot out of randomly chosen opponents one by one like every other fighting game. The difficulty is up there, beacuse some characters are painfully cheap, but once you learn to use all the abilities the game affords you, it gets a lot more bearable. Almost easy, even.
The other main mode of play is the “Castle” mode, which I was hoping would have a little adventuring, but rather it’s a series of rooms with specific challenges. Some are just beating down a handful of zombies, some collecting a number of hearts, and some fighting another character with stat bonuses or penalties. It’s neat, and there are plenty of goodies to be won. Which brings me to a particularly fun aspect: accessories! As you progress through Castle Mode, you win junk that you can equip to your characters to make them look… well, most just make them look odd. Simon Belmont with shades? Carmilla with a pirate hat? It certainly adds a splash of humour to the game.
Perhaps the greatest part of the game is the huge stride it makes for Nintendo’s online gaming system. Every game up until now has required the use of friend codes. While Judgement still uses them, they are not mandatory to save friends. Or so I’ve heard. I haven’t actually been able to connect to another player yet. Probably because so few people are buying this game. But in any case, that’s awesome. The only thing it’s missing is WiiSpeak support, and it would be the first perfectly (ahem) executed online Wii game. Oh well! Maybe next year.
So if there’s all these great things about it, then why is it so half-assed? Well, like I said, the difficulty is pretty rough until you’ve learned to exploit all your abilities and then it gets pretty easy. Also, the controls are kinda wonky. I mean, you attack by pressing the B button, and use special moves by holding A and then pressing B. It’s totally weird. Don’t even get me started on how bad it is if you try to use the Wiimote+Nunchuck control scheme. But anyway, it’s a half-decent game, but maybe you’d rather wait until it hits the bargain bin. It’s not really that bad, but if you’re picky, you might just want to look elsewhere.
I’ve got aces in my eyes
It’s December again! Despite living in Winterpeg and working in retail, there are some things I absolutely love about the month of December. X-Entertainment’s Advent Calendar would be the obvious one. Oh, and that Christmas thing is pretty cool too, as long as you don’t mind overblown holidays. I also like the opportunity to dress up my website with little snowmen. A little snowman. Whatever. The point is snowman.
But with this change in header image comes an absolutely massive commitment: The 24 Days of Materialism. Yes. That’s right. It’s back. You may or not remember that last year I attempted to review 24 things, one a day from December 1st until December 24th. It burned out with only three days to go, but I feel good about it this year! And for someone who hasn’t made more than three blog posts a month for almost the entire year, it’s a pretty grand claim. But I can do it! And I will do it! You shouldn’t start sentences with ‘and’ or ‘but’! Given that it’s a pretty big project and it’s my first day, I think I’ll start small.
The Jones candy isn’t terribly special on its own. I’ve been eating little candy bottlecaps and other stuff that has the sweet fizzing effect that the Jones candy so proudly touts since I was but a wee nipper, and as far as I can remember, they all taste just as good. Or even better in some cases. I’d take a root beer bottlecap over a sour green apple “fufu berry” Jones candy any day. The cream soda is rockin’ though! The thing that really sets them apart is the sweet tin that they come in. Okay, fine, it’s not super great, but I’ve been obsessed with candy tins since like forever. I have a collection of Altoids tins in my closet that is just a small testament to my love of candy tins. In recent years, I’ve been purging my room of useless things like that bit by bit, so it’s not as apparent as it would have been back when this site was still coated in black. It physically hurt me to toss out the Jones candy tins, but I’m told that fewer people respect packrats.
If that last sentence weren’t there, I’d have a wicked awesome segue into this paragraph, but so it goes. I just wanted to mention today that it’s been a whole year since I gave Torrential Equilibrium a facelift, and I still like it. Though to its credit, I think the last layout lasted about three years, so we’ll see how I feel about this one come 2010.