24 Days of Desire (20): Sleep

You know what’s something that I would really like? The ability to sleep consistently.

My sleep is way all over the place. Sometimes it’s my fault for ignoring my phone when it tells me it’s bedtime. But most of the time it’s not my fault! Not in any obvious way, anyhow…

The biggest problem I have is falling asleep at night. So many nights I’ll go to bed on time, and still end up just lying there in the dark for what feels like hours. Sometimes I look at a clock to verify that it has, in fact, been hours. I’m sure there are plenty of factors that go into this, and I could probably make some little lifestyle tweaks that would help me fall asleep better. But damned if I have any idea what those things are, and double damned if I’m going to seek professional help for it!

The other thing that causes me endless amounts of groggy mornings is my inability to stay asleep. On bad weeks, I’ll wake up one or two or five times throughout the night, interrupting my all-important REM cycles and leaving me exhausted once it comes time to stay awake. I don’t know if this is a genetic thing, but apparently my dad has this real bad, too. It’s another thing I should probably ask my doctor about next time I see her.

It’s not always like this, though. I’ll go for a week sleeping like a baby, but then the next week I’ll be completely unable to get myself that well-rested buff. It’s maddening because I know that my body and brain can work together to make it happen, but sometimes they just choose not to. Probably to spite me from treating them so poorly.

So all I really want for Xmas, Mr Claus, is for you to sprinkle me with some magic elf dust that makes me fall asleep and stay that way from 11:00 PM to 6:00 AM every work night. Maybe even 10:30. I’m getting old, I should probably start working towards that eight hours.

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