Hey so Nintendo dropped a Nintendo Direct this morning out of nowhere. I don’t know, maybe they said it was coming and I’ve just been so far up my own ass lately that I didn’t notice. Nevertheless! They called it a “Mini” but it’s still almost half an hour long. Time for me to type up my knee-jerk reactions to all the announcements as I try to eat lunch at the same time! Here’s an embed so you can watch along!
Xenoblade Chronicles Definitive Edition – Release date is May 29. I am PUMPED. That is perfect timing, leading right into summer and vacation season. Looks like I know how I’m going to be spending at least a couple of my weeks off this year. Not sure how I feel about the idea of re-recorded music, as Xenoblade has maybe my favourite video game soundtrack of all time. But I’m choosing to be optimistic about it! And of course, I cannot wait to dive into the new epilogue, as more Xenoblade is only a good thing.
2K Collections – I think it’s incredible that 2K is bringing the Bioshock Collection, the Borderlands Collection, and the XCOM 2 Collection to Switch. This announcement literally made me sit up at attention and say “Wow!” out loud. Most of these are really, really excellent games! (Hot take: I don’t have much fondness for the Bioshocks.) But I have them all on either PC or PS4 and feel no need to buy any of them again.
Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3 DLC – There’s very little chance that I would play this game already (mostly due to time/money limits), and adding Fantastic Four is not the way to hook me, personally. Actually, paid DLC will never get me to invest in a game I haven’t already purchased.
Shinsekai: Into the Depths – What I’m seeing is Metroid, but underwater. Which is definitely playing to my interests. It’s launching… today! Which is really bad timing. Got too many games right now and April is going to be a beast. But you can bet your sweet bippy that I’m wishlisting it! It’s only $30, too, which is a nice surprise. I would have guessed $50 since Capcom.
Animal Crossing: New Horizons update – There’s a Fake Easter event? I don’t know. Whatever. I’m not playing Animal Crossing this generation. It seems weird that Nintendo is adding in seasonal events as patches. I have a few theories about why swirling around in my head, but this isn’t the time or place.
Good Job! – I adore the visual style, and it looks like it’ll be absolutely hilarious. And again… it’s available today. Another title that’s going to be shuffled off to be forgotten on the wishlist, because even if I could buy all the games that look fun, there’s nowhere near enough time. I need to go back in time and tell younger me to become a Twitch streamer instead of an accountant.
Catherine: Full Body – I really liked Catherine when I played it on Xbox 360, but I have absolutely no desire to revisit it. Plus it’s got some transphobic baggage (among other issues), which was “acceptable” in 2011, but I’m not willing to support that kind of thing.
Ring Fit Adventure update – Ooh! I have Ring Fit Advenutre! And I like the idea of adding a rhythm game element full of Nintendo music. BUT. It’s a rhythm game played via motion controls, and… that just seems like frustration waiting to happen. I do really dig the “just go jogging” mode that’s being added in. Will definitely use that.
King’s Bounty II – The announcer guy said this is a beloved game series, but I’ve never even heard of it. Clearly I need to broaden my horizons. I’m still not going to play this, however.
Super Smash Bros Ultimate – The next DLC fighter is going to be from ARMS. That’s great! ARMS deserves so much more love. But they didn’t say who, exactly. It’s a secret until June. I hope it’s Twintelle, but it’s not going to be Twintelle, because the world just isn’t that perfect. It’s probably going to be that dink Ninjara.
ARMS free trial – Oh, maybe ARMS will get some more love? Play the full game for free for a week and change, if you have a Switch Online membership. Well that’s neat, but I already own the game. Moving on.
Bravely Default II – I was absolutely crazy about the original Bravely Default despite its one massive fault, and though I still haven’t played Bravely Second, I am massively hyped for BDII. The visual style is incredible, and as long as the gameplay doesn’t change too drastically, I’ll be happy as a clam. Sadly, it’s destined to have one huge drawback: no Edea. Absolutely going to blow through the demo this weekend.
Club House Games – Do you want to get your grandpa into Nintendo Switch? I guess this is probably your best bet. Full of old-timey board games, card games, and et cetera, it’s a senior’s dream come true! Except they’ll still need to be using a video game system. It does include bowling though, so maybe Switch is soon to become a hit at retirement homes around the world?
Ninjala – Goofy looking 4-on-4 battle game, featuring ninja kids with ridiculous NERF-like weapons. It actually has really strong Splatoon vibes, just without any of the charm. It’s almost like they’re trying too hard, you know? But it’s free to play, and it does look fun, so I may give it a whirl.
Star Wars: Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy – Fool me once, shame on you. I bought the Jedi Outcast port last year because I had really good memories of playing it on GameCube. Then it turned out that it actually kind of sucks. Jedi Academy looks like it could be a lot better, but I’m not willing to take that risk. I won’t get fooled again.
Star Wars: Episode 1 Racer – Oh wow! I have really good memories of playing this on N64 an- waaaait a minute. I. Won’t. Get. Fooled. Again. (But actually I’m absolutely going to buy this on launch day.)
Panzer Dragoon: Remake – When I want to play Star Fox, I’ll just boot up the SNES Online app, or plug in my SNES Mini. I don’t see any reason to play this game that looks just like Star Fox, but infinitely more boring.
Trials of Mana – Of all the remakes coming out in April, the only one I’m more excited for than Trials of Mana is Final Fantasy 7 Remake. But I am super jazzed that Trials is almost here. I played a fan-translated version of the SNES original many times over in my formative years, and cannot wait to see how this redone version stacks up. I’m expecting that it’s going to stick fairly rigidly to the original, but I do really hope there are some new surprises tucked away in there.
FUSER – What is this? DJ Hero? I don’t know, we’re in the sizzle reel now. I shouldn’t be breaking these out individually.
The Elder Scrolls: Blades – Give me Dragon Quest Swords or give me death. I don’t care if it was bad. At least it’s not as miserably generic as this.
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus – You know, I still don’t have a good grasp of what Warhammer 40,000 really is. Probably never will.
Vigor – What if Borderlands, but devoid of any sense of identity? And you can build a house, I guess?
Burnout Paradise: Remastered – I only ever played the first Burnout, and had my fill there. But I think this is the most beloved entry?
Saints Row IV: Re-Elected – A terrific game in all rights, but I already have it on both PC and PS3. It’s real good, but not three copies good.
The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel III – I think people love this series, and it looks like a JRPG with mech battles, so I’d probably like it too.
Mr. DRILLER DrillLand – Has “driller” always been in all caps like that? Have I been typing it wrong all these years? As much as I adore Mr. DRILLER, I can’t be spending precious time on a score chaser. Or can I…?
Minecraft Dungeons – You know, I’ve always thought that Minecraft and Gauntlet would have amazing synergy. Someone else did too!
Pokémon Sword/Shield DLC – I’m sure it’s going to be great. I’ve already pre-purchased it, so.