One shot is all I’ve got

Like the rest of the internet, I really have to vent about how angry I am at the way Activision is handling the downloadable content for Guitar Hero 2. It’s just ridiculous. Chris Kohler complained mostly about the fact that the songs come in packs of three, and while it’s not the biggest issue for me, I do agree. Each song should be independently available, rather than packed in with two more you probably don’t want. And then Tycho really hit the money (pun intended) on how the things are way too expensive. I could see charging a dollar’s worth of Microsoft Points for one, but they average out to about $2.13, and at that point if you want them all, you’re paying way more than a game disc would cost you. Guitar Hero had 47 songs, so if they were all available in the Marketplace, it would average 7500 points, equating to around $98. RIDICULOUS. I’m not buying shit for that price. At least, not tracks from the first game. If they release some decent new content, I may briefly consider it.

On the other hand, Super Paper Mario is fantastic in every way. I figured it would mostly be a platformer, but it really is just a regular ol’ Paper Mario with some gimmickry and no separate battles. The whole 2D-to-3D business will really, really screw with your head. The first lesson you’ll learn when you start it up is that perception is not always truth. All you think you know about platformers, about Super Mario, even about video games in general, all that and more will be challenged. And if the gameplay alone wasn’t awesome enough, the game is probably funnier than the two previous Paper Mario games combined. Chapter 3-4 is hysterical, as it’s a huge jab at the internet and geek/otaku culture, best of all being that the first half of the Chapter 3 boss is a Japanese dating sim pardoy. It’s almost too much. I nearly hurt myself laughing as soon as I realized what was happening. Oh yes, and Luigi is a major-ish part of the plot, and a playable character! Super Paper Mario is without a doubt the best game currently on the Wii anything, and Nintendo has a long road ahead of them if they expect to top this. Ever. I AM ERROR!

Speaking of screwing with your head, if you plan on playing Super Paper Mario and feel like your brain needs a little warm-up for thinking outside the box, try out this little doozy. Basically what it is is a really impossible brain teaser. You’ve gotta put blocks in a grid to match shapes/patterns at different angles, but you’re only allowed to use so many. At first it seems like something that’s simple enough, but when you get down to it, it actually requires a lot of thinking. I spent like half an hour on the first puzzle and still couldn’t get it. I managed to figure out number 2, but that’s about it. Oh, I guess number 10 is really easy. I got it right away.

Lastly, I stumbled upon what might be the death fo my free time as I know it. Normally, I’m pretty addicted to Wikipedia. It’s like informational crack, and I’m known to spend entire nights just reading articles about characters, games, places, you name it. But now… I found this page. It combines my addiction to Wikipedia with my infatuation with cryptozoology to create some kind of horrible Ryan-destroying force of death and words and chupacabras. Also, after some light reading of a couple of the articles contained within the master list I linked, I’ve discovered that I need to head down to Churubusco, Indiana one of these Julys so that I can take in what must undoubtedly be the most wonderful festival ever: Turtle Days. From now on, that will be my life’s ambition.

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