Film – Page 18

April whine

I started writing an article today, but got bored and quit. Sorry to tease you and stuff. It’ll be done tomorrow. Won’t say what it’s about, but I’ll tell you this: it’s a sequel. Exciting.

In other news, I had a kickass weekend. We went out to the cottage and I pretty much played Timesplitters: Future Perfect and Mario Party 6 the entire time. I also got to play with my grandpa’s air rifle. We even taped a flashlight onto the end so we could use it at night. Ah fun. But the beautiful tapestry that was the weekend did have one small stain on it. You see, my parents decided that It’d be a good idea to rent Garfield: the Movie.

What’s even worse than the fact that they based a movie on a comic strip that is always the same boring crap over and over is that they went and pretty much messed it up as bad as they could have. I’m not a fan of Garfield by any measure, but I hate when a moive tears apart its source material, be it a comic, a game, a TV show or whatever. Firstly, they made Jon a character you don’t hate. They actually moulded him into the kind of person I would love to be. The worst part is that while in the comic, he utterly repulses women, in the movie, he doesn’t seem to have any trouble at all getting lucky. Then there’s the fact that Garfield is animated, while no other animal is. Odie, at the very least, should have gotten the CG treatment. Oh, and the actors really could have used some sort of reference object for when they had to interact with Garfield, as it looks really bad most of the time, particularly when someone’s supposed to be holding him. And to add the finishing blow, the movie was just plain bad. It was even more predictable than most crappy movies, and wasn’t entertaining at all. I would have rather watched Open Water again. Oh. Wait. I did. I told them not to rent it, but nobody listens to Ryan.

Final score: A for “At least Jennifer Love Hewitt is hot”. (but really I’d give it an F–)

Kaaaatamari Damasheeeee!~

Here’s the sitch: I’ve been slacking, and my weekend is totally booked, so the new article might not make it up until next week. I’m gonna do my best to have it done for Sunday night, but a man can only do so much with a small amount of time. It will be done before month-end though. That, I can assure you.

In the meanwhilst, there’s a new Steve article up. I don’t necessarily agree with it, and posting it might comprimise my integrity or some crap like that, but I barely know what integrity is, so screw it.

I know there was something more… Oh yeah! I watched “Open Water” the other day. It kinda blew. Though I only really watched it cause I heard there were lots of boobies. You can go over to X-E and skim through the blog to find Matt’s short review of it. I don’t care enough about it to even start.

I’ve been reading some of the classic The Sneeze, and I swear that Steven is the most hilarious man ever. Plug plug plug. I’ve been giving out lots of links lately, it seems.

Oh yes, and there’s one last thing. Bear with me for a second here. OMG!!11!!1 DS online stuffs! And Katamari Damacy DS!! Imessage board far too much…

😀 …Katamari…

Bugged out: Act 3

Twice now, my PC has fucked up while I’ve been typing out this post. And there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it, because the error screen is French techno-babble. I barely understand English techno-babble. So here’s the contents of today’s post, summed up very concisely because I’m annoyed at typing it for the third time.

-No article yet. New one this week sometime.

–Thing Feet

-See Alfie

-I’m pissed cause nobody’s got this yet. Release was the 16th. Get cracking, assholes.

-Nedstat says people still find me from Google. Score.

-Steven of The Sneeze just sold burnt popcorn for about $43 US.

–Musashi pwnz j00.

Prolonged dumpage

This one here’s kind of a follow-up to yesterday’s post. Some continuation, some new thoughts, it’s all good. Unless you have no interest at all in what I think about.

I was out all day, and again took the liberty of playing my DS all over the place. Today I attracted the attention of no less than three people, and on a broad range of ages too. I’m starting to feel like the Nintendo DS version of that dude from the Wendy’s commercials. I’mma have to get out more, and make sure I get selling those DS units. Maybe somewhere along the way, I’ll find a friend who will play with me. Maybe I’ll be able to beat a human opponent at Madden. Oh yeah, I bought that. I have to say, I made the right decision. Not only does it interest more casual gamers, but I’m quite enjoying it as well. I really needed something different, and football has answered my call.

My next article will not be so much an article, but something akin to this, should I ever figure out how to do it. After looking at the source, I could probably put it together, but it’ll take a long damn time. Possibly all week, or longer, depending on how ambitious I feel. Or maybe I’ll just rush it and not mind it looking like crap. And that’s all you’re getting for now.

I also picked up The Urbz for DS, under my brother’s counsel. He was right. I really like the game. The only problem is that it uses both the face buttons and the touch screen, so you either fumble between stylus and thumb or just use your finger on the touch screen. The game doesn’t really call for extremely precise pointing, so the latter is acceptable, but after being stylus-trained by WarioWare and Feel the Magic, it feels kind of odd not to use it. Anyhow, it’s a really good game. I’m kind of upset I didn’t know this earlier.

I finally found a Tesla CD! Thank you, Music World! I mean, it’s the newest one, which is excellent, but I really wanted The Great Radio Controversy. Still no show from Firehouse though. I did pick up Foreigner’s The Very Best and Beyond, which is also great, so I’m not too disappointed.

Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance is no longer available anywhere. I’ve looked through around six electronics stores, three gaming stores and two trade-in stores, but nothing. I’ve found Sons of Liberty, and even The Document of Metal Gear Solid 2, but no Substance. So here’s the deal. You find it anywhere, you pick it up and bring it and the recepit to me. I’ll pay you the cost, plus a $15 bounty. The same goes for the Evil Dead 2 DVD. I’ve found Evil Dead and Army of Darkness, but no Evil Dead 2. Maybe I’ll put up a bounty chart of things I want but cannot find, and cannot be arsed to buy online.

I found the first season Corner Gas DVD today. I can’t recall exactly why I didn’t buy it on sight. As I said yesterday, I love the show. Possibly even more than Futurama, and I have all the Futurama DVD sets. Mmm, I love material posessions.

I can’t eat 40 timbits without getting sick. I’m a sham of a man.

The problem with me constantly buying CDs (aside from the rapidly depleting storage space) is that I’m never going to get around to doing that article on my CD colleciton. Maybe it’ll have to go under the pseudo-articles and be updated as new discs come and (God forbid) go.

That’s all for today. I’ll try not to bog down the blog with so much impertinent information during the next week. I’ve got the weekend off, so I’ll be making sure I devote (at least) Saturday to article production. That is, if I’m not too wrapped up in Samurai Legend Musashi. Two days, baby.

Starting from zero, got nothing to lose

The February archive is now up. Or, it will be shortly after this post is completed. Maybe I shoulda done that first. Oops.

I’m not sure if I ever mentioned, but I saw Jacob’s Ladder a while back. It seems a bit of an obscure title, and you know how I love the obscure. Truth be told though, I only hunted it down because I heard that the Silent Hill games draw a portion of their creepiness from it. And boy, is it true. Well, it’s not quite as big an influence as I was led to believe, but you can definitely see the similarities. Oh, and it was a pretty good movie as well. Confusing as all Hell until the end (which was a cop-out to boot), but I would certainly recommend it to those who like movies that are out of the ordinary. Oh, and if you didn’t know by the title, you probably wouldn’t pick up on it anyway, but there are lots of biblical references here. Good movie. Wouldn’t buy it, but good movie. It’s really hard to find, but there’s a torrent for it over at Novatina. It’s under “mystery”, but it’s really more of a thriller. Not that I’m championing piracy or anything…

On a related topic, I got Silent Hill 3 and 4 the other day. I’m about halfway through 3 and haven’t even started 4 yet. Such good games, and the only ones I cannot play with the lights off, even with my newfound policy of facing my fears. Creepy stuff. And the best part is that I got ’em for $15 and $25, respectively. I picked up I-Ninja for $10 as well. It’s totally worth $10. this whole “buying preowned games” thing is working out really well for me and my wallet. Three good, slightly used games for less than one new one? Sounds like a killer deal to me. And as an added surprise, SH3 comes with the soundtrack packaged in! I didn’t know that! Ah, material posessions: my one true love.

Oh yeah, and I updated my profile page, for those who care. While I’m at it, I’ll mention that I lost like seven pounds over the last week. This is alarming, because I was in no way trying to lose weight. All these people on TV working so hard to drop the fat, and then I come along and start losing it without even trying. Ah irony, thou art a snide bastard indeed.

The mouth opens, but the words won’t come out

Another milestone has come about. I’ve recorded 2000 hits. Shazam. Sometimes I really wonder why I bother.

Gah. And to think I was so excited about my first thousand hits that I wrote a freaking article. And this time it means nothing to me. I mean, I’m writing one for the weekend (hoping for Sunday here), but that was gonna happen anyway. I’ve just been a little bipolar lately, so maybe I’ll be enthused about it tomorrow. I don’t know. Right now I just dread having to go to work tomorrow, a feeling that hasn’t come over me for a couple weeks now. I really should have posted yesterday… I was in a good mood then.

Oh, there is one positive note on my agenda. I saw “Harold and Kumar go to White Castle” the other night, and I was pleased. It wasn’t great, but it was easily worth my time. There were a couple hilarious lines, and a lot of boobies. You know, forget what I said before. It was a great movie. I might even buy it. Man, I wish I was watching it right now… The only real problem with it is that it left me with a serious case of the munchies. A real hankerin’ for somma those little burgers.

So yeah, I might have an article up for yah’s this weekend. If it’s not there by Sunday night, that means I’ve got a date, suckas. (Though in that scenario, unlikely as it may be, it should be up on Tuesday at latest.) Yeah, I wanted to be more subtle with that one, but wording isn’t my strong suit. Oh well, wish me luck. I’ll need all I can get.

Making loud noises!

I watched Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy for the second time this morning, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s frickin’ hilarious. It’s a perfect blend of idiot humour and man humour (which some may believe to be one and the same), and that’s why I love it so. It’s nice to see that some of Hollywood is still devoted to making a great dumbass movie. While I like adventure, action, and a more sophistocated comedy, nothing gets to me quite like the idiot humour. Brick Tambland is one of the funniest characters I can think of, and the cast is great. Tons of familiar faces, most notably Will Ferrel and Vince Vaughn. But it’s nice to see other great actors playing bit roles, such as Tim Robbins and Jack Black. Ah, such a great movie, and so damn many quotes to go with it. “Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.” “Don’t act like you’re not impressed.”

Oh yes, and in a strange turn of events, I, of all people, got athlete’s foot. I know it hasn’t got anything to do with being an athlete, but it’s still kinda funny if you don’t think about it too much. Uh, it’s actually been a week or so now, and it’s mostly gone, but I figured it was something you might find funny, if not a bit gross.

I also got my first taste of a Charleston Chew today, and I have to say that it must be the candy that God eats. It’s just so delicious and chewy. Just slightly less chewy than a good taffy. I dare you to provide a candy better than the Charleston Chew. DARE YOU. I’ve seen the light, and am convinced that a superior candy bar could not exist.

And on a side note, I fixed the link at the end of the previous post. Enjoy.

It’s (still) aliiiiive!!

Not much to mention today other than the newest installment of the Work Blog is up. It’s called the December 2004 Edition, but it’s really not. It’s not even the Work Blog anymore, really. At least it’s a little more interesting than the first two entries. And it’s got four pictures.

If that’s not enough, I have a very short movie review for you. Here goes. “The Grudge” blows monkey nuts. The story is totally crap, with very little explanation of why stuff is happening, and lacks any ending at all. It doesn’t even hint at a sequel. The characters are all the dumbingest asses ever conceptualized, as they never, ever learn from their own or anyone else’s mistakes. They take the most obvious bait, and pretty much all end up dead because they’re fucking morons. And what’s worse, they all got scared to death. Only one of them actually got murdered, and that was just to open the “plot”. None of them even tried to defend themselves against the “zombies” (they really lack solid description), and instead just died huddled in puddles of their own bodily excretions. Oh wait, one of them just got sucked into nothingness. See, a zombie was chasing her, and she huddled under her covers. The zombie appeared under them, she got sucked under, and then they both just disappeared without even a hint of a plausible explanation. Urgh. It’s frustrating how terrible this movies is. At times it’s fun to laugh at, but most of the time it just makes your head hurt with its frivolous time-jumps and lack of any explanation of anything. I’d say you’d be a better person not to see it, but everyone should see it just so that the entire population of the world learns what a movie should not be like. I’m very disappointed in you, Sam Raimi. Such a respectable name associated with this filth… “The Grudge” killed at least thirty of my best brain cells.

But on the brighter side, I found and purchased all three TMNT movie DVDs today. I am contented to no end. Hooray for me.

Oh yes, and I was tolerant of the PSP before, but now I hate it because the president of SCE is a fucking egomaniacal douchebag. I’m not trying to tell you what to think, but read on and come to your own conclusions.

Ow! My freaking ears!

I just spent the last 47 minutes listening to The Killers’ CD, Hot Fuss, and I can’t say that I’m overly impressed. While their big hit “Somebody Told Me” is a kickass song, I just can’t say the same for the rest of the disc. I assume that they’re an acquired taste, and if I listened to it a few more times I might get to like it, but I have other music that I know I like so I don’t think The Killers will be making it into my library anytime soon. Thank God I listened to the CD before buying it. Ths is a prime lesson in why you should never buy a CD until you’ve heard at least half the songs. I’mma go listen to Tesla now.

So… What else have I done lately? Oh, I downloaded the Rockman X8 PC demo today. you can find it here if you feel like giving it a spin. Just scroll down and hit the big red button. I was impressed by it, mostly because it’s so much better than X7 (which even I’ll admit was pretty sad). The only thing that disappointed me is that I doesn’t have any gamepad support. Or I’m just a dumbass and couldn’t figure out how to enable it (EDIT 9:10PM: Yep, I’m a dumbass. Found the option…). It’s got one helluva Capcom logo animation. I recommend downloading it just for that.

Shit, Sky Captain comes out tomorrow! I’m totally hyped. I love that movie so much. I guess that’s it for today. I’ll do some article work tomorrow. Maybe even get one done. Who knows.

Noteworthy

A short while back I got fed up with having like 7 BitTornado windows open at once, and finally got around to installing this program called Azureus. Good stuff. Hold on, I’m going somewhere with this. so I’m looking for “test subjects” down at the old torrent dump, and I come across a peculiar anime movie called “Sonic Adventure 2”. I’m like “Hey, that’s a game, not a movie!” And I downloaded it because I like and own the game. Impressions are as follows.

It was indeed an anime movie based on the Sonic Adventure 2 game. I was shocked, because I was sure I would have heard of such a thing. Anyhow, it’s surely a movie of the Sonic X anime, which is very, very loosely based on the first Sonic Adventure game. Only, the anime introduces many new characters and of course, takes away a lot of element from the games. So if you’re still following me, the movie’s story is that of the game, but changes just enough to make it fit in with the anime’s plot. And as I can only assume (because I stopped following the Sonic X anime and pretty much anything I was watching when I started working), the movie introduces several plot points and characters, which will carry over into the anime with no explaination, leaving all of us who live outside of Japan to wonder what’s going on. Only I’m on the inside now, because I’ve seen the movie.

With that moderately confusing paragraph behind us, let’s discuss some other stuff about this particular movie, shall we? The thing that I first noticed is that opposite to all toon-to-movies I’ve seen in my time, the animation in Sonic Adventure 2 is inferior to that of Sonic X. In fact the overall quality was somewhat lower than I would expect, leading me to beleive that no-one involved with Sonic X had anything to do with this movie. Of course, I’m not going to research this at all, so if you can tell me different, go right ahead. My E-Mail address is at the bottom of the sidebar. Also noted was that they managed to keep all the main ideas of the game’s story mostly intact. While a bunch of anime-exclusive character story was added and intertwined with the base story, they also did a pretty good job of explaining the main plot, whereas the game left you kinda confused at several points. Of course, it was somewhat connected with the Sonic X story, so if you hadn’t been watching that, you might be left in the dark on several occasions. Lastly, the subtitles were pretty poor. they were there and all, but the translators were clearly not that proficient in English, as the Engrish is piled on throughout.

Other interesting news bits for this update include: Mike has re-arranged his website. Again. It once again has content on it, much to my delight. The last couple incarnations did not, so it makes for a nice change. Steve also writes for this website, and it features a message board much like my own. I would urge you to post at either, but you’re really better off at the Mists of Avalon Online forum. More people, and they actually post every once in a while.

The full version of the Rockman.EXE Stream anime opening theme, Be Somewhere, has been released. Find it from here. While we’re talking of anime themes, you can download the opening and ending themes of the Viewtiful Joe anime at this website. You’ll have to sign up if you want them, but they’re not great, so unless you’re a huge VJ fan like m’self…

And as much as I hate relying on Gorillamask for things to post about (I try to find stuff myself, but I don’t have hundreds of people e-mailing me things they find interesting every day), here’s a nerd test. Take it, see how much of a nerd you are. Apparently, i’m barely a nerd at all. I was slightly surprised, but I guess I’m just more anti-social than nerdy.