Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan began traipsing through the rotten hellscape known as Blighttown, and beat up a fat hobo lady.
The lower level of Blighttown was a huge expanse of poisonous swamp, dotted with raised safe spots that came up around gigantic pillars that supported the walls high above. Trudging between dry land was slow going, and the constant barrage of giant mosquitoes didn’t make anythign easier. Fortunately the safe spots were spaced just close enough together that I could get from one to another before being afflicted with poison, but my journey through the Darkroot Garden had supplied me with so many Purple Moss Clumps that poison wasn’t much of a bother anyway.
I slowly made my way around the perimeter of the area, picking up loot from corpses as I went. At one end of the swamp was an absolutely enormous tree. It was surrounded by a throng of gigantic leeches, but they barely registered as a threat. I climbed up a large wayward root to a hollow portion of the tree, and found nothing but a shabby old shield tucked away inside a chest. It was such a unique landmark that I had anticipated finding something a little more significant. Alas.
Continuing my march around the swamp, I trudged along the costal area, taking out leeches and mosquitoes as I went. Following the natural wall of dirt and rock that surrounded the swamp, I came to a pillar that served as the end of that wall. I peeked around the corner of pillar slowly, squinting into the inck blackness that stretched out before me. I couldn’t see or hear a damn thing, so I cautiously stepped out and started feeling my way along the next wall. And then a giant boulder flew out of the darkness and hit me square in the face.
Dazed, I picked myself up out of the sand and one of those tubby barbarian dudes emerged from the shadows. Only this one wasn’t carrying the usual spiked club; he was lugging a boulder reminiscent of the one that had just recently gotten all up in my bidness. Mystery solved.
As I prepared to engage the barbarian, another boulder came flying out of nowhere and finished the work that its predecessor had begun. So there were two guys back there. Brilliant. You Died.
After reviving and exterminating the entire colony of mosquitoes again, I re-engaged the boulder bros, making sure not to step out so far as to alert both of them to my presence at once. Separated, and with a wall to shelter myself from flying boulders, they weren’t terribly difficult to deal with. Without the element of surprise to fall back on, they were slow to attack and didn’t have a chance of hitting me. As luck would have it though, they were just a warm-up.
On the end of the swamp opposite of the giant tree was a huge mound covered in what looked like spiderwebs. There were twisted trees poking out of it at all angles, and the mouth of a cave just barely visible at its pinnacle. This was pretty obviously the place I was supposed ot be headed, but three boulder-tossing barbarians stood on guard at the base of the incline.
Luckily, the barabarians weer pretty dumb, and I silently snuck up the side of the mound to the cave. Inside, things only got more horrifying. The walls, ceiling, and floor were all completely covered in webbing, and there were huge egg sacs all over the place. Farther in were two corpses lying on the floor, each with huge bubbling growths emerging from their backs. It wasn’t until I got close to them that I realized that the bodies were still alive. It was then that my stomach decided that it needed to be empty immediately.
I decided to put the poor souls out of their misery, but after I struck them, the growths on their backs erupted and produced two clusters of huge maggots that immediately started crawling at me. I hacked them all to bits in a horrified frenzy.
It was only after stopping to regain my composure that I noticed that just past the egg-carrying bodies was a Fog Wall. Deciding that it was in my best interest to enlist some help before entering what could only be the lair of a truly fearsome beast, I trucked back to the bonfire and ate up a humanity to restore myself to human state. When I returned to the webbed cavern, there was a summoning sign on the floor as I had predicted. Imagine my surprise when I activated it and Maneater Mildred reappeared from the ether.
Mildred’s phantom either didn’t remember or didn’t care that I’d killed her very recently, and she followed close behind me as I passed through the Fog Wall. I couldn’t have possibly expected what happened yet.
The figure that approached us was that of a beautiful, naked woman. She stared at me with a hungry look as she brushed the hair away from here eyes. Oh, and also where her legs should have been was an enormous, horrifying spider. And she had a huge sword that was on fire, which she wasted no time in swinging at me. The sight was so paralyzing that I only barely brought up my shield fast enough to reflect the blow. My senses then came back to me, and I backed away from the woman-spider while Mildred rushed forward and started hacking away at her.
The woman-spider, Quelaag, didn’t appreciate that, and her spider head responded by vomiting out lava all over the place. Mildred avoided it, but was then put in a perfect place for Quelaag’s human half to engage her with her fire sword. I saw my opening and began my assault on the giant spider-ass. Mildred kept Quelaag busy while I did my part, but even the craziest chubby hobo can only hold out against a fire sword and lava barf for so long, and it wasn’t too long before I saw my phantom parter disappear in a flash of light.
We had already done quite a number on Quelaag by that point, and while Quelaag fought back fiercely, I didn’t have to weather her attacks for long before I finally drove in the finishing blow. Quelaag’s form dissipated quickly and left behind a small, pulsating, black blob. It was her soul, and I scooped it up like so many before it and went on my way.
On the other side of Quelaag’s chamber was the second bell, and the next step in the quest that I didn’t entirely understand. After ringing the bell, I descended a spiral stairway that led out the opposite end of the cave. Outside, I found a sprawling cavern that was lit up brightly by a lake of lava. Off in the distance I could see a very explorable ruin, and right in front of me was a bonfire.
Seemed like I was about due for a rest.
Tune in next week for Part 16: The Magma Giant