Category: Foodstuffs

New-ish Territory

Did you know that hamburgers are probably my favourite food? There’s so much delicious food out there, it’s hard to really narrow it down to one absolute favourite. If nothing else though, I eat hamburgers more than anything else. Lately it’s become something of a Friday night ritual for me to scour my food delivery apps and order a burger from a restaurant that I haven’t tried before. Or just BK. It’s quite often BK.

Despite this, I’d never actually made my own hamburgers until last week. And of course, that was the perfect opportunity to try doing something totally new for my YouTube channel. Did it work? Ehhh, not really. You couldn’t throw a stone without hitting a better way to spend fifteen minutes. But at least I’m trying new things! Both in the kitchen and on the interweb. So that’s like a twofer right there.

Quantity Over Quality

Here’s a fun fact: I have now recorded and posted 70 Pop-Tarts review videos on the internet for the general public to watch. That’s a lot!

If nothing else, doing so many of these has slowly helped me to get better at it. Through making all of these stupid Pop-Tarts videos, I’m building skills that might help me to create something that is genuinely good someday.

Or maybe not. I’ll probably just keep making mindless trash like this until I get bored of it.

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 24: Rudolph’s Tipsy Spritzer

It’s here. Finally, this stupid thing is over. Every year that I do this, I always come to regret it by like, Day 11, but I always push on through because it’s too late to stop at that point. Sunk cost fallacy and all.

So I’m sick of writing blog entries, all stressed out by having to think up 24 things (it’s a lot, right?) and then write something passably thoughtful about them. What’s the best way to forget your troubles? A severe head injury!

That’s probably not an avenue that you want to pursue, though. I don’t particularly fancy the idea. I do have an alternative suggestion, though: alcohol! Yeah, that’s much more plausible. You probably won’t actually forget your troubles, but if you drink enough, they’ll be replaced with a whole new set of troubles. And that’s… something.

Specifically, I want to mention a concoction that my mom has been making on Xmas day for the past couple years now: Rudolph’s Tipsy Spritzer. I’m not sure where she got the idea -probably Pinterest- but a quick Googling reveals that there are dozens of recipes with that name, so I’m just not going to credit anyone. How about that?

I’ve never watched it all come together, but my understanding of the ingredients is this: Vodka, 7-Up, vodka, orange juice, vodka, and maraschino cherries. It goes great with breakfast, and is the only cocktail that I’ve ever really grown attached to. Probably because it’s a once-a-year thing and is attached to happy memories of spending Xmas day with my family. Also, it’s the one time a year I have an excuse to be wasted by breakfast time.

I don’t really know how Xmas is going to pan out this year, but the plan was for my (immediate) family to get together and just hang out and spend the entire day drinking, eating, and napping. It sounded like a perfect Xmas to me, but the current public health orders restricting people from entering a house that is not their home are kind of spoiling that. Whoops! Looks like I’ll just have to spend the Xmas long weekend all alone in my condo!

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 22: Pop-Tarts House

We’ve already had one gingerbread construction project disaster. How about adding another edible construction project to the list of my Epic Holiday Failures? Sound good? Rest assured, it is not.

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Okay, I wanted to just let it breathe, but I have to talk about this.

My video content, admittedly, does not have a high bar to clear. It’s mostly been just raw footage with a little cutting to smooth out the rough(est) spots. Lately I’ve been adding a little more love – taking close-up shots, adding music, splicing in images and end cards, so on and so forth.

The beast embedded above is, at this point in time, my pièce de résistance. I’m actually rather proud of what I’ve put together here. I was going to add “despite the ridiculousness of it all” to the end of that last sentence, but that ridiculousness was kind of the point all along. I did a thing that was gleefully silly, and put in an awful lot of time spit-shining it in an effort to make it more presentable.

Normally I don’t much care about how the general public sees my content -I do all of this for my own enjoyment- but I actually hope that people like this one. I think I might actually be a little sad when nobody watches it.

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 18: Drink!

Alright guys, this one’s easy. It’s the last Friday before Xmas Week, and you’re probably more than a bit stressed. I mean, maybe not for the same reasons as you would be in any other year, but the lockdowns and restrictions are getting us all bummed out. Next week is going to be… well, probably relatively quiet. But imagine that it’s not 2020 and we’re heading into the whirlwind that is the week before Xmas.

Back to the point: It’s Friday! Tonight, your only job is to sit back, put your feet up, and get yourself sloshed. Okay, maybe not sloshed, but get yourself a nice buzz-on and let your troubles melt away. Pop on some of those holiday specials/movies that you’ve picked out, and just forget the world for a while. Unless, of course, you have issues with alcohol. In which case maybe just brew yourself a nice cup of tea or something. It’s not quite the same, but it’ll do in a pinch.

Me, I’ve got a big box of beer to work through. It’s been a really long time since I bought a case of beer, and Lockdown Xmas seemed like the perfect time. Even outside of this time of year, it feels so nice to crack a beer or two on a Friday evening to celebrate making it to the end of another week. Knowing me, though, I’ll probably spend most of my night nursing the first bottle and pass out on the couch by 9:30.

Continue reading 24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 18: Drink!

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 10: Festive Cookies

Come on. This is basic. Do I even really have to write anything?

I suppose that I could try to give out some ideas on making more creative cookies, but… I usually just go with the classic chocolate chip. Toss some red and green sprinkles on there and suddenly they’re seasonally appropriate. Oh, and when I’m doing a batch just for me, I also apply just the tiniest bit of peppermint flavour. I’m a big fan, but focus group testing has suggested that most people aren’t into it. An unrelated test showed that those same people are big dumb poopy-heads.

Truth be told, I did actually go all out last year. I dyed half of my cookies green and half of them red. I then glued one of each together with some vanilla icing to make really incredible chocolate chip cookie sandwiches. They were probably the best cookies I’ve ever made. And then at both Xmas and New Year’s, everyone proceeded to ignore them completely and I ended up taking them all home to eat myself, resulting in me re-gaining all the excess weight that I’d lost over the course of the year.

And that’s why I’ll never bring anything to family gatherings again.

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 8: Gingerbread House

Back in the day, one of the most exciting things about the Xmas season is that my grandparents would always make a huge, elaborate gingerbread house, and send it over for us. There was always some contention over when it was okay to start eating it, and you know darn well that I would spend the season picking away at little bits of it.

Honestly, I think the buildup and bit-sneaking was actually the best part. Gingerbread houses have never been quite as delicious as I want them to be. It might be because I don’t really like gingerbread as much as I feel like I should. A nice gingerbread house is always delightful to have around, though. Makes for a really nice showpiece.

I’ve never actually made a gingerbread house myself, though. And this year shall be no exception! I’m not shelling out for a proper kit! Those things cost way more than they’re worth. However…

I do in fact have a gingerbread Millennium Falcon. I got this for Xmas (or maybe slightly before) like five years ago, and never took the time to put it together. It’s just been sitting in my cupboard all this time.

The disappointing thing about this kit is that you don’t really get to make anything with it. The Falcon itself is just a single, giant slab of gingerbread. The base is made out of four chunks that you need to glue together with icing, but that’s it. Your only real creative outlet with this kit is where you slather the remaining icing to glue on the little candy balls that come with it. Not the most compelling.

Now we need to factor in how this kit is over four years past its best before date, and we get to the real problems. The gingerbread was covered with a slimy film, which I don’t even really know what that is or how it happened. I mean, I guess it’s some sort of mold, but I’ve never seen anything quite like it. Then you have the icing, which was congealed into a solid brick. I tried to soften it up by leaving it in a pot of boiling water for a bit, but that just caused the brick to weaken and break down into crumbs, rather than to return to a fluid state that I was expecting.

And so, my great gingerbread project was a complete and total failure. I didn’t even get to eat it afterwards because time had left every aspect of it in a rather disgusting state. Even the little candy balls had lost all flavour, or at least I’m presuming that they did. It could be that they were garbage to begin with. Hopefully, if you do your own gingerbread something-or-other, it will not be nearly as disastrous as mine. I have nobody to blame but myself, though, for sleeping on this for so long.