IRL – Page 27

Everything is super when you’re gay

But I don’t have a homosexual bone in my body, so everything is most definitely not super. The worst thing ever happened today. They hired a new storefront guy. Being the only man who worked storefront was my thing, and now it’s gone. Now I have nothing. I haven’t met the guy yet, but I don’t like him already. He’s going to seriously cramp my style. Everyone knew I loved being the only guy on storefront. I made it clear more than once. I guess now I’m going to have to be more sociable with my girls if I’m to stop him from getting all my attention.

On the upside, I cracked up pretty much the whole store with my antics today. And would you guess which one single person didn’t bear witness to my hilarity? But it’s always worked out that way for me. No matter what the situation, it always turns out that the party I’m out to impress or entertain either doesn’t care or doesn’t notice.

Final note for today, I finished Silent Hill 3, and boy did it get effed up fast once you actually get to Silent Hill. I’m just dying waiting for tomorrow evening so I can start SH4. The intro scares the crap out of me, so the game itself has gotta be awesome, right?

Taking a mind dump. Excuse the odor

The coolest thing happened to me yesterday. So I’m at Subway, right. I’m done eating, so as would be the natural thing for me, I pull out my DS and get my game on. And then all of a sudden, this dude sits down across from me and starts asking stuff about it, and going on about how he finds it so amazing. I found it cool, because I don’t know a single person who is interested in the DS (nobody I know can handle its pure awesomeness), and it was nice to for once have a little chat about it. Just thought I’d bring it up.

My bro’s hockey team got creamed 8-4 last night. They started off real strong, with two goals in the first five minutes, but then it just went downhill. It was pretty bad, but the defencemen were really slacking. Can’t say he was having the best game of his life either, though. But then again, guess letting in eight out of like seventy billion shots isn’t so bad.

Three days until Musashi!

Following GDC 2005, we’ve got some things to look forward to on the Nintendo front. Seems the Revolution is gonna be some hardcore online business, and Gamecube backwards-compatible. PGC has a bunch of info, so check that out if you’re interested. Again, I’d like to bring up the new Zelda. There’s a poster of it in the Minish Cap player’s guide, so I’m thinking maybe I’mma buy that. What can I say? I need a Zelda poster.

I’m also considering getting Madden 2005 for the DS. Any time ago, this thought would never have even crossed my mind, but for reasons I cannot properly put into words, I want to own some sort of sports game, and there aren’t any hockey games for the DS yet. It’s Madden or Tiger Woods, and I don’t like the way Tiger is pointing at me so condescendingly.

How is it that I’ve gone 18 years without ever listening to Duran Duran? I can’t imagine how such a good band has gone under my radar until just recently.

iMesh 5 is pretty. Probably coated in spyware (they claim to be clean, but…), but my God is it pretty. And efficient. At least 76 times moreso than the last version. Say what you will about the spyware issue, I still like iMesh. I’ve got plenty of cleaning utilities.

I added a little hit stats dealie down on the sidebar. Click it for more info.

Is it wrong to try to win over a girl who’s currently seeing someone by pretending to be much more awesome than you are? (Not like it gets much more awesome than me) We’re still cool, even after the incident, but I’m thinking maybe I should cool the engines for a while. TV has tought me differently, so I’m not sure what the proper protocol is for this situation. Advice is appreciated.

Why is it that not a single store around here carries either Firehouse or Tesla? Best Buy and Future Shop I can see, but HMV? Come on! I guess I’ll be having to make that dreaded venture downtown if I hope to secure any music from either of these awesome bands. I hate downtown.

Speaking of Firehouse, they’re pretty much kicking ass on the ol’ AudioScrobbler list. You should totally sign up for an account there, even if you never use the thing, just so I can add more people to my friends list. And it’s just a neat little thing to have.

Is there a Corner Gas DVD? Amazon says no. Dammit. That’s an awesome show. If you don’t watch it, you so very totally should. I can’t stress enough how hilarious it is. Best show I’ve watched in years. Upon further investigation, the official website says yes. Flippin’ sweet.

And my fate remains unchanged

Another chapter in my life comes to an end that is both surprising and predictable. I stared my greatest fear in the eyes, and proceeded to do what had to be done. In the end, I’m still doomed to spend my nights alone at the computer writing about stupid things. But I have grown, and learned that sometimes, even when you have no courage, you just have to give ‘er. I also learned that the outcome wasn’t what I really cared about, but rather that I was out to prove to myself that I’m not as weak as I used to think. I’m not disappointed. I don’t regret my actions. I have no time for sorrow. I’m happy that I faced my fears head-on. I know that with a little more time and research, I could have avoided the let-down, but like I said, I have no regrets. I guess you’ll be happy too now that you won’t have to read about this anymore. Oh, and if you have no idea what I’m talking about, you might want to consider reading the last couple posts a little closer.

Band of the Month – March 2005

2000 hits!!! Booya! I retain my title of Webmaster Grand Champion!

Okay, enough of that. I was gonna make a banner for the occasion, but I have a tendency to not get things done (you should be familiar with this particular trait by now), and well, it never got done and it’s too late now. On the other hand, it looks like you’re gonna be getting your article sooner rather than later. I gave it my best shot, but lonely is the fate of the man who burns for a girl who works almost literally all the time. Oh well, there’s always next week. For now, it’s time I get my Band of the Month on.

It’s probably not a great idea for me to choose Boston as this month’s BotM, as I really don’t know much of their stuff, save for the greatest hits. So while this one could be very short, just remember that the other BotMs that I thought would be short didn’t turn out too bad. Anyhow, I’ve bought not a single Boston album, but I do quite like the band. Obviously enough. I think it started way back when my dad got the greatest hits CD. A lot of the time, I hear a band, think nothing of them, and then come back some time later to really get into them. Boston is a perfect example of this. Though I may be thinking of the Eagles. Either way, that’s how I’m gonna say it went down.

I have to say, I think the first song that really drew me to the band is one of their slower hits, “Amanda”. I can only faintly remember the time when I started listening to them, but I do recall that I’ve always liked that song. That one and “Foreplay/Long Time”. So of course, since I liked the songs I checked out some more, and hooray! I like Boston. Some other choice songs would include “Rock & Roll Band”, “Cool the Engines”, and “Smokin'”. Yeah, Boston is a pretty solid example of what rock n’ roll should be like, with some brilliant guitar work and just an overall great sound. The aforementioned and aptly titled “Rock & Roll Band” is a great example, for those who need one. “Higher Power” is another really good one, as it really puts the guitars in the spotlight, right where they belong, being so awesome and all. Though in essence, it is more reminiscent of metal than rock n’ roll.

After a little research, I’ve discovered that Boston has released six albums, including the greatest hits compilation. First up and apparently most popular among fans was their self-titled debut. While it is only eight songs long (shameful, but the trend continues throughout), they’re all pretty awesome, and this is probably the one I would pick up were I to get any. Next is Don’t Look Back, which I’ve been told is another popular one, but I’ll admit I only know the title track. The third release, Third Stage, seems to have been a bit of a mixed bag. I would say it’s okay, but I only know three songs from it, so my opinion is invalid at best. It’s got “Amanda” and “Cool the Engines”, two songs that I love, and “Can’tcha Say (You Believe in Me)”, which is a sweet ballad, but gains power at several points, particularly when the chorus comes around.

The other two albums, Walk On and Corporate America are what some might call very “un-Boston”. I know not a single song from either disc, so I really can’t tell you what’s going on, but people are really giving these ones a beating in the reviews. In either case, the last one (though released before Corporate America) is their greatest hits disc. It seems fine to me, but the fans say that a few songs don’t belong, and could have been replaced by some that really should have made the cut (“Can’tcha Say”, for one, is commonly mentioned when listing songs that should’ve been there). The odd thing that I’ve discovered, is that there were huge gaps in between each album. Hell, it was apparently eight years between Don’t Look Back and Third Stage. I guess they’re kinda like the Nintendo of music.

So in closing, I like the classic Boston. I don’t know any of their more recent stuff, but if the reviews on Amazon.com are anything to go by, I’m not missing out on a whole lot. For what I know, I give the band a high recommendation. If you like rock n’ roll, chances are you’ll get into Boston pretty quick (if you haven’t already). As usual, the songs I mentioned are the ones I think you should listen to first, but keep in mind that I didn’t mention a lot of good ones too, so if you’re gonna be looking into them, just take what you can get and run with it. Chances of disappointment are very low.

The mouth opens, but the words won’t come out

Another milestone has come about. I’ve recorded 2000 hits. Shazam. Sometimes I really wonder why I bother.

Gah. And to think I was so excited about my first thousand hits that I wrote a freaking article. And this time it means nothing to me. I mean, I’m writing one for the weekend (hoping for Sunday here), but that was gonna happen anyway. I’ve just been a little bipolar lately, so maybe I’ll be enthused about it tomorrow. I don’t know. Right now I just dread having to go to work tomorrow, a feeling that hasn’t come over me for a couple weeks now. I really should have posted yesterday… I was in a good mood then.

Oh, there is one positive note on my agenda. I saw “Harold and Kumar go to White Castle” the other night, and I was pleased. It wasn’t great, but it was easily worth my time. There were a couple hilarious lines, and a lot of boobies. You know, forget what I said before. It was a great movie. I might even buy it. Man, I wish I was watching it right now… The only real problem with it is that it left me with a serious case of the munchies. A real hankerin’ for somma those little burgers.

So yeah, I might have an article up for yah’s this weekend. If it’s not there by Sunday night, that means I’ve got a date, suckas. (Though in that scenario, unlikely as it may be, it should be up on Tuesday at latest.) Yeah, I wanted to be more subtle with that one, but wording isn’t my strong suit. Oh well, wish me luck. I’ll need all I can get.

And now we dance

There have been some rumors going around lately, and I’m happy to tell you all that they’re all true. It has taken a while, but now an event of super-sized proportions has come about, and I’m quite proud to announce… that I’ve written a new article.

Not what you were expecting? Too effin’ bad.

In any case, you know where to find it. It’s in the back with all the others. I have other things to discuss. Like last night. Here we are, big company meeting, and of course I’m not listneing. See, they’d left paper and pens on the tables, and true to form, I spent the evening doodling. In itself, not worthy of mention, but it’s what came about halfway through that amazed me. People at my table were awed by my stuff, and I guess word traveled through the room, cause at one point, people were crowded all around the table to take a gander at my stuff. I was honoured by a few people asking if they could have some of my stuff, and even did a few (free) comissions. By God, I’ve gotta improve and start charging. Anyhow, I’m gonna post all the stuff that wasn’t given away as the February edition of the Work Blog, so be prepared for that to happen anytime soon. I think that’s about all I needed to say for today.

Drat. They were just contacts

But if you wanna see something that is just as beautiful and just as blue, but not quite so artificial, click on this link here. I’d have just posted the pic, but my sentence plays out better as a link.

In related news, I’ve got no balls. Testicles, yes, but the ballage is at a bare minimum at best. I only mention this because I’m that ashamed of myself. As I once said, “You can’t get pussy if you are a pussy.” I think I was talking about myself then too. I don’t deserve my pimp name. (But I’mma keep it anyway).

So getting away from that paragraph I can’t believe I’m going to let stay, I’m pissed at Capcom again. Remember when I told you about the Rockman.EXE 5 Forte Cross deal? If not, you’ll get really lost here, but anyhow, my story goes on. So the only way so far to get the valuable card that unlocks the Forte Cross ability, is to go to the Rockman.EXE movie. I mean, it doesn’t matter much to me, cause by the time the game gets here they’ll have gutted it of any E-Reader compatibility, but I still hate when you can only get stuff by promotional offers! This is why I loathe Nintendo’s “You can only get the uber-rare Pokemon from promotional deals that only take place in New freaking York” bullcrap. Everything to be unlocked in video games should be unlocked by skill and the amount of time you invest in the game, not by stupid promotions. You should have access to all of the game, including the really cool stuff. You paid for the thing, you deserve to be able to play 100% of it. Sure, it’s a great money-making scheme for them, but I’m sure it’s turned away at least one player for every $100 it makes.

Lastly, StarFox: Assault kicks ass. I’d like to say more, but this one is definitely article material. After I get some more multiplayer time in, I’ll have that up for you. And the new Wario Ware game is getting one too. My plan is to review every Wario Ware game that comes out, so that guarantees at least two more. Woo hoo. Shit, I was supposed to keep that a secret. Crap.

Oh, and I fixed the broken Steve article of two weeks ago. I might have done so earlier, but nobody frickin’ tells me these things! When you see a big problem like that, send me a goddamn E-mail! Yeah, so now the asshole article is actually there, and not simply a copy of the vegetable article.

Prelude to tragedy

Valentine’s Day disgusts me. All the pink and hearts everywhere. Just disgusting. But there is one tiny facet of the “holiday” that has melted even my stone cold heart. If you’re curious, the link is there.

In a completely unrelated story, there’s this new girl at work. I know where you think I’m going with this, and I could tread that path, but alas, I have something more up my sleeve. You see, they’ve pretty much bestowed the task of training her upon me. The official trainer is present, but generally doing something else. This is excellent for me, because it shows that they trust me and think that I’m a good worker. Heck, the managers have even told me how much they appreciate me doing it. On top of that, I actually enjoy doing it. I’m even considering applying for the trainer position. I dunno why exactly I enjoy it, but it’s, you know, satisfying. There are other good points, but even in my infinite wisdom, I cannot put them into the right words. I’d continue this train of thought, but you’d end up confused as all hell. But no matter how much of this paragraph makes sense to you, her eyes are the bluest I’ve ever seen.

I’m really not sure where to go from here. There’s a new Steve article up, but I can’t think up any more than that. Nope. So you just sit and imagine I’d written more. There was something else, but that has to be saved for tomorra.

Making loud noises!

I watched Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy for the second time this morning, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s frickin’ hilarious. It’s a perfect blend of idiot humour and man humour (which some may believe to be one and the same), and that’s why I love it so. It’s nice to see that some of Hollywood is still devoted to making a great dumbass movie. While I like adventure, action, and a more sophistocated comedy, nothing gets to me quite like the idiot humour. Brick Tambland is one of the funniest characters I can think of, and the cast is great. Tons of familiar faces, most notably Will Ferrel and Vince Vaughn. But it’s nice to see other great actors playing bit roles, such as Tim Robbins and Jack Black. Ah, such a great movie, and so damn many quotes to go with it. “Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.” “Don’t act like you’re not impressed.”

Oh yes, and in a strange turn of events, I, of all people, got athlete’s foot. I know it hasn’t got anything to do with being an athlete, but it’s still kinda funny if you don’t think about it too much. Uh, it’s actually been a week or so now, and it’s mostly gone, but I figured it was something you might find funny, if not a bit gross.

I also got my first taste of a Charleston Chew today, and I have to say that it must be the candy that God eats. It’s just so delicious and chewy. Just slightly less chewy than a good taffy. I dare you to provide a candy better than the Charleston Chew. DARE YOU. I’ve seen the light, and am convinced that a superior candy bar could not exist.

And on a side note, I fixed the link at the end of the previous post. Enjoy.

Much apost about nothing

Well, I’ve got nothing to do at the moment, and I really don’t know why I’m posting. I’ve got nothing overly important to say, and I’ve no new junk to review. I could review old junk, but bah to that. Too much work. Oh, I did the coolest thing at work yesterday, and I’ll tell you more of it as soon as I can recapture the magic in picture form. While I’m on the topic of work, I’ve been applying for jobs at other places, so if I’m lucky, I won’t be working at Timmy’s much longer (“Roll up the Rim” season is just around the corner).

I guess it there’s anything to talk about, it’s Prince of Persia: Warrior Within. I rented it, and wasn’t overly impressed. The dudes at Penny Arcade whined about how Prince is no longer the great charcter he once was, and I was surprised that they do actually explain the reasons for change in the manual. Nevertheless, his new persona is much less likeable than before. -2 points. The game is now more heavily based on fighting, and it’s damn hard too. It was nice and simple in The Sands of Time, and while the new system is nice, I wish it were more centered around the swinging and jumping stuff. -1 point. The bosses I’ve faced so far have been really dull block-fests. It’s just block, block, block, and hope maybe there’s an opening here or there. -3 points. The soundtrack is all hard rock/metal, and while I like it, it doesn’t go from the arabic ambiance to battle rock. It’s just always shoveling metal into your ears. -1 point. The nice thing is that there are plenty of secrets to be found, and some hilarious secondary weapons, like a hockey stick and a plastic flamingo. +2 points. I can’t be certain, but I think the graphics actually got worse… No points awarded/lost. Overall, it’s a solid game, but you’ll probably want to go with The Sands of Time if you’re only gonna get one. At least the story is pretty cool and fits in well with that of the first.

Oh yes, and I finished Resident Evil 4 a while ago. Twice, in fact. And pretty far in my third game. The final chapters are very Resident Evil, contrary to some people’s complaints about the game. You know who you are. Not to mention it implies (as explicitly as possible) that RE5 will be along eventually. And the credits scene is really cinematic. When it was over, I got up and for a moment, thought I was leaving a movie theater. The unlockable bonuses are awesome. The mini-game Assignment Ada is cool, though a bit too easy. The Mercenaries, however, provides a great challenge and the opportunity to play as several different chracters, including the mysterious HUNK and long-time villain Albert Wesker. It’s all great fun and adds much to the replay value of the game, which is already unfathomably high.

Pretty good for a post that wasn’t premeditated at all. I guess the next time I’mma gonna post will be around the 15th or so, when I pick up the new Wario Ware game and possibly StarFox: Assault. Until then, here’s the SF:Assault soundtrack, in download form!

ADDENDUM- Oh yes, I forgot to tell youse (though some may already know) that the Mists of Avalon Online forum is now all prettied up. It’s got a starry background. …Yeesh. I usually don’t promote other people’s stuff so often… (at least not those who don’t have a widely known web presence)

And I found this thing out on the net and was sufficiently charmed by it, and couldn’t resist putting it on my own site. Don’t act like you aren’t charmed by it too.