From the desk of Raunchy Ryan

I watched The Garbage Pail Kids Movie on the weekend, and I have to say that literally anything else would have been a better way to spend a Sunday morning. Like, I would have been better off going to church.

But seriously, folks, this is a bad movie. It’s not the kind of movie that anyone would even like ironically, and I don’t think you could really get much out of it by watching and riffing on it with friends. This is one of those movies that How Did This Get Made? wouldn’t touch.

So why did I watch it in the first place? Because it was mentioned on an episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast a while ago and I was curious. That’s all. I never collected Garbage Pail Kids cards or whatever as a child, so there’s not even any nostalgia value for me there.

All you really need to know is don’t watch it.

However, one thing that really stood out to me was the ending. Over the course of the movie, our main character gets in good with an older girl that he’s got a crush on, and then she double-crosses him. When she returns at the end to apologize, she asks if they can still be friends, but the kid shoots her down and says “I don’t think you’re pretty any more.” Wow! Not only does he not mend fences, he burns her but good. Good on you, kid. Way to stand up for yourself. Way to not go for the cliché ending.

So yeah, I thought that was alright. But the rest? Nah. Not even worth writing up a whole thing about.

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