Spraying all over

A couple months ago, I made a terrible mistake: I purchased Power Wash Simulator.

Maybe you’ve heard of it? It had been all over the internet recently, or so I’ve heard. This is a game that is exactly what it says on the tin: you’re given a pressure washer and a series of things that need washing and… then you just get to it.

Buying this video game was not a mistake due to quality concerns. No, in fact, for a Steam Early Access game, it’s very stable and fully-featured. It’s also a lot of fun, calling back pleasant memories of cleaning all the goop off of Isle Delfino in Super Mario Sunshine.

Power Wash Simulator, however, was a mistake because it’s far too addictive. I spent no less than nine hours playing it on the day I bought it, and then devoted all of my free time over the next two days to it. I didn’t think it was going to be so long. I kept telling myself I’d put it down after “just one more job” or “once I finish this side of the building” or some such nonsense. But I didn’t put it down. Not until every last speck of dirt was washed away.

The weirdest thing about it is that this game basically goes against everything I believe in. More than anything, I detest cleaning in real life. It requires too much effort, takes a lot of time, and isn’t all that satisfying. And then the thing you cleaned just gets dirty and needs to be cleaned again, over and over, forever. Cleaning sucks! I’ve opted to be a hermit for the rest of my life simply so that I can be an absolute slob and nobody will care.

But Power Wash Simulator makes it enjoyable. For every cleaning job, you get a big checklist of every object and surface that needs cleaning. Every time you clean an item sufficiently, it sparkles a little and emits a very satisfying little chime. Watching that checklist slowly fill in is great, but I’ve actually found the most satisfaction in just stepping back for a moment now and then to see how my power washing progress is going. It’s more pronounced in larger jobs like houses or amusement park rides, but the developer definitely knew this was going to be a thing, so every time you complete a job, you’re rewarded with a time-lapse video of the object going from filthy to spick-and-span.

While I originally completed all of the available jobs back in August, I downloaded the game again recently due to the wealth of new content that was made available in the updates that released during the interim. I think it was like another eight stages or so? I don’t know. It was all a blur. I just new that there was more power washing to be done, so I put on the trusty playlist of Mega Man series music from Smash Ultimate and got to it.

To this day, I obsessively check Steam every week for Power Wash Simulator updates, because I just can’t wait for more! The last content patch was already over a month ago, so… more has to be coming soon, right? Right? I just… I just need a little fix, man. Like, two new jobs or so should last me a while. Or maybe three. C’mon, man! I’m freakin’ out here!

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