OK, I’ve spent pretty much all the time I’ve been home today up until now immersed in Metroid Prime 2: Echoes. It’s a really, really, really awesome game. Fuck Halo. You can’t turn into a ball in Halo. There aren’t any zombies in Halo. Sure, you can hold two guns, but my gun is 5-in-one. Plus, Samus is a babe. (If you need proof, search up the ending pics for Metroid Fusion and Zero Mission in the VG Museum)
But no, I didn’t come here solely to bash Halo, though I do take pleasure in the activity. No, I have much more important stuff to discuss. Like what I did with last night. You see, I got the most excellent opportunity to hit the opening night concert for the MTS Centre. Possibly the biggest thing that’s ever happened in Manitoba ever, this was a pretty important event. Not only have we been craving this new arena for decades, but it was the first freaking anything that happened there.
I’d like to go into a lot of detail, but Aether calls, so I’ll have to keep it short. Short-ish. Basically, the new arena is awesome. It’s way fancied up, and it’s got like statues and shit all over the place. One thing I noticed that was really cool is that the lights under the stairs cast a cool glow on people either ascending or descending them. Sadly, the trough is gone, and that means lines for the men’s bathroom. If you’d never been to our quaint old arena, the men’s bathrooms had pissing troughs. Seriously. It was awesome. But never again. Oh well, I guess they made up for it by having every seat made the same, and not giving the big spenders the comfy ones.
So what about the show? Well, it started with a gymnast doing some seriously wicked shit on a couple of like… big… drapes. I have no idea what they’re called but it was impressive like nothing else. At first I couldn’t tell if it was a chick or a guy, but then we got the ass shot. That was the definitive moment. Totally a chick. Now I was impressed and aroused. Not a bad opening act. Then the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra played some stuff and it was cool. Then another gymnast who was notably less impressive, but very, very flexible. Finally, we got some more WSO, and then the show really started.
Our first big name act: Randy Bachman. You know, from BTO and the Guess Who. There was some “Takin’ Care of Business”, a little “Let It Ride”, and an ineffable performance of “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet”. Of course, he did some of his own stuff too, and even busted into Neil Young’s “Keep on Rocking in the Free World”. It would be quite the act to top. And the next guys didn’t quite do it for me. Some young country group going by the name of Doc Walker. Never heard of ’em before, and I’m not gonna go and start hearing of ’em. They weren’t bad, but you know. They were following up Randy freaking Bachman. While they did put on an enjoyable show, they were without a doubt the least entertaining of the 5 major acts.
Oh, did I mention that the thing was hosted by Fred Penner? Yeah. It was cool. Funny guy. He did little skits and stuff between acts to show off all the cool stuff in the new arena, like the Moose locker rooms (which, by the way, must be what Heaven is like) and the giant loading dock. Also highlighted were the dining hall and the suites. Oh, and the arena itself. But back to the show.
The third act, and what I thought would be the most disappointing, was Chantal Kreviazuk. You see, I didn’t realize that she’s smoking hot. Turns out she’s a pretty talented pianist and singer too. And she kept heckling the lighting guys to do stuff for her, but they wouldn’t. It was funny. The only thing I didn’t like was the fat idiot sitting two seats over that kept yelling things to her, even though we were sitting way up at the top of the world. Yeah, we were in the very highest seats, but as the Penner man pointed out, there isn’t a bad seat in the house.
After Chantal packed it up and Fred and co-host Adam Beach did their bit, on came my personal favorite act: Tom Cochrane. Booya. Kickass rock and boatloads of showmanship to boot. He was the only guy to actually get the people in the floor seats up and dancing. Somehow, he managed to sing all songs that I don’t know, except for the token “Life is a Highway”. I think if Tom Cochrane ever played a concert anywhere and didn’t do “Life is a Highway”, the world would implode or something. But I digress, this was the highlight of the show for me. But as a collective, we the audience had a huge surprise waiting for us.
Me, I had no idea who I was going to see, I just took up the offer and went. But apparently, nobody in the audience knew that Burton Cummings was gonna be there, based on the uproar that uprose when Fred announced that he would be the last act. Indeed, Burton did not disappoint. He did a few songs accompanied by the WSO, and then it got even better. Randy came back and then they did “No Sugar Tonight”. And then a bunch of Guess Who stuff from back in the day. The crowd was certainly pleased, what with more applause, whistling, and hollering than I imagined could possibly be contained inside a single building. I was entertained as well, even if it was mostly stuff I’d never heard before. I can’t say I’ve ever really listened to a lot of the Guess Who or, for that matter, anyone who performed last night, but I was able to pick out quite a few songs, and I knew everyone who played (with the exception of Doc Walker, of course), so I wasn’t totally out of the loop.
And that was it. It wasn’t straight up my alley (some parts were, but some weren’t), but I can’t deny that I enjoyed pretty much the whole thing. Only one or two songs total did I find annoying or disagreeable. A sweet-ass concert for sure, you’re sorry you missed it. I don’t care if you hate all the stars that showed up, it was a huge event that really defied musical preferences. I really don’t have much else to say. I can’t stop thinking about the Echoes.
On a totally different note, I got the new Rammstein CD today. Kinda goes without saying that it kicks ass. And that’s the end of my show. DONK!