Last night was my office Xmas party. Normally I hate these functions, as I have a long history at being awful at mingling. So I spent the entire week dreading the evening, as I do every year.
It wasn’t so bad though. Actually, I had a really good time. I ended up talking to a lot of people, and even sat at a table separate from the rest of my department. So somehow I managed to survive and even have a good time despite being miles away from my comfort zone. Who would have thought?
Of course, by “somehow” I mean “thanks to the liquor.”
I haven’t had a drink in over 5 years for reasons that I will not get into, but last night I decided that it was time to let go of that particular anxiety and have a few liquor drinks. I wouldn’t say that I was full-on drunk, but I’m pretty sure that there was a noticeable shift in my demeanor. I most certainly cracked a number of jokes that I would not have had the nerve to get out if I’d been sober.
Despite the fact that things turned out well, I can’t help but feel like I’ve taken the first step down a long, dark, downward spiral…
