The Easter season is long since over, but I still have some things to say about it!
I still have one thing to say about it.
It’s not even really about Easter, per se, but more about a thing that only showed up when Easter rolled around. And that thing is Cadbury Creme Eggs… biscuits.
Yes, that’s right. Cadbury went ahead and crammed down the essence of their Number One Treat into little cookie shapes. This might seem like a step in the wrong direction, as half the fun of Creme Eggs are biting into the chocolate shell and then letting the goopy insides ooze out. But let’s not jump to conclusions, shall we?
It says that these kajiggers are new on the package, and I’ve certainly never seen them before. I’m going to take it ad face value and assume that 2014 is the first year that these have existed. I’m so lazy confident that I’m not even going to do a Google search to verify it.
The package is very similar in size to that of standard Reese Peanut Butter Cups, so I figured that there would be three biscuits held within. Turns out that there were actually six! The little guys are much thinner than you might expect, so there’s more of ’em crammed in there. Otherwise, they cut a pretty standard figure. If I had to compare them to anything, I’d say that they look like a squashed Viva Puff.
Lo and behold, they are even more Viva Puff-esque on the inside! Yes, that’s right, there’s a cookie base in here. At first it seems like a blasphemous addition to the tried-and-true Creme Egg formula, but let me tell you a thing: …we need to set the scene here before I tell you.
Picture me. Sitting at a desk, talking across to you. I’m wearing a dress shirt that visibly has not been ironed in weeks, but isn’t too wrinkly because I hang it up as soon as the dryer cycle finishes. I have a stern look on my face. It contrasts significantly with my normally jovial demeanor; you know that whatever I’m about to say is very serious. I breathe in deeply. I look you square in the eye and your heart begins to beat a little faster. I pound my fist on the table to emphasize my point as I declare:
“These biscuits are Goddamned Delicious!”