Dark Souls: Big Bullies

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan tore through the Undead Burg only to be stopped cold by the Taurus Demon, and I gave up on the game forever.

Forever, as it turns out, is really only a matter of months. I did decide to give Dark Souls another shot after a few months of dwelling on my previous failures and having given up so early into the game.

I spent a little time grinding zombies to add a meager amount of numbers onto Morgan’s stats before giving the Taurus Demon another shot, and a little birdie suggested that I try out a tactic that I’d learned while fighting the tutorial boss, but had very quickly forgotten about.

Climbing back up that dreadful tower, Morgan stared the Taurus Demon square in its haunted eyes yet again. Would it be the last time? Having previously cleared the archers off the nearby battlement, I lured the demon out of hiding and then ran back over to the ladder. When the beast drew near, I lept off the tower with little more than a prayer, and plunged my sword into its skull. The attack drainde a good third of the beast’s hit points, and then the fight began in earnest.

I could have lured the beast to the opposite side of the arena, and then tried to pull off the plunging attack again for an easy win, but I preferred the idea of winning the ret of the fight through skill. And I showed a marked increase in skill this time around, for some reason. I suppose maybe I’d somehow gotten better at Dark Souls by not playing it for a while? Anyway, I killed the Taurus Demon fairly easily considering all the times he’d stomped me flat. It was finally time to move on and see what else the game had in store for me.

What it had in store was nothing but more terror.

I continued along the path, and out to another large balcony. There I met some guy who went on about stuff that I either didn’t care about of didn’t understand. In the end, he gave me an item that I could have used for some multiplayer shenanigans, but alas, I was (and still am not) subscribed to Xbox Live Gold, so I’d be having none of that.

Past the balcony was a bridge between towers, lined with zombies. No sweat, zombies were a piece of cake. So I started crossing the bridge, preparing to engage the enemy, when a hug freaking dragon flew overhead, landed on top of the entrance to the opposite tower, and absolutely covered the length of the bridge on fire. I was able to duck into a small alcove on the side, but every last zombie on that bridge was incinerated.

In my alcove, there was a stairway that opened up a shortcut back to the bonfire in the Undead Burg. Handy!

I returned to the bridge and bolted to the far end in between the dragon’s bursts of flame. There, I found another bonfire (whew!) and the entrance to the Undead Parish. Or, the entrance to the path leading up to the entrance to the Undead Parish. What should have been a short jaunt up a cobblestone sidewalk was laden with trouble though.

The first thing in my way was a huge freakin’ armored boar. While imposing at first, the boar was easily defeated by… a narrow staircase. Indeed, the was a small staircase leading up to a higher level in this area, and it was narrow enough that the boar could not climb it. So it was just matter of luring the boar nearby, then hopping off and doing a plunging attack for big damage. The boar went down without a fuss, and I was awarded with the single most amazing piece of armor that Dark Souls will ever give me: The Fang Boar Helm.

Indeed, with Morgan rocking this magnificent piece of kit, I was happy enough to consider Dak Souls conquered. But, I kept going for a while anyway, just for a larf.

There was a massive iron gate barring me from the Undead Parish proper, so I had to go around a winding, zombie-infested passage to get to the other side and open it. Unfortunately, zombies weren’t the only thing stalking the halls here. It was in this passageway that I met my first undead knight.

The undead knights are big, fully armored, and incredibly deadly. Not only are they adept at blocking and dealing damage, but the ones carrying rapiers can parry your attacks and kill you instantly with a counterattack. You Died.

Or, at least, their counterattack does enough damage that it could kill Morgan instantly every time. You Died.

Even with the nice defense boost afforded by the Fang Boar Helm. F-O-E! You Died.

Despite it being a minor enemy, the sour experience with the knight was enough for me to go back to consdering the Fang Boar Helm the pinnacle of achievement in Dark Souls, and that was ostensibly the end of Morgan’s adventure.

Tune in next week for Part 4: Perishing in the Parish.

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