This is a photograph of the worst sandwich I’ve ever had the displeasure of eating. Fortunately, it was crafted by none other than myself, so I don’t have to get on anyone’s case about ruining a sandwich.
The sandwich in question is comprised of four ingredients beyond the requisite bread: turkey, cheese, tomato and mustard. Doesn’t sound too bad, does it? Not as bad as the last notable sandwich I made anyway. In reality the Pepwich was far more palatable than this beast.
Now, it’s just theory, because I haven’t tried to recreate this thing yet (And why would I? It was awful!) but I think the poor taste of the sandwich was more due to shoddy construction and handling than inappropriate ingredients. The first mistake I made was to put the tomatoes on the top, squished up against the mustarded bread. It’s just theory, but it seemed like the biggest issue in flavour was that the tomato and mustard had a poor combined taste. I claim it as a theory because it’s never been an issue before; I always get tomatoes and mustard on my Subway sandwiches, but here they seemed to work against each other. I mustard any meat-based sandwiches I make, and never has it been a problem when tomato is introduced. But I don’t think I’ve ever made a sandwich where the tomato and mustard touch. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s the only theory I’ve got.
Either that or the tomato had gone bad. It looked fairly fresh though.
The other big issue with the sandwich, and this was a rookie mistake, is that I sat the sandwich tomato-side down in its plastic container. Not an issue when you’re going to consume it right away, but when it’s going to sit until lunchtime? Tomato against bread is going to make for a mushy, disgusting sandwich. It wasn’t the worst soggification I’ve ever suffered, but that one layer of bread was still pretty soggy and gross. Combined with the off taste, it made for an almost inedible sandwich.
The lesson I want you to take away from this story, children, is this: don’t put your tomatoes adjacent to the bread when you make a sandwich. Put them between the meat and cheese. This also applies to pickles, but you have a little leeway there because pickels aren’t as watery as tomoatoes. Also pickles add a lot more to a sandwich than a tomoato will. Tomatoes are best reserved for omelettes and salad.