So I tell them all my girlfriend’s dead

Today we present to you a very special Band of the Month. …Nah. It’s a normal one. But I bet I had you going for a second there, right? Well whatever, let’s get it on.

I’ve been listening to a lot of new (to me) bands during the last couple weeks, and while a handful of them are definite candidates for the BotM title, this month I’ve decided to go with an old favourite: The Vandals. I’ve been listening to them since late ’99. I’ll give you two guesses where I first came across them. Give up yet? Not surprisingly, it was the first Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater game. Back in that day, I wasn’t overly open to different kinds of music, and the punk scene was totally new to me. I immediately took to two bands featured on the soundtrack: Goldfinger and the Vandals. Those were the glory days of Napster too, so I was still enamoured with the fact that I could download any music I wanted. That really has nothing to do with the story, but the two memories are pretty close to each other, so I figured I’d mention it. Anyhow, the fascination with the Vandals died off after a short while, only to be revived by chance a couple years later.

At that time, the storm hit with full force, and the Vandals became a mainstay in my rotation and still sit there to this very day. I still don’t own any Vandals CDs (the only one I’ve ever seen is the Shingo Japanese Remix Album, which I’ve heard is disappointing). I have downloaded a couple albums though, so I have a very good idea of their range of music. And what a range it is too. With about 13 discs under their belts, the Vandals have explored a huge variety of music styles from punk to country to metal (they’ve even got a Christmas album). Mostly punk though. Aside from the range of style, the other really notable thing about the band is that they write incredible lyrics. Sometimes they’re serious punk-esqe lyrics, but most of the time they’re just downright silly and hilarious. A couple that spring to mind immediately include “That’s My Girl,” “Christmas Time for my Penis” and “My Girlfriend’s Dead.” A couple songs are even exercises in mercilessly kicking your ass through music, like “The New You” and “I’ve Got an Ape Drape.” In the end, though, it’s pretty much all good. Like all bands, they’ve got a few weak songs, but they’re not that common.

Honestly, I don’t know what else to say. I don’t want to point-by-point each album, because there are way too many. I’ve told the story, relayed the highlights, and that about does the usual BotM post. I could list some more songs that I recommend, but that could take forever and would look bad. At least rambling like this doesn’t look bad unless you’re actually reading it. I guess to sum it all up, you should look into the Vandals if you’re up for something that’s definitely different from anything you’ve ever heard before. They’re definitely in their own league. Comparing them to any other band would be like comparing apples and wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube men.

The other thing I neeed to mention today is that I found a torrent for all the bonus (and uber-rare) tracks from Guitar Hero. Now I share the wealth with you. It’s got some real gems on it like “Cheat on the Church,” “Eueka, I’ve Found Love,” “All of This” and “Guitar Hero.” Highly recommend you take advantage of that as soon as possible. Seeders don’t stay that way forever, you know. I’m gonna ask you about it the next time I see you, so either download it or make sure I don’t see you.

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