I Bought Brownies from Little Caesar’s

If this was a YouTube video, that title would include a “so you don’t have to” at the end. But this isn’t a YouTube video, because I’m old and I prefer to do my reviews the old way: with letters. Thank goodness I’m not really old and I’m not trying to do anything in print.

While I do tend to order food more often than I should, I can gladly say that I almost never order pizza any more. No, I make my own pizzas these days! Which is a very overdue blog post all its own. However! Having been sick with the ‘Rona for nearly two weeks, I have been lacking the energy to do a lot of regular things. Number one on the chopping block: preparing meals. So one day I ordered a pizza from Little Caesar’s.

The Little C will never be my first choice for pizza, but sometimes it’s just the right combination of cheap and crappy and it hits the spot like nothing else can. And sometimes they have cookie dough brownies with mini M&Ms baked in. That’s entirely why I got the pizza. I just wanted the brownies.

I know I failed by not including a banana for scale, but let me assure you… these brownies are pretty small. Not, like, unreasonably small, but they could have probably been a dollar cheaper. $3.99 would have been fair, at a dollar per brownie. At $4.99 though? I would feel ripped off if I cared more about money.

The first thing I noticed when I unwrapped the brownies is that the cookie dough top is very soft. It’s very gooey, which I was not expecting at all. I thought it would be a more solid product, literally. Instead, the square just kind of smooshed in my hand when I plucked it from the carton, only held together by the somewhat more stable brownie underneath. Because of this smooshiness, a lot of the cookie dough stuck to the carton as well. I don’t know if I was supposed to freeze them first or something?

“Who cares about firmness in brownies?” you ask, exasperated. I don’t, really, but I figured it was worth mentioning. There isn’t much else to say about these things, after all.

So I guess that brings us to the taste. Um, well, they were five bucks. I could probably leave it at that. But I won’t! Little Caesar’s cookie dough brownies are merely okay. They sated my sweet tooth, and that’s what really counts in the end. But I won’t say that I especially enjoyed them. For one, the brownie part is either not very chocolatey, or it’s completely overpowered by the cookie dough flavour. I’m not sure which. It doesn’t matter. The chocolate flavour is way too mild one way or another. And the tiny M&Ms don’t offer much to help! Though I did very much appreciate the crispy texture that they added to the otherwise very soft and squishy brownies.

Other thing of note: the cookie dough was okay, though it did seem a little off to me. I assume that’s because it’s not authentic cookie dough, but rather something similar that Caesar’s can sell without potentially giving anyone salmonella or E.coli or whatever. But it just ain’t the same, and it comes through in the flavour! I actually kind of want to buy another package of these, remove the brownies, and then bake the cookie dough to see if cookies actually form. But then I’d have to get another pizza, because I’m not walking into the restaurant just to buy sub-par brownies. So science will have to wait for someone else!

To render a final verdict, I would say that the cookie dough brownies are kind of okay, but not so good that you should make a trip to Little Caesar’s just for them. If you’re getting pizza and/or wings and want a little something sweet to chase them with, I’d recommend the cinnamon sticks. But, if you’re getting a pizza and/or wings and want something sweet and chocolatey to chase them with, then the cookie dough brownies are the only game in town. Unless you want to make a second stop. I don’t know about you, but I typically don’t want to make a second stop.

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