Dark Souls – Page 3

Dark Souls: Throw Me a Frickin’ Bone

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan splurged on a really expensive magical trinket, and got pulverized by a jacked-up mushroom-man.

Dusting my hollowed self off, I got up and left the bonfire to travel through the mushroom-infested forest again. Having the ghostly figures in the first section jump to their dooms again earned a tidy profit of souls on the way, adding nicely to the figure I recovered from my bloodstain.

My second encounter with the mushroom-men went much more smoothly than the first. I took a few wallops, each requiring a couple swigs of estus to recover from, but ultimately the key to winning against them is to take it very slowly. Their punches hurt like nothing else, but they’re also very slow. Mushroom-men aren’t hard to kill, but it might take you all day to get the job done.

After defeating the two large mushrooms guarding the chest (an Enchanted Ember), I thought about slaughtering the harmless little mushrooms that were just minding their own business, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I may have been undead, but that didn’t make me a bad person.

Past the mushroom grove was a massive set of doors, even bigger than the ones that I opened with the Crest of Artorias. I could also see a white mist seeping through the seams, and I decided that I did not feel like a boos encounter at this point.

I turned tail and ran all the way back to Andre, who I figured would be able to put my Enchanted Ember to good use, but he said that he couldn’t do anything with it. I’d have to find another forge to give this bauble to.

I returned to the forest, but explored the far half of the first section a little more thoroughly this time. Past the innumerable weed monsters, I found a path made up of ledges and ladders that led into and across the ravine, up to the other half of the forest. It seemed like a roundabout way of getting over there, since taking the bridge was much easier and a more direct path. I was able to get a good glimpse at the hydra in the basin below. It was by a very wide margin the biggest creature I’d ever seen, and I didn’t have even the slightest motivation to get anywhere near the thing again.

At the other end of this unusual trail was a small clearing. Around it was slightly elevated ground, lined very neatly with trees. It looked almost like a cage created by nature. On the other side of the tree line, I saw a large shadow stalking about. I crept close enough to get a better glimpse, and saw that it was a huge feline. The beast’s fur was thick and spiny, and its wide, toothy jaw looked like something out of a nightmare.

I decided that it would be best to try to engage the big cat from a distance. I stood by the ladder leading into the ravine, ready to bail if the beast charged me, and took aim with my bow and arrow. My first shot hit its mark. The cat turned toward me and charged, but stopped at the tree line and started to slowly back away, never breaking its eye contact with me.

It repeated this pattern indefinitely, as if it was afraid to step down into the lower clearing. So I just shot it to death with arrows. Two more cats showed up, but they just did the same stupid thing and I shot them both to death as well. It took a long time, and well over 100 arrows, but I felled them all without breaking a sweat. It was weird, but I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

As a bonus, the cat monsters didn’t reappear when I rested at a bonfire, as most other monsters did. So I’ll never know what was going on with them, but that’s alright.

Fresh off of my victory against the cats, I pushed open the misty doors with confidence and waltzed through them with a swagger. Past them was another clearing, this one much bigger, and lined on all sides with slippery rock formations. In the very center was an absolutely massive tombstone, and an equally gigantic sword thrust into the ground in front of it.

I strode forward to check it out, but before I got too close a giant dog leapt out of nowhere, pulled the sword from the earth with its mouth, and then started swinging it at me. A huge dog, swordfighting me. And I thought that I’d seen it all.

The dog was not a great swordfighter though, and I felled him without too much trouble. And by trouble, I mean physical resistance from the dog. I really didn’t want to kill or even fight the oversized canine, as he was the most adorable thing I’d seen since I woke up in the Demon Asylum. In fact, he was the only thing I’d seen in Lordran that wasn’t some sort of hideous beast. So, yeah, I had some emotional resistance to stabbing him. I kinda just wanted to give him a big hug and scratch his tummy.

For my troubles, I was awarded a ring called the Covenant of Artorias. It didn’t seem overly useful at the time, and this was one trinket that I found no pride in having acquired.

Tune in next time for Part 26: Return to Anor Londo

Dark Souls: Killer Forest

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan explored a cavern filled with skeletons and whatnot, and discovered a very important item.

I climbed out from the twisting caverns of the Catacombs and shielded my eyes from the sunlight. It had been a while since I’d been above ground, and the brightness was a little distracting while I was fighting the skeletons between the cave’s mouth and Firelink Shrine’s bonfire.

At this point, I was rocking a pretty significant surplus of souls, so I sauntered back to Andre’s forge in the Undead Parish. I had the blacksmith upgrade a bit of my gear, and then purchased the outrageously expensive Crest of Artorias from him. I had no idea what horrors that crest kept locked away, but I felt like whatever it was couldn’t be any worse than Anor Londo.

Heading back to the massive set of doors in Darkroot Garden, I slotted the crest into the circular indentation in the middle. The crest shone brightly and the doors opened on their own, revealing a vast forested area. I stepped in cautiously, and before I made it very far, I was accosted by ghostly wizard. He wasn’t like the malicious invaders that I had fought earlier, but he was no less fierce in his onslaught, tossing magical bolts at me like there was no tomorrow.

I defeated the wizard, at a great cost to my health, but as his figure faded from the world, another apparition jumped out from the trees. I had no choice but to run, and I quickly hobbled up the stairway and through the garden’s doors. I hung a quick right and hid in the shadow of the nearby wall, hoping to elude the spectre. But when I leaned against the wall, to my surprise, it simply vanished! Hiding behind this false wall was a most welcome bonfire. Now that I had a nearby rest stop, the woods ahead seemed that much less daunting.

Refreshing at the bonfire, I headed back to the forest. Straight ahead is where the ghosts lurked, and to the left was a cliff that dropped off into nothingness. I decided to see what was over to the right, hugging the wall to avoid and ghostly encounters. Unfortunately, that side of the forest is literally covered with weed-monsters. These guys are harmless if you’re fighting them one-on-one, but in a group of seven or more? Yeah, you’re boned. You Died.

I decided to take my chances with the ghosts again. I figured that at least I’d be able to take them on one at a time. I was wrong. I guess I walked a little too far into the trees, and two of the spooks flanked me on either side. I ran back to the doorway, and hid behind the staircase, hoping that they would lose track of me and go back to whatever they were doing before I showed up.

To my great surprise, both ghosts ran up the staircase and lept off the top, over my head, and into the abyss below. I stood there, dumbfounded, looking into the fog. After a few seconds, their souls floated up and added to my wallet.

That was a freebie.

There were a few more ghosts in the forest, and I decided that despite it being terribly unlikely, I’d try to have them run off the cliff again. And they did. Each and every one of them. I suppose that all of these guys died of massive head wounds.

Moving on, I came to the remains of a small tower that bridged a gorge between the two halves of the forest. Inside the rubble was a large cat-like monster. It noticed me before I walked in, but didn’t attack me. Instead, the creature talked to me. She warned me that the depths of the forest were a sacred place, and that I should turn around and leave. I stated that I had no intention of doing so, which made her quite cross with me. From that point onward, she refused to speak even a word to me.

At least she wasn’t trying to eat my flesh, I suppose.

The far side of the forest was comparatively peaceful. There were no ghosts, or weed monsters, or murderous statues or anything. There were a bunch of little mushroom-looking creatures running about in circles, but they didn’t appear to have any interest in me. I was cautious around them at first, but one came up behind me and simply brushed past me without so much as turning to look at me. Sure, why not?

But there was a darker side to these mushroom folk. In the center of this area was a small pond. In that pond were two much larger mushroom people. They were at least three times the size of the waist-high munchkins that toddled around endlessly. The big ones didn’t move at all. They simply stood watch over a treasure chest seated right in the middle of the pond. Obviously I went for the treasure, and even more obviously, the big mushroom guys didn’t like that much.

One mushroom-man stayed to protect their cache while the other began lumbering towards me. It slowly raised a fist, and I raised my shield to absorb the blow. When it connected, I was launched back several feet, and I’d taken a massive blow to my health. These mushroom-men were not fooling around. I got up and carefully engaged the mushroom. I swiftly evaded his next punch, but when I went to counterattack, he surprised me with a follow-up swing. You Died.

Tune in next week for Part 25: Throw Me a Frickin’ Bone

Dark Souls: Spooky

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan descended into the Catacombs, where necromancers and traps aplenty waited for her. Also a titanite demon ruined her day over and over again.

I made my way back down from the Catacombs’ bonfire to the mausoleum where the titanite demon lurked. Ignoring the statuesque monster, I made a quick right turn into the small room revealed by a broken wall. Upon stepping into the empty room, though, the weak floor collapsed and I fell into another dark room below.

Before I realized what had happened, I felt the sting of a blade tearing across my back. I was thrown forward by the blow, and summoning up what little strength I had left, I turned to face my attacker. A black knight towered above me, and between the impact of the fall and his first strike, I was too weak to do anything as he brought down his weapon to finish the job. You Died.

The second time in the room with the crumbly floor, I took things a little slower. I couldn’t find anything interesting, so I peered into the hole I’d made previously to see if I could get the drop on the black knight. I couldn’t see him, so I carefully hopped down into the room below. This time, it was curiously empty. I kept my guard up.

Given the time to assess my situation, I was able to notice this time that one of the walls in this room was missing, leading into the bottom of the giant chasm that made up the central feature of the Catacombs. It was covered in bones and gore from one end to the other, with a shallow stream running down the middle. I could make out a bunch of weird creatures moving about in the distance. I let an arrow loose in their direction, which got their attention pretty handily.

The odd monsters turned out to be skeleton wheels. They were much like normal skeletons, but with a massive, spiked, wooden wheel fused to them. The skeletons rode around on these wheels at an alarming speed, so I stood on the edge of the room and lobbed fireballs at them when they got close until they were all dead.

Exploring the chasm floor slowly and quietly, I found a fog wall on the opposite end, which I elected to ignore for the moment. On a nearby ledge, I could see a corpse dangling just out of reach, with the telltale glimmer of an item to be pilfered. It didn’t look like there was any way up there, so I’d have to have a look around at the higher levels to see if maybe there was a way down.

As I bumbled around in the mess of bones, I could hear a faint “tink tink tink” coming from somewhere nearby, but I wasn’t able to locate the source of the noise. Whether that was for better or for worse, I had no idea.

I rounded a corner that led into a narrow passage, and out of nowhere came that black knight who accosted me before. I fought with all my courage and strength, but the black knights are tough customers. It certainly didn’t help that he got an easy free strike by surprising me. You Died.

Heading back to the bottom, I decided this time to just clear out the skeleton wheels the normal way – with my axe. That didn’t go so well. You might not imagine that a pile of bones attached to an oversized wagon wheel would be so dangerous, but they are! They’re fast and hit like a truck. You Died.

Before entering the titanite demon’s mausoleum, I peered down into the chasm. It was too dark to make out anything from than height, but I could barely make out a small ledge quite a ways below me. I wasn’t going to try making such a long leap, but one of those damned exploding skulls had somehow avoided my blade, and spooked me from behind, sending me tumbling down into the darkness.

I landed on the ledge below with a sickening thud. Getting up slowly and having a look around, I saw that the small ledge with the corpse that I’d spied earlier was just a short hop down from the ledge I’d landed on. I climbed down and gathered a mace and some equipment that would better fit a priest. A summoning sign also made its home on this ledge, so I made use of it and called up a phantom named Paladin Leeroy.

Leeroy immediately jumped down and started tearing apart the skeletons wheels. With such a capable ally, I figured now would be a good time to see what was on the other side of that fog wall.

We passed through and jumped down into a small chamber than looked like some sort of experimentation room. It was covered in skeletons, and at the far end was a robe-covered figure hunched over an altar of some sort. The figure turned around, revealing a collection of three masks where its face should have been. Six lanterns on sticks sprouted from its back like spindly arms. The monster cast a spell and suddenly two copies of it appeared from out of thin air.

Leeroy ran at the monster with a fierce battle cry, while I desperately tried to fend off one of the copies. All at once though, the copies vanished and I turned to watch the monster wail in defeat and crumple to the ground. Leeroy looked proud of himself for besting it so quickly as he disappeared in a flash of light, as phantoms do.

I investigated the now lonely room and found a small tome on the altar called the “Rite of Kindling.” In it, I learned that I could kindle a bonfire up to three times, which would fill my Estus Flask with 20 charges as opposed to the basic 5. This would be my most valuable discovery yet.

Tune in next week for Part 24: Killer Forest

Dark Souls: Creepshow

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan ran away from Anor Londo because it as too hard, and met a giant snake monster that told her about her destiny.

I meandered around the Firelink Shrine graveyard, busting skeletons to pieces as they came, until I was fairly sure that I’d found any noteworthy bits of equipment and items that I’d missed during my previous expedition here. The skeletons were still fearsome foes, but my skills with a sword -as well as the sword itself- had improved since last time.

Unfortunately, my sword wasn’t going to be of much use where I was going. I needed the Divine Battle Axe that I’d had forged so long a go. A little birdie told me that divine weapons could put down the regenerating skeletons in the Catacombs for good, so I was going to have to learn how to use something other than my beloved Drake Sword.

The axe was unwieldy, but powerful. It was slow to swing, but a strong hit could temporarily shatter the top half of a skeleton to bits, leaving its lower half defenseless and open to attack for a few seconds. It took a bit of practice with the weapon before I felt confident taking it down with me into the depths of the Catacombs, but I had to press forward, and the only other option I knew of at the time was Anor Londo.

I was not going back to Anor Londo.

Creeping down the shadowy staircase, I kept my guard up, knowing that a skeleton and the screeching explody things were waiting in the darkness ahead. The first skeleton came at me, as if out of nowhere. I parried its attack and countered with a mighty blow from my shimmering axe. The divine weapon sent bones flying in every direction. I waited, keeping my shield at the ready. The bones didn’t move. I waited a little longer, nothing happened, and I moved on.

Inside the entrance to the Catacombs, I saw the faint lights floating around above the bottomless hole. They seemed a bit father than usual, which was a boon because they didn’t appear to notice me from that distance. I was curious to find out exactly what they were, but decided not to risk it. I continued down around the edge of the pit and busted up the skeleton that was waiting to ambush me at the bottom.

When I had come down here the first time, I was beset by immortal skeletons and inexplicable explosions, so I didn’t really have time to notice that the cliff at the end of the path did not lead to yet another bottomless pit. No, there was a floor below, maybe a ten-foot drop down. It was hard to see in the darkness, no wonder I’d missed it before.

I hopped down and was immediately attacked by a troop of skeletons, commanded by an undead man who confidently whipped fireballs at me from afar while his minions engaged me in close combat. I rolled away from the skeletons, and went after the necromancer. He ran, but there wasn’t anywhere to go. I struck him down, hoping his death would extinguish the force animating his bony buddies, but they continued to charge me.

I came out of the darkness of the crypt into a valley bathed in sunlight and prowling with skeletons and necromancers. The Catacombs were a massive, winding mess of tunnels, shafts, and catwalks. It was also full of statues, some of which would fire out spikes if someone stepped too close. Finding a bonfire in this place was a welcome reprieve, and getting to the bottom wasn’t nearly as difficult as surviving at the bottom was.

At the end of the main path was a long, narrow mausoleum build into the side of the valley. Waiting at the far end of this mausoleum was another titanite demon. This fight was much tougher than the first one, as the narrow hall made it difficult to get around to the back of the demon where it was relatively save. The big guy softened me up with a few blows of his staff, and then skewered me with a diving strike. You Died.

I worked my way back to the titanite demon, this time attempting to defeat it with a mix of fireballs and arrows. The strategy seemed airtight, until he reminded me that he could fling lightning bolts at me from his staff. Also, he has a pretty amazing range on that jumping attack. You Died.

A flat-out assault didn’t really work either. You Died.

Annoyed, my next plan for dealing with the titanite demon was to simply run past him. It worked like a charm, except that behind him was just a dead end. Oh sure, I found a few Eyes of Death back there, but those were absolutely useless to me. The demon wasn’t too happy about me taking its baubles, so it killed me again. You Died.

A couple attempts later, I was running away from an encounter with the demon that went bad very quickly, and as I dove to avoid a lightning bolt, I discovered another path off to the side, well out of the demon’s initial field of vision. I stopped to lament how stupid I’d been for not noticing it earlier, and that was just enough time for the demon to catch up with me. You Died.

Tune in next week for Part 23: Spooky

Dark Souls: A Different Approach

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan tried to break into Anor Londo castle, but got mercilessly killed over and over agin for her efforts.

The silver archers were starting to drain my enthusiasm. No. The gauntlet that led up to my inevitable death at the hands of the archers is what was really bugging me. Spinning that tower over and over again was such a chore. It was at this point that I decided to go back to the terrace bonfire and make that one my respawn point instead. It was a longer walk back across the bridge, but still took less time than waiting for the tower to do two spins after each death.

I’d lost count of how many times the archers had killed me, but I was still trying to find a way past them. There wasn’t one, though. There was only one way into the castle, and it was past these jerks.

Giving it yet another go, I steeled myself after disposing of the winged demons and started running up the buttress. I made it! But now was not the time for rejoicing! The ledge that led around the castle was very narrow, and a snigle misstep would send me to my death. Again. Also I still had those knights to deal with. Luckily, a stray wall was between me and one of them, so I only had to face off against the other to progress.

Gripping my shiled tightly as each massive arrow deflected off of it, I slowly edged towards my silver-plated foe. He stood unwavering in his position, loosing arrow after arrow even as I came within striking distance. The knight then exchanged his bow for a sword and shield, apparently intending to engage me in a swordfight on the precarious ledge. We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, and I began to worry. I had never faced such a patient foe before, and this knight had been just as agressive as the rest until just now.

Then I felt the arrow burrow into my back. The force of the impact slammed me into the wall and I bounced off of it, and down into the dark unknown. That stupid knight had just been stalling until his buddy was in a position to shoot me from behind. What a couple of dicks. You Died.

My spirit was broken. I was never going to get into the castle. So I headed back up the trail to the landing where I’d first set foot in Anor Londo, head hung low, and had the winged demons carry me back over the mountainside to Sen’s Fortress.

I trudged back to Firelink Shrine and rested at the bonfire, weary and not sure of what I was supposed to do. Then I noticed a strange clacking sound coming from behind me.

I turned around, and past a few crumbling walls, where there had used to be an empty area that resembled a pool, was a massive, horrifying head sticking out from a pit of inky blackness. The creature rhythmically clacked his teeth together as I approached it, and it seemed almost happy to see me, which was somewhat alarming in this hostile world.

The creature, who introduced himself as the primordial serpent, Kingseeker Frampt, was in fact delighted that I had shown up. Seems he’d been looking for the chosen one or some junk. I wasn’t overly interested in his story, but he did say that an object of great power, the Lordvessel, was hidden away in Anor Londo castle, and that he thought that I’d be the one who could obtain it.

Guess he hadn’t heard about my adventures in Anor Londo.

At least I knew what I was supposed to be doing. I had an objective now. But I decided to head off in the opposite direction and fight some skeletons in the graveyard instead. It had been a while since I’d been over that way. Also I owed them a little payback for all those times that they killed me when I first arrived in Firelink.

Tune in next week for Part 22: Creepshow

Dark Souls: Boot Stamping on a Hollow Face – Forever

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan fought a bunch of giant statue-men with varying degrees of success, and broke a really expensive-looking chandelier.

Flipping the massive lever at the base of the spinny tower again, I stood and waited until it had rumbled into position, completing the bridge from the terrace at the entrance of Anor Londo to the massive castle on the opposite side. I scaled the spiral staircase up to the bridge and was ambushed by another gargoyle, which I dispatched quickly.

Things were going swimmingly, and my head was beginning to swell with confidence.

On the other end of the bridge was a massive staircase leading up to the castle entrance. The castle, of course, was locked up tight, and there was a sentinel standing on either side of the enormous door. Being so excited to have reached the castle, I accidentally alerted them both at the same time, and, well, things happen. You Died.

To get back to the castle from the lower bonfire, I had to spin the tower twice. It was a little annoying.

The doorway sentinels were a huge pain, as it was very hard to get their attention one at a time, and then I was forced to fight them on the staircase. The uneven ground made a difficult enemy even harder, until I learned that I could use the lower ground to make evading some att acks easier. It wasn’t that’s much easier though. You Died.

Spin once to bring the tower down, spin it again to make it go back up.

It took me a few more tries to defeat both sentinels, and I always started with the one on the left. For no specific reason; it just felt natural. It was truly disheartening to learn that all that was behind that guy was a locked door. To make progress, I really only had to fight the one on the right. Even then, if I was able to just sneak past him, the gate I needed to go through was much too small for him, so I could have avoided all those fights and deaths entirely if I’d simply been more observant.

Taunting the sentinel from the other side of the gate was not a good idea though, as he was still able to spear me with his weapon through it. You Died.

Spin once to bring the tower down, spin it again to make it go back up.

Little did I know that the sentinels were really the least of my problems. On the other side of the gate was a balcony where a bunch of winged demons were hanging out. They were the same kind of demons that had flown me into Anor Londo, but these ones were much less benevolent. They each carried a spear that coursed with the power of lightning, which cost me a bit of health even when I blocked their strikes. The only saving grace here was that it was easy to bait the demons over to me one at a time. Fighting them all at once would have been suicidal.

From that balcony, I had to cross over another buttress to a small tower. I didn’t see anything at the other end, so I let my guard down and dashed across without hesitation. As soon as I stepped onto the tower though, two winged demons jumped out at me and started stabbing at me with their lightning spears. I turned tail and tried to run back across the buttress, but then they started throwing lightning spears at me, and a person can only take so many lightning spear to the back before they expire. You Died.

Spin the tower down, spin the tower up. Pass the sentinel, kill the balcony demons.

The demons on the small tower had a weakness: they could not cross the buttress back up to the balcony because the railings on either side made the path too narrow for them. I could simply stay slighty out of their range on the buttress, and quickly go in for an attack It felt like I was really getting away with something, but then I discovered that the spaces between the railings were not too narrow fro me to slip through if I wasn’t careful. And off into the blackness I fell… You Died.

Spin the tower down, spin the tower up. Pass the sentinel, kill the balcony demons.

The process of getting back to the stupid buttress was beginning to weigh on me. But this time, I killed those stupid winged demons, and I triumphantly began crossing yet another buttress that lead up to the wall of the castle. Then I heard a strange thwip noise, and another right after it. Then a massive javelin pierced my torso, knocking me onto the ground. The second javelin ran through me and everything went black. You Died.

Spin the tower down, spin the tower up. Pass the sentinel, kill the balcony demons. Kill the tower demons.

I hid behind a corner of the tower and took a look to see where those javelins had come from. Off in the distance, I could see a pair of silver knights standing on either side of the ledge lining the castle wall that I was aiming to get to. I crept around the corner to better assess the situation when I saw them both draw their huge bows. I tucked back behind the wall as they loosed their “arrows” and I heard the crash of steel piercing stone as the arrows hit the other side of the wall.

But the archers did not stop just because I was behind cover. I heard pair after pair of arrows collide with the wall, and decided that I’d have to just run for it. Probably shoudl have waited a bit longer though, as I only made it halfway across the buttress before one of the giant arrows hit me and the force of the impact sent me flailing into the abyss. You Died.

Spin the tower down, spin the tower up. Pass the sentinel, kill the balcony demons. Kill the tower demons.

I tried to cross over to the castle wall again, hoping that if I began my run before the archers noticed me, the head start would be the edge I needed to make it across. I did almost make it, but took an arrow to the thigh and went plummeting to my doom again. You Died.

Spin the tower down, spin the tower up. Pass the sentinel, kill the balcony demons. Kill the tower demons. Get killed by the archers. You Died.

*Sigh*

Tune in next week for Part 21: A Different Approach

Dark Souls: A Twisty Bridge Too Far

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan ascended the gauntlet of traps and snake-men known as Sen’s Fortress, met a ghost, and prepared to fight another boss.

Tarkus and I stepped through the fog wall at the top of Sen’s Fortess, and braced ourselves for the worst. Towering in front of us was an enormous golem made of iron armor. We immediately rushed the giant, and it readied its massive axe. Tarkus drew the golem’s attention as I slipped behind it, where I began to hack away at its calves.

I continued to whittle away at the golem’s health as it tried to keep on top of Tarkus, but the monster couldn’t manage to land more than a couple of hits on my ally before it finally succumbed to its wounds. As the golem crashed to the ground, Tarkus vanished in a flash of light. Where he once stood was now a floating ring that emitted a gentle glow.

Approaching the ring, I heard a flapping of wings coming towards me from above. A trio of wiry demons descended upon me, grabbing my arms, and flew me into the air. Unable to free myself or attack, I had no choice but to let the demons do their thing, and they carried me towards the peak of the massive mountain that Sen’s Fortress was built into. As we crested the top of the mountain, I saw a majestic, sprawling city, bathed in a clody sunlight. This was the legendary city, Anor Londo.

The demons dropped me off on a plateau at the top of a long stone staircase. I followed the path downward, where I came to the entrance to a huge building, with a massive stone sentry standing before it. As I approacehd the doorway, the sentinel came to life and brought his halberd down on me, giving me barely enough time to recat and roll away. The impact of the giant’s weapon shook the ground, and I weighed my options. Running away seemd like the best survival strategy.

I booked it out of there, but inside the building were another two sentinels, so I turned and dashed out the opposite doorway. It led onto a large open area where I could see out over the city, the central castle in perfect focus dead ahead. I ducked into a small door to my left and descended another staircase. At the bottom was a small room that cointained a bonfire and an undead woman in brass armor who called herself the Lady of the Darklling. As a fire keeper, she could upgrade my estus flask, but didn’t have much else to say.

I turned back to the building housing the two sentinels and slowly crept in along the wall, with the intent of only drawing the attention of one of them. My plan worked, and I lured it far enough away from its partner so that I could fight it one-on-one. Everything was going smoothly until I learned that despite their massive stature, the sentinels were perfectly capable of quick jumping attacks. I cursed the sky as the giant’s massive halberd crushed me into the floor tiles. You Died.

The second time around, I messed up and they both attacked me at the same time. You Died.

It took a while, but I finally leaned the sentinels’ attack patterns, bested them, and took the treasure that they were guarding. Across the way was an identical building, only behind this buildings pair of sentinels were two treasure chests. The sentinels in here assured me that I was not quite a master at fighting them yet. You Died.

Awakening at the bonfire, I steeled myself and fought my way past the second set of sentinels. I greedily dashed towards one of the treasure chests, which sprang open, baring a horrifying set of razor teeth, and clamped shut mere inches from my head. I ran with all the quickness as far as I could, but as I turned to see if I’d eluded the Mimic, I saw that it was still chasing after me. Rolling underneath its spinning kicks and evading its fearsome jaws, I fought the beast and won. No treasure was worth these creatures made of pure fear.

Opposite the bonfire room stood a bell tower at the end of a ledge, and in that bell tower was a simple lift that brought me down to a massive bridge leading straight to the Anor Londo castle. Before I could assess my surroundings, a gargoyle swooped out of the sky, nearly impaling me on its spear. The monster was reminiscent of th gargoyles I’d fought against on top of the Undead Parish, and I was able to fight this one without much trouble, as he lacked the benefit of an ally.

The bridge, however, caused me much more of a headache. The center of the bridge was at the top of a pillar: a pillar that appeared to rotate, as the section of bridge attached to it was set in the wrong direction, leaving a gap that I couldn’t possibly hope to cross. Scannig the surrounding area, I noted that a lower section of the tower connected to a cathedral running parralel to the bridge. I inched my way across a conveniently-placed buttress and broke through a window leading onto a balcony high above the cathedral floor.

Of course, there were no stairs leading down from this balcony. I was forced to make my way across the cathedral’s rafters to the opposite end, where the staircase was. This trip was made even more perilous by the half-dozen weirdoes dressed all in white that were hanging around up there. They’d be throwing knives at me as I was trying to carefully make my way across, and I wasn’t exactly the most graceful while taking them out; during the fray I accidentally severed the chain holding a giant chandelier and sent it crashing to the ground. Oops.

I came out the opposite end of the cathedral onto the bottom section of the twisty bridge tower. I flipped a huge lever, which spun the tower around, and granted me access to a small room containing nothing but some inanimate statues and a bonfire. Not that I’d complain about a bonfire.

Tune in next week for Part 20: Boot Stamping on a Hollow Face – Forever

Dark Souls: Dr. Fangs and the Electric Mayhem

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan ran the heck away from a vomity undead dragon, and stumbled onto a shortcut back to Firelink Shrine.

After resting a while in Firelink Shrine, I took the elevator back up to the Undead Parish. Not sntirely sure where to start looking, I walked out onto the nearby terrace and killed the zombies that were hanging out there. It was then that I noticed that off, across the forest was a huge fortress. That seemed like the knid of place that I should be checking out.

I stopped by Andre’s place to upgrade and repair my equipment, and then rested at the bonfire just above his hangout. From that bonfire, I could see out across a pathway to the entrance of Sen’s Fortress. I crossed the breidge hurriedly, but my excitement at exploring a new area was cut short by a couple of giant snake-headed sentries that came out of the shadows and hacked me to bits. You Died.

Running back across the bridge, knowing what was in store for me, I approaced the fortress entrance much more slowly. One of the snake-men approached me, and I inched forward to engage him in battle. Then he inexplicably fell dead. I wasn’t sure what happened, but I’m not too proud to take a freebie. I took on the second snake-man, who turned out to be just as proficient in fair combat as he was at surprise attacks. You Died.

A third attempt at Sen’s wasn’t any more fruitful. Though I did discover why that one snake-man spontaneously died: it turns out that there’s a pressure panel right in the entranceway of the fortress. Stepping on this panel will cause a trio of darts to shoot out of the wall at the hapless idiot who steps on that panel. Unfortunately, there was no snake-man between me and the darts this time. You Died.

Snake-men are pretty tough if you fight two of them at once. You Died.

Not even kidding. You Died.

This is getting a little pathetic. You Died.

Eventually, I was able to overcome the snake-men and proceed a little further into Sen’s Fortress. Which really is much worse than that first room. The next room is basically a giant pit with a narrow walkway stretched across the middle. Above the walkway are at least half a dozen swinging bladed pendulums. Halfway across is another snake-man, and somewhere up above is a thing that rains down lightning bolts on your head. It’s pretty great. You Died.

Sen’s Fortress is pretty much that over and over and over again. Dart traps, swinging blades, snake-men, snake-women that shoot lightning bolts. The lightning snake-women really were the worst, as they always seemed to find good sniping spots. I’d just be casually strolling along and then get knocked over by a bolt of lightning out of nowhere. Fun! Oh and also there’s a mechanism that rolls boulders throughout the corridors and stairways, which somehow always knows where you are and adjusts the boulders’ trajectories accordingly. Just assume that I saw the words You Died at least a dozen more times before I finally made it to the roof and found another bonfire.

One “hilarious” feature of the fortress is tucked away in a room that an explorere might miss if they aren’t thorough. In this room is a treasure chest. Only unlike any other treasure chests that I’d encountered previously, this one sprang to life. As I tried to open it, the chest opened itself and lunged at me, revealing a set of incredibl sharp teeth that were no doubt looking to feast on me. Then it grew arms and legs and started doing hurricane kicks at me. My mind was frozen with fear, but fortunately my body’s self-preservation instinct kicked in and managed to slay the mimic.

After that I just collapsed on the floor for a while and wept like a baby.

The roof of the fortress was no more friendly than the interior. Firstly, there was a giant standing on the very top who hurled exploding barrels at me the whole time. There was another tower knight up there, too. Unlike the one I fought in the Undead Parish, this one was not a pushover. In fact, he was pretty darn good at his job! You Died.

That tower knight happened to be off on a corner that I didn’t actually have to pass by though, so I opted to just ignore him. Moving forward, I scaled the outer part of the fortress, and killed the giant who was throwing those damn firebombs at me. Off on a stairway rounding a separate tower, I dueled and killed an undead man named Ricard and stole his rapier. I wasn’t much for fencing though, so it wasn’t really a great prize for my troubles.

Near the very top, I found a summoning sign, so I used it and the phantom of a knight known as Black Iron Tarkus came to my aid. Tarkus and I discovered a secret cage that acted as a shortcut between the top and the entrance of the fortress, and then we came to the fog wall. Afraid of what might be in charge of such a deadly fortress, I took a deep breath and stepped through the fog.

Tune in next week for Part 19: A Twisty Bridge Too Far

Dark Souls: Dragon Breath

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan wandered in a little too deep and got toasted by a giant lava man.

Bereft of my souls, and not too interested in wandering back into the lava giant’s domain to reclaim them, I decided that it was time to leave the Demon Ruins for now. In all likelihood, it would still be there if I came back later. A little birdie had informed me that ringing both bells had opened a fortress gate not far from the Undead Parish, so I began to make my way back to the surface.

On my way to the Blighttown bonfire, I noticed a large vertical pulley system that looked like it was built to ferry people up and down. I climbed up to it and hopped on. At the top of the lift, I found a ladder that headed farther upwards, and a small cavernous area in the stone. Entering the cave first, I was almost immediately beset by a team of blowdart jerks. I was able to take them out just before succumbing to the toxins that their blowdarts had inflicted upon me. You Died.

Frustrated that I hadn’t stopped by the closer bonfire before exploring, I hoofed it out of the Demon Ruins again, and made my way back through Queelag’s Domain. This time, I took a minute to warm up at Blighttown”s fire before heading back up the lift. I went back into the cavern, now void of blowdart jerks, and found myself a Fire Keeper Soul. This was a ridiculously valuable treasure, as it allowed me to upgrade my Estus Flask to restore more of my life with each swig. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the ability to use it on my own, so I’d have to find someone else to make the upgrade for me.

Leaving the cave, I began ascending the myriad ladders that led ever upward. It was a long climb, and I was consistently hindered by giant mosquitoes on my way up. Taking the time to slay each and every one of them was a waste though, as they were chipping away at my health at a good pace, and they weren’t quite fast enough to keep up with me as long as I kept moving.

At the top of the structure was a short tunnel infested with barbarians, who I dispatched ratehr quickly. On the other end of that tunnel, I came out in the middle of an enormous gorge. I want to say that the ledge I found myself on was about halfway down, but truth be told, I couldn’t see any bottom to speak of.

I slowly crept my way along the narrow ledge, crossing over a perilous rope bridge. I could hear a strange, repeating noise. A rumbling that came and went rhythmically. Poking my head around a cliff wall, I discovered the source of the noise: a sleeping dragon, clinging to the edge of the path I was on. Quietly, I crept closer, and noticed two things. Firstly, the dragon seemed to be half-rotting: a messy corpse of the great beast it once was. Though like too many of the corpses I’d seen during my travels, it was most certainly still alive. Secondly, the dragon was huddled over several human bodies, and what appeared to be a nice stash of treasure.

Obviously I couldn’t just ignore treasure. I sidled along the wall very slowly, careful not to make any noise, until I was basically staring the dragon right in the snout. I started collecting my bounty, a bunch of souls, a shield… as I set my hand on the sword that was laying right in front of the dragon, the undead beast roared to life and Immediately unleased a torrent of purply vomit at me. I was just barely able to dive out of the way, and another wave of icky barf was already rushign at me.

I up and ran away from the undead dragon, hastily clambering over the rope bridge and nearly tripping over my own feet as I sprinted down the narrow path. The dragon did not follow, opting to simply wait at his perch for any other prey foolish enough to get too close.

Following the valley in the other direction, I came to what seemed like a dead end at the base of a tower. Inside the tower was a mechanical lift that took me upwards. I came out in a dark cavernous area, and off in the distance I could barely make out what looked like a flooded ruin. Passive undead were all over the place here, and further exploration yielded another lift that took me up to… Firelink Shrine! Safety at last!

A mute girl here helped me to upgrade my Estus Flask, and then I started my juorney back to the Undead Parish. Again.

Tune in next week for Part 18: Dr Fangs and the Electric Mayhem

Dark Souls: The Magma Giant

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan travelled through a horrible swampland filled with giant mosquitoes and killed a humongous lava-puking spider with a naked lady glued to its head.

I wasn’t terribly keen on exploring the Demon Ruins right away, but decided that I’d at least poke around a bit before venturing off to somewhere a little less flooded with lava. It wasn’t a very long poke around either, as all there was to the area was the hill below my bonfire that was covered in egg carriers, and a ruin wall that I could run across the top of that led me to a Fog Wall.

Thinking that it was one of those fake-out Fog Walls that I’d seen in early parts of other locations, I walked through it with confidence. Said confidence immediately dissipated when the Fog Wall did not. Terrified of what I’d find here, I made my way forward along a pathway leading along the side of the rock wall. Peering off the edge, I could see nothing but lava below me, and the heat coming off of it was overbearing.

I rounded a corner and stopped dead in my tracks. Quickly scampering behind the wall, I looked out again at what had spooked me. A behemoth of a creature was standing out in the lava, just sort of staring mindlessly at the pathway that stretched in front of it. The creature glowed a bright red and looked like nothing I’d ever seen before. It was a vaguely human-shaped lump with a mess of tenacles or spider legs or… something jutting out of one side. I really wasn’t able to made heads of tails of it. All I knew is that I didn’t relish the idea of it attacking me.

Then, a lump on the front of it’s body turned toward me and I felt the gaze of six or seven or God knows how many eyes on me. But the creature didn’t move. There was nowhere for me to go but forward, so I crept out from behind the wall. The creature didn’t move. I slowly started walking toward it, ready to turn tail and run for my life. The creature didn’t move.

Indeed, the giant didn’t do anything as I strolled by right in front of it. It didn’t move; didn’t make a sound. Just stared at me as I walked by. Unfortunately, the path came to a dead end. I looked up at the rock wall and wondered what I was supposed to do. I saw a small altar tucked away in an alcove at the end of the path. There was a corpse on the altar, and I did what I’ve been doing this whole time: I looted it for valuables.

I heard a terrible roar behind me.

The ground shook as the giant came to life and unwound a giant arm that had previously been coiled around its body in a way that I didn’t even know it was there. It roared again and I ran. There was a narrow passage leading through the wall, and I rolled into it, hoping for some cover. The beast’s arm slammed down on the path where I had been standing, sening rubble flying everywhere and knocking me off my feet. I quickly stood up and continued down the path, eager to escape my attacker.

But the corridor on ly led back to the main path, and the giant had already rounded the corner when I got there. It looked at me menacingly, breathed in, and the last thing I saw was fire. So much fire. You Died.

Tune in next week for Part 17: Dragon Breath