Spooktober 2019 – The Deer God

So here’s a new thing… I did a video version of this review. Yup. Actually put a lot of effort into it, too. I’ve embedded it right up at the top here, and you can still read the text version below if you so choose.

It’s that time of year again: October! At that means it’s time for spook-’em-ups of all sorts! Actually, we’re already a week in and I haven’t done even a single thing relating to a pumpkin or a mummy. I am a terrible Halloween fanboy.

So here’s a video game! It’s called The Deer God and it’s from 2016. It’s a video game I bought because… the main promotional image is of a lone deer with eerie, glowing eyes standing atop a stone pillar against a nighttime backdrop with a prominent full moon. You can see why I thought that maybe this would be seasonally appropriate.

Spoiler: It’s not.

Continue reading Spooktober 2019 – The Deer God

What is a Pop-Tart?

A miserable little pile of frosting.

Overused references aside, I’ve been doing more Pop-Tarts reviews over the last couple months. Since the blog’s been dead and all, I took some time off from the internet and then decided to go back to working on video content for a bit. I’ve posted a video every Sunday for nine weeks in a row now, which is incredibly consistent for a flake like me.

I was actually considering starting other video-based content since I wasn’t doing anything with this blog, but who knows now? Writing is just so much easier. Anyhow, here’s the most recent Pop-Tart Review. It’s mediocre!

Welcome to October

Hey. I’m back. I’m writing blogs again. We could simply pretend like nothing ever happened and there was never an eight-month gap in posting, but for the sake of posterity, here’s the story:

Way, way back in January of 2019, I randomly visited the site of my webhost, TopClassHost. Their website was gone, and in its place was a single page that said (and I’m paraphrasing) “We’re shutting down and your websites will be gone as of March 10. So long, losers.”

So I was faced with a decision: stop blogging, or pay someone else for webspace. It was a tough choice, since TopClass was the cheapest around and I’m too poor to really go with a more ritzy provider. So I did what I usually do when faced with a difficult choice: nothing at all.

Long story short, some time passed and then my good friend Edwin, who knows all about this kind of thing, more or less took it upon himself to make this silly website work again at a reasonable cost. What a pal! I bought him a pizza as a show of appreciation, which may not be a fair trade considering how much time and effort he’s put into this.

Now we’re getting into the Halloween season, but I don’t know if I’ll be posting much in that spirit. I’ve continued to write junk here and there, on the odd chance that this website was ever resuscitated, so I’ll be cleaning up and posting a lot of backdated material for the next who-knows-how-long. Look forward to the 2019 archive slowly filling itself in!

Post Script: WordPress has changed dramatically in the last eight months and I kind of hate it.

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: September 2019

~ Game Over ~

Final Fantasy X HD Remaster (PS4) – I’ve never really played FFX before, and I have to say… This is an excellent game! The story was fun and surprisingly emotional, and the battle system is really something else. Definitely a top tier FF. At least if you’re playing casually or maybe even speedrunning. The most important thing I took away from it is that going for 100% or really any of the post-game is a fool’s errand and nobody should ever bother trying. I don’t think I’ve ever spent so much time grinding in any other single video game. Post-game content is not fun here.

Bastion (Switch) – This is another game that has a very good reputation but I’d never played it until now. I am less excited about this one. Not that it isn’t good… I just think I would have got more out of it back in 2011 before indie games got real big. I liked the unique storytelling, though the gameplay felt a little hollow and I can’t really articulate why.

Spyro the Dragon (PS4) – I guess September is like “discover beloved older games month” for me. And I’ve listed them here in descending order of how much I like them. Honestly I don’t really get why people dig Spyro so much. It’s fine, I guess. But really you mostly just walk forward and gather gems and dragons. It’s like if Super Mario 64’s power stars were just sitting out for you to collect at your leisure. Also the bosses are all really terrible. I really grew to enjoy the flight levels, at least. And it’s a spectacularly pretty remake.

~ Progress Notes ~

Pixel Puzzle Collection (iOS) – 90.2%

Super Kirby Clash (Switch) – Levelled to 59

Astral Chain (Switch) – Currently on File 07

Monster Hunter World: Iceborne (Switch) – Up to the Acidic Glavenus quest

Yoshi’s Island (SNES) – World 2-8

Pic-A-Pix Pieces (Switch) – 14/20 panels complete

Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage! (PS4) – About halfway done, as the gems fly.

Zelda: Link’s Awakening (Switch) – Cleared Level 8

Nintendo Direct – Sept 4/19

Overwatch – Wait, people still care about Overwatch? I kid, I kid. But seriously, I wonder how this will go over. It seems like it’s coming too late, but the Switch is still hot, so who knows. I won’t be playing it, that’s for sure.

Luigi’s Mansion 3 – I skipped this whole segment because I do not want to know any more about this game before I actually play it.

Super Kirby Clash – I spent months playing this freemium game on 3DS and now it’s back and with a ton more content and more multiplayer options. Here we go again…

Trials of Mana – Having played the original many times… there wasn’t much “news” here for me. Your characters’ costumes change when you change class. Imagine that! Still, I think this is currently my most anticipated game of 2020.

Return of the Obra Dinn – The video locked up while this was playing but it was fine because it didn’t seem like anything I cared about.

Little Town Hero – I was already provisionally excited because Original RPG by Game Freak, but then they say that the soundtrack was done by Toby Fox and I’m like Hell Yes Mexicans!

Smash Ultimate – Banjo and Kazooie today! Hooray! Also I know lots of people wanted a more… diverse SNK rep, but I’m super happy for Terry Bogard. White guys gotta smash, you know?

Link’s Awakening – Skipped this too because it’s two weeks out and I want any new content to be a surprise.

Dragon Quest XI S – Skipped this too because I’m not buying it again. It’s a really excellent game, but a double-dip just doesn’t fit into my time or money budgets. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: DQXI is the last game that needs more content.

Tokyo Mirage Sessions – I won’t lie, I’m interested, because I never played it on Wii U. But, I do own it on Wii U, so I’ll probably just continue to never play that copy.

Deadly Premonition 2 – Speaking of games that I own for other consoles but have never played, I have the first Deadly Premonition on Xbox 360 and I still hope to make time for it one day…

Deadly Premonition Origins – Aww man, I’d definitely be more likely to make time for it if I had it on Switch. 

Divinity: Original Sin 2 – I kind of hate the title, but my boss has told me many good things about the first game, so I’m interested. Though I likely still won’t buy this, it’s nice that it’s on Switch.

Doom 64 – I was very excited by this announcement, even though I have gone on record calling Doom 64 “poop from a butt”. I don’t know why I remember it so fondly.

Rogue Company – Online team-based shooter? Nope. Not for me.

Pokémon Sword & Shield – Uninteresting new features, but Galar pokémon continue to be excellent. I am a big fan of Cramorant, and Polteageist is my new favourite pokémon ever.

Tetris 99 Version 2 – Cool. I wish I played more Tetris 99. Maybe now I will?

Mario & Sonic 2020 Olympics – Skipped. I just don’t care.

Daemon X Machina demo 2 – Skipped. I do care, but I don’t need another demo. The first one already sold me. (Although this may have to wait for Xmas or something.)

Jedi Knight II – I rented this for GameCube once, and it was really fun. I didn’t finish the story mode, but I played a lot of multiplayer against the AI. Don’t feel the need to revisit it, though.

The Witcher 3 – Skipped. I know this is a very popular and acclaimed video game, but it does absolutely nothing for me.

Assassin’s Creed Rebel Collection – Speaking of popular games that do nothing for me…

Dauntless – I played it a bunch on PS4 and liked it, but decided to break it off after about a month. It does a lot of neat things to differentiate itself from Monster Hunter, but also it’s really buggy and the monster designs are kinda bland. A Switch version isn’t gonna reel me back in.

Sizzle reel – Skipped because it seemed to be a lot of generic racing and Just Dance.

Animal Crossing: New Horizons – Nope. I’m not going through that again. Never again. Never, never, never.

Xenoblade Chronicles Definitive Edition – Yes, I will buy this game a third time. Xenoblade is probably my favourite Wii game, and now it’s got good character models and new content. Though, like DQXI, it really doesn’t need any more content…

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: August 2019

~ Game Over ~

PictoQuest (Switch) – This picross RPG came out of nowhere, and I fell for it so hard. Like, so hard. Truth be told, it’s not really special in any way and is a little too short, but it’s a solid game. The RPG mechanics make things a little more exciting, but thankfully never come even close to getting in the way. Unlike Jupiter’s Picross games, it has more than three music tracks, and some of them are legit bangers. The graphics are cute and colourful, and the puzzle solutions have a vague fantasy theme. It’s good! But there are only like 100 puzzles and I devoured them in no time.

Dragon Quest Builders 2 (Switch) – This may be a perfect sequel: all of the good stuff from the first stuck around, and everything less good was either fixed or removed altogether. Hammer durability is gone. You can unlock infinite stocks of common materials. Bosses are somewhat less tedious. Enemy contact damage is gone. I just wish I had more creativity, so that I could truly enjoy the free-build island and post-game. Alas, I don’t really have time for it anyway. Rest assured though, this is definitely one of the best video games of 2019.

Command & Conquer ‘95 (PC) – Remember when I started replaying this a few years ago? I randomly felt the need to pick it up again so I did. And then I cheated to get past the level I was stuck on, which I’m reasonably sure is impossible to clear legitimately (GDI mission 11, if you’re interested). I tried about 25 times, so I feel like I gave it more than a fair shake. Anyway, I went on to clear the rest of the GDI campaign, and I think this marks the first time I’ve finished any C&C campaign. Don’t plan on playing NOD; I may just go into a sequel.

Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End (PS4) – I’ve never had even a slight interest in the Uncharted series, but here we are. I’ve now played through the last one. It’s… perfectly fine. Needed more puzzles. I’m kind of over the “follow-the-grips” style of climbing gameplay these days. Breath of the Wild ruined me by letting me free-climb everything. The shooting parts are also… fine. It seems like trying to stealth your way through is not an actual viable strategy, but rather a way to take out the first two guys of an encounter without getting shot at. It’s like The Last Of Us, where stealth exists, but the developers really just want you to shoot everyone. AMERICA! GUNS!

Peggle (PC) – Technically I only played around half the game, as it was a co-op run, switching off after beating or failing a stage. And… I failed a lot. I’m not great at Peggle. Though I have to say it’s a surprisingly good casual time-waster. We sat and played for four hours straight. Might have been longer if it hadn’t been a work night and I had to go home to bed. 

~ Progress Notes ~

DOOM II (Switch) – Got brickwall’d on “Tricks & Traps”. SO MANY Hell Princes.

Pixel Puzzle Collection (iOS) – 75.6% complete

Pic-A-Pix Pieces (Switch) – 10.5/20 panels complete

Final Fantasy X HD Remaster (PS4) – Sidequesting before entering Sin.

Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate (Switch) – Just plugging away at quests.

Kindergarten (PC) – Completed two storylines.

Superbeat XONiC (Switch) – Did the first planet of mission mode and a bunch of free play.

Bastion (Switch) – Did maybe like seven or eight levels.

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: July 2019

~ Game Over ~

Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate (Switch) – I have now technically finished the multiplayer component, having defeated the final boss and removed my HR limit. But of course there are still tons of quests left to complete, and even a handful of monsters I haven’t fought yet. How much more will I actually play? Probably at least once a week or so until the current season of The Bachelorette wraps up, at least, since that’s the night when my brother and I get together to play.

Detroit: Become Human (PS4) – While I didn’t really like the previous QuanticDream games (Heavy Rain was legit bad and Beyond: Two Souls just felt like work), Detroit was a lot more enjoyable for me. I’m still not into the QTE gameplay style and the plot was just a mountain of tropes, but the characters were interesting and I enjoyed their stories. Also, it achieved that rare feat of making me feel like my decisions actually meant something. It may just be because there are flowcharts of all the possible story branches for each chapter, but I’ll give Detroit the point for it all the same.

Detroit: Become Human (PS4) – A second run was conducted… for science!! That is to say, I played again and made a lot of really bad decisions in an effort to make life terrible (or end) for as many characters as possible. And it was BRUTAL.

Picross S3 (Switch) – I completed all of Mega Picross mode. Which makes it the first Picross S title that I’ve actually finished to 100%. Neat! I’d feel more compelled to do these Mega puzzles if they were unique, instead of being slightly harder tweaks of the regular puzzles.

Kid Tripp (Switch) – Picked it up on sale for 80 cents, on a recommendation from Talk Nintendo Podcast. Even for less than a dollar, it didn’t really jive with me. It’s a side-scrolling runner, which is fine, but it’s also quite hard and has limited lives for some reason.

Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (Switch) – I was really getting into this, and then about an hour away from beating it, I got Dragon Quest Builders 2, and all that momentum vanished. But then I picked it back up just before the end of the month and powered through. It’s a very good game! Though also very rough around the edges. I’d love to play it through again and try out some different powers (I found some I liked and just stuck with them), but I just can’t see myself being able to make time for it anytime soon.

~ Progress Notes ~

Pixel Puzzle Collection (iOS) – 59.6% completion rate

Dragon Quest Builders 2 (Switch) – Cleared Skelkatraz

Super Mario Maker 2 (Switch) – About 50% castle built in story mode

Secret of Mana (Switch) – Next destination: Pandora Ruins.

Fishing Star! World Tour (Switch) – At the boss of “world 3”

Pic-A-Pix Pieces (Switch) – About halfway done? I think?

Dr. Mario World (iOS) – Haven’t even finished the tutorial, tbh

Pokémon GO (iOS) – Shoutouts to the new Team GO Rocket mechanic.

Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End (PS4) – Solved a Jesus-based light puzzle

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: June 2019

~ Game Over ~

Castle of Heart (Switch) – I wrote a full review of this one.

Refunct (Switch) – I liked the screenshots, and decided why not spend the $2.50? Well, it’s… an incredibly simple game. Jump across the platforms to the beacon. Watch more platforms rise out of the water, and then jump to the new beacon. Repeat a couple dozen times until complete. It took me about half an hour to 100%, but it was a nice, relaxing game. I’d happily buy a sequel with a stronger focus on puzzles.

Mutant Mudds Super Challenge (Switch) – It’s Mutant Mudds again, but this time it’s hard as nails. More spikes than you can shake a stick at, and way more situations that require pixel-perfect movement and/or timing. Also, bosses that actually get easier as you go. And a fancy new death counter. I died just under 250 times before completing the game. Though I didn’t manage to find even one hidden character. *shrug*

A Hole New World (Switch) – An alright game that I bought because it looks (visually) a lot like Shovel Knight. It plays kind of like a linear Mega Man, where you get a new power from each boss, but you are forced on a track from Stage 1 to Stage 7. Levels are huge and ripe for exploring, but all of your attacks (until the last stage) have weird trajectories, which makes dealing with monsters more cumbersome than it needs to be. Also the final boss has so much life and you have so little life that it feels really unfair, and I could not defeat him. In the end, I’m glad I got this for like 75% off, as I really didn’t like it as much as I was hoping to.

Final Fantasy Adventure (Switch) – I rented this once, waaaaaay back in grade 7, and I think I got to somewhere around Medusa? All I remember about it was walking an infinity symbol around two trees in the desert to make a cave open. It’s a somewhat obtuse game that doesn’t always direct you all that well, and having to constantly switch weapons was annoying, but I would say that I actually quite enjoyed my time with it. It’s a very ambitious Game Boy game, and certainly a lot longer than I expected. 

Final Fantasy IX (PS1) – I really like this game, but am honestly a little disappointed by how linear it is. You don’t get even a boat until halfway through disc three! Glad I got around to replaying it, as I’ve never gone back after my first run. I like the chocobo treasure hunting mini-game, but the chocobo hot-and-cold minigame is so tedious if you don’t cheat. The final boss track is so good but I would very much like a version with the weird moaning removed please.

Dragon Quest Builders (PS4) – This is more or less the game that convinced me to buy a PS4, so it makes me sad that I took nearly three years to really dig in and finish it. I played the first two chapters at launch, and then it got lost in the shuffle somewhere. But now I’ve gotten to the end, and what a spectacular ride it was. In fact, I liked it so much that I kept playing for all the trophies, which meant completely replaying three of the game’s four chapters. The in-game speedrun challenges for each chapter are surprisingly fun, and I’m thinking that if I were to try doing a for-real speedrun, this would be my game. But I lack the motivation, equipment, and free time for that kind of thing, so.

~ Progress Notes ~

Pixel Puzzle Collection (iOS) – 45.0% complete

Dauntless (PS4) – My guy is level 22, however much that matters.

Secret of Mana (Switch) – Working through Elinee’s castle

Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate (Switch) – Apparently I’ve barely played G-rank

Detroit: Become Human (PS4) – On chapter “The Stratford Tower” (about ? of the way)

Picross S3 (Switch) – A little more than halfway through Mega Picross mode

Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (Switch) – 22% map completion.

Super Mario Maker 2 (Switch) – Made one stage and played through 50 on infinite mode.

Rocksmith (PS4) – Back on the guitar now that school’s out for the summer.

Nintendo @ E3 2019

It’s that time of year again, E3 time. The time when all the big video game companies (and small video game companies too) come out to show off their upcoming wares. The most hyped week of commercials in all the year.

Like I always do, I’m going to write up a list of my thoughts on all the stuff that Nintendo showed off in their big presentation. “Why just Nintendo?” you ask. Because that’s where my heart is. Other companies show off neat stuff from time to time, but when it comes down to it, I always get the most excited about the new Nintendo games. And I find that this gets more true with each passing year, as video games in general become less and less exciting to me.

To be 100% honest, the most exciting non-tendo announcment for me so far has been the FF8 remaster. Because of course it is. So let’s get on to the show.

Smash DLC – YES DQ HEROES

DQXIS – I have it on PS4, no need for a re-buy. Even if there is more content. The last thing DQXI needs in more content.

Bowser Mix-up – That was a fun skit

Luigi Mansion 3 – Down To Play… You can never leave…? is it the Hotel California? I like the Gooigi angle. King Boo is in the trailer… So is he not the main villain? No release date is weird.

Dark Crystal Tactics – I like the look of this strategy RPG, but man I strongly dislike The Dark Crystal

Link’s Awakening – Just hook it to my veins! Releasing in September!?!? Whaaaaaat I had it budgeted for December! And it now has some sort of custom dungeon builder? Weird, but it could be cool.

Trials of Mana – HOLY FARTS all I wanted was an official translation of Seiken 3 and SquareEnix gives me THIS instead? What have I done to deserve something so beautiful??? I’m not worthy!

Collection of Mana – Oh hey it’s that official translation of Seiken 3 that I wanted. Plus two other games. Neat! Wait what… AVAILABLE TODAY!?!?

Witcher 3 – I want to care, but I don’t have the time (see the last three bullets)

Fire Emblem Three Houses – I don’t even want to care about this one. Sorry, Fire Emblem. You’re not for me.

Resident Evil 5 & 6 – Neat. I might buy 5 again, when it goes on sale. I really like RE5. Six, less so. I don’t know why there was a bit about making some actors play RE1 in a spooky house, though. Why should we be more excited to play RE on the go than anything else?

No More Heroes 3 – YESSSS  (less so to the 2020 release date, but I can wait)

Contra Rogue Corps – I’m happy that there’s a new Contra game… But it’s not for me. Because it looks bad. Really bad.

Contra Anniversary Collection – Meh. But I would rather have this than Rogue Corps.

Daemon x Machina – Yep, still hype for this. Even after the demo failed to impress most other people. But how can this also come out in September?

Panzer Dragoon – You’re not Star Fox. Looks lame.

Pokemon Sword and Shield – Pokeball Plus functionality… I don’t care. Nessa is cute tho.

Astral Chain – Extradimensional attack.. That’s enough for me, I’m sold. It looks so sweet. I absolutely can’t wait for this one. So it’s good that it comes out in August!

Empire of Sin – Nothing about this is appealing to me

Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3 – I’d like to play this, but I think the rest of my 2019 video game budget has been allocated already. And it seems like it would lose a lot to play it all by my lonesome.

Cadence of Hyrule – It looks cool, but I’m going to wait on reviews for this one.

Mario and Sonic Olympic Something – Feh.

Animal Crossing – I was done with Animal Crossing after New Leaf. This isn’t looking like it’s going to change my mind. So I really don’t mind the delay.

Sizzle Reel – I think the only thing in there that I’m legit interested in is Doom Eternal. And I am VERY interested in Doom Eternal. Maybe the Crystal Chronicles remake. Stranger Things 3 still looks lame 🙁

MORE Smash DLC – Banjo and Kazooie! This is ALMOST as good as the DQ heroes! It just makes me sad that there are no BK games on Switch.

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: May 2019

~ Game Over ~

3D Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (3DS) – I don’t really know what to say. It took me probably just as long to get through Chemical Plant Zone as it did every other level combined. Plus, despite all my efforts, I just don’t find Sonic very fun. Almost thirty years I’ve been trying to like Sonic games, but I can’t get there. Sonic 2 in particular has excellent art and great music, but it’s just not fun. #SonicWasAlwaysBad.

METAGAL (Switch) – A blatant Mega Man ripoff, but it’s actually pretty good! While the key art is a bit ugly, the in-game visuals are really nice, and the controls are surprisingly tight. METAGAL is also a few stages short of a full Mega Man, but makes up for that by being unexpectedly difficult and ranking you on your performance to encourage replays. My only major complaint is that special weapons are all tied to the same (very short) energy bar, and while it refills automatically, it harshly limits your use of anything but your basic shot.

Picross S3 (Switch) – It feels like ages since the last Picross (it was October of last year), so it was nice to have a new set of puzzles to hack away at. It’s more or less exactly the same as the last two in the S series, but this one has a cool new Colour Picross mode where you solve puzzles with multiple colours. And it comes complete with animated solutions! I don’t think Jupiter has done those since the Super Famicom days! Though why they’re only in Colour Picross mode, I’ll never know.

Mutant Mudds (Switch) – I bought the Mutant Mudds Collection. Again. For $4. And then I proceeded to play through all the first game’s original content in a single sitting. Then I did all of the “Deluxe” version content in another (Ghost and Granny levels). I really like Mutant Mudds, but I hate those few jumps where you have to fall then jetpack in under an overhang to a tunnel that is exactly your character’s height. I don’t know if I described it very well, but if you’ve played the game, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

My Lovely Daughter (Switch) – A game about giving life, and then taking it away in the most macabre ways imaginable. Well, sort of. I wrote a whole big thing. Go read it maybe?

~ Progress Notes ~

Final Fantasy IX (PS1) – Cleared Ipsen’s Castle (w/ gold chocobo!).

BOXBOY! + BOXGIRL! (Switch) – Up to World 12.

Castle of Heart (Switch) – Finished Chapter 1.

Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch) – Handful of shrines, started Zora quest line.

Pixel Puzzle Collection (iOS) – 18% complete

Dauntless (PS4) – I don’t even know how to gauge progress here.

Mutant Mudds Super Challenge (Switch) – Completed World 2