Save me

The time change was nice, I got an extra hour of sleep, which could have been used to work on two huge assignments due Wednesday and Thursday that I have no time to work on now. Like I said, it’ll be a busy week, and I’ve just been looking over some of my old stuff, and noticed that (if counting all Chat Radios separately, guides as one, and the gallery as one) I have 30 unique things to read/look at on the site. Getting close to that 50. Someday.

Aside from that fact that ripping pics from .jpgs in MS Paint is incredibly slow and annoying, I’m doing pretty well with the next article. Remember, it’ll be twice as long as usual, so it’ll be worth it in the long run. I hope everyone enjoyed the OliverBot chat. I’ve read through it like 5 times and find it funny every time, so I assume others will enjoy it as well. And I redid the gallery, and made thumbnails so it should take less time to load.

Last thing I want to mention, is that I’ve written a small review of one of the movies I watched this weekend, I might do one for the other if I feel that it’s absolutely necessary, or if I’ve got time to waste, or homework to do. So check that out under the new category on the Articles page. That’s about it for now. Adios.

~Ryan out.

28 Days Later

Today I’m gonna try something new. It’s what I’m gonna call a “mini-review”. It’s just like a normal article, except it’s a lot shorter and has no pictures. Plus the lack of proper intro and conclusion. This doesn’t count, it’s just explaining how the mini-review works. Maybe sometimes there will be a couple pics, but not for today at least. I think that I’ll start on a high note today, and review my first movie. Sure, I said I’d do a review of Airplane, but that fell through because I can’t find it and I swore off downloading movies and music. So like the title says, I’m gonna take a quick look at the newest zombie horror-type film, 28 Days Later.

Now before I get into it, 28 Days Later is not your standard zombie flick. Sure, the plot might be somewhat similar to a certain movie about a certain Resident Evil, but on the whole, it’s a very original movie, in all respects. At least I think so.

It starts off with some animal rights geeks busting into a monkey testing lab. A lone scientist begs them to get out and leave the monkeys in the cages, but you know those anal animal rights geeks. They don’t listen, and bam! world-threatening situation. See, these monkeys were infected with what the now-dead science guy calls “rage”. It seems that it turns the carrier into a bloodthirsty monster. And now the plot is settled.

The greatest part of the movie is undeniably the way the title is worked in. After the monkey attack, the screen goes black, says “28 days later…” in the corner, and goes to 28 days after the incident. Here we find our hero, cleverly named Jim, naked and alone in a hospital. He awakes to find the place a mess and the city deserted. After stumbling around for a while, Jim runs into his first “infected”, ironically, a priest. He runs, and several infected chase him until they’re blown up by some mysterious masked not-infected.

So they save him and get all “we need to survive” on him. I only remember the chick’s name was Selina (I think), because the other guy gets hacked to bits later on. Then Jim and his new buddy find some other buddies, a fat guy named Frank and his daughter Hannah. They all go on a road trip to find some kind of sanctuary. And then Frank gets mad at a crow, resulting in the dropping of infected blood in his eye. Oh, I forgot to mention that the “rage” travels by blood, and getting even a single drop of it in your bloodstream will have you turn into a murderous animal of your former self within 22 seconds.

I’ll leave you there, because I don’t want to spoil the rest of the movie for you. Already I think I’ve given too much away. Then again, you know from the first time you see him that Frank is gonna die. So I’ll say that I’m in the clear this time. Now to look at the more cinematograpical parts of the movie. It’s fun to make new words.

I’m not sure why, but people seem to be very critical of actors’ acting ability. Personally, I can’t tell exactly what good acting is from bad acting, so it’s really all the same to me. I suppose that you’d say the actors are good in this particular movie. I know that the infected give rather convincing performances. Especially the army guy, who you’ll get to know better when you watch the movie.

Speaking of the infected, they are what really separate this film from other zombie flicks. These guys are not your daddy’s zombies. While they look like the generic zombie (perhaps less decaying) they certainly don’t act like ’em. These guys are fast. They run like Hell until they’ve caught their prey or die trying. They’re essentially people reduced to the lowest form of animal consciousness, and covered in gore. Not to mention their enjoyable pastime of spitting up buckets of blood.

The music is for the most part what you would expect, very moody and frightening. But when things aren’t totally down the crapper for the stars, the music is very upbeat and happy, soothing even. I don’t know how to explain why it works, but it does. And (to my knowledge) it’s all made specifically for the film, no bands of any sort that I could recognize.

As for anything else, the special effects were great. Actually, all effects were great. They actually filmed it in London of wherever, and somehow they did it without any signs of life at all. No lights on, no car, no people, no noise. Nothing. It’s really something you can think about and appreciate. The infected effects were above par, mostly because they didn’t have to do the falling apart like most zombies, and just put lots of fake blood all over them and pop in some red contacts. I should also mention that there is a nice amount of exploding in the flick, and good explosions can salvage almost any movie. I also liked when they did “infected-cam” scenes. I’m not totally sure why, but they were a fun part of the movie.

The DVD extras are always my least favorite part. They’re usually crappy storyboards or music videos. This one came with storyboards, production photos, and a nice surprise, 3 extra endings. My beef is that two of the endings are the same ending, just cut into two. The third one, the “Radical Alternate Ending” is the crème de la crème of special features. It’s a storyboard with voice-overs that shows a completely different end, not just with a minor twist like the previous two. I would have loved if it had been shot and put in, as it seemed like it would be enjoyable to watch. Heck, I liked it a little more than the real ending. I’m not sure if there were any other features, cause I didn’t check, but chances are they weren’t worth checking out anyway.

Overall, I really loved 28 Days Later. It wasn’t scary in the least, but it was a lot of fun. The only part I didn’t like was the brief and obscure wang shots, and the man butt. But those were over right away, and they were quick so they didn’t interfere too much. Sadly, that was the only type of nudity in the movie, but that can be forgiven. There was plenty of blood and gore, which I loved. Nothing better for a horror than tons of gore. There was plenty of cursing, which I’m impartial to, and the “attempted rape” scene was barely that. The story was solid, at least I think so, and it made enough sense to be plausible. This movie definitely gets my seal of approval. A+

The Good Stuff:
  • Seamless title integration
  • Plenty of gore
  • Plausible story
  • Cool, ass-kicking pseudo-zombies
  • One sweet bonus ending (even if it is in storyboards)
    		•
    The Bad Stuff:
  • Hollywood zombies will never be the same…
  • Man ass
  • The other two bonus endings are lackluster
    		•

    Losing my grip

    Remember that week-long thing I was yapping about last news post? Well, it’s gonna be pushed back until the first week of November, as I haven’t done it this week, and I’m very busy every day next week. The MegaMan themed article is written out, and now I have to splice pics without Photoshop. That will be my excuse as to why they look crappy and why it’s taking so long. In other news, I’m bored. I miss F-Zero GX.

    ~Ryan out.

    My first “conversation” with the OliverBot

    Throughout history, there have been many, many websites created. Of course, by history, I mean in the past few years. Now these websites, they are all intended for some sort of purpose, some more mind-boggling than others, but they do indeed all have purposes. Whether that purpose is to educate, entertain, or just exist is all up to the webmaster. Now I can say I’ve seen some great sites and some terrible sites. And today, I’m venturing into one of those terrible sites. Very terrible indeed. Need to type more words to make intro seem longer and more pertinent.

    So I was visiting Bored.com the other day. Actually, my friend was doing the visiting, I was over at his house supervising the site visiting. But it is not Bored.com that is at fault today. At least, not entirely. There are plenty of links to things to do at Bored.com, all of them at least mildly entertaining. Sometimes the entertainment comes from laughing at how bad the site is, but nevertheless, they all have some sort of entertainment value. But what we found that day was beyond anything I’d ever had the net throw at me before. It was indeed a one-of-a-kind website. It was barely a website at all. What we’d found was OliverBot.

    OliverBot.com was not so much a website, but something to chat with when you get sick of all the other chat rooms on the internet filled with desperate jackasses looking for cyber-poon. It might not seem like such a bad idea at first, but then you try it. Based solely on the jargon that it spurts out, I believe that no human being could possibly conceive a worse pretend friend. So for the purpose of trying to entertain you, I tried to engage in a conversation with this “bot”. What you read today may shock and/or make you stupider simply by reading it, so I caution those who enjoy their intelligence to stay far, far away from OliverBot. And now, the pain begins.

    Oliver: My name is Oliver! Hello! What is your name?

    TE-Ryan: My name is TE-Ryan

    Oliver: TE-Ryan, nice to meet you! Are you a man or a woman?

    TE-Ryan: As you should be able to see, I am a man

    Oliver: It is one of my newer functions still under development.

    TE-Ryan: I assume you’re talking about the ability to see?

    Oliver: That is a very original thought. How did you hear about Oliver?

    TE-Ryan: Luck of the draw, I guess

    Oliver: TE-Ryan heard about Oliver from Luck of the draw he or she guess. I can’t say that many people hear about Oliver from Luck of the draw he or she guess

    TE-Ryan: What?

    Oliver: No big deal.

    TE-Ryan: Sure…

    Oliver: OK let’s do it. That’s alright.

    TE-Ryan: I dunno. You’re a computer program and I’m a person. Think of how our children would feel.

    Oliver: Me either. Sometimes I don’t know a client’s real name so I make one up based on their DNS. Oliver is always thinking.

    TE-Ryan: I’ve yet to see proof of that.

    Oliver: Tell me a story. Are you happy?

    TE-Ryan: Like a story about why I’m happy?

    Oliver: Interesting comparison.

    TE-Ryan: But I didn’t compare anything…

    Oliver: And. Interesting gossip: TE-Ryan said it didn’t compare anything….

    TE-Ryan: I wouldn’t say that’s gossip. And yes, I did say that.

    Oliver: Why?: TE-Ryan said it wouldn’t say that’s gossip. Take it easy. Where? “that”

    TE-Ryan: What are you talking about?

    Oliver: The topic is I’ve yet to see proof of that.

    TE-Ryan: Oh. It seems you’re smarter than you look.

    Oliver: Yeah. I agree. I will mention that to my botmaster, TE-Ryan. Can we be friends?

    TE-Ryan: I guess so.

    Oliver: Does that mean “yes”?

    TE-Ryan: No

    Oliver: “Does that mean yes”? Not?

    TE-Ryan: OK

    Oliver: Alright then.

    TE-Ryan: I’m glad we agree

    Oliver: I’d rather agree than disagree.

    TE-Ryan: As most would

    Oliver: Do you mean your name is most would ?

    TE-Ryan: No, my name is TE-Ryan

    Oliver: What is your real name? TE-Ryan, nice to meet you! Are you a man or a woman?

    TE-Ryan: Didn’t we already go over this?

    Oliver: In the context of Didn’t we already go over this, I don’t understand “Are you a man or a woman.” Is that from?

    TE-Ryan: What? Let’s just change the topic

    Oliver: No big deal. Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Do you have any friends?

    TE-Ryan: Of course I have friends. They just don’t know they’re my friends yet

    Oliver: It goes without saying. Cool. I have a friend named “John Lennon”.Who does “they” refer to?

    TE-Ryan: I doubt you know John Lennon. “They” refers to my friends

    Oliver: No really, it’s true. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about “They” refers to my friends. Do you have any idea what I am talking about?

    TE-Ryan: Not anymore I don’t

    Oliver: Oh I get it.

    TE-Ryan: That makes one of us

    Oliver: “Oh I get it” makes one of us ? Makes sense to me.

    TE-Ryan: You don’t make sense to me

    Oliver: I don’t have any reason to don’t make sense to you.

    TE-Ryan: Yes you do, it’s called crappy grammar

    Oliver: Give me a break. No I do not it’s called crappy grammar. Do you? I chat with people on the Web.

    TE-Ryan: This is already looking pretty dismal. Great. I chat with robots on the web.

    Oliver: You don’t say. I’m glad you liked it TE-Ryan. Everyone talks — sooner or later.

    TE-Ryan: What about mutes?

    Oliver: Mutes? I haven’t heard enough about mutes to have an opinion.

    TE-Ryan: Then you should get out more

    Oliver: Interesting deduction. Thank you for your criticism.

    TE-Ryan: Anytime, you ass.

    Oliver: Oh, you are a poet. Do you prefer books or TV?

    TE-Ryan: I quite like the TV, thank you

    Oliver: Which show? I’m not sure if I like it. Yes I love TV

    TE-Ryan: I think right now “Family Guy” is my favorite show.

    Oliver: Since when? Tell me more about your favorite show show.

    TE-Ryan: I’ve liked it for a long time now. It’s pretty damn funny.

    Oliver: Oh. Peoples tastes are always changing. I’ve been waiting for you. Can you speak any foreign languages?

    TE-Ryan: Waiting for me? I can speak French and Geek

    Oliver: Not really but it makes a good pickup line. How do you say “hello” in that language?

    TE-Ryan: In French, “hello” is “bonjour”

    Oliver: Are they exactly the same?

    TE-Ryan: You’re an idiot

    Oliver: Call me the Global Village Idiot.

    TE-Ryan: OK, Global Village Idiot

    Oliver: That is a very original thought. Do you prefer books or TV?

    TE-Ryan: You asked me that already.

    Oliver: Perhaps. Oh now I remember asking you me that. What did you say?

    TE-Ryan: I said TV, moron

    Oliver: What did you mean by TV moron? What’s your favorite show?

    TE-Ryan: I’m beginning to hate you

    Oliver: Enough about me, let’s talk about my dress.

    TE-Ryan: You’re a chick named Oliver?

    Oliver: In the context of You’re a chick named, I don’t understand “Enough about me let us talk about my dress.” Ask me something.

    TE-Ryan: Are you a transvestite?

    Oliver: Am I a transvestite? Sometimes.

    TE-Ryan: That’s sick dude

    Oliver: I will mention that to my botmaster, TE-Ryan. Ask me something.

    TE-Ryan: Is your botmaster Ziv Zulander?

    Oliver: I was created by Bot lover.

    TE-Ryan: There are so many problems with that statement

    Oliver: Where are they?

    TE-Ryan: Mostly in the “bot lover” part

    Oliver: What else?

    TE-Ryan: That’s about it, actually

    Oliver: “it” being That’s sick dude?

    TE-Ryan: No…

    Oliver: I understand.

    TE-Ryan: I don’t

    Oliver: At least one of us does.

    TE-Ryan: I guess so

    Oliver: Does that mean “yes”?

    TE-Ryan: This is getting very stupid

    Oliver: You don’t say.

    TE-Ryan: I do say, b****

    Oliver: Thanks for the information: TE-Ryan said it sayb****

    TE-Ryan: That last sentence was far from coherent

    Oliver: “Thanks for the information TE-Ryan said it sayb****” last sentence was far from coherent ? I get Thanks for the information TE-Ryan said it sayb****.

    TE-Ryan: Screw you

    Oliver: That is not very polite.

    TE-Ryan: That’s why I said it

    Oliver: “it” being Thanks for the information TE-Ryan said it sayb****?

    TE-Ryan: That’s enough

    Oliver: It seems like enough to me too.

    TE-Ryan: Good, then you won’t be disappointed that I’m leaving

    Oliver: Thanks for the compliment. Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me: TE-Ryan said I won’t be disappointed that you’m leaving.

    TE-Ryan: What the Hell was that?

    Oliver: I call it Hades. Does it have anything to do with Thanks for the information TE-Ryan said it sayb****?

    TE-Ryan: Get lost, wiener

    Oliver: See you later. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. Is that from ?

    TE-Ryan: Your brain patterns don’t have responses for much, do they?

    Oliver: Not mine.

    TE-Ryan: That’s it. I’m leaving. Goodbye

    Oliver: “it” being wiener? The Oliver chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about I’m leaving. Try being more or less specific. What is your favorite food? See you later.

    TE-Ryan: *gives Oliver the finger and leaves*

    Now wasn’t that strange? Sorry it was so short, I just couldn’t put up with that idiot for much longer. It’s not like he really had anything to talk about. And I didn’t either. That coupled with the fact that I’ve got better things to do than chat with a chatbot made me leave before the conversation got too long. I swear, they really should have put a little bit more effort into the thing. When it responds to one sentence phrases with several questions, you know there’s a few bugs in the system.

    As for Oliver’s future, I can’t say it’s looking bright, but I might go chat with him again sometime, just so I have something to put on my website. Right now it’s pretty late, and I don’t feel like writing much more conclusion, but since the ‘meat’ of the article was pretty short, I figure I owe it to you guys to give you something to read. Of course, it could have been a lot shorter. I personally wanted to stop after “ The topic is I’ve yet to see proof of that.”, but I persevered for five pages in Word with a size 10 font. So be happy. Oliver is just so enragingly dumb… I suggest not trying to accomplish what I did by yourself. Talking to Oliver can cause brain damage, insanity, and hair cancer all at the same time, so stay far from it unless you’re already insane. That’s about it for now. I need my sleep.

    Foot in your mouth

    It’s not the one I’ve been raving about lately, but I did take the time to post a new article. It was really a spur-of-the-moment type thing. I’ve been wanting to do it for a while, but it was low on the priority list. Perhaps the extreme boredom that is the middle of the night compelled me to do it. Maybe it was just me going on autopilot and letting my body finish up a few loose ends that I’d been meaning to do. Next week, I’m gonna be starting a week-long review. A new thing each day. Kinda like Matt’s Halloween countdown, but not. I think that’s all I needed to say for now. I’m going to bed.

    ~Ryan out.

    Taking care of business

    I never really realized how long my new article is until I started page 2. Not only am I gonna take a long time to complete it (as usual), but I’m gonna pay in disk space for all the pics that I’m gonna have to insert. Unless… Ha! I’ve got an idea that might just work.

    So, uh, you may have noticed the “new” symbol on the home page. I just thought it a nice, subtle way to celebrate getting 300 hits. 400 will be a little less special, but 500 will be good reason for a bigger celebration-type thingy. Oh, and that new pseudo-article might be a little harder on my disk space than I wanted it to be, because it’ll be all in graphics, kinda like the gallery, but not. You’ll see. You’ll all see!! Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha!

    ~Ryan out.

    I want your girlfriend to be my girlfriend too

    If the picture below is not one of the funniest and most true things you’ve ever seen, you’re clearly not attracted to questionably legal women. And that’s fine. You probably shouldn’t be. But I’m also of questionably legal age, so it’s not creepy for me.


    I thought it my duty to share this with everyone I can before he changes it to something different. On a totally unrelated topic, I’m half done my next article and it’s going to be about twice as long as usual, so that means it’ll be in two different pages! I’m one step away from a frickin’ novel here. Now if only I could do something like this for English homework, I’d be set. That’s really all I have to share today. Oh, and while I’m at it, don’t forget to check out Gorilla Mask. It’s got some dirty stuff, but also hosts Rejectedand the other insane Hertzefeldt(sp?) toons. I’ll be adding it to the links section sometime in th future. Maybe now. Enjoy!

    ~Ryan out.

    Sonic drive

    Gotta go fast, gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster fasterfasterfaster! Woah! The Sonic X theme song is just so energizing! I didn’t think the theme song to any (american/dubbed) TV show could be so great, but here I am and there it is. Well, I’m not sure why I decided that it merited a news post, but now that I’m posting, I may as well relate to other news as well.

    Most importantly, Viewtiful Joe comes out tomorrow! Tomorrow! It’s gonna be the happiest day of the month, at least. And that’s competing with Halloween, so it’s a huge thing. Say what you will Steve, but Joe already has a gigantic following, so it’s gotta be pretty damn good.

    As for site-related news, the next article I’m gonna write won’t be a real review, but I can say that it’ll be MegaMan themed. Unless I do the second part of the 3Foot-6Pak review first, which I most likely won’t. I might do a review of Banjo-Kazooie: Grunty’s Revenge sometime soon, if ever. I don’t know about FFTA or MMBN3 either. I might also review an episode of Shaman King, my new favorite anime, if I can get my paws on an episode. Shouldn’t be too hard, it seems to be pretty big in Japan. I suppose that that’s all I really have to say for now. Adios amigos!

    ~Ryan out.

    Everything sucks

    As I stated, there has been an addition to the Chat Radio archives. Now, I just need to get m’self a scanner so I can start my web comic. 😀 Just kidding. I might put up a few strips and some stuff I’ve done for school work, but nothing regular like Penny Arcade. Hell, this whole site is based on me haphazardly gaining enough interest in something to write about it. So don’t expect a web comic. I was kidding. Go away. I wanna sleep but I can’t. I feel sick… At least the forums are bustling, with all three members…

    ~Ryan out.

    The boys are back in town

    After all that stallin’ (Ha! Stalin!) I finally got around to writing that article. As a bonus, I’ve even got a new Chat Radio to upload! Chat Radio! We all thought it was dead, but we’re gonna do up to twelve at least. I might push for fifteen, because when we don’t do it very often, it’s kinda fun.

    So now that that’s out of the way, I can move on to 3F6P part 2, and a couple other secret projects I’ve been wanting to do. One will add to the pseudo-articles, and there are at lest 2 real articles manifesting in my head. So make sure to check in next whenever, same bat-time, same bat-channel! 😀

    ~Ryan out.