![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.torrentialequilibrium.net\/images\/fortune.JPG\")
<\/p>\n(I know the story is a few days late, but whatever.) Every damn New Year’s Eve, we have people over and order Chinese food. Me – not a big fan of the oriental stuff. Yeah, I can’t get enough of the vegetables, and I don’t mind the rice or chicken balls, but that’s besides the point. This year, it was far too snowy to have company over, but still we ordered the Chinese food. I begged and begged for a change to say, pizza, but my cries fell on deaf ears. Or they just ignored me. Either way, it got down to the fortune cookies, and well…<\/p>\n
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If by “fortunate” they mean “slapped with a restraining order”, then by all means, it was quite true. Naw, just kidding. But seriously, that’s the most hilarious fortune I’ve ever gotten. So full of innuendo. Speaking of which, here’s a link<\/a> to a clip from a children’s TV show of days gone by. The full script is there too, but I suggest the video. It’s one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. I don’t think I really have anything else to post about today, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to pull out my twanger and play with my balls.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (I know the story is a few days late, but whatever.) Every damn New Year’s Eve, we have people over and order Chinese food. Me – not a big fan of the oriental stuff. Yeah, I can’t get enough of the vegetables, and I don’t mind the rice or chicken balls, but that’s besides the … Continue reading Somewhat unfortunate<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-990","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-holidays","category-irl"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/990","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=990"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/990\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":991,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/990\/revisions\/991"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=990"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=990"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=990"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}