{"id":7784,"date":"2018-10-09T08:00:04","date_gmt":"2018-10-09T13:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/?p=7784"},"modified":"2018-10-07T12:16:35","modified_gmt":"2018-10-07T17:16:35","slug":"talking-nuts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/?p=7784","title":{"rendered":"Talking Nuts"},"content":{"rendered":"

In my never-ending quest to be less of a gross tub of a man, I\u2019ve mostly stopped buying snack foods. And when I do, it\u2019s usually just like nuts or fruit or whatever. I was never super into nuts, but I\u2019m coming around on some different kinds. So today, a series of short blurbs on how I feel about the more popular varieties of nuts, in no particular order.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pistachios :\u00a0<\/span>Honestly never tried them until recently. I\u2019d eaten pistachio ice cream and didn\u2019t dig it, so stayed away from the nuts. But I gave them a shot and I actually quite like them! Now I eat some of these nearly every weekday, as I keep a bag on my desk at work for afternoon snacking.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cashews :\u00a0<\/span>The candy of the nut world. Far and away my favourite nut, but also way too fatty and also expensive. I\u2019m already buying those pistachios, a second bag of expensive nuts is just not in the budget. Who do you think I am, some sort of rich person?<\/span><\/p>\n

Almonds :\u00a0<\/span>Hrrmmmm\u2026. No, I don\u2019t especially like almonds, but I\u2019ll put up with them. Like, I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever eaten an almond all on its own, but they\u2019re in and on so many other things. Like Toblerone. I eat the s**t out of Toblerones. Well, I always get a massive Toblerone for Christmas, and that\u2019s really the only time I eat Toblerone, but MAN do I ever enjoy it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Peanuts :\u00a0Peanuts are not a nut, they\u2019re a legume. I learned this and many other great science facts from Danny Sexbang\u2019s romance novel, <\/span>Claudia Goes to Schlongtown – Part 6: The Erectening<\/span><\/i>. But if I am eating peanuts, I prefer they be mashed into a paste and spread on toast.<\/span><\/p>\n

Walnuts :\u00a0<\/span>These are my go-to snack at home. There\u2019s always a bag on my dining table. I really should put it away in the cupboard. I\u2019m not a big fan of walnuts, though. They\u2019re a little too bitter for my tastes, but I\u2019m becoming accustomed to them, as I continue to force them down my gullet.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hazelnuts :\u00a0<\/span>Hazelnuts are the worst. I cannot understand why functional human beings put these awful things in so many other, better, food things. Disgusting trash. Nutella should be a crime.<\/span><\/p>\n

Macadamias :\u00a0<\/span>It\u2019s entirely possible that I\u2019ve never eaten a macadamia nut. Do they sell them? Are you supposed to eat them au natural? I always ignore the macadamia nut cookies at Subway because why wouldn\u2019t you choose literally any other cookie there? M&M\u2019s, man!<\/span><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s the end of that, because that\u2019s all the different kinds of nuts I know!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In my never-ending quest to be less of a gross tub of a man, I\u2019ve mostly stopped buying snack foods. And when I do, it\u2019s usually just like nuts or fruit or whatever. I was never super into nuts, but I\u2019m coming around on some different kinds. So today, a series of short blurbs on … Continue reading Talking Nuts<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7784","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-foodstuffs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7784","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7784"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7784\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7785,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7784\/revisions\/7785"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7784"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7784"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7784"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}