{"id":4223,"date":"2014-04-03T08:00:29","date_gmt":"2014-04-03T13:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/?p=4223"},"modified":"2014-04-10T13:10:11","modified_gmt":"2014-04-10T18:10:11","slug":"dark-souls-dr-fangs-and-the-electric-mayhem-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/?p=4223","title":{"rendered":"Dark Souls: Dr. Fangs and the Electric Mayhem"},"content":{"rendered":"

Previously on Dark Souls<\/strong>: Morgan ran the heck away from a vomity undead dragon, and stumbled onto a shortcut back to Firelink Shrine.<\/em><\/p>\n

After resting a while in Firelink Shrine, I took the elevator back up to the Undead Parish. Not sntirely sure where to start looking, I walked out onto the nearby terrace and killed the zombies that were hanging out there. It was then that I noticed that off, across the forest was a huge fortress. That seemed like the knid of place that I should be checking out.<\/p>\n

I stopped by Andre’s place to upgrade and repair my equipment, and then rested at the bonfire just above his hangout. From that bonfire, I could see out across a pathway to the entrance of Sen’s Fortress. I crossed the breidge hurriedly, but my excitement at exploring a new area was cut short by a couple of giant snake-headed\u00a0sentries that came out of the shadows and hacked me to bits. You Died<\/span>.<\/p>\n

Running back across the bridge, knowing what was in store for me, I approaced the fortress entrance much more slowly. One of the snake-men approached me, and I inched forward to engage him in battle. Then he inexplicably fell dead. I wasn’t sure what happened, but I’m not too proud to take a freebie. I took on the second snake-man, who turned out to be just as proficient in fair combat as he was at surprise attacks. You Died<\/span>.<\/p>\n

A third attempt at Sen’s wasn’t any more fruitful. Though I did discover why that one snake-man spontaneously died: it turns out that there’s a pressure panel right in the entranceway of the fortress. Stepping on this panel will cause a trio of\u00a0darts to shoot out of the wall at the hapless idiot who steps on that panel. Unfortunately, there was no snake-man between me and the darts this time. You Died<\/span>.<\/p>\n

Snake-men are pretty tough if you fight two of them at once. You Died<\/span>.<\/p>\n

Not even kidding. You Died<\/span>.<\/p>\n

This is getting a little pathetic. You Died<\/span>.<\/p>\n

Eventually, I was able to overcome the snake-men and proceed a little further into Sen’s Fortress. Which really is much worse than that first room. The next room is basically a giant pit with a narrow walkway stretched across the middle. Above the walkway are at least half a dozen swinging bladed pendulums. Halfway across is another snake-man, and somewhere up above is a thing that rains down lightning bolts on your head. It’s pretty great. You Died<\/span>.<\/p>\n

Sen’s Fortress is pretty much that over and over and over again. Dart traps, swinging blades, snake-men, snake-women that shoot lightning bolts.\u00a0The lightning snake-women really were the worst, as they always seemed to find good sniping spots. I’d just be casually strolling along and then get knocked over by a bolt of lightning out of nowhere. Fun! Oh and also there’s a mechanism that rolls boulders throughout the corridors and stairways, which somehow always knows where you are and adjusts the boulders’ trajectories accordingly. Just assume that I saw the words You Died<\/span> at least a dozen more times before I finally made it to the roof and found another bonfire.<\/p>\n

One “hilarious” feature of the fortress is tucked away in a room that an explorere might miss if they aren’t thorough. In this room is a treasure chest. Only unlike any other treasure chests that I’d encountered previously, this one sprang to life<\/em>. As I tried to open it, the chest opened itself and lunged at me, revealing a set of incredibl sharp teeth that were no doubt looking to feast on me. Then it grew arms and legs and started doing hurricane kicks at me<\/em>. My mind was frozen with fear, but fortunately my body’s self-preservation instinct kicked in and managed to slay the mimic.<\/p>\n

After that I just collapsed on the floor for a while and wept like a baby.<\/p>\n

The roof of the fortress was no more friendly than the interior. Firstly, there was a giant standing on the very top who hurled exploding barrels at me the whole time. There was another tower knight up there, too. Unlike the one I fought in the Undead Parish, this one was not a pushover. In fact, he was pretty darn good at his job! You Died<\/span>.<\/p>\n

That tower knight happened to be off on a corner that I didn’t actually have to pass by though, so I opted to just ignore him. Moving forward, I scaled the outer part of the fortress, and killed the giant who was throwing those damn firebombs at me. Off on a stairway rounding a separate tower, I\u00a0dueled and killed\u00a0an undead man named Ricard and stole his rapier. I wasn’t much for fencing though, so it wasn’t really a great prize for my troubles.<\/p>\n

Near the very top, I found a summoning sign, so I used it and\u00a0the phantom of a\u00a0knight known as Black Iron Tarkus came to my aid. Tarkus and I discovered a secret cage that acted as a shortcut between the top and the entrance of the fortress, and then we came to the fog wall. Afraid of what might be in charge of such a deadly fortress, I took a deep breath and stepped through the fog.<\/p>\n

Tune in next week for Part 19:\u00a0A Twisty Bridge Too Far<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan ran the heck away from a vomity undead dragon, and stumbled onto a shortcut back to Firelink Shrine. After resting a while in Firelink Shrine, I took the elevator back up to the Undead Parish. Not sntirely sure where to start looking, I walked out onto the nearby terrace and … Continue reading Dark Souls: Dr. Fangs and the Electric Mayhem<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dark-souls","category-video-games"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4223","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4223"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4223\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4225,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4223\/revisions\/4225"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4223"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4223"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4223"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}