Dear snow,<\/p>\n
Go away. I don’t like you and you obviously don’t like me. You make me leave for work early and\u00a0make it difficult to see where I’m driving. You turn\u00a0relaxing car rides\u00a0into slow, dangerous chores. And that’s not the worst of it! I can deal with the slow driving, but I hate that you like to make my clothes all wet. There are few thngs that annoy me more than wet clothes. I despise walking around with the ankles of my pants all wet, in turn making my socks wet. And when I open my car door and\u00a0you\u00a0fly all over my seat in an attempt to make my butt wet and uncomfortable? What a horrible thing to do to a person. You constantly get all over everything and then into<\/em> everything, creating wet\/frozen messes. It’s like nature tried to come up with something more annyoing than sand. And it succeeded with you, snow!<\/p>\n In closing, nobody likes you, snow.\u00a0You should just kill yourself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sincerely,<\/p>\n Funk Master R Valentine<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dear snow, Go away. I don’t like you and you obviously don’t like me. You make me leave for work early and\u00a0make it difficult to see where I’m driving. You turn\u00a0relaxing car rides\u00a0into slow, dangerous chores. And that’s not the worst of it! I can deal with the slow driving, but I hate that you … Continue reading An open letter to snow<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1385","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-irl"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1385","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1385"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1385\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1387,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1385\/revisions\/1387"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1385"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1385"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1385"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}