{"id":11068,"date":"2025-04-20T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-04-20T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/?p=11068"},"modified":"2025-04-21T15:08:54","modified_gmt":"2025-04-21T20:08:54","slug":"coffee-table-bloodbath","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/?p=11068","title":{"rendered":"Coffee Table Bloodbath"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>A few weeks ago, I watched a movie called <em>The Coffee Table<\/em>. It&#8217;s a 2022 Spanish-language film available on Shudder (and maybe elsewhere) that had randomly caught my attention and sat on my watch list for weeks before I finally pulled the trigger on it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This movie is about a couple who have recently had their first child, and they buy this gaudy-looking coffee table. The first 20-ish minutes are all build-up, then there is an incident wherein the baby receives a rather severe head-related injury from the coffee table. From that point, the movie is basically 100% building tension until it all comes to a head in the last five minutes. I don&#8217;t think I would ever recommend this movie, mostly because I don&#8217;t think that anyone I know would enjoy it, but I liked it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So I watched this movie, and the very next day, I kid you not, I get a text telling me that my one-year-old nephew bashed his head open on the edge of a coffee table. Tears and blood everywhere, an all-around horrifying situation. Though I make it sound worse than it was; the poor little guy had to get four (I think) stitches, and as I record this he&#8217;s still got a pretty wicked scar where an eyebrow used to be, but as far as I&#8217;m aware he&#8217;s doing just fine. Had a rough time in the moment, but was happy and smiling just a couple hours later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And that&#8217;s my latest story of an absolutely wild coincidence. I watched a movie called <em>The Demon Disorder<\/em> the following weekend and wondered to myself if I ought to send out a warning to keep my nephew away from anything that might possess him, but figured &#8220;eh, what are the chances of that?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just for the record, he was not possessed by anything the next day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed aligncenter is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"A Most Unfortunate Coincidence\" width=\"660\" height=\"371\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/yHPP0IAxV64?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A few weeks ago, I watched a movie called The Coffee Table. It&#8217;s a 2022 Spanish-language film available on Shudder (and maybe elsewhere) that had randomly caught my attention and sat on my watch list for weeks before I finally pulled the trigger on it. This movie is about a couple who have recently had &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/?p=11068\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Coffee Table Bloodbath<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11068","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-film","category-irl"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11068","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11068"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11068\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11088,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11068\/revisions\/11088"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11068"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11068"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torrentialequilibrium.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11068"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}