Ballistics?

New Resident Evil 4 Remake trailer!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now that we get to see some actual gameplay… it looks incredible! Looks like it’ll be my personal favourite kind of remake: one that very faithfully re-creates a game, but then makes a few changes and adds some new elements to keep it fresh for fans of the original. Just like RE2 Remake!

I can’t quite put my finger on why, but I really dig Ashley’s new 80-year-old-lady jacket/scarf combo. It’s so weird and out of place, but I’m absolutely here for it.

And hey, lots of castle footage! Salad Bar’s back, baby!

Oh, uh, right. And there’s a new gameplay trailer too…

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: September 2022

~ Game Over ~

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 (Switch) – It was a Xenoblade, alright! And an excellent one at that. I’m writing up some additional thoughts that may or may not ever get published, but the most important takeaway is that I enjoyed every one of the 100+ hours that I spent on it.

TMNT: Fall of the Foot Clan (GB) – A fairly simple platformer/punch-’em-up. Short, easy, and not especially special in any way.

TMNT: Back From the Sewers (GB) – Graphically, a huge step up from FotFC. On the other hand, it’s so brutally hard (on normal!) that I would have lost my mind without rewinds/save states.

TMNT: Radical Rescue (GB) – This one’s a mini-metroidvania, though a little more linear than that descriptor suggests. It’s not quite as unfair as BFtS, except for the bosses, who will absolutely make you pull your hair out.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: September 2022

Pokémon and Stuff

We are less than two months away from the release of Pokémon Scarlet and Pokémon Violet, and that means that I’ve basically just got Pokémon on the brain at all times. The Pokémon Company has been slowly releasing details about the games, and it’s looking real good! In particular, the new Paldean Pokémon that have been shown off so far are awesome pretty much across the board. Especially Klawf! A new crab! And it’s derpy as all heck!

That said, I came here today not to write directly about Pokémon, but rather a YouTube channel that specializes in Pokémon. I started watching Lockstin & Gnoggin earlier this year, and have since caught up on a lot of their back catalog. The main draw of this channel is the analysis of Pokémon designs and theorizing about their inspirations. Many Pokémon are a lot more complicated than you might think! There are also plenty of videos about lore, moves, types, so on and so forth. What really sells it for me is that these are almost all educational videos presented through a Pokémon lens, which makes them a lot more entertaining than some dude just dryly blah blah blahing about whatever topic.

That said: here’s the video they did on Klawf! Go learn about crabs!

The Numbers of Zelda

I played every main game in The Legend of Zelda series last year, and recorded those playthroughs for YouTube content. This is old news. But in the highly unlikely scenario where this is someone’s very first TE post, that sentence provides important context.

What’s news to everyone, though, is that I’ve kept all of those videos on my hard drive all this time because I wanted to look at some of the technical stats of that whole situation, and just haven’t gotten around to it. But I need to reclaim some of that hard drive space, so now is the time! Firstly, I want to look at how long each game took to play:

The Legend of Zelda3:48:31
The Adventure of Link5:53:09
A Link to the Past6:44:26
Link’s Awakening8:15:57
Oracle of Seasons9:08:20
The Minish Cap10:12:09
Four Swords Adventures10:32:22
Oracle of Ages10:34:34
Phantom Hourglass11:46:28
A Link Between Worlds12:42:18
Spirit Tracks13:16:06
Ocarina of Time13:33:15
Majora’s Mask14:03:44
The Wind Waker14:32:19
Twilight Princess19:32:00
Breath of the Wild24:10:32
Skyward Sword26:58:39
Continue reading The Numbers of Zelda

Nintendo Direct 9.13.2022

Yep, it’s that time again. Time to read my knee-jerk reactions to all the games that appear in Nintendo’s newest hype commercial. Let’s-a go!

Fire Emblem Engage – I like the trailer, and it looks amazing, but I just don’t really care about Fire Emblem that much. However, there’s only room for Square-Enix TRPGs in my life.

It Takes Two – Released on every other platform last year, it was a big hit, but I just can’t be bothered. It’s a co-op game, after all, and I have no co with whom to op.

Fatal Frame: Mask of the Lunar Eclipse: One day, I’ll get into the Fatal Frame series. I’ve always been very interested, but never made the time. Probably won’t happen in 2022, though. Fun Fact: My ex-wife who wasn’t really into video games had played more Fatal Frames than I have.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 DLC – A new Hero character, challenge battle mode, and… swimsuits… of course. Dammit, Japan. *smh*

Continue reading Nintendo Direct 9.13.2022

It’s Donatellos all the way down

This blog, as long-time readers know, is pretty much my never-ending quest to preserve the absolute dumbest thoughts that go through my brain. Today, we take a look at the box art of TMNT: The Cowabunga Collection in hopes of discovering the graphic designer’s favourite turtle.

Hey, I prefaced this with a disclaimer that it’s stupid. You were warned!

Continue reading It’s Donatellos all the way down

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: August 2022

~ Game Over ~

Monster Hunter Rise: Sunbreak (Switch) – Cleared all the story missions. While the Sunbreak expansion does seem a little bit light on content for the price, at least I know there are at least two more major (and free!) updates on the way. Moved onto grinding anomaly quests now, and I feel like that could honestly last a very long time if there weren’t so many other games to play.

Subnautica (PS5) – Still not a perfect experience, but significantly more stable than when I played the PS4 version last year. It didn’t crash even once this time!

Whisperwind (PC) – Indie spook-’em-up that is mostly walking, with some very basic puzzles. Got all four endings in well under an hour.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: August 2022

Back to 4546B

Last year, I spent a couple weeks playing Subnautica very obsessively. I played it and played it, and not only completed the game but got the platinum trophy. Despite the fact that it was one of the most broken, unpolished games I’ve ever played, I had such a good time with it that I included it on my Top 10 Video Games of 2021 list.

And yet, even after all that, I could not shake Subnautica from my mind. I don’t want to say that I’ve thought about it every day since then, but at least every week. And I’m not even exaggerating. But I refrained from starting a new game, because I felt that Subnautica’s greatest asset was the sense of discovery that it constantly fed to me throughout the, I don’t know, let’s say 50-ish hours that I spent with it. There’s no way I’d be able to recapture that same feeling again, now that I was exceptionally familiar with the game.

Continue reading Back to 4546B

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: July 2022

~ Game Over ~

New Super Mario World 2: Around the World (PC) – Completed to 100 percent, with many headaches along the way and some mild save-statery to smooth the especially rough parts. Generally speaking, a very good hack, though I cannot forgive the lack of the “beeooo-wip” sound effect when finishing a stage.

TMNT: Shredder’s Revenge (Switch) – Second playthrough as Casey.

Linelight (PC) – A simple puzzle game that provided me a good few hours of fun, and an hour of two of abject frustration. Frustration at how bad I am at solving simple puzzles. A YouTube series is on the way.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: July 2022

Tales From the Lands Between (Volume 1(?))

I don’t plan on writing extensively about my adventures in Elden Ring, like I did with (most of) my first Dark Souls playthrough. However, I may feel like it’s necessary to share a story here and there when something really interesting/funny happens in the game.

For example, something that happened while I playing last night:

There are lots of skeletons in Elden Ring. They’re a pretty common enemy, and I’ve fought an entire legion of them by this point. I didn’t think that they were going to be the enemy type that surprised me, but lo and behold, it happened!

Continue reading Tales From the Lands Between (Volume 1(?))