Mass Review Time – Fargo ’08

 

“>

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these mass review articles (usually they’re just blogged). More importantly, it’s been a while since I’ve done an article at all. Much to my own dismay, a cheap mass review is not way to worm my way back into the game, but it’s all I’ve really got the gumption to work on at the moment. It’s not that I don’t want to write articles anymore, it’s just that there are so many other things I want to do more. And even more things I need to be doing.

But I digress. Blabbing about why I’m no longer writing full-length pieces is not today’s topic! But rather I’m here to discuss money well spent? I decided to end that sentence with a question mark because at this point I still can’t gauge the actual quality of most of the products below. I just bought most of them through good word-of-mouth and personal tastes. In fact, I’m pretty sure that at least a couple would be considered complete garbage by the general population, but we’ll see!

So the bonus theme here is that I picked up all this stuff when my girlfriend and I went away to Fargo(, North Dakota) for the weekend. I did a little photo gallery with commentary of last year’s trip south of the border (see sidebar), so maybe you’ll prefer that one if you’re looking for an article with a little more meat on its bones. Also, certainty. This here article, as of this writing, is pretty much all assumptions. It’s built on the hopes and dreams of millions! …Or maybe just me.

• Item #1

Tesla – Five Man Acoustical Jam

Okay, I know said it was all assumptions from here on in, but I’m starting with something I know is awesome: Tesla. I’ve been listening to Tesla for many, many years now, and sadly, I’ve only ever been able to find one of their CDs in any local stores. Thus, I often take it upon myself to scour the multimedia-type shops south of the border for anything I can find by them. This time I got real lucky, finding the two Tesla discs I was really gunning for. Five Man Acoustical Jam is obviously enough, a recording of a live acoustic show. It’s one of very few Tesla albums that I haven’t downloaded, so jackpot!

In other news, it’s completely awesome. Tesla is a great band, and they made their name through their acoustic prowess, so the only logical conclusion is that this album must rule. And rule it does. Don’t know what else there is to say other than I love it. Score: A

• Item #2

Tesla – The Great Radio Controversy

I know it seems silly that I only bought two Tesla CDs while I was down there, and now that I really think about it, I probably am really silly for it. I mean, I probably could have completed the full discography, but I stopped looking after I picked up these two.

Unlike its lovably live cousin above, The Great Radio Controversy is a studio album, but that means little. The Tesla-loving community largely believes this to be their finest work, and I’m not one to argue. It’s everything that makes Tesla great (minus the “awesome live performers” bit), and while it may not rock quite as hard as Psychotic Supper, it rocks just as well or better. Two thumbs up. Score: A

• Item #3

Mega Man Star Force 2

Yeah, I know you’re groaning right now and about to skip this paragraph, but that’s quite alright. You put up with more than enough of my Mega Man nonsense that you deserve a break from it if you can find one here or there. So go ahead and move on to the next item if you’ve gotten sick of hearing me rave about Mega Man.

For those that care, Star Force is the dual-screened big brother to the MegaMan Battle Network games. It seems like it’ll be following the same “new chapter every summer” release schedule that Battle Network had. I played the first one almost to completion last summer (I didn’t beat the final optional boss), and I was surprised to see this one in stores because honestly, I had no idea it was out. so I picked it up, and I’ve got to say, it’s most certainly not as big a step up from the first as Battle Network 2 was to its predecessor. I mean, I’m enjoying the game, but it hasn’t offered anything that improves on the first game. Well, not enough to make it feel exciting and new anyway. Score: C+

• Item #4

Etrian Odyssey 2: Heroes of Lagaard

As soon as I’d finally stopped flip-flopping on whether I wanted the first Etrian Odyssey or not, it had long since become impossible to find at retail. I was afraid EO2 would see a similar fate (despite being a new release), but after searching each and every store that sells video games in Fargo, I gave up and checked GameStop. As much as I generally loathe the GameStop/EB chain, it has to be said that they do actually carry Atlus games, and as a fan of Atlus’ niche titles, that scores some decent points in my book.

Anyway, I haven’t actually had a chance to plug it in and start playing yet (probably because I’m awasting all sorts of time writing about shit I buy), but I’ve read more than enough on the subject to be more or less familiar with what I’m getting into. The Youngest One bought it too (before I had a chance to advise him otherwise), probably because he thought “Ooh, an RPG. I should buy it”, and promptly got his ass whupped and put it right down. I doubt he’ll be spending too much time on this one, but someday when I’m in the middle of fewer games, I’ll crack this one open and spend a little quality time with it.

Edit : Decided I’d just forego finishing some other games so I could sink my teeth into this one. I’m not regretting it. Etrian Odyssey II is even better than I’d imagined. This is a real horror game, because you’re always on the edge of your seat, wondering if you’ll be able to survive the next fight. Also, even the slightest progress feels like you’ve made a huge accomplishment, so yeah. props to that. Love it. Score: A

• Item #5

Day of the Dead

No, it’s not Romero’s classic with a new cover. It’s one of those horrid “re-imaginings”, or so I assume. At least on the back cover it said it’s inspired by Romero’s Day of the Dead, so we can hope it at least pays a little homage to the original. In any case, it’s a zombie movie, so it most definitely belongs in my collection.

I should let you know that I fully expect this to be completely awful. That’s how these movies are. The characters are stupid and unlikable, the plot makes little to no sense and there’s buckets and buckets of gore. Yeah it sounds like a disaster, but that’s exactly what I’m looking for. I enjoy a good zombie movie, but I love a zombie movie that makes you want to root for the zombies. It’s brainless (in a manner of speaking) fun, and that’s really what I want in movies. So despite the fact that it’s defacing a classic, I have high-ish hopes for this one.

Edit : Yeah. So I watched it, and it’s not so great. It has almost nothing in common with the original, though if you concentrate real hard you can find a couple loose parallels between the two. But yeah, it’s not even a fun gore-fest. Just low-grade zombie schlock. When Nick Cannon is the best part of a movie, you know that you’ve got a bit of a train wreck on your hands. I’m a little let down by this one, honestly. Score: D+

• Item #6

The Dead Pit

As I was perusing the horror section at Fargo’s Best Buy (why doesn’t our Best Buy sort movies by genre? It’s so much easier…), and I saw that Day of the Dead remake thing, and then right beside it, The Dead Pit caught my eye. The cover didn’t really get the idea of zombies across to me, but reading the synopsis on the back confirmed my suspicions: zombies!

Much to my delight, this is one of those 80’s zombie flicks that pretends to have a cohesive plot. By that of course, I mean it’s more than “OMG zombiez. Let’s try to survive!” Something about a mad scientist attacking a mental ward with a horde of zombies? I dunno and I’m too lazy to go check the case, but it sounded like a riot at the time. I honestly think this could be as unpredictably lovable as Hellraiser. Score: B (pending)

• Item #7

Chucky: The Killer DVD Collection

I’ll level with ya, I’ve only ever seen the first Child’s Play movie, and even then, I was still a little squeamish at the time and covered my eyes a lot. I did like the movie though, and I’ve always wanted to at least see the first two sequels. Bride of Chucky isn’t exactly a priority, and Seed of Chucky seems like they’re just taking it too far. Alas.

I’ve been putting off buying this collection for a while now because I knew that not having the first one would drive me bonkers (OCD, you see), but it actually hasn’t been grating on my nerves too much. It’s not like the movie isn’t on DVD or anything either, I just can’t find the damn thing anywhere. Oh well. I’m sure some day I’ll be in the right place at the right time, and it will be mine. Or I’ll have forgotten my wallet and smack myself in the forehead. Score: B+ (pending)

• Item #8

Bruce and Lloyd: Out of Control

I’ll say this now, because it’s the most important note here: I was promised a lot more Patrick Warburton than I got from this purchase, and it makes me ever so slightly disappointed. Other than that, good times!

If you haven’t seen Get Smart yet, you’re really missing out on something. I loved it so much, I ran out an bought this straight-to-DVD supplemental material without even reading a review first. Fortunately, it’s not nearly as awful as most straight-to-DVD stuff, but it’s still nowhere near as great as the main movie. Then again, I never expected it to be. I’m just confused as to why exactly Steve Carell couldn’t make at least a cameo. Anne Hathaway shows up in one scene, so why do we get no Steve Carell? Ah well. If Get Smart was at the “hilarious” level, I’d probably only rate this one as “silly” at best, but it’s still worth a look if you liked the source material. Score: B

Also, I should mention that I bought some other stuff, like shorts and foodstuffs, but I decided to cut them out because clothes are boring (do not tell my girlfriend I said that, she bought clothes almost exclusively) and junk food isn’t something that really needs to be logged into the annals of internet history. At least, not any of the food I bought. It was all pretty much run-of-the-mill junk food that a) isn’t available in Canada or b) is ridiculously expensive in Canada. So yeah. That’s the end then. Good night.

Who’ll be the lonely one

There have been a lot of little thoughts bouncing around inside my skull lately, and I’ll probably end up getting around to blogging about most of them sometime soon. So the blog will probably continue to be active for a while to come. But maybe not. You see, today was a very good day to have Wii Points, as two really awesome games have landed, and I may very well be absorbed in those for a while.

I’ve been waiting for it since the day I got my Wii, and finally finally StarFox 64 is available on the Virtual Console. It’s like the second best StarFox game ever (I like Command only slightly more), and goddamn I loves loves loves StarFox. Pretty much anyone who knows me can attest to that. The real challenge here will be tricking people into playing multiplayer with me. Though really, I’m not that great at StarFox where playing against me isn’t worth the trouble. Also the NES classic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles showed up as a complete surprise to me. I must have logged a hojillion hours into that game in my youth and never gotten past that one really hard jump in level three. I downloaded it mostly out of nostalgia but also because I’ve made a promise to myself to finally beat it. That may, of course, be easier said than done, because the game is really flippin’ hard. April’s continued support means nothing!

To make matters worse, Guitar Hero 2 for the 360 lands in two days, and while I may have been able to resist the call otherwise, I cannot just turn away from the chance to play “Rock And Roll Hoochie Koo”. Oh yeah, I guess I forgot to mention that me and the tall one bought an Xbox 360 last Monday. I’ve pretty much been playing Dead Rising, Gears of War and Hexic all week, but failed to even mention them even once. Oops. Making my bank account even less happy with me, Super Paper Mario is a requisite purchase for anyone with a Wii and common sense, and that happens on the 9th, or so my sticky note of important releases tells me. Thank God I still have a small wad of tax return money, or else there’s no way in Hell that even I could justify spending so much in such a small period of time. And I pretty much hate money, so that says a lot.

TE Top 10: Video Games of 2005

It’s that time of year again. The time when we look back and pick out our favourites of everything and anything that happened during the year. Most people do their “top whatever” lists in early December, but I like to hold off until the first week of January so as not to miss anything that might just squeak by. Oh, and my list is one of video games. Just in case.

There are a few rules that certainly have big effects on my list. First and foremost, I don’t include any re-releases, no matter how much of an update they’ve gotten. Also, it is comprised only of games I’ve played. It would be kind of ruin the integrity of the list if I just threw any old game on it. The little problem with this is that I didn’t play a whole lot of games this year. Sure, compared to some people, I may have played a lot, but there wasn’t a whole lot of variety. I probably only rented like five or six games total this year. But oh well. That’s what you get.

That’s pretty much the whole intro. What else is there really to say? I’m gonna be doing enough reflection in the bajillion words below, so I don’t really need any of that here. So yeah. Go.

~ #11 (honourable mention) ~

Trauma Center: Under The Knife

Let me start by explaining the honourable mention. See, I haven’t really played Trauma Center. I have played the demo version, which was in Japanese, but I haven’t played the whole game. And since I haven’t actually played the whole game, I can’t in good faith give it a real spot on the list. But rest assured that if had, it would totally be there. What I did play of Trauma Center was really cool, and somewhat challenging as well. The game has topped my “most wanted” list since long before it came out, but alas, I’ve yet to find it anywhere. The local Electronics Boutiques have both informed me that they won’t be getting any more, and if EB isn’t getting any more, nuts to all the other stores. The only hope I have left is… eBay? Maybe I’m gonna have to investigate the Microplay scene. If anyone ever sees it, there’s a very generous bounty to be claimed… *hint hint*

EDIT: By the time this was posted, I got the game. As expected, it r0x0rz my b0x0rz.

~ #10 ~

Lost in Blue

Lost is Blue is lucky. Lucky that I haven’t gotten my hands on a copy of Trauma Center. It’s also lucky that Metal Gear Solid 3 was just a little too complicated and silly for my tastes. Actually, there are a lot of games I considered for this position, but Lost in Blue is just so neat that I couldn’t deny it.

A sequel to the underappreciated Survival Kids for the Game Boy Colour, Lost in Blue is a sim of a different persuasion. The idea of the game is that you’re stranded on an island with a girl, and you have to survive and find a way off the island. Or just survive. You don’t have to escape if you don’t want to. There are plenty of thins to do on the island, like rummage for food, collect stuff, make that stuff into tools, build furniture, hunt animals, explore, and more. The island provides a ton of stuff to do, and it’s up to you when you want to do it and if you even want to do it at all. the only thing you have to do (if you don’t want to lose) is to keep yourself and the girl alive. Otherwise, it’s all up to you. You’re even provided with the chance to play through as the girl once you complete the game, which offers an entirely different way to play the game.

Such open-ended gameplay usually has one of two effects on people: it either sucks you in completely, or you get bored right away. The only big difference between this and similar games like The Sims or Animal Crossing is that in Lost in Blue you do actually have an objective, so there is something compelling you to move forward. Not to mention that there are like a jillion different endings, based on your actions and relationship with the opposite character. The only real complaint I have to lodge against the game is that animals only appear in one area, and it takes a lot to get up there. Plus, hunting is really hard/requires luck more than anything.

~ #9 ~

Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow

This is the game I’d been waiting for since the DS was released. Aria of Sorrow is my favourite GBA game, and things could only get better with a sequel, right? Right. While it seems kind of harsh to give Dawn of Sorrow 9th place, it’s not so bad on the grand scale. 9th best of all the games I’ve played this year? Not too bad at all.

Castelvania: Dawn of Sorrow is the continued adventure of Soma Cruz, a regular-type guy who just happened to inherit Dracula’s powers by some cruel twist of fate. In Aria of Sorrow, he had to escape Dracula’s castle and keep from being corrupted by his powers. This time around, he’s in pretty deep, as some crazy cult is out to get him and his powers. The story is of the least importance, however, as the game itself is a testament to what beauty can be created on the DS. The game plays out in two dimensions, but every now and then there’s a 3D background that will just blow you away. The touch screen itself is used rather sparsely, but the fact that there are two screens is the single best improvement in a Castelvania game ever. See, the top screen can be used as a map screen, and that in itself is one capital reason to champion the DS. In any game with a map, especially Castelvania, it’s always a hassle to stop to check the map every few steps/rooms, and Dawn of Sorrow eliminates this issue completely by having the map ready for you at all times.

Even without the pretty graphics and cool features, the gameplay itself is more than noteworthy. Like its predecessor, Dawn of Sorrow uses a system of powerups fueled by the souls of your enemies. Every monster in the game has a soul which you can extract and use to your advantage. Some are simple abilities, like gaining throwing knives or summoning familiars, but others so some really cool stuff like letting you do a super jump or regenerating life. The game is pretty balanced, giving you a challenge while never being overly frustrating. Some bosses might drive you nuts, but a couple level-ups or the right soul combination could remedy the problem easily. There are a few different endings, a lackluster “enemy set” mode that you can challenge your friends to, and a handful of unlockables. Those unlockables include a sound test, a boss rush mode, hard mode, and a special mode that’s almost an entirely different game.

~ #8 ~

The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction

While I’d love to go on and on about this one, it seems I already have. I’d give you a link straight to it, but I’m feeling far too lazy at the moment to figure out the URL and all that shit you need to go through to make a link. So I’ll just type some stuff about the game instead.

Ultimate Destruction is more or less my dream free-roaming game. Of course, my overall dream game would contain many elements of UD, but it would be entirely different, and most likely 2D. Anyway, why do I love this game so much? For one, it’s all about destroying shit. There’s no stealth, no items, no rules. Just pure, unadulterated smashing. The game is basically split up into three categories (all rolled into one, but you won’t be doing one at the same time as another): free-roaming, missions, and sub-missions. The free-roaming is pretty obvious. You traipse around town as the Hulk, breaking whatever you see fit, jumping erratically, and basically just having a great time. The world is your oyster, and you may smash it as you please. Sadly, most of the buildings in the game are indestructible, but it’s still plenty of fun to destroy what can be destroyed. Heck, even my dad was impressed my this game, and the only interaction he has with any video game besides Pitfall is making fun of them.

The missions are pretty straight-forward as well. You’re usually either out to catch or destroy something, sometimes both. Pretty much any mission that strays from that formula has you high-tailing a piece of technology back to your church base. While these missions may not be geared toward destruction, they’re usually rather tricky, and that can provide much fun and frustration. Sub-missions are usually normal things like “race to here so fast” or “save pedestrians from the burning building”. Some however, are completely off-the-wall and have you batting soldiers falling from a helicopter or playing golf with an oil pump and a huge ball of steel. You’re ranked on the sub-missions, and getting gold on the better part of them is really friggin’ hard.

I think the thing that really ties the game together and takes it from good to great, is the freedom is gives you. You’ve all played on iteration of GTA or another, and I can’t help but feel that all of these games feel stuffy and that the controls don’t really flow. Hulk, however, has a very natural feel to it, and once you get down the controls, it’s a very nice feeling you get when you realize you didn’t even have to thing about that insanely complex string of jumps or beatdowns you just launched. It has the same feeling of freedom that Super Mario 64 had, where you feel almost completely unrestrained, allowed to do whatever you please. That’s precisely the reason why Super Mario 64 is my favourite game of all-time, and that’s why I treasure Hulk: Ultimate Destruction as much as I do.

~ #7 ~

Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time

I made fun of Metal Gear Solid 3 a few paragraphs back for being silly, so why on earth does Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time rank so highly on my list? Simple: Mario & Luigi is based around silliness. The first game, Superstar Saga, set a good rhythm of intuitive gameplay and hilarious dialogue, and Partners in Time is in perfect step with it’s older brother.

The best part of the Mario & Luigi series thus far is the story aspect. And I’m not just talking about plot here. The dialogue is written with more than a pinch of humour, the characters are all extremely lively and often outrageous, and yeah, even the plot is pretty good. While in most RPGs, you’ll spend a lot of time fooling around and making sure you don’t miss anything, in Partners in Time you’ll be heading pretty much straightforward the whole time. Yes, you might go back to play some mini-games over or level a bit (it’s not that necessary), but most of the time you’ll just be moving forward. While it’s somewhat due to the fact that you’ll always want to see what’s going to happen next, I have to admit that the game is pretty linear. There are no sidequests to speak of, which is sad, and no bonuses after you beat the final boss, but chances are that you’ll be having so much fun you won’t miss those things.

The gameplay itself is unique to the series (and in a way, to the entire line of Mario RPGs), in that battles take both real-time and turn-based elements. In this game, you have play not only as Mario and Luigi, but the baby-sized bros as well. This situation has you playing as four characters at once, with each bro assigned to his own face button. Luckily, the only time you have to use all four buttons in tandem in four-bro battles, and this can lead to some hairy situations if you haven’t memorized your buttons. A lot of the time, the pairs will split up and do their own thing, and then you only have to look after two bros at once. Action commands liven up the battles, helping you max out your damage potential and avoid enemy attacks entirely, sometimes ever scoring a counterattack. While the action commands in the Paper Mario games would only serve to ease battles a little bit, in the Mario & Luigi games, if you’re really good, you could probably finish the game without getting hit once.

All in all, the game is as good or slightly better than the first. While the battling can sometimes get overly complex, it’s always fun and keeps you interested and involved, unlike traditional RPGS. If you want some more details, go check out the (very) short review in the 2005 Christmas article.

~ #6 ~

We <3 Katamari

What? What’s not fun about rolling a ball? Balls are like the first things we play with as babies, and even as we grow up, they still play a big roll (punny!) in our lives (at least for those of us who aren’t afraid of sports). So why not make a game that’s key feature is that you get to roll around a ball? Namco took up the challenge, and after the super-niche hit Katamari Damacy took the world by storm, what else could they do but appease the fans and roll out the Katamari for another go?

Katamari Damacy was the main reason I purchased my PS2. Yeah. That’s right, I got it mostly for a single game. A game I hadn’t even played at the time. Call me what you will, but it was money well spent. For hours I rolled around that katamari, and never yearned for more. The game didn’t offer a ton of gameplay outside rolling up as much crap as you could, but it was good enough. Like how people could play Space Invaders or Pac-Man obsessively. But Namco decided that we were worth it, and they put their best minds to the test and released We <3 Katamari sometime in mid-2005. What I got, I never would have expected. The game had been expanded with so many new stages, challenges, features, objects, and playable characters. They even managed to build in a cooperative mode that puts two people at the reins of a single Katamari.

The object of the game is to appeal to the fans of the King of All Cosmos, and roll around your Katamari. No big difference, right? Well this time, it’s not just a challenge to get your Katamari as big as you can within a time limit. No, there are stages that have you collect so many objects, roll a Katamari as fast as you can, keep a fire burning, and even one stage where you have to build a snowman. The wealth of new challenges is very pleasing, and it only gets better. In the first game, you could roll up presents for your character to wear, and cousins to be used in Battle mode. This time, there are a ton more of each, and the various characters can be used in single player as well (though they make no more than an aesthetic difference). Even the “select meadow”, the game’s hub of sorts, is fun to play around in. The only part that drags the game down is that Namco didn’t include any “eternal” stages, so you’re always working on a time limit. While I do miss them, it’s safe to say the game is of no lesser value because they’re gone.

What else do I need to say to get you to play this game? Do I need to tell you that it’ll fellate you as you play? Because I’m ready to tell you whatever you need to hear. If there’s one game you need to play on this list, it’s We <3 Katamari. The quirky graphics, abundant humour, and stellar yet simple gameplay are more than a match for you, so I want you to give this one a shot. I can’t guarantee you’ll love it like I do, but the odds of having fun are stacked heavily in your favour.

~ #5 ~

MegaMan Zero 4

I’m probably going to include the newest MegaMan Zero game somewhere on every future list like this, as long as they keep up the excellent trend. While MegaMan games usually peak in goodness around the second or third game, the Zero series gets better every time. And in leaps and bounds to boot.

MegaMan Zero had the core gamplay down. It was full of action, and was one of the few games of its day that could give you a real headache. Zero 2 didn’t add many features, but lengthened the game and pumped up the difficulty to near-impossible. Zero 3, which earned a spot on last year’s list, toned down the difficulty to a “gifted-human” level, added a handful of new features and tweaked some old ones to make them more user-friendly. The latest game, aptly titled MegaMan Zero 4, is again tweaking and adding whatever it can. Most notably, the tedium of earning and arranging Cyber-Elves is gone. You now have a single elf which you can level up and customize to give you whatever boost you might need. This game’s new weapon, the Z-Knuckle, lets you rip enemies apart and take their weapons for yourself. Some are offensive, some are devensive. Some have ammo limits, some you can blast away with forever. Some are guns, some fit in more with the club family. All in all, the Z-Knuckle provides you with a huge assortment of options and makes for a great addition to Zero’s personal weapons cache.

The upgrade chip system from the previous game returns, although this time you have to make the chips, not find them. You make these chips by picking of parts from defeated enemies and mashing them together. The only flaw here is that the game provides very few chip recipes, so you’ll have to figure out most of them by trial and error or a trip to GameFAQs. Another new feature is the weather changing system. Each stage can be affected by two types of weather, one is a little rougher and gives the boss an advantage, and the other will likely make your jaunt through the stage a lot easier. Obviously, you’ll need to play with the harder weather to get a good rank, but it also serves as the only way to procure the boss’ EX Skills, which is a lot easier than keeping up an A or S rank. Zero 4 also has its own share of unlockable mini-games, and the requirements for most of them are not nearly as obscenely difficult as those in Zero 3.

Overall, it’s a very satisfying game. There hasn’t been such a well-balanced MegaMan game since MegaMan X, and that one didn’t even have all the cool features that Zero 4 boasts. The downside is that… Hmmm… SPOILERS! (Sort of.) Highlight the text to read! The downside is that the ending really wraps everything up. And I mean really wraps everything up. Most of the events that play out near the end and during the final scenes point towards this being the last of the series, and that’s not cool. Though Capcom has pulled many stuns like this in the past (especially with MegaMan), so I doubt things are as grave as they want you to think.

~ #4 ~

The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap

Honestly, I’m gonna come out and say it: This is the best Zelda game since A Link to the Past. It’s not that I didn’t like the games in between, but Ocarina of Time is way overhyped, and Majora’s Mask and The Wind Waker were still missing something. Link’s Awakening was my favourite Zelda game before this (though I think LttP is a better game on the whole. Professional and personal preference are two very different things), I never really got to play the Oracle games, and Four Swords is really in a category of its own. And even if you don’t agree that it’s the best Zelda game, it’s got no competition when you’re asking about the best GBA game ever.

Some people are complaining about the declining number of dungeons in Zelda games. But really, that number was never set in stone. The first game has nine, Link’s Adventure has six, LttP has at least 12, and Link’s Awakening has eight. There are about 11 in OoT, five or six in MM, and the Wind Waker is kind of ambiguous, because some things seem like dungeons, but half the population says no and half says yes. The Minish Cap tops in with five official dungeons, but that’s not really a big deal. The game in itself is huge, with a fully fleshed-out Hyrule to explore, as well as the many little bits that make up the Minish World. There are tons and tons of caves, grottoes, attics, and temples to explore, as well as a smaller world in the sky. The game itself is full of life, overflowing with personality and Zelda charm. Hyrule town is easily the liveliest and most colourful Zelda town ever, and there are characters spread out to even the furthest reaches of the land.

The graphics are a huge part of the game, as they’re unbelievably rich and detailed. Everywhere you go, you’ll be treated to beautiful scenery and extensively animated characters and enemies. The soundtrack is also worthy of note, being of uber-high quality and composed of new tunes and classic themes alike. I swear, this is the first Zelda game since the first to properly utilize the Legend of Zelda theme. The big cave in the graveyard also has a magnificent theme, though to tell the truth, I can’t remember what theme it is. Voices are strewn about pretty liberally, but never manage to get annoying. The difficulty of the game is maybe a bit lacking (it’s no Zelda 2), but it’s certainly not an easy quest to complete.

I’d love to ramble on some more about the Minish Cap, but I already did it once. Go back and check the January 2005 archive page. It’s got an even more long-winded spiel than I’ve put out here, so the inquisitive should definitely check that out. No bones about it, if you have a GBA/DS and you don’t own this game, you’re seriously depriving yourself.

~ #3 ~

Mario Kart DS

Mario Kart has always been the kart racing game that all the other kart racing games want to be. It’s easy to see why, too. Mario Kart has always had the two essential ingredients for a great game: fun and simplicity. Racing sims are way too hard for those of us who are no so hardcore, and we need something to satiate our needs for speed. Mario Kart does just the trick, as just about anyone can pick it up and get halfway good within a matter of minutes.

While the game itself is excellent, there is only one reason that Mario Kart DS got as high a ranking as it did: the Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection. You may think me a bit pompous when I say that Mario Kart DS is an extremely important game. For a company that went a good five years or so saying that online play is unimportant, Nintendo sure did build some massive hype over the launch of the Nintendo WFC. Not only were people buying into it, but that fact that Mario Kart, a universally loved game, would be the first Nintendo game to enter the good graces of online play. Of course, this went over huge, and the whole world is abuzz with Mario Kart fever. While there are a few limits on what you can do online, it’s still an excellent diversion from trying to find people to play with locally.

But the online play isn’t the only saving grace of Mario Kart DS. No, the single player experience is full of greatness, jam-packed with more features that your tiny little brain could imagine. Most notably is the fact that there are twice as many courses as Mario Kart usually presents. Sure, half of them are taken from the past games in the series (four each), but that still adds up to an amazing amount of racing. There are also missions this time around, some of them strange, some of them mind-bendingly difficult. To top that off, you’ve got actual bosses. That’s right. Diddy Kong Racing tried and failed, but Mario Kart DS has successfully mixed bosses into the kart racing world. Battle mode, while not available online, has been extended to include eight players rather than the normal four. This may not seem like a huge change, but the games are way more frantic when you’ve got eight people launching shells and bananas at once.

For the hard sell, look at it this way: I’m not a fan at all of racing games, but Mario Kart has always been so accessible that even a guy like me can really get into it. I’d say that Mario Kart DS is the DS game to own, but It’d be pretty redundant, as anyone in their right mind who owns a Nintendo DS has this game. Especially now that it comes bundled with the hot red DS.

~ #2 ~

Killer7

Killer7, how much do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I made a conscious decision when Killer7 was released that I wouldn’t buy it. To this day, I’ve kept that vow, but not a day goes by that I don’t regret it. I would trade all the half-baked Mario spin-offs and impulse buys in my GC library for this single game. Ever since I returned it to Blockbuster video, I wish I’d bought Killer7. I’m probably the last guy on Earth to know anything about love, but I’m pretty sure that when you think about something every day, there’s something pretty significant there.

Killer7 is easily one of the most off-the-wall games ever created. The story is deeper than the Grand Canyon, and intricate enough to confuse even the rocketingest of scientists. Many little bits of the plot are omitted, and the information they do give you is all out of order, so just understanding the story is challenge enough. Then they add a thick layer of highly stylized graphics on top and flesh it all out with some excellent audio, and you’ve definitely got the whole package. Oh, and did I mention that the gameplay rocks too? Yeah, it does. While the game places you on a rail, and only lets you travel backwards and forwards (and change direction at junctions of course), there is still a huge sense of exploration, as the stages are impressively large and contain a great many paths to travel. The core gameplay is shooting, and the fact that your enemies are naturally invisible just makes it that much more exhilarating. A quick scan will bring them into the visible realm, however, and then it’s just a quick draw competition to see if you can cap their weak points before they get to close and make your head a splode.

Killer7 Really has everything a great game needs. It presents fantastic production values, has a story solid enough to compare to Donny Darko, and is just a blast to play. Not to mention that it’s pretty tough, and gets insane on Hard mode. There are a couple unlockable modes too, if the regular game isn’t enough to quench your thirst for excellent gameplay. But there’s no way you’ll walk away from this one disappointed. If you do, you’re lame. And I really need to go pick this one up.

~ #1 ~

Resident Evil 4

Obvious? Yes. Deserving? Totally. If you didn’t see this one coming a mile away, you need to get your eyes checked. Resident Evil 4 brings so many upgrades to the series that it’s almost an entirely different game. You know what? Scratch that. It is an entirely different game.

The original Resident Evil might have been harder than adamantium, but it was a breath of fresh air for those of use who needed something a little different. Nearly every sequel improved on the formula, with the only exceptions being the Gun Survivor spin-offs (which sucked) and the online games (which I can’t judge, cause I haven’t played either). While other sequels and remakes made small improvements here and there, RE4 takes the idea and completely re-moulds it. Tying in only loosely with older games through a couple characters and some mention of previous events, RE4 literally takes you out of the Resident Evil world. No longer are you fighting for survival against zombies in Raccoon city. Now, you’re thrown into a rural European village, where the locals have been consumed by parasites and are out for blood. The static camera is gone, and now you can aim in more directions than straight, up and down. The inventory system is totally reinvented, letting you carry as many items as you can squeeze into your attache case, rather than having to try to get by with 6-8 item slots. Typewriters are still your saving tool, but item boxes are gone, and you’re no longer forced to find seven billion different keys. Bullets are more plentiful than ever now that enemies drop items, but you’ll still manage to run out now and then.

The game all comes together under what might be the best graphics ever and some seriously spooky tunes, and some top-tier voice work. There are plenty of things to keep you occupied should you become tired of the main game, and of course, there’s a hard mode that will have you ripping your hair out. The game was originally released exclusively for the GameCube, but due to it’s immense success (this game most definitely sold more than a few GameCubes), it’s recently been ported to the PS2. One might expect that on a technologically inferior console, Capcom would have had to make some concessions in the graphics department, but as far as I’ve heard it’s as pretty as ever and doesn’t even suffer from slowdown (like the PS2 Killer7 apparently does). Add on a handful of significant extras, and you’re set to impress.


There’s one thing that I have to get through before I finish. Sadly, the list became out-of-date even before I finished it. See, I had it written out to about number seven, and let it fall to the wayside for a couple weeks before I finished up. In that time, I was able to find and obtain Trauma Center, and I played a couple games that I definitely would have put on the list had it not already been decided, namely Prince of Persia: the Two Thrones and Tony Hawk’s American Wasteland. But alas, the list was intended for games I played in 2005, and those two didn’t come to my attention until 2006. Oh well. Also, it’s really hard to remember all the games I played over the course of the year, so I’m sure there’s at least one deserving title I forgot.

And speaking of deserving titles, some that come immediately to mind include: Jump Superstars (DS), Metal Gear Solid 3 (PS2), Meteos (DS), Kirby Canvas Curse (DS), and shadow of the Colossus (PS2). While many skeptics thought it would die off quickly and made fun of its “small” launch lineup, the DS has had an absolutely mind-blowing year, pumping out all sorts of great games. And with my acquisition of my own PS2, I’ve certainly been exposed to many more games that I would have if I’d stuck it out with only my Nintendos by my side. The more the merrier, you know?

I feel kind of bad that there wasn’t a little more variety on the list, but that’s kind of what you get for playing mostly the same kinds of games, I guess. you’re thinking it, but you should know that I didn’t rate the games on fanboyism alone. No. If that had been the case, there would have been a lot more Ninja Turtles 3: Mutant Nightmare on it. I picked my games based on either how much time I spent with them, and how much I want to play them when I’m doing something else. Heck, on that latter note alone, Killer7 should have taken first, but I’ve gotta be fair. Seriously. I think about Killer7 and how much I love it all the time. I really should have bought it… In any case, I’ll be keeping a list of games that I play in 2006 so that I’ll have an easier time coming up with the ten best when December rolls around.

Much apost about nothing

Well, I’ve got nothing to do at the moment, and I really don’t know why I’m posting. I’ve got nothing overly important to say, and I’ve no new junk to review. I could review old junk, but bah to that. Too much work. Oh, I did the coolest thing at work yesterday, and I’ll tell you more of it as soon as I can recapture the magic in picture form. While I’m on the topic of work, I’ve been applying for jobs at other places, so if I’m lucky, I won’t be working at Timmy’s much longer (“Roll up the Rim” season is just around the corner).

I guess it there’s anything to talk about, it’s Prince of Persia: Warrior Within. I rented it, and wasn’t overly impressed. The dudes at Penny Arcade whined about how Prince is no longer the great charcter he once was, and I was surprised that they do actually explain the reasons for change in the manual. Nevertheless, his new persona is much less likeable than before. -2 points. The game is now more heavily based on fighting, and it’s damn hard too. It was nice and simple in The Sands of Time, and while the new system is nice, I wish it were more centered around the swinging and jumping stuff. -1 point. The bosses I’ve faced so far have been really dull block-fests. It’s just block, block, block, and hope maybe there’s an opening here or there. -3 points. The soundtrack is all hard rock/metal, and while I like it, it doesn’t go from the arabic ambiance to battle rock. It’s just always shoveling metal into your ears. -1 point. The nice thing is that there are plenty of secrets to be found, and some hilarious secondary weapons, like a hockey stick and a plastic flamingo. +2 points. I can’t be certain, but I think the graphics actually got worse… No points awarded/lost. Overall, it’s a solid game, but you’ll probably want to go with The Sands of Time if you’re only gonna get one. At least the story is pretty cool and fits in well with that of the first.

Oh yes, and I finished Resident Evil 4 a while ago. Twice, in fact. And pretty far in my third game. The final chapters are very Resident Evil, contrary to some people’s complaints about the game. You know who you are. Not to mention it implies (as explicitly as possible) that RE5 will be along eventually. And the credits scene is really cinematic. When it was over, I got up and for a moment, thought I was leaving a movie theater. The unlockable bonuses are awesome. The mini-game Assignment Ada is cool, though a bit too easy. The Mercenaries, however, provides a great challenge and the opportunity to play as several different chracters, including the mysterious HUNK and long-time villain Albert Wesker. It’s all great fun and adds much to the replay value of the game, which is already unfathomably high.

Pretty good for a post that wasn’t premeditated at all. I guess the next time I’mma gonna post will be around the 15th or so, when I pick up the new Wario Ware game and possibly StarFox: Assault. Until then, here’s the SF:Assault soundtrack, in download form!

ADDENDUM- Oh yes, I forgot to tell youse (though some may already know) that the Mists of Avalon Online forum is now all prettied up. It’s got a starry background. …Yeesh. I usually don’t promote other people’s stuff so often… (at least not those who don’t have a widely known web presence)

And I found this thing out on the net and was sufficiently charmed by it, and couldn’t resist putting it on my own site. Don’t act like you aren’t charmed by it too.

You’ve got red on you

My reviews of “Dawn of the Dead” and “28 Days Later” were rather sparkling, so you know that I quite enjoy zombie movies. The gore, the paper-thin plot, and watching the characters fail hopelessly at making it through alive are all fundamental parts of any zombie flick. Lately, they’ve been changing the formula around, making for zombies that aren’t really zombies, but star athletes and spies that just happen to have a hunger for human flesh. And not since the Evil Dead trilogy have we seen a funny zombie movie.

But “Shaun of the Dead” has got it all. Being a parody, it was bound to be funny, but I never quite realized the true potential funny that it had. “Shaun of the Dead” is straight-up, stripped-down, kickass Hilarious. In between all the zingers and fart jokes are some genuinely amusing sight gags and other stuff that I’m not sure how to categorize. It’s a movie that other movies should look up to. Not since “Goldmember” have I seen a movie that kept me laughing almost the whole way through.

And for the other standards, how does “Shaun of the Dead” stack up as a zombie parody? Well, there’s gore. Not boatloads of it, but when you do get to see blood and innards flying about, it’s absolutely beautiful. The plot is great and you can really relate to it, but more on that in the next paragraph. All the characters are rather realistic. I mean, most of the time, the heroes are regular joes, but this bunch of loonies, they set the regular joe standards. Our hero, Shaun, works in an electronics store, and his roomie is a fat, unemployed bum who just plays Timesplitters 2 all day long. Oh, and having Timesplitters 2 in the movie was really awesome. Best of all, the zombies in this movie are actually zombies! None of this running around and being smart crap we’ve been getting lately. These are your good old-fashioned, stumble-around-slowly, fooled-by-impersonators, hungry-for-brains, dead-if-decapitated zombies. It’s nice to see they’ve not been forgotten with all the new Hollywood zombies around.

The plot in this movie is just excellent. It all starts with our hero Shaun getting a lecture about needing to change his ways from his girlfriend, Liz. You see, they spend pretty much every night at Shaun and Ed’s favorite pub, the Winchester. She’s sick of it, and wants him to take her somewhere nice. So the next day begins and you really get the impression of how tedious his life is. Short version of this day’s events: he goes to work, blows it with Liz, gets drunk and is left without a hope or a girlfriend. The next day, he does the exact same morning routine, but it’s his day off, so he heads home when he’s done with his errands. Only you’ll notice that while Shaun’s actions don’t change at all, the scenery does. He doesn’t even notice, showing how repetitive his life it, and that he pretty much goes through on autopilot.

So he gets home, and then the rollercoaster of laughs really gets going. Ed discovers a girl in the garden and the two go to find out why she’s there. At first, they think she’s drunk, but then they accidentally impale her on a pipe or something, and when she gets up, they realize they’ve got a problem. Then a fat zombie shows up and they run inside. From the TV, they find out what’s going on, and they learn how to kill the zombies: by destroying the brain or decapitating them. So, they got back outside and huck everything from old records to pottery at them. After exhausting their supply of throwables, they get a paddle and shovel and just beat the zombies into submission. And I’ll tell you now, this scene is positively hilarious. The banter between Shaun and Ed is gold, and the fact that they don’t really seem phased at all considering that they’ve got two zombies in their back yard is great.

After their close encounter, Shaun resolves to go save his mum and Liz, and take them to the safest place he knows: The Winchester. And I’m not going to give away the rest of the story, because you need to see this movie. It only goes uphill from this point on, although the first encounter scene is really hard to top. Again, you need to see this movie. I loved it, and I am definitely going to buy it when it comes out.

If there is anything at all I can complain about, it’s that unlike most movies where they pick of one or two characters every once in a while (depending on the size of the cast), in this movie they pretty much get it all over at once. Really, once the first of the team of six goes, the rest will shortly follow. Sorry for the little spoiler, but I was a little annoyed at how it played out. Seriously, I think they all die within five minutes. It just ain’t right. But on the upside, all the death is followed up by a spectacular ending with more than a single twist. Oh boy, it’s great.

So yeah. There’s my review of “Shaun of the Dead”, currently competing with “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow” for the title of best movie I’ve seen this year. It was awesome, and it had everything I need to enjoy a movie and then some. Sadly, there wasn’t any nudity, a strange twist because most zombie movies have at least one breast in them, but that’s neither here nor there.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

In the transition between winter and spring, there are a lot of father-son bonding activities that are out of the question due to the weather, like skating, mini golf, and playing ball in the park. So when the best things to do are gone away, what do you do? You go see a movie. The movie me and my dad went to see during our last little adventure is titled Dawn of the Dead.

Now I don’t know if I’ve told you before, but I love zombie movies. I’ve enjoyed every zombie movie I’ve seen, even Resident Evil. You’ve read my review of 28 Days Later (If you haven’t… *shakes fist*). Sure I may not have seen a lot of zombie moves, but I still like ’em all. And the craziest part of this is that my dad generally doesn’t like zombie flicks. The fact that even he was swayed by the look of Dawn of the Dead really gives you an idea how awesome this movie is even in commercial form.

Now before I go summarizing the plot, I’d like to get one thing out of the way. I just can’t hold it in any longer. This movie is BAD ASS. And you know I mean it because it’s italicized, bolded, underlined and in caps. But I’m totally serious about this. The movie is full of everything I love; ass kicking, comedy, violence, and gore. And on top of all that there is a baby zombie. I wasn’t sure what to think of it at first, but then I realized that it was possibly the most evil-looking thing I’ve seen in a while.

So now we work on the story part. It all starts with this nurse chick Anna getting home late. She sees a little girl on the way in and they talk about roller skating and such. Then she gets home and in comes this mostly irrelevant shower scene. It’s her and her husband in the shower, and nothing is shown. The only thing this here does is make them miss the “News Bulletin” that interrupts some show they weren’t watching. And thus, we know something is very awry.

The next morning, her husband wakes up to someone gently rapping, rapping upon his chamber door. It’s little roller girl! Only she’s covered in blood. He goes over to see what’s wrong with her and says goodbye to his jugular vein. Blah blah blah, turns into zombie and Anna escapes in car after watching neighbor get hit with ambulance. She drives around and ends up in a bush with a gun pointed to her head.

On the other end is black cop man, Kenneth. They run around and meet up with Michael, Andre and his wife Luda. Luda is very pregnant, and Andre is very intent on having that baby, for reasons other than the obvious which are explained later. (Can you spell “foreshadowing of zombie baby”?) Together, the crew sets off for the only safe place left: the mall. I was sure that would be the first place zombies would go, but whatever.

After somehow getting into the locked mall (the only plot hole me and my dad were able to find), they blast a couple straggling zombies and are held up and captured by what’s left of the mall’s security guards; CJ, Bart, and Terry. CJ’s character is instantly built as a rather insane and very selfish guy. The good news is that he becomes a more likeable character later on. Not much more, but more nonetheless. The heroes turn the table on the guards, and capture them, minus Terry, who has defected to the side of the heroes. And now we learn that Luda has been bitten! (More zombie baby foreshadowing)

While painting SOS signs on the roof, they catch a glimpse of a man trapped on the roof of his gun shop, Alan. They quickly become long-distance friends, and they communicate with dry erase marker boards and binoculars. Later, a truck of 8 or so survivors appears. Two of them are killed off instantly, having been bitten. Our heroes only now figure out that being bitten by zombies turns you into a zombie. I guess they’d never seen any zombie movies before.

Blah blah blah, stuff happens, the find a dog, more people die, and I’m not going to give away any more of the plot. Not that there is really a plot, but I don’t want to spoil some of the cooler scenes or who dies with you. Let’s just put it this way, after the truck survivors appear is when the movie starts to get really good. It’s like when they got to this point while rewriting the script, they said “This movie is good, but we should still inject it with a large does of awesome”. And I bet they did.

Speaking of rewriting the script, I should have mentioned that this is a remake. Some will say the original was better, but I haven’t seen it, so I’m looking at this one from a fresh point of view. There’s only one tiny little problem with this remake. And that would be that Dawn of the Dead is the second movie in a trilogy! Damn you James Gunn! What were you thinking? Now we have no idea why people are turning into zombies! My dad thinks it’s because they wanted to get right to the action and gore. I think he’s right.

Other things I have to pick at? Well, for one, the “got into the mall that was locked all the way around” thing. That’s kind of an explanation-needer. Then there was the fact that some of the best characters died. To be completely honest, I didn’t like the small list of people who made it through. One of my favorite characters, the cynical asshole Steve, was so close to the… Oh crap. I’ve ruined it. Oh well.

Oh yes! My biggest beef with the new version here is that they made the zombies super-zombies. You just can’t do that. 28 Days Later had an excuse; they weren’t really zombies. But in this movie here, they are your stereotypical brain-munching ghouls. Only now they can run like hell and act more like rabid dogs than, you know, zombies. If this trend continues, I’m going to get very mad at Hollywood for screwing with a working formula.

Now that we’ve gotten the anger out of the way, here are some things I liked about the movie. There was plenty of awesome gore shots, and some of the best and messiest kills I’ve enjoyed for some time. And the action was top notch. Apparently, blowing up zombies work really well, and exploding a barrel of fuel right in the middle of a crowd works wonders. That and the shotgun blast to zombie melon were probably my favorite parts of the movie.

One really cool little thing I noticed was that when they showed a shot of a banquet table after our heroes had eaten, there was a red and white bucket that said “PFK” on the side. Do you know what “PFK” means? It’s KFC in French! So I think we can all agree that either some of the movie was shot in Canada, or they went to Canada, got a bucket of the colonel’s finest, and used it as a prop, cause I’ll be damned if they print the buckets with French alternatives down in them United States.

I also mentioned that there was a lot of funny in the movie. There wasn’t as much funny as ass-kicking, but it was perfectly balanced for a horror movie. For one, there was Steve. Pretty much everything that came out of his mouth was hilarious, because he was being such an asshole. Then there was the “Celebrity Zombie Snipe” game that Kenneth and Alan were playing after they got bored with long-distance chess. Some of the zombie kills were funny too, and even a couple zombies were a hoot themselves.

Even the soundtrack is great, if only for one song. Richard Cheese’s take on Down With the Sickness. It suits the part of the movie when it’s played perfectly. That and the song is just freaking hilarious. Some of the other music is cool too, and even sets up a joke or two. Aw, who am I trying to kid? I’d buy the soundtrack just for the Down With the Sickness cover. It’s that great. Or at least I think so.

What else do I need to say? The acting was pretty good I guess, but apparently I don’t know good acting anyway so there’s no reason to go into detail about that. Likewise, the story was all you can expect from a remake of a 1970’s zombie flick: Solid yet simple with few to no plot holes. The only thing that messed the story was the omission of the first freaking chapter.

And that’s what I think of Dawn of the Dead. While a couple things could have been fixed, it was a great movie that even I, a guy who doesn’t buy movies, would buy. I recommend you go see it as soon as you can. Unless, you know, you’re a pussy and a movie like this isn’t your cup of pussy tea. This is a movie that everyone should see! I can’t stress that enough. And now I really want to find the original, just so I can make sure it kicked as much ass. Definitely an A for this one. It loses the + because of that ‘lack of the first movie’ flub.

The Good Stuff:
  • Tons of gore and mayhem
  • Some hilarious scenes
  • Soundtrack features Richard Cheese
  • Zombie baby!
  • Titties!
  • The Bad Stuff:
  • Throws you into the middle of a story with no explanation
  • The “active zombie” thing is a bit annoying
  • 28 Days Later

    Today I’m gonna try something new. It’s what I’m gonna call a “mini-review”. It’s just like a normal article, except it’s a lot shorter and has no pictures. Plus the lack of proper intro and conclusion. This doesn’t count, it’s just explaining how the mini-review works. Maybe sometimes there will be a couple pics, but not for today at least. I think that I’ll start on a high note today, and review my first movie. Sure, I said I’d do a review of Airplane, but that fell through because I can’t find it and I swore off downloading movies and music. So like the title says, I’m gonna take a quick look at the newest zombie horror-type film, 28 Days Later.

    Now before I get into it, 28 Days Later is not your standard zombie flick. Sure, the plot might be somewhat similar to a certain movie about a certain Resident Evil, but on the whole, it’s a very original movie, in all respects. At least I think so.

    It starts off with some animal rights geeks busting into a monkey testing lab. A lone scientist begs them to get out and leave the monkeys in the cages, but you know those anal animal rights geeks. They don’t listen, and bam! world-threatening situation. See, these monkeys were infected with what the now-dead science guy calls “rage”. It seems that it turns the carrier into a bloodthirsty monster. And now the plot is settled.

    The greatest part of the movie is undeniably the way the title is worked in. After the monkey attack, the screen goes black, says “28 days later…” in the corner, and goes to 28 days after the incident. Here we find our hero, cleverly named Jim, naked and alone in a hospital. He awakes to find the place a mess and the city deserted. After stumbling around for a while, Jim runs into his first “infected”, ironically, a priest. He runs, and several infected chase him until they’re blown up by some mysterious masked not-infected.

    So they save him and get all “we need to survive” on him. I only remember the chick’s name was Selina (I think), because the other guy gets hacked to bits later on. Then Jim and his new buddy find some other buddies, a fat guy named Frank and his daughter Hannah. They all go on a road trip to find some kind of sanctuary. And then Frank gets mad at a crow, resulting in the dropping of infected blood in his eye. Oh, I forgot to mention that the “rage” travels by blood, and getting even a single drop of it in your bloodstream will have you turn into a murderous animal of your former self within 22 seconds.

    I’ll leave you there, because I don’t want to spoil the rest of the movie for you. Already I think I’ve given too much away. Then again, you know from the first time you see him that Frank is gonna die. So I’ll say that I’m in the clear this time. Now to look at the more cinematograpical parts of the movie. It’s fun to make new words.

    I’m not sure why, but people seem to be very critical of actors’ acting ability. Personally, I can’t tell exactly what good acting is from bad acting, so it’s really all the same to me. I suppose that you’d say the actors are good in this particular movie. I know that the infected give rather convincing performances. Especially the army guy, who you’ll get to know better when you watch the movie.

    Speaking of the infected, they are what really separate this film from other zombie flicks. These guys are not your daddy’s zombies. While they look like the generic zombie (perhaps less decaying) they certainly don’t act like ’em. These guys are fast. They run like Hell until they’ve caught their prey or die trying. They’re essentially people reduced to the lowest form of animal consciousness, and covered in gore. Not to mention their enjoyable pastime of spitting up buckets of blood.

    The music is for the most part what you would expect, very moody and frightening. But when things aren’t totally down the crapper for the stars, the music is very upbeat and happy, soothing even. I don’t know how to explain why it works, but it does. And (to my knowledge) it’s all made specifically for the film, no bands of any sort that I could recognize.

    As for anything else, the special effects were great. Actually, all effects were great. They actually filmed it in London of wherever, and somehow they did it without any signs of life at all. No lights on, no car, no people, no noise. Nothing. It’s really something you can think about and appreciate. The infected effects were above par, mostly because they didn’t have to do the falling apart like most zombies, and just put lots of fake blood all over them and pop in some red contacts. I should also mention that there is a nice amount of exploding in the flick, and good explosions can salvage almost any movie. I also liked when they did “infected-cam” scenes. I’m not totally sure why, but they were a fun part of the movie.

    The DVD extras are always my least favorite part. They’re usually crappy storyboards or music videos. This one came with storyboards, production photos, and a nice surprise, 3 extra endings. My beef is that two of the endings are the same ending, just cut into two. The third one, the “Radical Alternate Ending” is the crème de la crème of special features. It’s a storyboard with voice-overs that shows a completely different end, not just with a minor twist like the previous two. I would have loved if it had been shot and put in, as it seemed like it would be enjoyable to watch. Heck, I liked it a little more than the real ending. I’m not sure if there were any other features, cause I didn’t check, but chances are they weren’t worth checking out anyway.

    Overall, I really loved 28 Days Later. It wasn’t scary in the least, but it was a lot of fun. The only part I didn’t like was the brief and obscure wang shots, and the man butt. But those were over right away, and they were quick so they didn’t interfere too much. Sadly, that was the only type of nudity in the movie, but that can be forgiven. There was plenty of blood and gore, which I loved. Nothing better for a horror than tons of gore. There was plenty of cursing, which I’m impartial to, and the “attempted rape” scene was barely that. The story was solid, at least I think so, and it made enough sense to be plausible. This movie definitely gets my seal of approval. A+

    The Good Stuff:
  • Seamless title integration
  • Plenty of gore
  • Plausible story
  • Cool, ass-kicking pseudo-zombies
  • One sweet bonus ending (even if it is in storyboards)
  • The Bad Stuff:
  • Hollywood zombies will never be the same…
  • Man ass
  • The other two bonus endings are lackluster