Picross e4 – Digital Crack

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I don’t know how closely you’ve been following this series of articles, but near the end of the last one, I suggested that I would like it if picross puzzles always came in Mega flavour from then on.

I didn’t get my wish, but Picross e4 found it appropriate to place a very significant amount of its puzzles into the Mega category, so I’m pretty happy about that. But I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let’s take a few steps back and start at the start.

Picross e4 is just another game in the Picross e series. It doesn’t redefine the formula, add any spectacle, or try to pull off any other kind of dramatic thing. If you’ve played any one of the three previous games, you know what to expect as far as the general feel goes.

Continue reading Picross e4 – Digital Crack

Cadbury Creme Egg Biscuits

The Easter season is long since over, but I still have some things to say about it!

I still have one thing to say about it.

It’s not even really about Easter, per se, but more about a thing that only showed up when Easter rolled around. And that thing is Cadbury Creme Eggs… biscuits.

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Yes, that’s right. Cadbury went ahead and crammed down the essence of their Number One Treat into little cookie shapes. This might seem like a step in the wrong direction, as half the fun of Creme Eggs are biting into the chocolate shell and then letting the goopy insides ooze out. But let’s not jump to conclusions, shall we?

It says that these kajiggers are new on the package, and I’ve certainly never seen them before. I’m going to take it ad face value and assume that 2014 is the first year that these have existed. I’m so lazy confident that I’m not even going to do a Google search to verify it.

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The package is very similar in size to that of standard Reese Peanut Butter Cups, so I figured that there would be three biscuits held within. Turns out that there were actually six! The little guys are much thinner than you might expect, so there’s more of ’em crammed in there. Otherwise, they cut a pretty standard figure. If I had to compare them to anything, I’d say that they look like a squashed Viva Puff.

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Lo and behold, they are even more Viva Puff-esque on the inside! Yes, that’s right, there’s a cookie base in here. At first it seems like a blasphemous addition to the tried-and-true Creme Egg formula, but let me tell you a thing: …we need to set the scene here before I tell you.

Picture me. Sitting at a desk, talking across to you. I’m wearing a dress shirt that visibly has not been ironed in weeks, but isn’t too wrinkly because I hang it up as soon as the dryer cycle finishes. I have a stern look on my face. It contrasts significantly with my normally jovial demeanor; you know that whatever I’m about to say is very serious. I breathe in deeply. I look you square in the eye and your heart begins to beat a little faster. I pound my fist on the table to emphasize my point as I declare:

“These biscuits are Goddamned Delicious!”

WordPress is bad for me

I love WordPress and all, because it really facilitates managing this blog. Every post is sorted and categorized and easily searchable. Updating takes only as long as I need to write and do a quick once-over for typos (though maybe I should be doing two…) because I don’t have to worry about doing any of that HTML business anymore. It’s wonderfully easy.

Maybe even too easy.

See, I’ve noticed a trend in my blogging lately, and it’s not a good one. WordPress gives me the ability to write up a post and set a date for it to go live. So I just pop it in there and forget about it. Only, sometimes I schedule a post that I’m not quite done with. I intend to go back to it, but occasionally forget and then it shows up incomplete, and that’s just plain bad.

Only twice has an entry gone live with the body text unfinished, and I’m trying really hard to remember to set them as drafts when I’m not done writing. The problem there is that I have a rather massive amount of drafts piling up that I’ve all but abandoned. The sad truth is that these will likely never see the light of day.

The more common thing I do is write up the entirety a post and then leave any image-related work to a later date because while I do generally like the fruits of my labor, making banners and finding suitable images can be a pain in the butt. I could just as easily stop posting images along with the stuff I write, but I like to at least have something there to add a splash of colour and be more visually appealing than just black words on a white background.

All that said, I guess my point is just that I want to say sorry if you’ve been experiencing posts that are clearly still under construction. I’ll try to be less lazy from now on.

The Sub-Games of Kirby: Triple Deluxe

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The new Kirby game came out last Friday. It’s called Kirby: Triple Deluxe. When the title was first announced, I thought that maybe that meant it would be a sequel to Kirby Super Star, as that game was called Kirby Super Deluxe in Japan. Upon further contemplation, I realized that it’s just a hackneyed way of calling it Kirby 3D without actually calling it Kirby 3D. Bravo, Nintendo.

While it’s not a Super Star sequel, Kirby 3D is still pretty much exactly what one would want from a Kirby game. It’s adorable, the powers are a lot of fun to play with, and the bosses are elaborate and interesting. Much to my surprise, the soundtrack is terrific. I don’t know why I was so surprised by that though. Maybe because of the depressingly disappointing soundtrack in Yoshi’s New Island.

Anyway, It’s Kirby through and through. If you’ve played a [regular] Kirby game, you’ve played this. It’s a fun romp through a bunch of levels where you get to eat guys and wear fun hats. The new Hypernova ability is a lot of fun, but that’s not what really got to me. For the first time ever, I’ve been totally won over by the included mini-games. Or, as the Kirby series likes to call them, sub-games. And really, that is a better moniker, because these extra games are anything but mini.

The first, and the most immediately attractive, is Kirby Fighters. It’s multiplayer, and up to four players can choose a permanent Kirby ability, then duke it out. It’s a little bit like a tiny version of Smash Bros, but it still plays like Kirby. If that’s not immediately clear, what I mean is that the Kirbys move just like they do in the main game. There aren’t any special fighting game physics or nuances added for this mode. I stress this point because for some reason my mind expects Kirby to control the way he does in Smash Bros, but he doesn’t, and it’s a little weird at first. But still, it’s plenty of fun, and the abilities seem to be fairly balanced.

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I haven’t actually played Kirby Fighters with another person yet, but I imagine that it’s got to be a good time, because the single-player mode is a lot of fun. If you play alone, there’s a fun little arcade mode where you play a sequence of seven fights against CPU players. There’s a training mode where you can set up a custom match and pound on CPU Kirbys, which is pretty much the equivalent of the multiplayer experience. With four difficulty levels and nice set of arenas that draw from past Kirby games, there’s a lot here to like.

The only thing that makes me sad about Kirby Fighters is that you only get to choose from ten abilities: Sword, Hammer, Cutter, Parasol, Archer, Ninja, Beam, Whip, Fighter, and Bomb. There are 25 abilities in the main game, and while some are cut for obvious reasons (Crash, Mike, Sleep), I cannot fathom why others (Bell, Leaf, and Spear) aren’t included. Or Wing! My beloved Wing ability got cut and I demand to know why! Heck, the new Circus power is perfectly suited for this sub-game, but it’s curiously absent, too.

What would be nice is if in the next Kirby game, there was a bigger, fuller version of Kirby Fighters. Let all of the abilities have their chance to shine, whether they’re viable contenders or not. I’m sure someone out there would be pleased as punch to try to eke out a victory with Wheel or Stone. They should even put in the cooler powers that were only in one or two games, like Mirror and Animal. I would absolutely go to town in a Kirby Fighters where I could rock an upgraded version of Kirby: Squeak Squad‘s Magic ability.

The other sub-game in Kirby 3D is Dedede’s Drum Dash, which is a fun mix of platformer and rhythm game. The idea of the game is to bounce along with Dedede to the end of the stage, only the platforms that line the way are drums. You’ll jump from drum to drum, avoiding enemies and collecting coins along the way. It’s a fairly easy game if you’re just going from start to finish, but it’s incredibly difficult if you want to get you a good score.

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Dedede automatically bounces off each drum, to about the top of the bottom screen. Pressing A when you hit the drum will propel him higher, up to the top screen, and sequential jumps will go even higher, up to the very top. You have to time your bounces properly to follow the trail of coins and avoid the baddies, but it’s a lot more difficult than it looks, as you’re also trying to aim for the next drum. If you muck it up, Dedede will stumble, losing his jump power, and you’ll lose sync with the song.

You also have to press A to bang a drum along with the backbeat at the height of each jump. Not only does this bump up your score, but it also keeps you aloft for a little longer, letting you pass over large enemies and clear wide gaps. This is where I have the most trouble, because my mind cannot fathom the idea of backbeat. I was stuck forever and gave up on Rhythm Heaven because as much as I tried, I could not pass the Lockstep game, which has you alternate tapping along to the beat and backbeat. It’s not quite so bad in Dedede’s Drum Dash though, because you have a visual cue (the apex of Dedede’s jump) to go along with the musical one.

Getting it all together is tough, and takes a lot of practice, but I can already see the fruits of my labour growing. At first, my performance was atrocious, but now I’m doing okay. Earned a silver medal in the first stage, I did. Each level gives out two kinds of medals, too. The overall performance medal, from bronze through platinum, and then four special medals four each course. These special ones are for completing certain objectives, like clearing a stage quickly or collecting all the coins. Sadly, Dedede’s Drum Dash only has four stages, but mastering them will keep you busy for a very long time to come. It really helps that the game is incredibly fun and borders on addictive.

It doesn’t seem like Nintendo has any plans for it, but these sub-games could benefit greatly from DLC add-ons. Since each stage is based around a song, Dedede’s Drum Dash seems like an obvious candidate for DLC stages. Some more beginner-level stages would be nice, too, as the current offering goes from “tough” to “maddening” pretty quickly. Extra DLC abilities would be the way to go for Kirby Fighters. Hell, maybe even a few new arenas or options like an item switch.

I would readily pay a buck for an extra Dedede level or a couple new Fighters abilities. That’s an important point though: make it a buck. Plants Vs. Zombies 2 ensured that I’ll never buy any of it’s DLC by pricing it way too high. $3 for one plant? No way in Hell. Nuts to you, EA.

At the end of the day, Kirby: Triple Deluxe is a wonderful package, made all the better by a couple of sub-games that are actually interesting. Both of them are fun and deep enough that they could be their own game. I mean, just look at how much I wrote about them alone! This was supposed to be a medium-length blog post, but it ended up being a whole article. And I hardly even did any senseless rambling! funny how things work out like that.

Tacoception

Hi, may name is Ryan. I’m an addict. I can’t stop eating Doritos Locos Tacos chips.

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They’re just exactly what I want in a Dorito, and it’s killing me that they’re only a limited time thing. In fact, I was looking for some just last weekend and I couldn’t find ’em. I’d be more worried that they’re already gone, but I freely admit that I didn’t look very thoroughly.

The real kicker here is that I’ve never had the actual Doritos Locos Taco. I’m sure I’d like it, but Taco Bell is just so far away. And also that would mean that I’d have to eat at Taco Bell. I don’t generally have an issue with fast food, but even I find Taco Bell a little off-putting.

These chips, on the other hand, I feel pretty safe about eating. Also I get to explain to anyone who hasn’t seen them before that it’s a chip that’s based on a taco that’s based on a chip. Hence, tacoception.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go out and find me some more of these babies. And if they’re already gone? The razor and I have a date in the bathtub.

Dark Souls: Creepshow

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan ran away from Anor Londo because it as too hard, and met a giant snake monster that told her about her destiny.

I meandered around the Firelink Shrine graveyard, busting skeletons to pieces as they came, until I was fairly sure that I’d found any noteworthy bits of equipment and items that I’d missed during my previous expedition here. The skeletons were still fearsome foes, but my skills with a sword -as well as the sword itself- had improved since last time.

Unfortunately, my sword wasn’t going to be of much use where I was going. I needed the Divine Battle Axe that I’d had forged so long a go. A little birdie told me that divine weapons could put down the regenerating skeletons in the Catacombs for good, so I was going to have to learn how to use something other than my beloved Drake Sword.

The axe was unwieldy, but powerful. It was slow to swing, but a strong hit could temporarily shatter the top half of a skeleton to bits, leaving its lower half defenseless and open to attack for a few seconds. It took a bit of practice with the weapon before I felt confident taking it down with me into the depths of the Catacombs, but I had to press forward, and the only other option I knew of at the time was Anor Londo.

I was not going back to Anor Londo.

Creeping down the shadowy staircase, I kept my guard up, knowing that a skeleton and the screeching explody things were waiting in the darkness ahead. The first skeleton came at me, as if out of nowhere. I parried its attack and countered with a mighty blow from my shimmering axe. The divine weapon sent bones flying in every direction. I waited, keeping my shield at the ready. The bones didn’t move. I waited a little longer, nothing happened, and I moved on.

Inside the entrance to the Catacombs, I saw the faint lights floating around above the bottomless hole. They seemed a bit father than usual, which was a boon because they didn’t appear to notice me from that distance. I was curious to find out exactly what they were, but decided not to risk it. I continued down around the edge of the pit and busted up the skeleton that was waiting to ambush me at the bottom.

When I had come down here the first time, I was beset by immortal skeletons and inexplicable explosions, so I didn’t really have time to notice that the cliff at the end of the path did not lead to yet another bottomless pit. No, there was a floor below, maybe a ten-foot drop down. It was hard to see in the darkness, no wonder I’d missed it before.

I hopped down and was immediately attacked by a troop of skeletons, commanded by an undead man who confidently whipped fireballs at me from afar while his minions engaged me in close combat. I rolled away from the skeletons, and went after the necromancer. He ran, but there wasn’t anywhere to go. I struck him down, hoping his death would extinguish the force animating his bony buddies, but they continued to charge me.

I came out of the darkness of the crypt into a valley bathed in sunlight and prowling with skeletons and necromancers. The Catacombs were a massive, winding mess of tunnels, shafts, and catwalks. It was also full of statues, some of which would fire out spikes if someone stepped too close. Finding a bonfire in this place was a welcome reprieve, and getting to the bottom wasn’t nearly as difficult as surviving at the bottom was.

At the end of the main path was a long, narrow mausoleum build into the side of the valley. Waiting at the far end of this mausoleum was another titanite demon. This fight was much tougher than the first one, as the narrow hall made it difficult to get around to the back of the demon where it was relatively save. The big guy softened me up with a few blows of his staff, and then skewered me with a diving strike. You Died.

I worked my way back to the titanite demon, this time attempting to defeat it with a mix of fireballs and arrows. The strategy seemed airtight, until he reminded me that he could fling lightning bolts at me from his staff. Also, he has a pretty amazing range on that jumping attack. You Died.

A flat-out assault didn’t really work either. You Died.

Annoyed, my next plan for dealing with the titanite demon was to simply run past him. It worked like a charm, except that behind him was just a dead end. Oh sure, I found a few Eyes of Death back there, but those were absolutely useless to me. The demon wasn’t too happy about me taking its baubles, so it killed me again. You Died.

A couple attempts later, I was running away from an encounter with the demon that went bad very quickly, and as I dove to avoid a lightning bolt, I discovered another path off to the side, well out of the demon’s initial field of vision. I stopped to lament how stupid I’d been for not noticing it earlier, and that was just enough time for the demon to catch up with me. You Died.

Tune in next week for Part 23: Spooky

An errant wrench

The Year of Nintendo 64 is going well, and I’m staying rather interested in it, much to my surprise. So far, I’ve finished at least one N64 game a month, with good times and bad times along the way. It’s been fun, and also a learning experience.

Recently, I learned a very troubling thing.

I booted up Quest 64, my chosen game for May, and was surprised to see a notice immediately pop up that informed me that I’d need a controller pak (N64’s equivalent to a memory card) to save my game. No problem, I had a few of those back in the day. At least one had to be kicking around in my big gaming chest.

I found a controller pak, conveniently inserted into another controller, so I yanked it out and slapped it into the controller I was using. Another notice came on-screen, telling me that the data was corrupt and that I’d need to initialize the card before I could use it. Whatever. I don’t recall ever owning a game that saved to the controller pak, so all I’d be losing was corrupt data from rented games.

I formatted the card and started up the game. After about half an hour, it dawned on me that I should probably save and reset the game before I got too far, to see if the controller pak was still capable of saving data. I saved, reset, and loaded my game without fault. Good, so the formatting worked. I played for another couple hours and made substantial progress, getting at least a third of the way through the game.

I decided to play a little more a couple nights later, and was devastated (but not totally surprised) when the “Your data is corrupt. Please initialize the controller pak.” screen came up. All that time wasted. A quick search in the back of my third N64 controller came up empty. I haven’t done a thorough search for another pak yet, but I fear that the dead one might be the only one I own.

If I don’t possess a working controller pak, I’m still split on whether I want to go out and try to purchase one, or if it’s a better idea to just try to power through the game in a single sitting. Like I said, I made it pretty far in only a couple hours, and I think I could manage it. I’m not necessarily looking forward to such an endeavour, but I like Quest 64 enough that I don’t want to write it off, either.

The good news is that Quest 64 is (apparently) one of only two games that save to the controller pak exclusively, and I don’t own the other one, so this won’t shouldn’t be an issue in the future. I’ve got my fingers crossed. This has been quite the unexpected wrinkle in my grand scheme.

Not a bad idea, the train

I’m not much of a reader. I used to be, back in the day. I used to read books by the… well, maybe not dozens exactly, but I used to read a whole lot more than I do now. I think I read a grand total of three novels last year?

It really is a damn shame too, because I love to read. I really do. Books are so much more interesting and deeper than movies and TV. Aside from me being completely obsessed with video games, I think the only thing that keeps me from reading more is the fact that it takes a really long time to read a book. I have a tough time sitting through a two-hour movie, so you can understand how my attention would easily wane while trying to work my way through a book. I’m a slow reader, too, and that certainly doesn’t help.

While perusing the internet last year, I happened to come across a piece of Mother 3 trivia that interested me: The twins in that game are named after a set of twins in a trio of novels. Intrigued, I did a search and upon reading the Amazon summary, I knew that these were books that I had to read.

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The Notebook, The Proof, and The Third Lie. Collectively, they are apparently known as The Book of Lies, but the book that I bought gave the trilogy no such title. I bought it for my wife as a Christmas gift, since it sounded like something that she’d enjoy as well, and also because she actually does read a lot of books. But secretly (not actually secretly, as I told her outright), I had bought it for myself and waited patiently as she worked through it so that I could have my turn.

The day came, and I began reading. I was not hooked right away, but I think that by about 20 pages in I was finding it almost impossible to put down. I chipped away at it over a couple weeks. Somewhere in the middle of The Proof I set it down for a month or so, choosing to focus on handheld video games as my settling down activity before going to sleep. But then I picked it back up and burned through the rest in three consecutive nights. When I closed it and put it down on my nights stand, I wondered how long one should wait before re-reading a book. The only book I’ve read twice in the last decade was Monster Island.

And this is where I wish that I was smarter. I wish that I knew how to talk about books. I wish I knew how to intelligently express how I feel about the trilogy I just finished reading.

As it is, all I can leave you with is the sentiment that I absolutely loved these books. They were beautiful, and horrifying, and depressing, and inspiring, and heartrending. They were brilliant. It’s not often that I offer book recommendations, but go to Amazon right now and put your order in.

The only other book that I can recall being quite so gaga over is The Forever War, and I only wrote one sentence about that one. You know what I think it is about these books that proves that they’re so great? They make me want to read more.

Dark Souls: A Different Approach

Previously on Dark Souls: Morgan tried to break into Anor Londo castle, but got mercilessly killed over and over agin for her efforts.

The silver archers were starting to drain my enthusiasm. No. The gauntlet that led up to my inevitable death at the hands of the archers is what was really bugging me. Spinning that tower over and over again was such a chore. It was at this point that I decided to go back to the terrace bonfire and make that one my respawn point instead. It was a longer walk back across the bridge, but still took less time than waiting for the tower to do two spins after each death.

I’d lost count of how many times the archers had killed me, but I was still trying to find a way past them. There wasn’t one, though. There was only one way into the castle, and it was past these jerks.

Giving it yet another go, I steeled myself after disposing of the winged demons and started running up the buttress. I made it! But now was not the time for rejoicing! The ledge that led around the castle was very narrow, and a snigle misstep would send me to my death. Again. Also I still had those knights to deal with. Luckily, a stray wall was between me and one of them, so I only had to face off against the other to progress.

Gripping my shiled tightly as each massive arrow deflected off of it, I slowly edged towards my silver-plated foe. He stood unwavering in his position, loosing arrow after arrow even as I came within  striking distance. The knight then exchanged his bow for a sword and shield, apparently intending to engage me in a swordfight on the precarious ledge. We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, and I began to worry. I had never faced such a patient foe before, and this knight had been just as agressive as the rest until just now.

Then I felt the arrow burrow into my back. The force of the impact slammed me into the wall and I bounced off of it, and down into the dark unknown. That stupid knight had just been stalling until his buddy was in a position to shoot me from behind. What a couple of dicks. You Died.

My spirit was broken. I was never going to get into the castle. So I headed back up the trail to the landing where I’d first set foot in Anor Londo, head hung low, and had the winged demons carry me back over the mountainside to Sen’s Fortress.

I trudged back to Firelink Shrine and rested at the bonfire, weary and not sure of what I was supposed to do. Then I noticed a strange clacking sound coming from behind me.

I turned around, and past a few crumbling walls, where there had used to be an empty area that resembled a pool, was a massive, horrifying head sticking out from a pit of inky blackness. The creature rhythmically clacked his teeth together as I approached it, and it seemed almost happy to see me, which was somewhat alarming in this hostile world.

The creature, who introduced himself as the primordial serpent, Kingseeker Frampt, was in fact delighted that I had shown up. Seems he’d been looking for the chosen one or some junk. I wasn’t overly interested in his story, but he did say that an object of great power, the Lordvessel, was hidden away in Anor Londo castle, and that he thought that I’d be the one who could obtain it.

Guess he hadn’t heard about my adventures in Anor Londo.

At least I knew what I was supposed to be doing. I had an objective now. But I decided to head off in the opposite direction and fight some skeletons in the graveyard instead. It had been a while since I’d been over that way. Also I owed them a little payback for all those times that they killed me when I first arrived in Firelink.

Tune in next week for Part 22: Creepshow