- 060509 | 21:03 | Ryan

Being back from holidays is a pain in the ass. I've never been overly excited about work, but over the last few months I've gone from apathetic about it to downright loathing even the notion of work. Maybe it has something to do with my current place of employment, or maybe I'm just super lazy and hate work just a smidgen more than Average Joe. I'm betting it's the latter, but with a generous helping of the former. And lemon juice. Bitter, hateful lemon juice.

If there were one thing that could pick up my spirits enough to keep suffering through the long days without seriously considering burning the place down, I'm pretty sure it would be a toasted breakfast food with pictures of giant robots printed on it.

Holy shit! Kellogg's read my mind exactly!

I'll be the first to admit that they could use a little fine-tuning (getting the images in the center would be enough to please me), but these Transformers-branded Eggos make my day far more than they would a regular adult. Maybe it's because I'm more likely to love anything when giant robots are involved, but these are my favourite limited edition Eggos ever. And they don't even have chocolate. Or chocobos. But then again, there aren't a lot of breakfast products that feature chocobos to begin with. In fact, I'm not even sure why I mentioned chocobos in the first place. Maybe because the word looks so much like chocolate. Also, I've been reading Gamespite Issue 1 Vol.1, and like a third of its pages are Final Fantasy-related articles. So maybe I have an excuse for having chocobos on the brain.

Ahem.

Now that that little burst of randomness is over (hopefully), let's talk a bit more about these eggos. Obviously, the pictures weren't going to be as colourful and sharp as the ones on the box, but there were almost inexcusably low-quality. In all honesty, the pictures look worlds better in these pictures than they actually do. My camera must have some sort of anti-blur, colour-enhancing filter, because the pics printed on the waffles were both blurry and dull. Dull almost to the point where they looked like the ghosts of the images that should have been printed on the waffles. However much sense that makes outside of my head.

I know, I know, this is pointless picking because food that is supposed to look like things always turns out half-baked (hyuk). Just look at character-shaped fruit snacks. They never look like the licenses they're supposed to be representing. At least not enough that you'd be able to figure it out without previous knowledge of what they're supposed to be. So I guess I can't be too mad about the low-quality robot pictures on my eggos. Just moderately disappointed. But in the end, like I stated before, I would be more than happy enough if the pictures were centered.

Actually there's one more catch here. See, the waffles have that flat part in the middle where the Transformers guys are printed, and it's actually a Transformers Eggo killer. I dunno if it's just because the texture is wrong, but this phoney-baloney middle section makes the whole eggo taste like the notably inferior Eggo Pancake. It's a huge blow to the appeal of eggos, which may not be much, as they're just shitty frozen waffles, but like I said, the Egoo Pancake is much, much worse. I'd rather grind my tongue with sandpaper than eat eggo pancakes.

On the upside, I suppose you could at least cut them up and pretend they're really simple puzzles.


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© 2002 - 2009 Ryan Tuominen